I need to reconcile with my masculinity

i feel you, i was in the same boat...yes its up to every person to sort themselves out but also we live in a society that has lost any sort of coming of age ritual for boys to men. as well as sending mixed signals by allowing 18 year olds to smoke vote ect, but not drink and buy a handgun untill they are 21. We need a more universale rite of passage for all boys to really feel like they have become a man.

Mandatory basic training would be perfect if it didn't serve the (((insert who you blame for the money problem here))).

tfw dad is fat so never got to play sports with him
still can't catch

exactly i feel the same way...i went full circle on the subject too but if we didnt live in a war crazy nation that only served the jews, having some sort of Mandatory service for all youth for 1-2 years from the ages of 18-20 would not only help people on an individual level, but it would be the best thing for our society to come together as well. If everybody was forced to work together than we would have a more unified culture where everybody cared for their fellow man.

I think becoming a man from a boy requires 6 things, that any boy can do, but will take a while:

-Overcome a great adversity (an addiction, build discipline, stop using unhealthy vices, etc.)
-Get a clean break from your parents (live independently but still treat your parents with respect)
-Learn to forgive (Let go of others that wronged you in the past, continue to forgive others for their misdoings against you; remember to not be tolerant of this, but forgive them if they apologize or are ashamed about it)
-Physical Strength (work out)
-Mental Fortitude (Read, Meditate, build discipline to stick to your goals, etc.)
Provide for a family (you don’t have to be the richest person on the planet, but at least earn enough to support three people comfortably)

Let me know if I missed something. Hope this helps user.

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You fucking smartasses will also be the first ones to point out the damage single mothers do. Bunch of brainlet hypocrites.

You must kill a man and eat him to gain manliness

A man will eventually turn into a man even without his father but a single mother is pure destruction for the mind of a young boy.

step 1. stop blaming your father have some empathy.
step 2. find a mentor online from YouTube. Elliot Hulse, jocko, Jordan Peterson
step 3. dont make the same mistake

>he'll be okay with no father
>he's fucked with only a mother
user..

>18 year olds to smoke vote ect, but not drink and buy a handgun untill they are 21
MURRICA!

Fight your father in a one on one laser sword battle

Reconcile in what terms? Masculinity is manufactured (not like its fake but like culture in that it is a set of learned behaviors that suits the needs of the people) so it's more of a question of what kind of man do you what to be?

The only reconciliation to be had is to accept that maybe your dad simply didn't know or thought it was better to let you develop on your own. The thing about old school masculinity is that it is rigid and essentially requires you to break a child to remold them and not everyone fits into the mold.

You need to find your heroes, people whose actions inspire or encourage. Find traits and qualities you can care about. Mimic and them make them your own.

Uh, yes. That's what I said, good job for being capable of reading, big boy.

How exactly does he turn out okay without a father if he's fucked on account of his single mother?

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Me neither. I'd play catch with you.

father != father figure
How hard did they dropped you as a baby?

Nice b8 m8 I r8 it 8/8

Don't Europeans have better things to do than concern themselves with America?

Everytime I see one of these posts it reminds me that Europe is so devoid of anything worthwhile now that it desperately clings to biting the hand that feeds as a way to feel important.

My bad. I'll remember to be psychic next time you type somethimg but mean something else.

Europe was good before America and it'll be good when it's gone.

>the world is only murrica and yourop or wathever that other country is named
yup, murrican alright

my bad, I'll remember to spell every little thing and stop thinking everyone have an average reasoning power.

>you're stupid because you can't tell what I was thinking
You give me too little credit. I just reasoned that you're a woman.
Tits or GTFO.

Fuck you

Congratulations, you can now see the world through an objective eye.

Masculinity only brings burdens:
Pride, le honour which will only get you hurt or in trouble, ego and the list goes on.

There's a women live longer and are more likely to be college educated.

>can't use basic reasoning
>complains
>someone actually explains it
>still doesn't get it
>it takes more than one person to explain things for him to understand it
>still gets angry at other people
>tries to insult them
>l-lol ur a gurl
My bad, I didn't thought people raised by single mothers were so stupid

This image... DESU being a wage slave isn't that much better bro. Sometimes I reminisce about jacking off and playing vidya all day

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That's not a picture of your tiddies bb grl.

>college educated

this means nothing without knowing the major

Grow up.

What not to do: look to tv, movies, or popular culture for a masculine role model. That will get you a faux consumerist based parody of masculinity.

You're a man. Whatever you do IS masculinity. As long as you're not being a faggot of course. The world is against masculinity you know . But it is fine, you do not need to emulate anyone. You're fine the way you are user, try to forgive your father and move on with life. Follow your instincts.

>Is he to blame himself for not teaching himself to be a man?

Yes. There are many resources available to him, but he had decided those things take too much effort.

