>be me
>running on treadmill
>forgot my earbuds so I'm just watching the small TV
>there's no sound though
>it gets boring so I start making up voicelines in my head
>slowly getting good at this
>accidentally achieve perfect comedic timing
>start laughing out loud
>everyone gives me the "Did that retard just laugh at a muted nazi documentary" look
Autistic things you did at the gym
Mason Mitchell
Connor Peterson
Why didn't you laugh even harder?
Easton Cook
fucking lold, would have befriended you if I was at your gym
Christian Hill
that's pretty funny op. that sort of mental practice is high tier brain gainz, keep it up.
>at gym
>never talk to anyone ever, don't know a lot about interaction, actual autism, all's good
>guy asks me to spot him
>noobie at this point still, didn't know what he meant, thought he was asking about his location
>just point at him and say "You're right here. At the gym."
>leave
>figured out what he meant later that month when I overheard him asking someone else to spot him and they got behind the weight rack
Eli Parker
>just finished on the treadmill, a bit light headed
>guy walks over, says 'hi, user'
>shit, I don't recognise him
>say hi anyway
>ask him how he's doing
>admit I have forgotten his name
>after a couple of minutes of conversation, realise he doesn't even know me
>he was saying hi to the gym owner who has the same name as me
Logan Clark
>doing squats
>last rep
>imagine myself sinking down into the manlet pit
>picture it like the prison in TDKR
>at the bottom of the squat, say 'rise' in Tom Hardy's voice
>imagine lifting myself out of manlet status, becoming a big guy
>blissful feeling
>complete lift
>rack weights
>come back to reality, remember that I am still Tom Hardy IRL height
>shake my head, chuckle, say 'when will I learn'
>people look at me
Elijah Walker
I tried to cure my social anxiety by jacking off in the locker room and then immediately going to lift right after while the gym was crowded. Didn’t work.
Eli Turner
>just point at him and say "You're right here. At the gym."
Kevin Harris
Between working sets I basically go into an autistic meditation where I sit on the floor in the rack with my eyes closed and head low just clearing my mind
I then put headphones in during the set and always try to sync the lift to the drop of Rules Of Nature.
Elijah Lewis
Holy shit I did this too
James Young
>webm related
Lincoln Evans
Guy probably thought you were fucking with him.
Good laf though
Cameron Anderson
This is hilarious, but it's more like the opposite of autism. The fact you were able to get a discussion going while you try to figure out who the fuck he was shows some strong social skills.
Joshua Watson
Don’t even know who that cunt is
Now die
Lucas Robinson
And your gains shall be cursed forever
Nathan Smith
When I was still in uni I had to do this constantly because I cannot remember faces to save my fucking life
Jack Johnson
i hope you and your mother die of cancer
Eli Wilson
>just point at him and say "You're right here. At the gym."
Caleb Baker
hahahaha that's fucking hilarious dude, not even in a cringe way thats just funny bro
David Watson
>just point at him and say "You're right here. At the gym."
Justin Clark
This thread is already gold
Christian Peterson
>Go to the toilets and take a piss
>Get in a stall and drop a "silent but deadly" fart while pissing
>Cutie receptionist was cleaning the toilets
>Have some chitchat with the cutie for a couple of minutes
>Leave to start my workout
>See her entering the stall I was in
>She coughs a bit and blasts the place with deodorizer
Did I mess up?
Wyatt Baker
Oliver Taylor
FUCK MY SIDES
Christopher Butler
She's allowed what was born from withing the bowels of your body to enter her own. That's quite an intimate thing if you think about it. Go for it bro.
Xavier Perry
I haven’t laughed this hard all day, thanks user
Jackson Morgan
>accidentally get in some old guy's way
>he says "how are you"
>was expecting "sorry" or "excuse me" or something
>gives me a smirk
>conclude that we must know each other from somewhere
>bellow "HEY MAN I'M GOOD I DIDN'T EVEN RECOGNISE YOU HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU?"
>he just nods and moves around me
>afterwards he's talking with someone else, other guy says I'm just tweaking
Jason Anderson
Hunter Moore
This shit got me
Julian Martin
I said good morning to the receptionist and responded with "good" when she said good morning back. Fuck man how am I supposed to show up tommorow
Joshua Hernandez
>run across my crush at work
>hi user how are you going?
>i respond "how are you going?"
