autism stories
had a chance to lose the v card but the autismo always gets me
>be me last night
>with a girl 9/10 we're just smoking buddies
>buy weed and chill with her until night
>she tells me to massage her
>she gets naked and i go in for the massage
>during the massage compliment her quads and thighs
>tell her if she were a man she could be a powerlifter
>take out 5-6 knots out of her back then get tell her its late and walk her home
fml
nigga what the fuck? if this is real then godamn you are retarded and shouldn't even keep trying
There's no cure for such severe autism
That is beyond autism
You actually do not deserve to breed for this. Your genes are malformed.
>go to strip club
>grill is eye-balling me while on stage
>friend says she is into me tell him he's a idiot bc that's her job
>she comes over to talk
>show no sign i'm interested in a lap dance
>she leaves but comes back later in the night
>tells me she is going to go to another strip club with her friends and wants me to join her
>tell her nah, i'm getting hungry and want pancakes
>she looks at me like i'm a fucking idiot
>I realize I fucked up and go to recover
>I then correct myself by inviting her to have pancakes with me
>she laughs at me and says no
>walks away
>ate pancakes, went to bed alone
Good
yeah I'm realizing this now smoking the leftover bowl from yesterday, she actually sat on my lap earlier but said "that's the only sexual thing i'll ever do to you" laughing, i took it as a bad thing... FUCK
Fuck that bitch ill eat pancakes with ya and zuck ya dik
>have naked girl bent over on my bed
>shaking her ass and wiggling it
>she says "get over here and pound me"
>i respond "thanks, y-you too"
>walk up to her and punch her in the face
How do you get nice thick pancakes like that, I feel like I only get pathetic thin cakelets
>no getting it and responding with "we'll see about that ;)
The game was rigged from the start
might aswell contribute.
Meet girl on tinder. She asks to meet for drinks and I go to her apartment and we drink. We fuck, and it's great.
Next morning as I'm leaving my autism flares up and I..... hug her at the door and leave. Didn't hear from her again.
you would have gotten like 7 STIs if you would have banged her. your autism actually saved you
>do online dating
>meet women
>go on date one several times
>big fat tits and high sex drive
>good figure to cept for one thing
>she got slight love handles
>disgusted
>stop seeing her despite her wanting more dick
I am going to murder you
Pancakes > femoids
I understand this all too well brother. It is not an easy curse we bear.
user avoided a gains goblin disguised as a stripper. Also strippers are trash, don't fuck them.
Thank you, my friends think i am insane but they also look like shit themselves so they don't understand. Not claiming "i've made it" but def in progress to.
Had a kek
they have cardboard underneath each one, its a trick to make them look bigger.
are recovering r9k users not welcome?
>be me
>everybody walk that dinosaur
op/ i was an r9k poster, that's how i wasted half my life, started fit 2-3 months ago, i guess i could consider what happened to me a mire but it sucks
Sure it’s a 9/10 huh. This shit just doesn’t happen with 9/10s if your autistic. Fits versions of 9s is like societies version of 7s prolly
nah this can't be real.
goddamit bro she was inviting you to fuck when she sat on your lap. shit testing you with what she said. fucking hell dude
>be me
>work
>trying to hit on girl A
>days pass
>meanwhile...
>also hitting on girl B
>days pass
>fucks no given
>nobody jelous nobody cares
>sitting on lunch break
>smoking a cig
>girl A approach
>sitting with me on the table
>smoking
>talking shit
>girl B see us from the distance
>coming closer to the table
>wtf im gonna do? fuck fuck
>autism
>girl B sit with us
>we talking all of us
>they start to talk about threesome
>exactly at this moment
>say to them "its a nice thought"
>put the cig to the ashtray and leave
she was probably planning to rob you and/or she is a hooker.
do not overmix the batter. you want to mix just enough so that the dry and wet ingredients are combined, but it should still be very lumpy. that will give you taller, fluffier pancakes.
>girl wishes me happy birthday
>doesn't even open the message I replied with
>3 weeks since then
Am I autism for assuming that the birthday message could have lead to some conversation?
>sitting on a girls bed with her
>she goes for the kiss
>panic and stand up and start to make fun of her pictures of herself she had on the wall
>"haha your parent's are probably coming home soon I gotta go"
>at home party sitting on a sofa
>my crush comes up and "falls asleep" with her arms around my neck and head on my shoulder
>just quietly stare straight at the wall
>around 15mins later the girl leaves
>a buddy stared at me the whole time
>home party
>girl is touching me constantly and sitting on my lap
>when people are going home she asks me in front of my friends to continue at her place clearly implying sex
>"nah my ride leaves"
>I only lived like a mile away
>go home to cry and jerk off
>at least dozen of these
>sitting at a bar
>girl comes to talk to me
>cant think of anything so just stare at the wall and ceiling squinting my brow to think
>end up crying myself to sleep every time after a jerk session
>at bar
>buddy brings a girl over and whispers "she's all ready to take you home, just talk to her a bit"
>buddy leaves and I laugh a bit nervously and leave to get a drink
>later I see the girl on the dance floor coming towards me
>I just bailed and went to home to cry and masturbate
I could just continue but for my mental health's sake I wont.
t. 25yo khv
You can still fuck she’s likely super confused but is speculating whether she’s gross to you or you’re gay. Do it again and fuck. Her curiosity will get the best of her and she won’t be able to help but trying to fuck you again. You fucking idiot.
>be me freshmen year hs
>fat awkward fuck, no right to have female attention
>some older girl hits me up
>we talk kinda casually for a few weeks and suddenly starts coming on heavy
>outright tells me to come over and fuck her
>shes alright looking but im at my friends house a few towns over w no car cause im 14
>outright tell her "nah im with my friends playing new vegas"
>tells me im a fucking nerd and will never get pussy
>dont really think much about it til a few years later
>had a wonderful all nighter playing new vegas with the boys
I was ahead of my time