FPH/FPS

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>named Alexandra
>fucking Alexandra
>name literally means "defender of man"

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>Tammy Slaton
>teacher
>only 425 lbs
Tammy is special needs retarded and is over 600 lbs.

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is derrick based?

imagine being the guy just walking past that literal shit. what a story

Fucking burgercock, every single fucking time without fail

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i hate those

This dude should be shot on site

Yeah I don't care much for red velvet cake either

i mean, does anyone here disagree?

Who puts peanut butter in the fridge?

It'd be pointless, Champions of Nurgle have massive physical resistance. Holy Promethium or bust.

What? People don't put peanut butter in the fridge? Why wouldn't you do that?

Is this real? In all my life, of all the times I've been sick and had diarrhea, it's never rocketed out of me like a pressure washer.

this man is my fucking hero. what a legend

youd be surprised how much pressure you can put into a shit.

I've seen this pic a million times but I am still 70% is satire

It does not need to be refrigerated. The oil within preserves it. Safer with natural peanut butter l.

Wasn't this confirmed fake a while back?

Fucking based. That guy that walked past got absolutely mogged.

I used to be just like that fat bitch. I used to do it because I didn't want to put in the effort to help myself, and I didn't want everyone else improving and leaving me behind. I thought I was a good guy because I was "keeping the gang together," but now I realize that I was only being a dick.

>
ridiculously fake. anyone who thought this was real is 100% brain-dead, full stop.

nobody said GOMAD would be easy

>Thinking it is normal to have multiple people in your head

>people

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It's a big fat head.

opened products are usually kept in the fridge

lol this chick is totally right about the bias but I'm in favor of this and more. They should double the price every 2 sizes.

Isn't the argument that they cut sizes, let's say 14 and down from a single piece of fabric anyway, but if you go above that, they have to use additional sheets? Fatty could be bringing up a good point, tho.

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>2019
>Not having multiple “headmates”
>Not having multiple voices hyping you up for each lift

>inb4 the chubby chasers show up

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All you need to do is look at it to know that it's probably bait.

The more these fake stories come up, those people we eventually start to think it is actually okay to be like this.

Congratulations, you started the new fake world

In capitalist fatmerica, child pushes you!

DERRICK!
Do I look like a hotdog
DERRICK?

Cant say shes wrong...

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>burgercock likes this
10/10

ahahahahaha fuck

That’s fake right

I have terrible anxiety when flying and now I have another thing to worry about. Fatties preventing evacuation. FUCK.

Fucking indians

Ph-scale 10

>has knowledge of the ruinous powers
I’m getting the commissar

How do you know that they are ruinous powers unless you know of them too?

The only thing collapsing is her chair, with the floor coming in as a close second.
Fat people don't need to suffer for me to feel like fat people are disgusting wastes of space causing themselves harm and being a burden on society - it is because they suffer that I hate them. It is because they were born into an affluent area of the world and given all the chances in the world to make something of themselves, and they chose to instead waste that potential.

Fat children are sad, fat adults are abhorrent. I was a fat child. It was all I knew, and until I was into my twenties I hadn't realised what I was doing to myself. I knew I was fat, of course, but I had never experienced being fit, so I did not know what I was doing.
But every day, there are things that draw your attention to the evil you are committing unto yourself. It's what fat fucks call "Micro-aggressions". Moments that make you realise that you're fucking yourself up.

A floorboard that creaks only for you.
Being out of breath when climbing the stairs.
People waiting for you to stand up because it takes you so much longer than it took them.
Planning copious food breaks.
Everyone looking at you with that look that makes it very clear they think you're a lazy fuck with no self control.

I feel 'superior, significant and safe' as a thin person because I am superior to what I was before by almost any metric you would care to mention. I feel more significant because people look at me and aren't instantly (rightfully) disdainful. I feel safe because if something goes wrong I can run. If I am attacked I can defend. If I fall into water I can swim.

I feel all those things when comparing fit me to fat me, so why would I not feel those things when comparing fit me to fat you?

