/sig/ - self improvement genital

>>If you need to put others down to feel good about yourself, you are putting yourself in a position where you are dependent on the people you look down on.
I was about 23 when I first realized people like this actually exist. I genuinely thought when people do that shit they were criticizing people the same way I'd criticize someone's lifting form. Also made me realize I often ended up as a punching bag to people like that. It's fucking pathetic, don't be that guy. yes I am autistic.

>no more mr nice guy
thats not how evolution works

these are spot one

Lifelong unathletic person here. I was, for three years, in very good shape because I was on a college sports team. I quit because I needed to shift my sports/life/academic balance back to schoolwork, and besides occasionally going on runs or doing some weights, I haven't worked out seriously since early 2016.

Thankfully I haven't gotten fat. I would say I'm skinny fat now. I've lost almost all of my muscle definition and have developed a skinny chicken neck. I have a very hard time motivating myself. I feel depressed and ugly. I'm in a long term relationship with a girl who really let herself go, got fat, and I can't break up with her for a number of reasons that I don't want to go into now.

Now I'm pushing 30 and I feel like garbage all of the time. I'm depressed, horny because I don't want to fuck my girlfriend but also because I want to try to not cheat on her, but I constantly feel like a weird creep for checking out women or catching myself looking down their shirts. I watch too much porn because for a while it was the only thing that brought me joy, but lately even that just disgusts and bores me. Even jerking off feels like a chore.

How the fuck do I regain my motivation? How do I care again? I feel like the best years of my life are over but I'm still thirsty for that era of being in shape, free, on top of the world. Every day I wake up it's hard for me to get out of bed in the morning, eat, or take a shower knowing that I don't know how to get back to where I was again... or that it might just be lost forever.

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>nd I can't break up with her for a number of reasons that I don't want to go into now.

ive got insomnia, do tell

Sup boyos, exams are over and I have 3 weeks to do whatever the fuck I want, I'm already going to the gym and reading a tonne, as well as going on dates and getting laid. What else do I do with my time, I need something productive to do?

her parents paid a good chunk of my college tuition and continue to pay for our rent. I moved to a distant city with her after college where I have no connections, and where it is extremely difficult for me to find a job that isn't in the service industry. I am currently unemployed. Her sister is about to get married and I can't leave her right before or after the marriage. I got her pregnant once and she had to have an abortion.

She is also a good person and I don't want to hurt her. I care about her a lot.

honestly i don't think you can at this point without money. have you got enough money to totally change your environment? if not, you'd need like ghandi levels of willpower.

good luck man

>thats not how evolution works

In. What. Fucking. Way.

How does it not work like that?

yeah thanks. I have a couple thousand bucks saved up but very little income and a lot of expenses coming up. I think the only thing I can do is force myself to start working out and getting those endorphins flowing again.

To follow up on my reply . If evolution is considered in it's most simple concept "the passing of genes from one generation to another" How the fuck is he wrong.

Do research before you post your opinion you mong.

>She is also a good person and I don't want to hurt her. I care about her a lot.

By stagnating and being dishonest, you are hurting her. Do you not want to love her wholly and honestly?

Sit down with her, and talk about your life choices. Make a decision together to overhaul your lifestyles.
Lets stop being slobs together!
put some life, some energy, some passion!

you are both young, life is still long my friend. I was once like you, and occasionally still think dark thoughts, and Im 25.
Some days I cry about how Ive wasted a good portion of my life to depression but the dark thoughts are not here to stay.

Work in something, anything! Service? lets go, a hipster cafe? lets do the faggoty job. Get outside the house, get moving.

Her parents helped you, because they saw potential. You are blind to the people around you, they love you. Youre here shitposting in the corner of the internet about your worries.

Talk to her, let her know you care about her and you dont want to hurt her, but you are also hurting

tldr stop being a faggot and start living

wow some actual good advice for once

that's fuckin whack

I hope you make it man, take a screencap and post a follow up thread someday

Start a business

>both young
>30 yo

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we're likely gg to live to see 100 seeind medical science

you can make it in life when you decide to do something about it. I believe it.
I believe in you user

>I need something productive to do
try volunteering srs

How do you get a good judgement of how you look?
With pictures and mirrors, I can make myself look horrendous or pretty good depending on angle and light, and I don't know anybody I could ask.

