Walk into shed

Don't come to Australia mate.

>*dabs*
>"gege no re"
>"FUCK BOOMERS"

>cute.webm
that's not cute at all wtf????

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Friendly reminder that even in europe the body size of spiders goes up to 3 centimeters, not including legs

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I wonder what would happen if instead of a flamethrower you threw a bucket of liquid nitrogen on them

I would burn my shed down to kill those things

as gross as those things look, NEVER kill them if they're around your house. They eat fuck loads of mosquitoes and don't fuck with you and aren't poisonous.

MOGGED

I'd rather have mosquitoes

>ah, fahck me
>BARBARA GET THE FAHCKEN ‘RANTULA SPRAY
>ᴵᵀ’ˢ ᴵᴺ ᵀᴴᴱ ᶠᴬᶜᴷᴱᴺ ˢᴴᴱᴰ ʸᴬ ᴹᴼᴺᴳ
>ah, faaaaaaaaaaaahck me

You've obviously never seen a Huntsman

considering the leidenfrost effect would instantly stop such an element to make contact with a warmer body they'd have to be submerged/exposed to liquid nitrogen for an elongated time. so splashing a bucket of liquid nitrogen would not only be in effective but also agitate the nest and likely cause them to scatter & later relocate to another area on your property in which you will unfortunately find them again. this is Jow Forums btw

Jesus fucking christ I don't think I've ever watched anything that's made me this uncomfortable, and I've seen it all. ISIS beheadings, niggers lighting eachother on fire, mexicans hacking eachother up with machetes, the mosque shooting, you name it. But this triggers an entirely different kind of rustling of my jimmies that I can't find the words to describe.

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Real talk though how do you either avoid this or get rid of this situation? I want a shes one day but I'm fearful of this exact situation

mosquitoes kill more people than any other animal/insect on the planet. Fuck those things.

God damn. Is this real? I always think people that say "LE JUST BURN IT DOWN LOL" in response to shit like this are retarded faggots but I really think you should probably just burn it down in this case

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Have a decoy shed full of empty boxes for the spiders to hole up in and eat all the mosquitoes, then put all your shit in a different shed

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Just had a friend studying in middle europe speak in horror of the spiders.
The more I hear about other countries the more I think I'll stay in northern europe. Fuck spiders and all the other little animals. I'll gladly take the 20 mosquito bites I get walking to the grocery store since I don't have to encounter these big fucks.

call an exterminator or go in there with gloves and a big ass broom and kill them all then spray the perimeter of the area with spider spray. I used to have black widows all over my place.

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Would the leidenfrost effect really work for a bucket full? I work with it regularly and getting a few droplets on yourself is fine but I've had a few times where a larger glob has almost burned me through clothes with only a few seconds of contact. I'd think a bucket full hurled towards them would override the gas barrier

Not in any first world country though

I mean I like spaders but this nigga got creepy legs, would not touch 2bh

are you guys really this gay?

Jow Forums, answer this

You wake up tomorrow with the perfect physique of your dreams and all the strength you could ever want.

BUT, you have to let video related crawl on you for 24 hours without killing it.

Do you do it or nah?

youtube.com/watch?v=Zu7xpq7uoh0

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based mosquitoes

PUNCH THE FUCKING SPIDER!

You are a giant compared to it, if it survives the initial impact and is able to retaliate it has proven to be the better organism and has the right to live in your shed.

Trial by combat.

Use my massive fucking legs to walk out of there.

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It's funny that you think that

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Would depend on the weight and inertia behind the yeet I would imagine

oh helllll fucking no

Yes, I already own three tarantulas so I don't really care. Blondis aren't even all that aggressive either, my main concern would just be making sure she doesn't fling hairs at me since their hairs are fucking horrendous.

cairns spiders eat snakes nigger

You're right, I got one in my eye before from a friend's salmon pink birdeater and fuck me I was in pain.

>this is how our ancestors survived
Millions of years later and we still hate spiders

they always say ok retard

Why kill 'em? I'd just offer them some juice like pic related
>we got mosquitoes to eat, user

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this is a good meme

>do it or nah?
In a fucking heartbeat. He's fuzzy, and that calms my instincts down for whatever stupid reason.

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>hans

Yeah, getting them in the eyes or breathing them in is hell. Would still take a hundred of those hairs over the bit of an old world tarantula though.

>old world tarantula
what's that?

Do spiders that big even bother eating mosquitos?

Spiders that big don't even fucking spin webs, they hunt

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man this reminds me of a story my father would tell me where he saw a fatass spieder on the side of his house so he took that backside of an axehead to it and it exploded into a billion baby spiders.
fuck that

Gallop away on all fours

Sure. All it takes is not making any sudden moves, and the payoff would be huge. I’d be skipping years of hard work in exchange for 24 hours of patience.

Tarantulas come in two categories: New world and Old World. New world Ts are the ones found in the americas and are generally a bit less confrontational, having evolved uriticating hairs as their first line of defense as opposed to biting. Typically speaking their venom is weaker as a result of this as well. Old world's are the Ts from Africa and Asia. They do not have these hairs and instead will bite the unholy shit out of you when provoked if they can't use their warp speed to run away. Their venom is very potent by tarantula standards and can leave you in pain for weeks.

STRAAAAAAALIAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

youtube.com/watch?v=-1GBIcsRdYc

I would. Reminds me of that one Beastmaster episode where he has to lie still for a long period of time for some reason, and scorpions crawl all over him

>live in Venezuela
>House is in city skirts, near jungle
>Go to take a shower after a long ass day
>Needless to say im completely naked
>start taking shower
>Feel some sort of tickling in my feet
>Ignore it, put shampoo on hair
>As I remove shampoo and stare to the ground I see MASSIVE tarantula on top of my right foot
>Ffs god please save my sinful soul
>Just freeze
>Slowly lift feet and try to shake it off
>The damn thing tries to climb towards my dick
>Panic and jump and flail around violently, screaming NOT MY DICK , NOT MY DICK in spanish
>Tarantula finally of body
>Jump out of shower with shampoo still on head
>Quarantine bathroom for the next 2 weeks

I almost had a heart attack

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Big spiders like this are precious and awesome. Most are big dick chads that dont give a fuck about you but kill rodents and other annoying shit. It's the medium sized fuckers that are bastards. Hobo spiders, Brown recluse, those fuckers in Africa and then pretty much everything in Australia

FUCK SPIDERS
THIS THREAD TIRGGERS ME
MODS WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS IS NOT FITNESS RELATED AAAAAAAAAAA

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Strong, athletic legs allow me to quickly jump backwards and out of the shed.

My impeccable upper body strength and mental discipline allows me to slowly close the shed door without it making a single sound or vibration.

My no-fap mind allows me to quickly realize that the only answer is to use my grandpa's WW2 grenade launcher to blast the shred into smithereens.

The truth is, lifting has been preparing me for this one moment all along.

>Tarantula finally of body

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>”I have a secret weapon for situations such as this
>”a secret weapon? Really?? What kind of weapon??”
>”why isn’t it obvious? Look at his legs, user. They’re basically small and spindly, and they still haven’t fully developed yet. That’s our ticket there.”
>”what do his legs have to do with your weapon?”
>”my legs are in great shape!!”
>”so what are you gonna do then?”
>”RUN FOR IT!!!!!”

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FPBP

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mods respect this user’s full house and SHUT IT DOWN

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Easily. Step one buy a box of 100 mealworms. Poison them. Step two toss them on the middle of the ground of shed. Step three, set fire to shed and file a police report claiming a groups of basketball Americans did it. Get some random blacks in trouble and sue them. Hopefully you’re in a state where your pure skin color will be favored over theirs and lack of evidence will get you a new and spiderless shed

I would move houses. Fucking no way I would be able to live at a place where I see something like that.

Fuck off back to 9gag or whatever other normie cringehole you motherfucking queers came from

>outrunning what appears to be a huntsman spider
That's funny. You're funny.

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The only important thing I learned from martial arts for self defence is that I have strong legs and am a pretty good sprinter

No because i didn't work and suffer to have this body, so i don't deserve it.

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>mosquitoes mainly kill niggers
I'm starting to respect the fuckers

Garden spiders are probably the biggest "how fucking creepy they look to how dangerous they actually are" of any spider. They also do this shit where they'll gyrate their webs if they feel threatened. It's fucking nightmare fuel.

Based.

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>he thinks i won't burn my own shed to the fucking ground to kill those things

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>as gross as those things look, NEVER kill them if they're around your house. They eat fuck loads of mosquitoes and don't fuck with you and aren't poisonous.

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>how will your muscles help you here?

considering these are fake spiders id just punch the shit out of all of them

idk start swinging or something

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Christ, thats funny

>can't use flamethrower or you burn your shed down

I can build another shed, dumbshit. And it'll be built on the ashes of those little hellspawn as a warning to the rest of the motherfuckers.

You did good son

pls don't post this pic it makes nofap harder

This is a good post. You're a good user. You should post more. Try to offset the retards.

>Brown recluse

They aren't "medium," they're pretty small. And generally "shy." And aren't even 100% confirmed to be poisonous.

Still, kill the little fuckers where ever you find them. But they are FAR from the worst spider on earth. Probably not even in the top three worst spiders in America.

*lands on your phone while your resting*
What now gaijin?

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I lost

Live in Germany, when summer comes in my room there are about 4 spiders in each corner ranging from 4-5cm with legs. I leave them alone I love them they protect me and eat the fcking anoying mosqitos,

Look up camel spider

This
And I'm not saying that because I'm horrified from that spider.

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DPH/10

>being afraid of giant spiders
Lol, it’s not like these fuckers will ever make it your in house or apartment. Only little micro spiders invade such human living spaces

then did u eat it

you sound like a real fucking creep

if you try to stand between my flamethrower and some piece of shit spawn of satan, you will be the first to die

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How does one say, "NOT MY DICK, NOT MY DICK" in Spanish, hombre?