It'll be a long journey but that journey will be a part of what makes you a man if you see it through to the end. Read pic related. It will give you a good start on understanding masculinity. It's not a guidebook on how to become masculine but will help you understand it and how men relate to each other. Especially enlightening is the part that explains why strong men hate weak men so much. Leftist will try to dissuade you from reading it by using homophobia they assume you have will send you running away. Though the author is gay, he doesn't bring homosexuality into the discussion.

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You mean resources like asking people on Jow Forums? He's trying to get started. You're being a bucket crab.

>candy ass faggot
>teaching about masculinity

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don’t be salty user. on a personal level blaming your parents for your problems is unhealthy and will not solve anything. looking at the phenomenon of men raised by single mothers at a more epidemiological level is different, and it’s easy to see the causal link between the rise of single motherhood and the decline in the west.

>this super-low-effort method to "get started" is just as fine

Nope. Asking the beta losers on Jow Forums is just about the worst way to go about it. People like you coddle the inept and lazy.

That's okay user, it's not your fault to have a shitty mother and a shitty father. Still, you are responsible for your own life, so as long as you start being serious about it, you can become less of a loser and in the future you can even try to become a man.

His homosexuality informs the book in that his entire premise of masculinity doesn’t have anything to do with reproduction/fathering/dynastic vision.
Otherwise it’s not a bad book

People in ancient times were raised by mothers. Most of human history in fact.

Name one of these alleged resources that are better than asking bodybuilders so that I can utilize it and become a man without having asked any bodyb..
Oh, nvm.

Post body, fgt.

Good stuff user. I’d add one more: leave your mark. Whatever it is, you should leave the world a better place than you found it. Something like starting your own company, playing a role in an important mission, or even volunteering every Sunday. Do something in service to your fellow men.

Who the fuck gives a shit about bodybuilders? Retard.

I already did mention a resource that is far better than anything OP will read here. Marcus Aurelius.

Seems like you need a crutch to help be a man, as well.

As are almost all other living creatures

we're grouping europe together because you all have the same perspective towards America retard.

youtu.be/vxCm7JkpFt0

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>tfw dad is fat and came out a few years ago
>I’m also the youngest of four children with three older sisters
>beyond that my parents divorced and my dad was barely around
I got myself into lifting, decided to play sports (my dad didn’t encourage me at all with this), and push myself as a man all on my own accord. Perhaps some of it is overcompensation, but you need to take responsibility for you actions and fate.

You mentioned a resource which he can now use because he found out about it by asking a bodybuilding forum, yet you insist that he's wrong for asking said bodybuilding forum.
This makes no sense.

If I wasn't here, nobody would have mentioned it. The book is not some super secret tome, and OP could have easily found it himself as I also found it myself.

You make no sense. You think like a woman.

>If I wasn't here, nobody would have mentioned it.
>The book is not some super secret tome
Is masculinity when you contradict yourself at every turn?

You fail to recognize the laziness inherent in the forum. My statements are not inconsistent, because what OP lacks most of all is self-sufficiency. Being reliant on others to do even basic shit for you is the opposite of masculinity.

Kinda like how I have to explain this to you, yet again.

based stroke poster

I was going to mention Marcus and other stoic writings. I found out about them on an internet forum. It's not lazy or dependant to search for answers and you aren't the only one here who's worth a shit. Stop jerking yourself off.

I agree with this but I also wonder if OP has any other males in his life, like a based grandad or some uncles who can help him along

Be critical of any advice you may find here

I agree. There might be jews here.

there are a lot more differences between ancient cultures and modern times than the parenting model my dude. and the difference between being raised by your mother because your father is out farming/soldiering/trading/politicking and being raised by your mother because your father got kicked out or is a deadbeat is large.

this. When you learn to take responsibility for your own actions, and realize the outcome is in your own hands, you will be a man. There are guys out there who got the shit kicked out of them when they were kids by their father. And look, a lot of these guys turned into successful guys, maybe even good fathers. God speed user, we're all gonna make it.

> If …

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with wornout tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run –
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man my son!

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desu i think it's okay to blame the father if you feel it's justified

but don't play the victim, you recognize your faults and now you need to take steps to fix it

acknowledge the mistakes your father made but don't hold onto them

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..Are you saying that guys are in fact being fucked up by single mothers, but that the answer is for them to lie to themselves about this because it's unhealthy to blame your parents? Your post contradicts itself

the crabby ass guy here trying to shit on guys looking for some help unironically sounds like he didn't have a father figure

This. To blame somewone is to grant them power over your life.

No one book will provide everything you need.

Yes, until the boy child hit about 12 or 13 at which point the father and men of the tribe took over. They taught him how to be a man, put him through a rite of passage, and when he came back home was a man, outranking his mother in the home and in the tribe. Look at what spastic autists most boys of that age in the western world are today. Women parenting boys past puberty is a disaster.

-Lose your virginity.

