Eat lentils because Jow Forums said they are good source of protein

you also drink a gallon of that cows milk

>Eat vegetables
>Shit blood

Laughing at you pathetic stomachlets. t. omnivorous-masterrace.

Don't you mean Cowk and Bull torture?

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no

>>Shit twice a day
You think that’s a lot? Are you a woman? I used to shit 4-5 times a day when bulking, now that I’m cutting, I shit 3-4 times a day. Faggot

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Lentils with pork, chicken and beef, add some rice and boi, u have the perfect meal (And of course I dont give a fuck abouts farts, Its means that u have processed all of them B^) )

>I used to shit 4-5 times a day when bulking
SO THIS IS NORMAL ON BULKING???????
Fuck, I thought I'm getting cancer or something like this shitting 4-5 times per day.

>I consume things I can't digest to the point where I shit 4 or 5 times as often as I am supposed to
the chromosomes are many within this one

post body

I ate more fiber than you and I only pooped once a day. I ate 12 servings of beans a day with blended up peppers. My shit burned.

kek

>tfw I used to shit large horrific 6-7 inch long brick once a day.
>now I shit like a rabbit.
I miss being a teenager.

Happens when you don't eat legumes often. Avoid them until your gut calms down then eat them maybe 1-2x per week until you get accustomed to it.

>I shit 3-4 times a day.
That's legit diarrhea.

>op finds out about fiber

Nice

Upvoted! xD

Hey that's me.

>semi OMAD and ec stack
>drink 2 pots of coffee and two white sips between 9am and 1pm
>eat nothing but unlimited raw carrots, broccoli and cucumber with extra strength tabasco before 8pm
>slimy, chunky soup like shit every 1.5-2 hours
>asshole bleeds from constant wiping, permanent pain from the tabasco spice
>shave the hair around my rim and gooch but only every 4 days or so to get the ultra abrasive stubble for bonus irritation
>my asshole's agony is a constant reminder of my pursuit of gains, and of jesus's agony on the cross
>unquenchable burning in my rim means i can never stay still, constant fidgeting = constant low level cardio involuntarily
>can't sit or lie down for more than 20 minutes at a time
>can't hold a normal conversation or be quiet in public without screaming, huffing or letting out low guttural grunts - girls find me more assertive and dominating, and can't help but get wet for me
>gains like never before
>coat my asshole in bulldog face moisturizer after every evil, acidic liquid shit so that i can keep abusing it, maximum pain with minimum long term damage and maximum glory to christ
get on my level faggot
when will you take the anal agonypill anons?

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>bulldog face moisturizer
Bulldogs have dry face?

this is the key to beginning your anal agony journey user, enjoy your gains and you're welcome

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It means you're not absorbing anything genius, plants are not meant to be eaten

I always feel proud when I drop a 10 inch ass wrecker.

I shit once every 2-3 days, sometimes can go as long as a week. I still rip ass a bunch.

Weird how glucose is the bodys preferred source of energy though

post body

youtu.be/YGyAu71b72c

Semen is your mother's preferred source of energy though. What do you think of that, cuckold?

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>staying late because numbers aren't doing what the boss wants them to
>head on over to break room for some crisp and delicious water
>death creeps out my ass but that's ok because I think I'm alone
>get the fuck out of there when my eyes start tearing up
>Tokyo drift the corner and almost run over some uggo that was probably heading to the fridge for some slop
>few steps away from the crime scene and I hear a faint "Jesus Christ"
>That Which Creeps eventually finds me sitting at my desk and asks if I'm ok
>???
>She asked if I shit myself
>I kindly explain I'm on a different diet and death butt is a side effect
>She explains im handsome enough as is and I shouldn't be "killing myself"
>this brightens my late evening even if it is coming from a monster

>so this is what 'making it' smells like

>not realizing that vegan shills promote legumes and other shit foods on this board
Eat carnivore and you won't have bloating or gas

probably because you're fermenting all the undigested protein and fiber in your gut

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HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA CANT STOP LAUGHING XDDDDDDDD WHERE CAN I UPVOTE

Weird how too much of it can have catastrophic consequences

'Too much' water can also have catastrophic consequences

>lentils (raw)
>raw
>raw
>raw
i am impressed that you can even digest anything from them raw they are poisinous raw lol you have to cook them fucking retard chart

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The protein is bound in lectins anyways so you wouldn't get anything out of them anyways.