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Oh, I see. I usually pour all the oil out first.

I really hope that guy called the airline to complain afterwards and got a flight voucher or some free airline points or something which hopefully will force the airline into making more regulations and stipulations about fatties flying so that they won’t endanger more people’s lives.

I want to fix fat people but in 99% of the cases they don't want to be fixed

Please tell me this is bait

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that's it, I'm getting me warhammer

Based if true

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CARTMAN!

well said user

you jest but my shits looked exactly like that when I did GOMAD

I didn't stay on it for long

UGH WHY IS IT FREE WHEN YOU GET ONIONS ON A BURGER BUT BACON COSTS EXTRA UGH

A few people died when a Russian plane went down because a fatass couldn’t get out the door.

Just make sure you climb over them or kick them forward

>tfw healthy weight (21 BMI) manlet
>tfw pay roughly half price for clothes

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Well written

Didn’t this recently happen in Russia? More people died because they were stuck behind a fat during evacuation? Man, I’d push the fucker down and run on top of him

This is one of the best things I've ever read

Questions even the best minds still cannot answer.

It’s even better evidence showing that parents should be allowed to euthanize their children at any time. Like when they’re 25 year old turtlekin retards living at home

>1 year ago
>high school PE test
>need to write about diseases and how to prevent them
>answer with obesity and just diet and exercise
>landwhale teacher just happens to walk behind me while she's making sure nobody's cheating
>hear her audibly huff as she walks on by

Take out the knees like in that gif of that due folding that fat shebeast with a littletap to backs of the knees, hit them in the weak points and you will prevail

Nah, my parents would euthanize me for not being overweight with them

Anyone have the memewave version of this?

Defender from man, actually. In a twisted way it makes sense

FAWKIN' BASED

Read about this stuff. Fat people take it because it helps lose weight but you're supposed to eat less when on it. If you eat a lot this yellow stuff keeps coming out of your ass.

Gotta get them gains as soon as possible

Based blog poster

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Where do I find someone like this? I LOVE baked goods, although I am not fat at all.

>Get job in office
>Tell fatty coworkers about how you used to be obese but lost the weight
>Mention how restricting your diet is
>Enjoy free junk food
>Alternate between bitching about how you're gaining weight and how you finally got back on track
>enjoy unlimited free food
Affordable, unlimited bulking

Based and checked. Can't wait to enjoy the office bulk!

Bpp

NEETs BTFO

>bulking with sugar

>tfw skelly
>tfw can just run/swim/walk backwards/climb up something if I ever get attacked
>tfw have natural defense of not looking that tasty due to being a skelly
Good work user.
You’d think one would seriously reflect on their life if they not only can’t walk down an airplane aisle well but take 45 seconds just to get up from the seat.

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The problem is that the higher sizes are skewed due to fat fucks. While small sizes are tailored to short and skinny, big sizes do not get that luxury. A size 22 could be really tall, really fat or anything in between. Nothing fits properly at that size because the companies can't actually tailor their product to one body type. No matter what they cater to, they will always lose some segment of the market. This is why plus sizes cost more. It has to be a more customized product.

>pansexual but currently abstinent

>oh no, my secret achilles heel is rare steaks
>please do not take me to steak houses or cook any in the office, I would simply gorge myself
do you even want to make it?

I did the opposite. When I would hang out with fat friends, I would bring the raw vegetables. I would bring shit like broccoli or carrot. Pizza party? I would bring some sliced cucumber for everyone to share. Though usually the people who would take a piece or two were not the fattest people there. It really puts fatties on the spot and shows to all their friends their dietary choices in life. Can't blame genetics when you won't even touch the free salad, yet eat half a pizza.

Imagine being Derrick and having to do nothing but mock fat people all day long

>size 22
>clothing won’t fit properly
why are they even trying to find something that “fits” or “looks good”? just because someone puts handfuls of literal shit in a pretty garbage bag doesn’t make it not handfuls of literal shit

You know you need to eat solid foods also while on GOMAD?