>then walk away
Brandon Stewart
This was pretty bad, happened last week
>On stairmaster, 30ish minutes into a 45 minute session
>Watching television and a hot cardio bunny comes up and says "you're looking great babe keep it up"
>Panic, years of reading shitty pick up artist books and articles plus crippling social anxiety has rotted my brain and all converges into me blurting out (loudly)
>"haha thanks babe, keep working out and maybe you one day can get on this level up here"
>Looks at me weird
>Realize she was talking to her boyfriend next to me
>Dude looks like a felon
>Let's dig the hole deeper
>"I knew you were talking to him, I was trying to make it awkward"
>She walks away halfway through my explanation
Haven't been back since
Noah Torres
>it gets boring so I start making up voicelines in my head
>slowly getting good at this
>accidentally achieve perfect comedic timing
You could make big bucks with this believe or not on jewtube
Jason Richardson
face blindness is a symptom of autism
Carson Barnes
Ain't that the truth
Jaxon Peterson
Someone please draw this.
Jason Smith
>final set of the day
>just as I finished dude approached asking if I could help him tighten his knee wraps
>say yes
>after I finish I straight up picked my bag and leave the gym
>didn't even bother to nod to the dude or hear his thanks
>realize my mistake as I'm out the door
>look back to see the dude asking another guy for help since I only tightened one of his knees lol
Christopher Walker
>nobody around
>lightly punch concrete hoping I can into monk microfractures
dammit I even cringed while I was doing it, but I still did it
Carson Foster
>How are you going
Jaxson Cox
>"I knew you were talking to him, I was trying to make it awkward"
Julian Campbell
I didn’t think it could get worse from >Realize she was talking to her boyfriend
Jose Evans
Good shit.
Justin Reed
>do mma
>at gym
>two interns sparring
>ones getting the better of the other
>”hey he has a fight in a week”
>me to guy who is getting a 3 piece and soda
>”you got a fight?”
>”well don’t”
>feel like asshole when I realized how that may have sounded
I been training longer then both and I didn’t mean it in a rude way.
Eli Kelly
>tfw have still somehow managed to avoid unironically saying "y-you too" when the qt receptionist tells me to have a good workout
Luis Hughes
>"I knew you were talking to him, I was trying to make it awkward"
I mean this is fucking terrible but you didn't get beat up, so good job. Go back, you know they've forgotten who you are.
Isaac Johnson
>see gym bunny about to finish treadmill
>sense gym bunmy is about to menstruate
>my penis is already erect
>spring to action as treadmill comes to a stop
>bash her over the head with a dumbbell
>I lean over to her now bloodied face and whisper "if brappy so good, why it sin?"
Jace Jackson
Kill yourself
Brandon Sanchez
>lowbar a2g squat day
>4pl8s im great at these
>last rep of muh last set
>to failure btw
>start thinking about progress
>how far I’ve come
>what people say about me
>push up and my mind explodes
>heart does too
>sob for like 5 secs over the bar
Carter Carter
Fucking kek
Christopher Baker
Deserves it for cleaning when patrons are using the bathroom.
Leo Garcia
Top kek at least you followed through
Michael Young
Geniune kek, nice my friend
Gabriel Cruz
Cooper Green
GOLD
Logan Carter
you ruined a perfectly good thread you dumb nigger
Josiah Price
i do that too.
Charles Green
she's cleaning a toilet bro, what do you think she expects?
Ian Flores
I don't take internet diagnoses seriously
Liam Ramirez
this, op you seem like a total lad
Luis Miller
this gives me a strange combination of pain in my chest and laughter. not cringe but more like anxiety
Jaxson Reed
based strokeboxer
Austin Green
this is quintessential autism, not even memeing here.
Julian Butler
At least now all the gym patrons will never ask you for favors
Christian Powell
I realise I'm only attractive while my mouth is open if I'm smiling, so I grin like 90% of my workout, 95% if I'm doing cardio
Sebastian Adams
Not gym related but fuck it, it has to do with a Nazi documentary
>At work at my college job
>Have to test 10 DVD players to see if they still work
>Go to the school library
>Ask for a random DVD to test with
>Leave in a hurry so I'll have more time to study later
>Once I get to the learning commons I realize my mistake
>They gave me Triumph of the Will
>Only TV to test it on is a big flat screen visible by the whole center
>Every time I put in the DVD a Nazi flag covers the whole screen
>Receive many concerning looks from the student body
>Once I'm done I get out of dodge
I may have unintentionally revealed my power level in the eyes of the students there but at least I aced that test
Logan Sullivan
topkek
Luke Bell
wait were you just talking at him when he was actively having a conversation with someone else?
Grayson Kelly
HOly shit.
