Guys, I know if I don't fix this soon, it's a ticking time bomb. How do I learn to stop being a scared pushover when it comes to confrontation, especially physical one, like a fight or brawl?
I am not a manlet or a skelly, obviously I'm not big yet but I'm sure I would be able to hurt someone in a fight, however I live with a coward's heart, the second someone starts raising their voice or acting aggresive, my knees get soft and my throat gets tight.
I never fucking learned how to stand up for mysellf, and the point is, not being scared faggot often helps you avoid the fights, because people don't see you no longer as a prey. You might know the allegory, of the kid who doesn't want to fight, will be the first to leave with a black eye. I've seen people half my size have bigger balls than me, and I'm embarrassed and the shame afterwards is depressing and hard to bear.
Not surprisingly, it influences other parts of life, being a pushover is fucking miserable.
Should I have been a gang member at 15 or a night club bouncer at 18 or fucking what. What do I do now?
>How do I learn to stop being a scared pushover when it comes to confrontation, especially physical one, like a fight or brawl? What are you 12? Fighting as an adult can lead to serious injury, death, or prison time.
Carter Martin
Take up a martial art where you'll have to spar.
Jayden Gomez
well yes, but as I wrote, often just the attitude showing that you will be ready to fight is enough to make someone step back, also there is a huge difference between choosing not to fight consciously and avoiding fight at all costs because you're scared
Thomas Howard
You lack confidence, not ability/willingness to fight. it starts the same way as fitness journey. Try to improve little by little, speak your mind, stand your ground and try to not make anyone persuade you to his opinion. Some therapy might also be an option.
Isaiah Lopez
Fighting is for low life 80 IQ retards. But you have a confidence problem. Lifting didn’t do shit for my pussy game but it certainly helped me a lot with those social interactions with low confidence wannabe tough guys. I’m not big either. Just a lmao2pl8 squatter. An example from the top of my head: I was at a bar a few weeks ago and our table needed another stool. I walked over to a bunch of metalheads and asked if he needs that one. He had that “tough guy“ look in his eyes and said: “yeah that’ll be 30 bucks then“, obviously looking to start shit or mimic being hardcore. I looked him straight in the eyes and calmly told him “mate I won’t give you jack shit. I’m asking you nicely if you need this“. As soon as I said that, he gave me a pat on the shoulder and his tough guy look completely vanished. For most of you, that’s a normal conversation but thinking back a few years ago I would’ve either backed down like a pussy or went fake-confidence apeshit like “fuck u jus said“ and then get beat up. When I talked to him, I didn’t have the slightest bit of aggression in my voice. I was polite, but also confident and that subconsciously made him realize I might not be a guy to fuck with after all. Lifting does that to you. You carry yourself differently after some time because you know you’re worthy of respect. Not fear, just well deserved respect.
Ethan Reed
You need to get your shit pushed in hard a few times, eventually you will get up ready for another one just after you fell. Nowadays you can have these experiences through fighting sports or similar, no need to get crazy and start fights with strangers which might be armed or dangerous.
Of course, if you has grown up in a place where you either do that it get thrown aside you would have ingrained it. Your father failed you nonetheless, you have been raised and been surrounded by women while growing up most likely. Also watch the scene in Master Commander where Russell Crowe calls his second-man to the cabin of the ship after the tripulation disrespected him. It exemplifies both of the two postures of being in the world you spoke of.
I don’t mean any of this as a lecture. I’ve struggled with the same problems while an young adult and managed to overcome in part.
Luis Martinez
I recently started being less of a bitch, it's very hard and I slip up at times but it's very rewarding when some nigger shuts up. My advice to you is to never wait for the right time to speak up (if something bothers you, just stand up and talk with whoever is responsible). My second tip is to take a breath before talking or you will fuck up whatever you are going to say. And third, it's not about fighting (last thing you want is to go to jail or have I fine) that means you should cuss at retards just the other day some nigger was hearing loud nigger music in the bus when he didn't stoped after I asked I didn't say "fuck you" I said do you want me to take you out of the bus ? Also the best way to offend public workers without drawing attention is to grab your balls and thrust them as in a "screw you wagie" fashion. Please don't fuck up I believe in you user, I did it while being a dyel manlet, you can do it too
>“yeah that’ll be 30 bucks then“ >Autistic user can't understand bants What in the fuck
Camden Taylor
yea, as an adult you'll probably have to fight 2 or 3 times in your life. I'd prefer to be the one standing though, not the one with the bloody face. Also, some of us practice martial arts because we actually like doing that (it's way better cardio to roll or hit a bag instead of running), not to start bar fights. Retard
Jace Cook
how did you overcome it? Martial arts? Well I grew up in mostly male house, I'm a middle child with 2 brothers. My older brother is 5 years older then me, as kids we used to fight a lot, the problem is I always knew I couldn't fucking stand up to him because he was bigger, being a lanklet for most of child/teenage years didn't help either. I don't know whether it's coming from there, but I knew any physical confrontation with him is a loss before it starts, not that those were ever serious or for any real harm.
My father is far from onions boy, but it's true that he never taught me that kind of stuff, I don't know, he probably just wanted me to stay out of trouble.
I remember reading some memo from Mexican gangster, where he said that if you ran home crying after fighting as a child, your older brothers whooped your ass even more, therefore you had to prove yourself regardless. Somwhere else I read about someone running home crying, and his mother told him to grab the biggest rock and hit the motherfucker back. Well I'm from a white middle-income family, when my mom saw me fighting outside, she yelled at me to come home and asked if everything is right, no reason to blame her
Exactly my thought. He should have replied something like “Sure mate, send me the bill” and just taken the stool.
Joshua Wilson
Mate I won't take your shit. I'm asking you nicely to delete your post.
Jacob Green
OP, you cannot learn that, it's an instinct. Like, if someone acts towards me, my blood just boils and I see red... Fight or flight, OP.
Robert Jenkins
Lel, you are some goblin basement dweller right ?
Jackson Allen
You can just take MMA or BJJ. It will boost your confidence and willingness to fight people because you would actually know that you can handle yourself against untrained individuals (99% of people).
Justin Wright
>I'm sure I would be able to hurt someone in a fight Nope. If you were able to you wouldn't have to wonder. Go join a boxing gym. The difference will be night and day because you'll KNOW what you're capable of.
Blake Cruz
don't leave me so hopeless user, you think I wanna live the rest of my life as a scared bitch
Ethan Scott
I meant that I am built enough to cause harm, it's just no use whe you're frozen with fear
Ryder Jenkins
>don't leave me so hopeless user, you think I wanna live the rest of my life as a scared bitch OP, I am scared of heights... I am a bitch about that. Just get huge so no one wants to confront you.
Grayson White
Unironically tell yourself you are THAT NIGGA
Jaxson Flores
Start meditating, take up a non meme martial art and stick with it (boxing’s fun but whatever makes you happy), and masturbate only once every seven days.
Tyler Powell
>Lel, you are some goblin basement dweller right ? No, user... Just high test. I am a grown-ass man, wife and kids, career, been to 30+ countries, in excellent shape for my age.
Luis Parker
i entered medical school and the constant pressure forced me to adapt (from dealing to colleagues to dealing with patients) also travelled through europe for half a year with only 200 euros. had to get jobs working in construction in Switzerland, as a waiter in Italy and so on still far from being "though" in any way tho
Mason Perry
>grown-ass man >not grown ass-man never gonna make it
Jackson Lee
Learning boxing
You only stop being scared when you feel physically safe