Grew up without a dad here. Jusy because you didnt have a father figure doesnt mean yoj cant look up to someone and be a better man. If you really wanna learn something you will seek it out yourself instead of it just being bestowed on you.

get a job. having responsibilities and having people rely on you helps.

Masculinity in every culture for all time comes down to three things:
-Protect
-Provide
-Procreate
How a man does these things may have changed over the years, but the principles are just as true today as they were in antiquity.

Hey user, my father wasn't around and tried to kill my mom and I. She took me out camping, fishing etc and when Father's day comes around I give her a card and gift for it. It's gonna suck at first because you won't know what to do, where to look and how to start doing certain things. A lot of the retards here are just giving you bro advice like "you should know already" or something, but they don't understand and most people here are legitimate assholes.

Do research if you need to, don't be afraid to look things up. Our generation gets a lot of shit for not knowing how to do things despite being raised by people who would scream at or beat us if we did something too slow or wrong the first time. Just figure things out, try things. Spend time trying to solve problems on your own before looking for help. Don't get pissed off if it doesn't work the first time or if you fail at something. Most of us do, and so many successful people have gone through a lot of failures to get where they are.

The only thing I can really stress is don't fucking let minor pain, aches or feelings stop you from doing things. You will be in situations where you are unfomfortable your entire life and there will be dudes who will give up because they can't handle it. The ones who follow through and persevere are the ones who succeed. Obviously if its something that's going to cause a significant injury or kill you, then stop and reconsider.

I believe in you and I think you can figure this stuff out without a father. If I can there's literally no reason anyone else can't, unless they give up.

Learning to shave is a basic

>having no parents is better than only having a mother
Thanks for getting the point

Underappreciated post. I heard you user, and you're right.

I know how you feel user
>be white poorfag household
>father only stuck around for the first 8 years as an abusive asshole
>threw coffee tables at his children
>he only taught me how to deal with pain
>no internet, as soon as puberty rolled around I had to teach myself how to shave
>no parental figure to enforce discipline, had to teach myself as soon as I learned it was important
>still not as disciplined as I'd like to be
>no one to teach me how to fight, had to get my ass kicked a few times to catch the drift
>have absolute obsession with being manly to the point where I do stupid things to "build character"

we are all born into different circumstances and it's up to each of us to make the best of what we have. blaming your parents is a shortcut for not taking responsibility for the person you are. a real man, if there is such a thing, would first acknowledge the fact that his parents fucked him up, and then understand that if he doesn't strive and grow to move past that, that's his fault and not theirs

Sounds like she raised you well, user. Did she date other guys around you, or just tried to do her best? Did you have any other male role models growing up?

>tfw no dad to teach me to shave
>tfw shitty pube beard 13-20

>women are easier to educate
That explains everything actually

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Take estrogen pills and come to

>you should take responsibility

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Basrde aun strnkpulder

Honestly my male role models have either been actors, historical figures, or my peers (some who are my own age).

>Arnold
>Indiana Jones/Roy Chapman Andrews
>My rugby team captains

Find guys that are living the life you want and surround yourself with them and do what they do.

I feel the same. My father was a good man and a provider for the family, but he was never there for me. I went through some really tough times; losing all of my friends, being bullied, switching schools, being bullied worse, cystic acne and eczema making me look horrific, major depressive disorder, medications, dropping out of high school, long term unemployment afterwards, etc.

I've since gotten my GED and a job and started sorting things out for myself. My health is good now and I'm moving forward. But he was never there to lend advice or help me on any kind of personal level. I was the last to learn how to shave and did it myself giving me horrible razor burn as a kid, learned about sex on the internet, only learned how to throw a ball when a gym teacher in high school pulled me aside and taught me proper form, etc.

The only thing my dad was into that was a neat hobby was old cars. And when I tried to show interest in it, he'd just get me to hold a flashlight or hand sand a rusty part for him to spray off. Never taught me anything about mechanics like part installs, etc.

Now that I'm finally getting my shit together, he's showing support and interest for the first time and I feel somewhat resentful and want to distance myself from him because he wasn't there before. It's something I have to get over. It still hurts though. I don't think he ever wanted kids and only saw us as an expense growing up. And in turn, my mother over-protected me and didn't allow me to grow as a man should.

I'm not blaming all of my problems on my parents, but a male role model is hugely important for a young man. And a overly-active nurturing mother in replacement just worsens it's effect.

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this is some of the cringiest bad advice I've seen on youtube.

Yikes. You might have been the one dropped as a baby.

>DUDE
>STOICISM

Reading a philosophy book won't fix your shit personality and lack of values that originated from lack of a father figure and shit american parenting. Stop peddling this shit book to every incel who cries for attention.

This is the 'red pill' OP: The only way to change yourself is by surrounding yourself with people who you want to eventually become.
Reading books and retarded "infographics" about "the art of not caring" won't do shit for you.

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