/MHG/ Mental Health General

>tfw bulimia nervosa
I can't stop punishing myself for bad diet days.

>be me
>quit booze 140 days ago
>see a counselor for help
>still wanna drink
>trying to not let PAWS get best of me
>still wanna drink

You'll be alright buddy.
Time to be the man!

what's your job? i'm a summer placement systems engineer (physics student) who's been thrust into a world of programming and software dev concepts that I haven't the slightest shred of experience or familiarity with. i only today learned how to open the windows command console. feel like i'm never going to catch up, but i secretly know i in fact will.

I feel depressed and anxious as fuck. Missing my ex like crazy, the second I got out of the gym it hit me like a wave. I should be studying but I'm wasting time playing video games and that isn't even fun.

it's gonna be tough, but he went in the best possible way, at least there's some comfort to be had in that. this is a time for family cohesion and mutual support. it WILL be ok, even though it will take a long ass time to stop thinking of him all the time.

Can't get close to the people I love because I am extremely embarrassed at the things I've masturbated, also, don't feel like I myself. I have no characteristics that differentiate me from anyone else, I never worked hard for anything in my life and now everything seems hard, because of that I never accomplished anything, If I die today less than 10 people would care. Smh at least I have a nice back.

Life's going pretty good atm.
>managed to work myself out of 24/7 depression lethargy for about a year now
>even reducing my workload again so I have some time for my own projects
>got a lot of friends/good acquaintances from volunteering
>am more social around other people and make them laugh
>recontacted an old friend and I'm pretty happy about it

But on my way home from a nice drink with friends, the intrusive thoughts crept back. Nothing upsetting happened, but somehow I just couldn't stop fantasizing about me commiting violent suicide. Punch a knife somewhere in my throat and just let it bleed out, throwing myself infront of the passing cars or just jumping from the bridges I went over.

Somehow I was kinda sad when I came home and my roommate was there so I couldn't punch doors against my head or cut myself.

Honestly I don't even know what this shit is. My life is so much better than it was a year ago and I have virtually no reason to hate my self right now, but I still can't stop thinking about self harm nearly every day.

Some office drone job while I go to uni. I am falling for the "do what you love and you'll just get a job at the end of it, don't worry about planning" meme. I'm great at getting the connections at uni, but spewing hot takes isn't really a job as far as I'm aware.

Anxious as fuck and scared it's gonna fuck up my social life.

i wouldn't say it's a meme to that much of an extent. most people piss about during uni and are generally unremarkable in all walks of life. the most successful and accomplished people I know were extremely hard workers and pursued things they enjoyed.

Was sixteen wenn my father died. Was a really hard time for years, but got better slowly. If you dont have a really strong, supportive family, you should seek professional help before you end depressed or mentally ill.

Greatest advice of all time, retard

what is your job?

Just found out i failed a really important exam.
This was the last subject between me an completing my bachelor in CS, wich I am already one year on overtime with. I am so immensely dissapointed, and i need to wait 3 months before I can try again. I was going to apply for jobs so that i could start earning some real money, and get an apartment, but now all that must wait. I fucking hate myself for failing that exam, and feel so lost.

Only course of action is to use those three months productively by building your project portfolio and preparing to wreck that last class. Will immensely help with the job search. Been there, brother

Failed exams before man, If you use it as a learning exp then it isn't necessarily a complete loss
Also about half of the people in my undergrad took an extra year to graduate so don't sweat it.

I have a moronic case of oneitis. I know it's stupid and over time I'll get over it but it's still an annoying distraction.

Took a gram of shrooms the other day and I felt like it sorted some things out. a little anxious about starting my bachelor's degree, and i'm also about a week into nofap/noweed.

So your friends are losers, who make you feel bad for wanting to succeed?

Those aren't friends user, those a scum bags. Time to move on.

Anyone have experience cutting while taking an antipsychotic? I gained a fuckton of weight while on zyprexa/olanzapine and now I'm trying to cut while taking risperidone. It's been difficult and I'm barely losing weight. I think my TDEE actually lowered because I'm having to decrease my caloric intake more than I already have.

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Literally every person I know in real life is a brainwashed far-leftist. I don't even know any reasonable moderate-leftists, just communists and SJWs. They all believe whatever garbage nonsense the news feeds them, and I feel like I'm losing my grip on reality. I think about this every time I lift, like I may have to fight my way out some day.

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*tips*

Laughed really fucking hard at this
You're a fucking retard mate

It's probably just where you live, also people are more likely to share views that are socially acceptable because you can now lose your job or go to jail in some places for wrong think. There are more people fed up with this corporate newspeak bullshit than you think.

Who says Jesus is the actual true way to God? Why only look at Christianity?