Also when you measure your arms or whatever, is it flexed or unflexed? pump or no pump?

I want to make it plain, and admit some things to myself. I know I can do better. My social life, my career, my routine, my diet--all of this can be improved. But this is Jow Forums and we all know a thing or two about body dysmorphia don't we? Well imagine that, it's more than just my body. My social life is awful, my diet is awful, my blah blah blah... most of you probably have above average bodies, and most of you probably see nothing but the problems. It's like an addictive personality, what are you going to do with that energy? You don't get to wish it away. You do something. If you're an addict, do you go to the gym, or drink? It's becoming clear to me, that there may not be a middle ground. But by god, at least I have a fucking compass. Never do I say, "oh wow, I'm completely content with everything." I always have a direction, something bugging me, that I need to improve. In the past, I've been the bitchy moping slug of a human being who moans because life isn't fucking perfect. But no more. This warped perception feels like a curse and a gift at the same time. So yeah, if you have that voice, listen to it. It's not your enemy. It's also not your friend. It's just there, and you have to live with it.

I feel good about volunteering for Bernie starting this week. Really a good high. I've improved myself, now it's time to improve my nation and empower my brothers.

Some people are addicted to self-improvement.

Heartwarming/10

bait

Is it worth to go a psychologist?

measure arms flexed with no pump, ideally cold (before lifting for the day). I also would like to know how to tell whether or not I actually look good because sometimes I feel like I'm attractive and other times I feel disgusting

if you have the money- yes
if you dont- read books on your self-diagnosis and brush up a little of classical philosophical ideas

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Thanks bro, I will have a look, have been meaning to do some volunteering for some time.

I don't know where else to post this:

I have the habit of thinking about other people (mainly women I like) looking through my eyes at certain times, like they're seeing what I'm doing and will think better of me. These last days I've been thinking a lot about I girl I dated who is sort of ghosting me even though she asked me to come into her apartment the other day. I declined because I'm very nervous during first encounters and I also felt like shit at the time.

>got A's in both my night school classes
>lifts are progressing smoothly
>finally got my N license today
>have a date tomorrow night
>mfw
Am I gonna make it bros?

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Any /sig/ bros have any experience dating a friends ex girlfriend?

She's ghosting you because you rejected her when she basically asked you to spend the night with her at her place

Can she be that buttblasted about it? I told her I really wanted to but it'd be better to wait for another time (should've said 'next time' now that I think about it).
Maybe she thought I want a relationship? Fucking hate it when things get unnecessarily complicated out of the blue.

>reinstall tinder
>first match I ended up nerding out about programming and engineering, we hit it off straight away
>out for drinks tomorrow
Any advice lads, first date ever here

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don't sperg out thinking about her tits the whole time, try to have fun no matter what you're doing, RELAX, don't be afraid to close

because it mutates randomly, then the environment culls the species, you could have 4 bill of successful evolution on your back and have been dealt a dead end mutation for your current environment

Anybody does any freelancing work? Ive been approached by several clients whom seem interested, but im doing something wrong in the talks, as 90% of them end up ghosting me.

This is the "script" i follow: i ask them questions about the project, try to understand fully and show interest and care, at this point we are going back and forth and its all going perfectly, then do a prototype to show i can do it, and send them that as a ""proof of concept"" together with what i would charge. Most of them don't even bother answering me after that.

Im thinking maybe its like the equivalent of sending a dick pic to a girl, but makes no sense i should play hard-to-get with them, they want sth, i show i can provide, id think its the equivalent of a girl opening by sending tit pics, they should be wanting to engage.

I charge well below normal value, but not too below that is suspicious, so i don't think its that.

Am i doing anything wrong?? Should i go slower?

