I have failed to form bonds in my teenager years and I was a fat "intellectual" lardass aswell. I have managed to unfuck my shit up, but I am still hurt about how everyone had turned their back on me, ever since I was a child. I always felt like a spectator, an outsider, "the third". I just cannot forgive people, I feel like I've been robbed from the most basic experiences of life. Therefore, I have decided to lose my virginity to an escort. No amount of self-improvement (regarding looks), have filled the void within me. Yes, I do get mired from time to times, but I am paranoid and I cut contacts as soon as anyone gets "near" me. I have only two weeks left as a virgin, I can only hope, that god forgives me.
On the plus side, realize it's all sort of a biological status calculation. There's nothing special about you that's pushing people away, or making you less popular. It's just social status. You're not attractive enough (yet), you're not charismatic enough (yet), you don't dress well enough (yet), your opinion doesn't mean much (yet).
All of these things can be improved, and thus the status calculators in the minds of others will reset you to a better position. You have to drop the chip on your shoulder about being a special antisocial snowflake. If you can't get laid there's serious social leveling-up you need to do.
Brayden Johnson
Considering my parents have divorced, I have went to middle-class to a low-class person pretty fast. So you are right about social status. However, my life turned out to be good financially and I am living alone aswell. Well, I could do fuckall with attractiveness, if my mother had spent all her money on herself. But to avoid blog writing. My main problem is that I cannot maintain relationships with anyone, because I am furiously trying to destroy my past, to avoid reliving my traumas.
Forgetting forgiving and just accept that that's it. Only way you can move on with your life is if you let go of all this bitterness.
Evan Hughes
from middle-class I mean.
Samuel Hughes
Stop blaming other people for your problems.
>I am furiously trying to destroy my past, to avoid reliving my traumas
You need to meditate and form a version of yourself in your mind that doesn't have to do that dumb shit. You have a limited time on this earth user, do you really wanna spend it wallowing around like a weak little pussboy? All of that baggage is in your head. Realize that the only one that's going to save you is you. Realize that the only thing in this universe that has the power to correct your current trajectory is you. Take the burden upon your shoulders (not your mothers, not your upbringing) and carry it.
Caleb Phillips
Might sound a little bit edgy, but the bitterness itself was the factor of my motivation to lose weight for example. Whenever I had a goal in my mind, I was always coping with a (false?) sense of superiority over other people. You might also think that. It wasn't fate nor the people who have robbed me from happiness, but me. Because I had to put myself up on a pedestal, to cope with the haunting void in my soul.
Ryan Wood
this reads like an r9k post bro Jow Forums is for sick cunts and sick cunts in the making, not sad cunts sort yourself out or hand in your membership card
Ethan Phillips
thats so fucking easy to say. "just dont do the bad stuff. there, done!" kys nigger
Carter Gutierrez
But how do I connect with people? Whenever I open up to someone, they just bite in my hand. I feel like friends are not friends anymore, nor marriages and relationships are "serious and strict" in this society. Considering a person has a lot of ways to fuck the other one over. I just cannot trust in anybody, I don't want to relive my traumas again.
There's both good and bad in this world; seems like you are focusing on the bad, like I used to do. My solution was finding God but whatever you do it takes HARD WORK both mental and physical and cutting your ego down to size. You are blaming others and first solution is spirituality/God
William Jenkins
Look. From your writing style, you seem like the "socially unaware but deadpan serious" type. No one wants to be around that. You need to learn to enjoy relationships as ethereal and fleeting, not permanent structures. Treat your relationships like enjoyable flings, because that's what they are. If you expect people to be consistent and loyal you're setting your entire life up for failure. People aren't like that.
Ryder Perez
>the past is done >there is only forward be a bloomer, not a doomer user we're all in this together
Hookers aim to injure the genitalia and have children with people they think are well off. It's not worth it because they every disease most of the time and hooker illnesses are harder to over come
Gavin Green
>If you expect people to be consistent and loyal you're setting your entire life up for failure. People aren't like that. THEN WHATS THE POINT OF FUCKING LIVING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
The vast majority of teenagers feel the exact same "outsider" feeling. That's why so much of the music which is written to appeal to them directly is about that feeling. It's a bone-stock, standard-issue, universal feeling that's part of growing up.
>I just cannot forgive people No. What you've failed to do is get over yourself, and let go of the "it's because I'm different and special somehow" ego-defense-mechanism that every teenager who feels the exact same way clings to for a time as a cope. You push people away because bonding with people threatens your ego, threatens that part of you that clings to loneliness of proof of some kind of nebulous quality that's supposed to be special about you.
Nobody took anything from you. Nobody robbed you but your own ego. Let go of your pathological self-image once and for all and you'll be set free.
I spent 3 days at rock bottom, no friends for support. I came here and vented my grief a few times and came to accept it with the kind words of a few of you good blokes.
Just wanted to say thanks for being there for a stranger. We're all gunna make it
Robert Garcia
I am aware of this, but how do I do this? Ever since my best friend had killed himself, I have always felt like humanity/life/fate (or whatever you call it) had took him away from me. He was the only person I have genuinely loved. I don't want to form a closer bond with someone just to watch him/her bite in my hand and disappearing forever.
Sorry you feel this way user but you're not owed anything in this life, everything you want you must take for yourself just like getting a gf, friends, etc. Best thing you could do is move on and start living again in the present. Good luck.
Elijah Nguyen
The healing starts when you stop projecting all of your doubt and fear outward onto other people, and just assuming your trepidation comes from some kind of observation you've made about how awful they are. You even admit openly that you don't even know them in any meaningful way at all, but you still give yourself free license to cast broad judgment on them and disparage them with deep insults about how they're just shallow/backstabbers/etc. It's absurd. The only logical explanation for these conclusions you've come to in your head is your own ego, not any actual knowledge that you've gained from paying any real attention to your fellow man.
>how do I do this? By accepting responsibility for your own mean-spirited judgments and negative feelings. I say this with genuine hope that you'll get better: You're lonely because you've been acting like an asshole, writing people off as ten different kinds of nasty when you don't even know them. These are all baseless, fucked up insults you're sending their way but you're not even assessing them as such because you're keeping them to yourself. Think about how much of a crazy dickhead you'd sound like if you walked around telling people what you think about them. Actually pay attention to *them* for once, instead of reserving all of your attention for your own spiraling paranoid thoughts.
Luis Gray
Sounds totally reasonable and all, but people tend to cause harm and pain to me ever since I am conscious. How could I become stronger than them mentally? So I could just have fun and fuck around and stuff.
