This is all your life will ever be. There is nothing after death, and on some level you know that. This is it...

Death doesn't scare me, but I am not delusional in thinking it is some great relief. I will never experience the relief. It is, like you said, complete nothingness. Darkness is just a way to describe the phenomenon.

That's not nothingness. That's darkness. It's not nothing. The best example would be me asking you to tell me about what you were doing before you were born.
The relief isn't after death, it's the relief before it.

>That's darkness
Not for me. I literally see nothing out of that eye when I do that. Not blackness, not darkness, nothing. I only see from my right.

Like user said, the split second before the curtains close os the relief.

You're seeing the back of your eyelid. I can tell by your half thought out analogies that you're just a teenager going through an edge phase.

This is why I'm making an active effort to fall off the wagon today. I drink every day but I've been good about it for a few months. But I am so sick of everyone around me being a miserable fucking wreck, and their lives aren't half as bad as a lot of posters here. I'm also sick of this board, although I don't have the willpower or dignity to move onto some other shitty corner of the internet. So today, I am getting drunk as fuck.

youtube.com/watch?v=IMtDuv48XsQ

oregano

Probably not worth it. Alcoholism just makes it all worse. But I cannot tell you what to do, and ultimately it does not matter.

I have been an alcoholic since 2008 and was just in the process of recovering, not fully but I was just drinking beer for a while. Today, though, some shit happened, and I don't have any way to cope besides posting on this shithole board, I don't have anybody to vent to, they're all self-absorbed and dealing with their own retarded self made problems, I just don't care anymore. I keep thinking I don't have any hope to lose, and then I keep proving myself wrong.

>non-scientific woo woo spiritual guide has the cognition to interpret quantum physics
You are a fool. I recommend listening to actual physicists like Sean Carroll to gain some perspective on these matters.

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Still, I'm here
Could have just been nothingness, darkness, just an endless sea of black, like how it will be when I die and like how it was before I was born
Might as well use my life here, that I have been lucky enuogh to be given, to fuck around in this massive sandbox

I was an alcoholic a few years back. Like around 2012-13. I found that any time I had a rough day and the strong urge to get shitfaced, I would go on a long, exhausting run. Not sure what kind of physical condition you are in, but I recommend doing some hard physical exercise if you can. Work the itch out of your system. But once again... it is on you. If you truly don't care, I cannot stop you. But you will probably regret getting blasted.

I don't consider it lucky at all. In fact, it is a massive curse. This is all suffering. So much of life is monotony. So much of life if pain. Happiness is rare, and fleeting. When nothing really matters, nothing is particularly interesting. It is like we are playing an open world game we already beat. There is nothing to do. It feels empty. Aimless wandering.

I'm not OP and I don't see darkness or anything when I do it. Try it yourself.

I am definitely in no condition to run. I really hate exercising, but you're right, I am at least trying to pace myself so I don't pass out before sunset. I just don't understand people, I don't understand the motivations behind what they do, I don't know why some of them just fucking lie about shit that doesn't even benefit them. I seriously feel like everybody else is fucking crazy and I'm just left out as to why they do the things they do.

Then either shut up or off yourself
crying little shit

It's weird how people like you act like you keep going for some good reason, but the minute someone doesn't feel the way you do you sperg out. Imagine your world views being so easily shattered by some random person having a depressive episode.

I know this is supposed to be a downer post to invoke some sort of sadness or anger, but it doesn't make me feel anything, maybe I'm just numb from the PTSD. I play life as if it were a video game, and I've become somewhat reckless in recent time. I'll tell off a boss or coworker as a wagecuck, not caring if I get fired, I drive 20 miles above the speed limit on winding roads, I bought a tent and will sleep in it now when home life gets insufferable. I don't care if someone tried to get violent with me, it give me an opportunity to use my knife on some worthless piece of shit. If anything goes by the wayside, I can just step in front of a train or jump off a building. I'm slowly losing all fucks.

I'm not suicidal. Seems like unveiling basic truths has struck a nerve. I get it, life is disappointing and immensely unsatisfying. I hope you find a measure of contentment in your life, but very few ever do.

A pointless, boring, dull video game. I hope LARPing as a sociopath brings you some measure of contentment.

I'm far from a sociopath, my friend. I have horrible hyperempathy and am codependent. It's my caring too much that has made me hate everyone.

Meh. Gets pretty dry after awhile. Anime does nothing for me at this point. Vidya can occasionally distract me.

The range of outcomes is fairly narrow. Your "best" life is not much better than your worst life. However, the former takes a lot more effort to achieve. No thanks. I will stay on the sidelines. No need for all of the discipline, inevitable suffering, and frustration that comes with buying into life's pyramid scheme.

I know that feel.
originalolio.

>There is nothing after death, and on some level you know that.
I find that comforting. I wouldn't want to live forever, in any way, shape or form, not even eternal bliss.
In the end you get what you get, and then eventually you die, once you understand that you'll see that there's no reason to be anxious, or angry, or sad about it.

you say it like it's a bad thing
desu orig

It is not a bad thing, necessarily. Although it would be nice if this universe was a bit more interesting. The human experience is pretty mediocre.

that I can agree on my dude. the average life is really fucking boring 99% of the time. I think our universe should spice things up a bit.