Imagine actually believeing this lol

Just colon cancer

>what did I just read

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the future of fitness my freind ;)

>Shit twice a Day
People don't?

>cow
that's a bull it doesn't make milk

This. The more you eat the more your digestive system has to process food out. When I was bulking i was lucky if I only shat 4x a day.

Maybe you're eating too much? I remember when I made a lentil soup that should have served 4, but I ended up eating it all in one sitting and had non stop, painful, hot, loud, revolting farts all night long

those things only happen when your gut isnt used to it. i ate lentil and bean stew all my life and i dont fart from it at all.

>my asshole's agony is a constant reminder of my pursuit of gains, and of jesus's agony on the cross
Praise be

Lentils are nasty. You can't even do anything with them. Just eat beans or mushrooms.

Your first time not processed carb rich food?

Linsen und Spätzle ist das Essen der Götter du Heide

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>not drinking bull milk for maximum test boost

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now look at cooked beans, that's the most bioavailable protein you're ever gonna get from legumes

Basiert und schwabengepillt

You're actually getting fiber in your diet and your body isn't used to it.

Those are rookie numbers, should atleast be shitting 3 times a day. More fibre

Lentils >>> Beans

sehr gut

haha we did it reddit! xD

Like every other American you have proven bably destroyed your microbial gut profile by eating burgers and milkshakes as your main source of food. You probably have very little left in the way of the bacteria that assists digestion of plant matter.

Like an emaciated African child you will have to gradually build up. You don't just eat a serving of lentils you work up to that you cunt. Just put them in your rice etc.

that doesn't work though
as an european white male who had issues since I was a toddler eating plants and farted and had runny shits all the time, I can safely say that you're full of shit(no pun intended).
I also went vegan for almost a year straight and my digestion got worse overtime, it didn't even stop getting worse, forget even getting better or adapting, no such thing actually happens in real people.

Not thé guy you are replying to but you are wrong.
You obviously have some digestion issues.
I have been vegan for a few years And you do adapt. I can eat half a kilo of lentils in two days And ve totallY fine (And I do that quite often).

>Tfw you drink milk and become liquid

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Stfu guy, you don't know anything.

Well you obviously have digestion issues regardless of your diet. Get tested so you don't gradually kill yourself, and don't come onto Jow Forums looking for diet advice at the best of times never mind if you've had problems since being a child.

>You obviously have some digestion issues.
that are gone once I leave plants completely out of my diet, yes
I can drink pasteurized milk by the gallons, daily, with 0 issues, 0 symptoms of discomfort or anything of the sort.
But if I eat one apple I get the shits and stomach pain.

Explain that one to me, explain to me how I am wrong about what I experience from eating plants.
>And you do adapt.
I didn't, so you're wrong, and you are still vegan and thus most definitely biased towards your diet still while you haven't quit yet like I did.
I thought I was getting better too, but that was a lie I told my self because I really wanted to make it work.
The day I stopped eating plants and drank a gallon of fucking shitty conventional cheap supermarket milk was the first day in a year that I had perfect digestion.

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Kek, you and me, brother.
I can eat some plants. But so far I have only had success with Mango, Apples and Sweet Potatoes
>that look on people's faces when you say you've eaten nothing but chicken and pork for a month

I'm still experimenting, but I would highly recommend you try drinking some milk Kefir. It's fucking based

digestion issues that are 100% gone if I cut plants from my diet
there's no need to get tested for anything, since every single person I know also suffers from eating vegetables or legumes in any significant ammounts in terms of digestion and mood and energy , every single one.
It's only the online diet gurus that claim that their healthy diets are so much better, in reality they suffer and lie to themselves and to everyone else how they truly feel, maybe if they decided to change their diets and cut plants completely off their diet for even just a week they would feel way better and wake up.