This isn't exactly self improvement, but it does have to do with the improvement of my relationship with others, that and I don't know where else I could ask this.
So on Sunday, I asked one of my female friends if she wanted to hang out. She said yes and she suggested a movie, the conversation was going fine until I let it slip that I had a crush on her. She didn't really respond to it, kind of just said that she was oblivious to people liking her, and that she always tells people that it's better to tell her then not to to. I waited for her to elaborate, but she never did, ao i shifted the conversation to another topic then quickly transitioned to a goodbye. (The conversation was over the phone).
The next day, I think I saw her, but I wasn't sure, since I'd broken my glasses. At the time, I didn't think too much about it, but I later realized, that if it was her then I walked past her without saying anything. Basically accidentally ignoring her.
Later that day, I texted her what time did she want to see the movie, she never responded. Later that night, I called her, and she never picked up. I've been trying to contact her since monday, but she's been ignoring all of my texts and calls.
I was thinking of texting this too her, should I?
"I'm confused, did I annoy, anger, or weird you out somehow? It seems like I made you mad"
Or should I say something else?

>send them that as a ""proof of concept"" together with what i would charge
It seems that they ghost you because they are getting what they want at this step. Just have a really solid portoflio of what you can do, maybe explain what languages you used, etc. If they ask you for a sample or spec work, tell them to pay you first or to fuck off. I've been doing contract work for about 10 years now and these fuckers will absolutely scam you if you're not careful

And the problem of sending a dick pic to a girl is that she wasn't expecting it and probably didn't want it, but now she has it for free and will laugh at your expense with other girls about your pp

If he's still your friend; dont

I just deactivated all my social networks, I'm sick of all the bullshit in the world, I'm a married 30 old Boomer with 1 kid and no social life, how do I become happy? , Somehow I've never felt so lost

Still living with parents because it's convenient (2 blocks from campus, 3 blocks from public transit to get to work), and /cook/ who gets to make his own meal (OMAD) so I have very few living expenses. I want to put this extra money into investments and start playing the markets, but it's all super fucking intimidating. How do I get started? Any book recommendations / programs that aren't scams?

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>finally got my N license
is that your license to say the n word

Why do people get upset or angry if you consider suicide if they don't act like they care about you while you're alive? The main reason not to is because you'll "upset your loved ones", but they didn't seem to care when I reach out to them? I'm not planning on offing myself, in fact my life is better than it has been in years, but goddamn is this shit annoying sometimes. Blog post over

Damn it feels I'm stagnanting right now. I'm waiting for my overall semester results for my undergrad, and in the mean time I've been excercising, reading, playing, painting and learning how to play the drums. Yet at the same time it feels like I'm at such a slow pace because the "next thing" of my life hasn't started yet.

Only a male one. Speaking from experience here.

You already made us proud, treat the night like a celebration :)

Right now I’m at a very lonely chapter of my life and I never really knew I could feel like this. I’ve convinced myself it’s just a bad day but I keep having bad days and it’s not easy. I’m not sure about what school I want to go to next year and I’m scared for the future. I’m still a slave to my ego even tho my ego has been shattered. I’m a slave to girls. I want to be my slave.

Should one delete their digital porn collection to self improve /sig/? Do you still have a digital collection of porn?
Good job lads.

You shouldn't play the markets. Passive investing (like e.g. vanguard funds) are boring, but they can beat traders on average.
Nothing inherently wrong living with folks in my opinion, assuming they don't dislike your presence.

I compressed mine and put it on a harddrive I don't have plugged in. For all I know that harddrive might have died lol. I think that is a good option their might be some nostalgia in there you may want to revisit. That is really only reason I zipped it. At this point I should just delete it. If you are hesitant maybe give what I said a try then months down the line if you know you don't need it delete it.

Should i go to therapy?
Anxiety is killing me, i can't even show up at job interviews or talk with people.

My gf of 7 years told me a few days ago that she sometimes has doubts about our relationship because I don't show much ambition or initiative. Her saying that could be due to stress (we both have deadlines en have to look for a house in a new city), but I know she's right. I do want to become more ambitious.
We discussed it, and I realized that I also have doubts sometimes. We both sometimes feel that the other is holding us back in some aspect.
What struck me the most was that I wasn't scared of losing her or nervous that she would break up or something. I should also note that we plan to get married next summer and have been living together for 5 years.
Is this serious or simply a natural lull in a long term relationship? What should I do?

>you're not suffering from our presence here

The entire board suffers because you nards go post on the rest of it.

>I lack the social/romantic aspect.

Jow Forums isn't going to help you, fuck off.