Started meditating today, hopefully I can start a successful nofap streak as well.
I'm very timid and quiet when I talk to people now so something's got to change.
And I'm not sleeping until 3 AM now or eating.

jesus said "I am the way, the truth and the light. no one gets to the father except through me." multiple sources agree that he actually existed. and if he actually existed and claimed he was the son of God/God in the flesh and willing to die for it then we are left with 3 options. he was either our lord and saviour, a liar, or charles manson levels of crazy

Let that anger fuel you, forget about getting a gf. It sounds ridiculous, but keep learning, pick a hobby (additional to lifting), all will fall into place. But only if you put on the work.

My mental health pill makes my chin look healthier so I take it everyday

im on day 43 of no fap. honestly I think its great for my mental health. Now i just need to get off the computer/phone more and start reading or doing other things away from the screen which is pretty hard for me.

MODS

Keep up the good work, nothing positive is coming out of a life of alcoholism. 70 days in here.

Don’t let your past actions dictate your future self, it’s never too late to stop doing those things you’re ashamed of.
Are you still in school? Are you currently working? Establish short term goals and elaborate a plan to successfully accomplish them.

hate that communist corporate newspeak

Not much to share except my mental health and clarity did improve over the past couple of weeks.

Solved 3 problems this weekend for work and still feel like a failure. Nervous as shit about my first big project starting tomorrow. Wish me luck brothers.

Taking responsibility for everything that happens to you is the only way you can achieve contentment in life. Doing hard things is the only memorable part of your life.

so 66% odds against him being the son of god, hmmmmmmm, wonder if I should believe based on that.

Nothing to lose, everything to gain, friend.

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Help me Jow Forums I just want to be loved. Lifting only dulls the pain

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My father died from brain cancer when i was 14, the process was horrible (2 years of slow decline), your father was "lucky" to go this way. It gets better for sure, i'm still thinking about him after 7 years but it's a "fun thoughts", makes me smile rather than sad. Anyway at 17 you're past the age it'll fuck you up for good like it did to me.

The trick to pills that make you hungrier is not to feed them. I was on an antipsychotic that made me a bit hungry, and when I ate I went from hungry to STARVING. It was a lot better when I didnt give in to the urge. One of the pills I'm on has to be taken with food which is annoying cuz now I cant fast.

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sorry to hear that user
it will be okay, it will get better
its a tough time, but you will get through it
went through it myself 3 years ago, it does get better

quit over 20 years ago now
did think about it and wanted it for probably the first year or so, what helped me was reminding myself of where i ended up and the consequences
it gets easier
if you drink, 100% chance it will get MUCH HARDER

every year i get older and lonlier
major oldfag boomer here
plenty of hot women that i dated, usually for significant amounts of time
though they really were all nuts, and i broke up with almost all of them, i realize that i myself am a total nutcase as well
last gf could be very warm, very fun to be around, but at times ridiculously demanding, unreasonable, and didn't care if what she demanded required my thus working weeks with no days off
the good times were really good and she was very good looking

im trying to take some time for myself to work on trining myself mentally and physically
in the meantime i get random mires or messages from middle aged ladies - basically my age - who i am totally not attracted to

sometimes i think that im just too messed up and should give up on some kind of relationship where im attracted to the woman and have a sustainalbe emotional connection, and instead just go to massage parlors and get random hjs from hot women from time to time
though someone can train in a wheelchair to go really fast, they'll never be a marathon runner; i think maybe i just need to set lower standards or something, too fucked in the head
thanks for reading my blog post
may you be blessed with amazing gains

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I have nothing but regret regarding how I have lived my life and the consequences of that and there is nothing I can do about that. Apart from that I feel pretty good.

Keep it up brother. Remind yourself of the stupid shit you've done while drunk. Do you have a sponsor?

thanks, that's what I've been trying to do. The cravings are intense on risperidone but I'm staying more strict about my caloric intake

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read your Bible user, skip the Jew shit in the Old Testament and stick with New Testament Christ.

Sorry for your loss user. Make your dad proud and lead a good life.

Same here bud. Not sure that I believe in a Christian god now that I've grown, but I'm going to a private christian uni in fall to hopefully rediscover my faith. I just hate, so much, living without hope...

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damn, that sucks user

on the bright side, you are 1/2 batman now, so that's cool

I used to struggle with this too because organized churches are usually bullshit. It probably sounds dumb but I just accepted that if Christ does exist, he loves me and wants the best for me. A lot of things follow from that. It’s hard to explain but once I accepted that idea it became easier to love and respect myself, which leads to a serene sense of contentment. Idk the hokey magic shit is ridiculous, but just accepting the idea of Christ’s love does have an effect more powerful that Noah’s ark or turning a staff into a serpent or some other shit.

Was lifting on a good schedule last year
this year let it slide during the school year and totally stop this summer
mostly because im planning on killing myself and thought why bother
gained 15lbs this past month, eating and drinking like mad
feelsbad

How'd it go, user?

youtube.com/watch?v=iDcOuTdjq8E

hang in there bud, I was in the same position as you 8 years ago, it really fucked with me, wish I had this video back then

I just struggle with the whole "you need a physical medium in order to be saved" instead of going directly to God. I accept that Jesus is the Son of God, and God is, but it bugs me to no end that "Salvation is through Christ alone".