If someone did that to me he’d instantly turn into Chad in my mind.
Owen Wilson
>Not sitting down and doing lifts while watching Uncle Adolf screech autistically
Dominic Howard
made me kek audible in the sub
Matthew Mitchell
Some guy at the gym was using a rack to do those bodyweight rows where the bar is close to the ground. A literal dwarf at the gym wanted to correct his form so he went and tried to do the rows but his dwarf arms couldn't reach the bar. I audibly chuckled.
Anthony Martinez
based and redpilled
Isaac Harris
>You're right here. At the gym.
Jack Bell
>when will I learn
Joseph Morris
>You're right here. At the gym.
Joseph Bennett
>getting new membership at gym
>talk to girl while she makes membership
>small talk
>i ask how long u been working her
>she says she owns the gym
>i ask so does that mean you get a free membership Or how does that work?
>yeah
>if i owned the gym i would pay for my membership so people dont get mad at me
>why would people be mad?
>because they think youre better than them with your free membership
>why dont you open a gym and do that then?
>i do have a gym in my basement if yoh get a basement membership i will be paying for mine as well
Oh the look on her face
Hunter Barnes
you literally have autism holy shit.
welcome to the club, faggot.
Bentley Powell
Based stroke poster
Nathaniel Torres
Jesus fucking Christ user, that is the most vile disgusting hilarious cringey thing I’ve ever heard. Please kys.
Bentley Price
i literally guarentee i could open pic related with my own two hands. shit looks like its made of cardboard
Jace Bell
>screech autistically
the speeches in Triumph of the Will are fucking top tier, I have watched it 3-5 times and I get goosebumps every time
>Before us lies Germany! In us, Germany marches! Behind us, Germany follows!
Luke Torres
This happened yesterday:
>back day
Come into gym, thank God it was open on idependance day. Had to wait a bit but okay.
Phone died, only 7 percent from using it at work.
>fuck
>Do workout. Shitty music kills my mindset and fucks my concentration and lifts.
>getting angry, too many people crowded and losing my shit
>look like I was a skizo without pain meds.
>After done with pullovers don't have any idea what to do next.
>now looking confused as shit
>run out
Although, I did see a guy that used nunchucks as a racket for racquetball so that was pretty cool.
Cooper Moore
Adrian Russell
>Everyone gives me the look
Because everyone is an NPC without a shred of personality and humor or banter. God damn I hate normies so much.
Christian Perez
Why do you keep making yourself uncomfortable?
Just go in, work out, go out. Don't try to be witty, don't do one liners. They are always cringe.
Someone asks you for something? Say ok, do the thing, go away without saying anything else. You don't have to force yourself to be social. It's all a stupid meme
Kevin Perez
>You're right here. At the gym.
Pic related, it is what you looked like in that dudes mind at that moment.
Michael Cook
>Bodybuilder at my gym sees me go from a fatass to an amateur bodybuilder in a year.
>Never spoken to him before.
>He comes up to me one day and offers a handshake.
>I assume since hes colored that he was reaching out for a first bump.
>hes confused and switched to a fist bump
>I then realized he wanted a hand shake and changed as well
>awkward state
>he pats me on the shoulder and never a word was spoken then or since
Does anyone else have a problem staring at people's hands during hand shakes or first bumps instead of their face?
Daniel Rodriguez
Best in the thread
James Kelly
Carson Gray
Christopher Powell
Lmfao what is this a larp
Ryan Cooper
Lmao no it’s not, I tried multiple times
Kayden Ortiz
Absolutely based.
Oliver Long
I have no idea what I just read
Jackson Collins
>basement membership
Jonathan Nguyen
Maximus Kekus
Jaxon Cruz
Jesus Christ user, I'm at work and I can't stop laughing after reading this post.
Asher Clark
not the guy you responded to but i used to rub one out before squatting for some reason. i thought it was making me stronger.
Leo Moore
When someone starts putting their hand out I force my brain to keep my hands still, let whatever they're doing hang in the air for a second, look down at it, make some sort of quick face that conveys "oh you got your hand out I didn't notice", reach out and do whatever they're holding their hand up as, look up smile and do a slight nod.
If I put up the wrong hand thing I force myself to keep it that way, they always change to it.
Connor Rogers
Took an uber to Pick-Up my motorcycle from the mechanic. Driver noticed the helmet in my hands. Extends his arm to the backseat while driving. Him being a gentleman of color so I fist bumped him. He looks back at me and tells me he was showing me his tattoo of motorcycle on his forearm.