Fat autist still living at home

I wrote this of another user in a black pill threat, but it 404'd ans I'm drunk and need to post it somewhere. Believe user:

>there's no memorable and fond experiences yet to come
Sure, you might have missed out on a few things, but life keeps on giving. I'm a rather ambitious person, so I'm not sure if you relate to this or not, but you've got to work towards your goals and have your eyes set on the future or else you'll miss out on even more. Don't let your past mistakes hold you back, accept them, put in the extra effort and get back on track. You've missed out on jack-shit compared to what comes next. Your career, your hobbies, getting a girlfriend, losing her and getting a better one. Marrying her, having a child. Guiding them through life while also progressing in your profession.

I for one can't wait to become a boomer dad who scares off his daughter's wannabe boyfriend. It's 20 years away, but it's coming because I'm working towards it.

Go out by yourself, get drunk and meet people. Go make that YouTube channel. Join a D&D club. Work that job you WANT to, regardless of what your family and friends think. They don't believe in you? Prove them wrong! You don't believe in yourself? Prove that asshole wrong too, become the you you want to be. Be the best you you can be. Stop comparing yourself to others, you'll never be them. You'll never beat some of them in certain areas, but you'll beat others in different areas.

I'm not there yet, but if I beat you to the finish line, I'll wait up - so we can all make it together

Pretend that you play a sport instead to get fit.

How old are you?
Do you only work a shift or two a week or what?

What is their explaination? I know the uncomfortable feeling of always having to justify every motive for starting to see food as calculated intake not as a source of euphoria in house where obesity is the norm but do you negelect other duties when you`re going to the gym or what is the deal?

> Last time she got mad at me for doing any sort of exercise.
bro, move out from them if u got the job, and start doing whatever you want.
I moved out from my mother when i was 19 just beacuse i had opportunity and never I never Regret that even tho it wasnt easy, but putting myself in deep water out of nothing was good experience even if it wasnt easy

They think that I'm going to hurt myself weightlifting and they tell me that I have a bad back.

I used to have back pain issues occasionally (nothing serious) before I started lifting, but lifting has actually resolved them and I never have them anymore.

Also, my mother thinks protein powder is steroids..

Don't let your parents control you. Tell your fat parents to stop buying sodas.

Based whitepill user.

>parents not respecting your desire to exercise and improve yourself
Honestly, in such a situation, I'd just move out. I too live with my parents, but they are Jow Forums as well and respect my choices, so it's a non-issue.

I would probably get the results on your back approved by a doctor then this argument would be off the table in a logical sense but I guess there is no treatment for stubborness. Is your protein powder any fancy stuff with synthetic amino acids or something?

Ofc they don't, hes just a delusional lazy fat fuck who wanted to cry and get some attention
No parents are this retarded, even for American standards

Have you tried a lead-based diet, you piece of shit?

I guess you're right about the back. I just don't have any problems now and haven't for years.

My protein is just ON one. Nothing crazy, my mother just doesn't understand what it is.

OP this is your rad chad uncle speaking
don't exercise I REPEAT do not exercise
you had a heart condition every since you were a baby but your parents never told you because they are little bitches that are afraid you would leave them if you found out, at least that's the only way I can rationalize it.
A few months after you were born. I was visiting the town then your mother called me saying she couldn't get a hold of your father and she needed someone to help her take the baby to the hospital. When I got there your father had already arrived and took you to the hospital. The next day he told me It was nothing.
>Pretty fucking suspicious.
I also searched your body when they weren't looking a few days later, they're pretty protective back then. I found a scar near your heart or on your heart.
>when you have the time get a full body checkup to see what they did to you.

Attached: chad.jpg (533x632, 89K)

aren't there cases of hermaphrodites where the parents choose their kids gender and try to hide it from them?
What if OP is actually a cute girl inside and his parents are fatting him up so he stays a guy

No, they're just lardasses who get mad.
My mother is so fat she has had three bypasses, has trouble climbing the stairs, and recently got diagnosed with diabetes. She makes fun of my weight but scoffs at the idea of me doing anything to improve myself.
My father constantly says we should eat healthier but only ever buys microwave meals and sodas.
I'm going to do what the other guy suggested, pushups and whatever 3x12 is, then I'll.
Problem is I've never done pushups, so I don't know how to do them properly. I feel like they're too easy so I must be doing something wrong.

Ok I don't have weights so I can't do the 3x12 because apparently that has to do with weights.
I'll try the pushups though. I'll try to do like thirty and then I'll bike for an hour or so.

3 sets 12 reps start a set every 3 minutes

>I feel like they're too easy so I must be doing something wrong.

I guess that is a good sign. Just keep your legs together your back straight and push with your arms placed as wide as your shoulders.

also find 2 chairs and try to do dips. If you can't do dips it's okay, just do the negative part. This exercise is better the heavier you are because theres more resistance.

Attached: dips.jpg (225x225, 12K)

Ok, they weren't easy as I remember. I've done about twenty pushups now, though I can't do more than 5 before flopping to the ground and stopping for five minutes.
Also I can't really get down low to the ground, I feel like my arms can't angle enough for me to do that.

Apparently I wasn't doing them properly. No part of your body except the feet at hands are supposed to touch the ground, especially not your knees or stomach. So technically I haven't done more than, say, 2 in a single set.