Develop self control, any good father expects at least that much of you, especially when it's your responsibility to lead women and children.

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Its because you have a small penis user

based saved weeb poster, i like this video because it has the verses in each step youtube.com/watch?v=WDEBz25lGdY

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Based god

I am none of these things, but I recently got diagnosed with severe clinical depression with psychotic features. I've been in intensive therapy for the past 9 months, 3 times a week. SSRIs made me lose my libido completely, so nofap is easy. Im think I could get it up even if I wanted to. I'm not even 30 years old yet.
I can lift 170kilos off the floor and put it down repeatedly, but I can't seem to be able to lift my depression.
Never had a gf, flunked out of uni, hate my office drone job. Friends stopped calling me. I hate putting effort into anything, it all feels so pointless, but it's all I know so I keep on going. The hours that I'm not lifting, running, working, eating, making food or meditating I just cry until I can't physically cry anymore. Been sui for a long time, but I'm living day by day, hour by hour. Been hoping it gets better for a long time.

I'm sorry for your loss. I hope there is someone there for you.

realized i couldve tried harder with my ex and if feels fuckin bad man

Get to know your shadow better. It will kill you if you don't.

Every day I wake up and go to bed depressed and lonely but during the day I usually feel fine. I'm active and try to be social and busy with school but it's not enough what else can I do?

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whats your shadow

Those are not your friends. Real friends want the best for u

try again next time

I feel amazing, I think my depression is linked to inflammation but I've been trying to do something about that and now I feel fucking great. Also worth noting is this black seed oil shit is made from the same stuff onionbrah used when he was doing his experiment.

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My father cheated on my Mom. He's going to leave us. Strangely enough I don't care.

I know a girl I want to have a relationship with, but I don't care any more. I don't even care that I'm probably going to die alone and miserably. I don't care if my brother dies today I don't care if the jews take over the World. I wouldn't care if I died right now.

I'm 18 and still in school, but I feel like my life's already over. What is wrong with me? I feel like an empty husk or a parasite leaching of life.

Sounds about right. Might be some comfort to know that it happens even if life's going fine, it just swaps the feelings of failure for dissonance in why you can't enjoy anything.

How's the therapy going? Does it feel like it's at least unearthing some of the bullshit or is it just fucking around?

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I'm praying for you bro, whether that means anything to you or not.

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were all gonna make it.

are you me?

I'm just 18 and every time I remember, I wanna kms. I promised myself that if I ever become a threat to society because of that I would jump from my roof.

I haven't been with anyone for over a year because I'm convinced that no respectable guy will ever see me as more than just a cum dumpster, and even if someone does, they'll reject me because I was a cum dumpster

I massively (and unintentionally) fucked over my best friend last night, to the extent where she had to leave our final uni party early she was so upset. I’ve tried to apologise but she’s been busy every time I’ve asked to speak to her today. I’m really worried I’ve destroyed our friendship, especially because she’s one of the only friends I have at uni

i want to rewind to the start of the year and make different decisions

This is true.
You are a whore and will forever be known as a WHORE. Only weak and low status men will date you and will accept your used roastbeef holes.

I want to rewind to the start of my life.

I have invited a woman for a dinner date i had prepared, blew me off to go out drinking with friends. Ended up going to town and met up with her there since we have friends in common. Later that night my "good" friend who knows i am interested in her started making moves on her. I exploded told them both to fuck themselves and left. Feel like a fucking loser for opening myself up.

Fucking christ Jow Forums whats wrong with me

b-but I'm gay

I am obsessed about an ExGF, was fine for months but the last couple of weeks its been driving me mad. She is toxic to me, don´t want her back, but can´t stop thinking about it.

Been looking at /pol, news in general too much and if that doesn´t fuck up your mental health I don´t know what will.

Totally procrastinating over paid work, just can´t get on with it and keep telling myself in a minute.

Got no patience or tolerance with myself or the rest of the world.

Cant quit smoking.

Just feeling angry at myself because I am not measuring up to my own expectations and I have no one to blame but myself.

Lonely, but know that a woman is only likely to add to my issues.

In a rut and don´t seem to be able to find the will to try and get out.

Not been to the gym in 2 weeks.

Want to throw myself into a 6 month hard work plan but just feeling to pathetic to start.

pls fuck off you degenerate virgin
i will find you

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I feel for you bro. My mother died when I was 17 as well. I had a very reflective period in the atfermath of it and came out a lot stronger on the other side, to the point that I'm grateful for everything that happened. I think it helps a lot to embrace and accept that there is a very dark side to the world. It helped me to go from a fat and naive retard to lose 50 lbs, get a gf and start studying psychology with straight As. It gets better and you get stronger, you might wanna read some Nietzsche or something

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My dad died when i was 17 too user. Im 22 now and it gets better. He wouldnt want you sad. It is ok for you to feel what you feel. Keep your head up and keep moving forward, dont turn to substance.