> if I eat one apple I get the shits and stomach pain.
>Explain that one to me
Apples contain more fructose than glucose which can overload the intestinal fructose transporter, such that the fructose isn't absorbed and instead acts as a fermentable laxative. This is called fructose malabsorption.
Alternatively you have hereditary fructose intolerance which is a genetic disorder. None of that has anything to do with plants and only to do with fructose-containing foods.
Wow, that was difficult!

I don't even like the taste of milk but I can digest it absolutely perfectly, I am willing to try kefir but what's so good about it? Is the taste better?

Yeah, people are just brainwashed and assume that if you don't eat vege tables you are gonna get sick, funny that I feel, look and perform better without any.

I really love fruits but if I find that if I eat any significant ammount of them I get massive horrid farts and shits.

you forgot to explain why I get the same issues from eating anything with fiber, as far as I know broccoli/spinach/potatos/beans has virtually 0 fructose but I get massive shits when I eat it and not to mention gas, bloating and lack of energy.

Studies by smarter men than you, covering a greater sample size than your circle of bbq loving American suburbia friendship group anecdote say otherwise though user. You should lay off the s3vrige videos. Not being able to eat plant matter isn't normal, just because you feel nothing from your shitty diet now doesn't mean its good for you.
>when I eat no plants I feel great
Okay take that as evidence you should eat no plants, invite me to your wake in ten years.

From where the fuck are you from that you don't beans and beans like shit makes you shit yourself? What uneducated country is this?

Your subversion won't work here, s3vrige, go home.

pff. Thats no bueno hombre. I eat a lot but I only shit at max. 2 times a day, both times massive, solid logs

Throw in a bone.... baby you got a stew goin.

I don't know what's so good about Kefir. But at the moment I'm not trying to listen to anyone about health and what might be behind any benefits. To me it's all bullshit, and the only thing trust is my own experimentation.
I have been trying to introduce foods one by one and see if any adverse reactions occur. So far I'm eating Pork, Lamb, Chicken, Kefir and Sweet Potatoes. I ate some mango this afternoon again after some time off and will see how my stomach reacts.

I think the benefit from Kefir may come from the digestion of the lactose by the bacteria in fermentation as well as some possible probiotic/enzyme effects. But that's all speculative. Just try it for a week and see what happens.

I have had the most amazing few weeks since I started eating only meat and kefir. My mood was so much better than it has ever been. Really amazing. Fuck doctors, and fuck conventional health wisdom. If you take a serious, empirical, unbiased approach to your health I truly believe you will succeed.

I'm assuming this is the case. I've been a vegetarian for a while and have been eating lentils/beans for a while and I'm fine. You'll probably just need to get used to it.

Nigga do you expect to take one massive shit at rge end of the day or what

Oh shit their shave gel is actually really good

Appeal to nature fallacy
The body doesnt know what it wants

This nigga had a nice meal and shlapped a fuckin hot dog on it lmao

you're obviously retarded and on the defensive when your whole diet religion is criticized
Smarter men than either of us have come to the conclusion that 99.99% of the pesticides and toxins in plants are naturally occuring and not synthetic, plants have exactly fucking 0 imperative or evolutionary push for making you feel perfectly well as you eat them, only some parts of plants of certain species benefit from animals consuming them and shitting their undigestible seeds over large areas of soil.
Don't associate myself with that brainlet please, I am not a cult follower of his or even follow his diet.

Furthermore, I WISH I could eat fruit all day and feel good, but it just doesn't happen and it's never going to happen, I had issues since I was a toddler that I wish I could have avoided since I was fed on a mostly plant based diet that fucked my guts up for years and years during my development.
I am not sv3rige and I am not one of his brainlet fucking mentally ill zealots, I am just being honest with what I experienced, on no plants my digestion and energy levels are vastly improved.

It's a traditional german dish and that's not a hotdog lmao

>mfw this faggot could be serious

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You have health issues that significantly affect your quality of life since you're a toddler but never went to a doctor to find out the underlying issue?

Weird how it doesn't store anywhere close to as much glucose as it does fat

Lentil are peasant food you have to boil for hours and spice.

It's gay food for losers

Are you retarded

Not an argument, sweetie.