I'm pretty sure there's a photography board for gaylords like you.

>I don't know where else to post this:

Try Jow Forums

>How do I get started?

>The entire board suffers because you nards go post on the rest of it.
Cringe, this man thinks he speaks for the entire board

Have you tried showing more ambition and initiative?

Yust got my gyno removed, feeling good bros

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I have tried doing that since we had that conversation, which was 2 days ago.
Should I be worried that I wasn't scared or anything when she stated her doubts?

18 lbs lost since last month and still going. I'm okay with 1-2 lbs lost per week. Slow and steady wins the race plus I'm definitely noticing a difference in my looks and how I feel already.

If I can make it so can you.

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You should follow this flow chart. It's "reddit endorsed", and it does work. Don't throw your money into playing the market unless if you've satisfied all the previous requirements.

Good luck, user.

Should be fine as long as youre trying and communicating with her. You might not feel anything now, but you will if you guys do break up. If you're with someone long enough, you get used to them being around. Sometimes, it's not until they're gone that everything that you feel hits you at once.

Does anyone here get fits of rage over other people's social ineptitude?
When guys mumble and can barely speak or just say random shit with a clear intention of just attracting group's attention? Normally people cringe at this type of behavior. I see red and can barely control myself. The fuck is that?

Marry. She's talking to you, that's nice. Just do something ambitious yourself and get some space if you feel you're being held back.

She told you that you're lacking ambition. Sounds to me like she's not holding you back, but pushing you forward, mate.

How do i accept being bald.

I constantly feel inferior to other men. And unfair. I am 25.

Grow a beard.

get fucking buff

Same as I did. 26 and balding, grew a beard, hit the gym, hit martial arts classes. Give no fucks.

I have a beard. I've been bald since 20. Recently i tried out a wig, half seriously. The reaction from my female friends was crazy, one of them couldnt even make eye contact with me. All really positive. But those wigs are ridiculously impracticle, gluing your whole fucking head, and expensive.

I just cant stop the way i feel, i feel like im not whole, like im broken, like im inferior. Instead of how i probably look which is more masculine and confident, i feel small and childlike while bald.

>tried out a wig
Men who glue a wig to their head, lying to everyone about themself, to repair their frickle self-esteem really really have fucking problems.
Bigger problems than being bald.

Don't do that.

Last repost: (last one got swiftly deleted along with the thread)

Seems like the thread is quite active. Anyways, I'm making a new dating rule: no girls that rejected me in the past.

I'm making this rule because it would make me feel like second place. I've seen it happen one too many times that girls that tell me they have a boyfriend or "you're a great guy but" clearly have more flexible boundaries towards others.

I'll might make an exception if during that time she didn't have relationships or sex with anyone else, although not sure how much I can trust that. Also acceptable if she really did have a boyfriend.

Thoughts from /sig/?

I'd do it if it was easy, i think you have to do what makes you happy, its only like make up for women. But i can't so i need to figure out another way to accept it.

You have a beard, so the first step is behind you. Now hit the gym. Don't let the baldness consume you. I've passed every stage of grief when I found out i'm balding, but then comes acceptance - shaved my head and never looked back. Besides i'm taking kung-fu classes (yeah I know it's shit but I don't take them for fighting, I take them for fun) and being a bald bearded kung-fu master is gonna be top cash.

She couldn't make eye contact, because otherwise she'd burst into laughter. A wig, really? Mate.

>i think you have to do what makes you happy
That's right.
Have fun getting a girl and then let her discover that you are bald and wearing a wig.
WOOOSH out the door she is.

Live with it, make the best out of it.
Build a body that fits your hair.

I am already buff. You don't get it, i've been through the acceptance, or tried to, but i just can't. I look far too good with hair and far too shit bald.

She said because i looked too hot. She really liked it, they all do, they really don't care that its a wig, so far only men care, women were all positive.

You made a huge mistake moving to a city with little to no job prospects.

You have two choices, become a house husband or move to a city where the job prospects are better.

If you have to dump your girlfriend, better to rip the band-aid off.

>wow you look to hot I can't even
M8 they were fucking laughing at you, no woman is ever gonna stop looking because you're "too hot"
Drop the wig. Stop being a pussy.

