Everyone, this is user, your new coworker!

>Everyone, this is user, your new coworker!

>user, would you like to tell us a few words about yourself?

Think quickly, robots, their first impression of you is on the line.

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I once molested a penguin.

old white feminist cunts with scarves, absolutely disgusting

nice to meet you all. theres only one - no wait... two people in this room i would fuck. wheelchair grill and blue shirt youre alright, the rest of you please do not talk to me, im not interested. thanks.

I like chicks with dicks

I hame a registered sex offender.

Never work with women.
My life got so much better after I switched to a men only workplace.

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So one and a half?

uhh not really but i am looking forward to working with you guys and aunt susan who got me this job

nice to meet you all
I like the one in the wheelchair
>pushes ugly persons laptop off table and set up next to wheelchair qt

Hey guys I would like to just give a quick talk about the international jewry and the holocaust.

I would never work a for company that has more than 35% woman in it. Its just a bitch fight all the time.

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Bold of you to assume you could heave the weight of goblina.
Protip:
Just run up to wheelchair and push her out.
Why not, I mean what is she going to do?
>Run away?

I'd give it to the one in the wheelchair, deep and hard.

I've never been on a plane.

wheelchairs have really strong brakes
t. guy who worked with retards including wheelchair retards

Hello, everyone, I'm happy to join you all.
I feel somewhat obliged to tell you that I'm a bit nervous, so I hope you can bear with me for the first day. Just to get my bearings.
Now can I ask where my desk is?

desu ive mostly had good experiences working with women, almost all were hard workers, good with customers, and most of all they made the job much more pleasurable because theyre so cute and fun to talk to. but also i only ever worked in fast food and restaurants so i guess its less opportunity for them to really gossip or start too much shit.

Fine then, treat her like a backpack. Use the handlebars for leverage, and lif with you legs.

Hi everyone im user, Im excited to be a part of the team and I look forward to getting to know you all. Where may I sit?

>unzips pants
>charges at wheelchair qt
unstoppable force vs immovable object

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Born in a mountain, raised in a cave, trucking and fucking is all that I crave!
>makes the onions face while holding aloft an IPA

Wait a minute, look at the clock.
It's almost 10pm, fuck that I'm not gonna work that late.

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>10pm

That's what you think.

>eh *sweats nervously*
>awright, im user *face turns btight red*
>*awkward silence*
>spends the rest of the day in silence avoiding eye contact

it's dark outside

lmao what the fuck is this? a jew joke? youre all women!
please i want to meet my real coworkers, not the secretaries

Hello everyone. My name is user anon.
I have a sleep disorder. So I pass out during the day a lot. The book that shaped my thinking about the world the most is On War by Carl Von Clausewits.

i am a person who likes to do things in my free time.

When did I start working at Buzzfeed?
And why are there no blacks here? You guys are racist!

>hello, mein friends
>would you like some baked goods?
>there's zyklon b in them

>tfw no wheelchair-bound gf

UHHH
f..fuck jannies and fuck niggers? fuck

Why on earth are we working at 10pm?! This is a bloody sweat shop you're running!

I would wife just about any girl in that room. There's not a single macbook in sight.