Yeah they weren't. You really think you know what conversations happened? I talked to it beforehand with my close female friends, they supported it and told me to try it, and were amazed with the results and told me to keep it.

I'm dropping it because its totally impractical, but it did look infinitely better. I suddenly look like a hot guy my age.

be a slave to making gains, not only gym gains but in other areas of life too

>I'll might make an exception if during that time she didn't have relationships or sex with anyone else, although not sure how much I can trust that. Also acceptable if she really did have a boyfriend.
Look at you making all those rules thinking you're in position to make any demands when girls reject you left and right

Thanks a lot familia. I was in a bind with how I felt and what I should do. You showed me what the right option is.
Now I just have to show initiative and be more ambitious

Not everyone can help it. I for example mumble and stutter alot becausw of my speech impediment, my tongue is literally fucked and struggles to make r sounds. I had to get surgery on my tongue when I was 10, before speech therapists would even work with me at school. Don't fucking judge people for something they can't control jackass.

I don't understand why people post on /sig/ just to be negative.

I am 72kg estimated about 20% bf, just finished a bulk and want to shred down to about 13% bf or so, i tried calorie counting for a month straight and and it is such a pain, can anybody advise on some good healthy foods that taste good and will keep me full for long so i don't give into my food cravings, i want to enjoy food still, btw I'm vegetarian

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I'm 28. I have very little sexual attraction. I used to be a horny teenager at some point, then at around 20yo I started caring about other things first. I blame porn and hentai, I used to draw that shit myself.

I have little desire to lick a pussy, fondle tits or penetrate someone and all that jazz. After starting working out and dropping porn I'd have a few days lasting moments when I'd be properly horny. I've tried meme things from Jow Forums like increasing test and using supplements and different kinds of nofap.

Never been in a relationship or in love. All my 'romantic' or sexual experiences have been with a girl I just met. I'm shit at flirting partly because I have little real attraction and not a lot of experience, so if something happens it's mostly just chance.

Any suggestions on what to do? I feel I'm just trying tricks because I'm getting old to the point of no return if I don't do something now. I just want to have a real relationship but have little motivation to work on it, so I arrange dates randomly and try to motivate myself with the sex aspect.

Going bald is a sign of high test

Here's my advice, as someone who gets art commissions sometimes (working on 10 character designs for some small production company's new cyberpunk rpg currently)

Tell them your price once they tell you what they want, confirm the price/haggle. Here's a tip my dad gave me for haggling: if there is no pushback for your pricing, you're charging too low. I know I do this already but this effect seems to run true. My friend who makes furniture runs into the opposite problem though: after running over the price, they ghost him. So his work isn't up to par for that price, if he wants to go for those prices he needs to raise the quality and efficiency of his workmanship, or just lower prices.

Another thing is after you agree on a price, send over a very VERY rough outline or draft of the project, for a drawing commission a sketch, etc. Not enough that they can walk away with an almost finished piece from you for free, but high enough quality that they want more.

Another reason they may be ghosting you is that they don't think your work is up to par, like my friend, that's why I usually show my portfolio before we start talking about pricing. It's hell to get locked into a job where the client and the freelancer are not going to mesh well because the client didn't take the time to look at the freelancers work, or the freelancer never bothered to show it first. So maybe they just don't think your work is right for their project.

Just count calories

Any tips for how to deal with the effects on ones psyche (trauma) caused by beeing the punching bag for others? Things changed and so did i, and even though i removed most of the toxic people in my life, I still feel past events gnawing on me, especially when Im alone. I feel i could have achieved so much more in life and could live a much better life if i werent so messed up sometimes and sabotage myself. Dont wanna find excuses here, since im responsible for myself and where i stand in life right now, but still i feel my past affects me a lot and shaped my personality mostly for the worse. How did you cope?

How do I get better at controlling my anger? I've improved myself a lot lately, and my testosterone has increased in turn. But this also means that I've become a lot more prone to anger whenever I'm confronted with injustice or bullshit. This isn't good when I work in hospitality. I get so much bullshit on a daily basis, and most of it I can handle, but when someone straight up tries to hustle me, I start seeing red, and I can't keep a calm and professional tone.

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