I just can't even tell if my back is straight or not. It never is, I have a weird spine. Ig I try to adjust it so that my stomach doesn't sag and is parallel to the ground I can't do a single one. They really are not easy. My arms are still wrecked though.
I'm just going to bike for an hour while they recuperate. I can barely hold them up as it is.

Then I guess we have to start from a wall. Find out what you are capable of to reach your limit in the 6-12 rep range. What weight on which height are we talking about? Answer preferred in metric units if possible.

Attached: Wall Pushups.png (1160x653, 323K)

165cm, 73kg

That`s not too bad I started from 160kg on 188cm 7 years ago. Do you have a calculator in reach? We will now estimate how many calories you will burn. First your basic daily need meaning the calories you burn without doing anything: (10xWeight in kg)+ (6,25 x Height in cm) - (5xAge) +5=?

Next what is your work like do you sit in office or do you have a lot of physical activity in your work day?

Start by growing some nuts you irresponsible fat fuck

1646.
No, I work an office job.

Holy shit guys let's help this guy .

So for starters you need a drive to change and change bad habits.

Here are my advice

>Practice body weight fitness you can do it at home or whatever check Jow Forumsbwf on Reddit and look for a starter program (RR)

>this is 90% success , be consistent
It might take a year or more but compare yourself to a month ago not to others.
>Learn how to make the most basic stirfry for muscles gain (eggs , meat , onions , beans , any veggies , some seasonings , it's really easy.

If you have a calisthenics park bear your house go there and don't be shy , ask the people there for advice , they are nice and will be glad to help you without looking down on you (and even motivate you )

Stop drinking sweet drinks or at least they to cut them off , keep water bottles at the fridge and use them

Attached: 1554838631098.jpg (575x523, 37K)

>still too fat and weak to do one (1) incline push up

Attached: 1550469549244.gif (633x758, 15K)

you need an invite to join Jow Forumsbwf

he means Jow Forumsbodyweightfitness

Ok for just an office job you can take this number x1,2
So when you`re detemined to train and have at least 36 minutes in your schedule 3 times a week we can estimate 1646x1,5 =2469 calories.

Next step is to build a programme. You already have a done a push excercise with pushups so today is your push day we figure out what to do in your room getting to 12 sets in total. Is:

an option?

I think I could try dips. I'm sure I can find some place to do them, in my basement or something.

Ok dips will be the last excercise two more to go or figure out first if you have to do negatives to do 6-12reps dips then we`ll figure out if you could also include bench or tricepsdips.

Attached: Bench or Tricepsdip.jpg (1024x495, 59K)

have you tried actually explaining the difference between whey (dried milk isolate) and steroids (molecules your balls produce so your body knows to build muscle and produce other masculine effects)? Bring up wikipedia articles and stuff if you have to.

I have a stepladder I can use to do shit. I think I could use it to do bench.
Dips I'll have to do between desks, chairs are just going to topple over.

I used to do them between desks with a loaded backpack on my back, when mom wasnt home (this was back in 10th grade lol). I got pretty good results on my chest and triceps from doing that

So what am I supposed to do now?
I've done pushups today. Also biked for an hour or so, probably will do so again today.

alternate between bodyweight training one day and cardio on the other and have 1 rest day per week. It doesn't really matter the sets and reps, just aim to do more and better than you did last time

>Dips I'll have to do between desks, chairs are just going to topple over.

Already thought that this could be the case. My idea for your second excercise would be the mountain climber to build some core stability to get into real pushups and variations later. You start in Pushup position then step with right leg towards your chest hold the position like 2 seconds then take the left leg and put the right back. Adjust the time your holding the position to the amount that your maximum is reached between 6-12 reps in the 3rd set.

Attached: Mountain Climber.jpg (500x333, 17K)

just so I'm sure I understand, walking/running/biking one day and pushups/dips/benching the other?

I'll try to make an excel spreadsheet to keep track. I'll also see if I can't purchase a bunch of cheap weights to try lifting.

CICO
you can still ration 1000 calories of junk food

Nice excuses.

No, one day push excercises,one day legs,one day pull and when you`re still motivated cardio inbetween.

You need to explain to me what a rep and a set is.
I don't know a single thing about fitness lingo.
Which exercises constitute push excercises?
Which exercices constitute leg exercises?
Which exercises constitute pull exercises?

Is biking/running/walking cardio?

I'll see you at the finish line user. We're gonna make it.

CICO. Drink water only. Ration the junk food so you eat as little as possible.

Don't eat when parents aren't around i.e. fast.

Look at the fasting thread to know how to do it.

Don't eat during work.

Ok rep stands for Repition the number how many times you do the excercise in a set. A set is how often you start Repitions of a excercise.

>36 minutes
>12 sets in total

That means you would have to do
3x12 Pushups
3x12 Mountain Climber
3x12 ????
3x12 Tricepsdips

You start with Pushups until 12 Repitions or failure at minute 0:00 from your workout. start doing Pushups again on minute 3:00 then Pushups again on minute 6:00 then start with mountain climber on minute 9:00 and so on. I hope this helps

>Is biking/running/walking cardio?

Yes

don't do this, when you're training bodyweight you can't just increase weight so in order to make progress you should aim to increase the total number of reps and sets.
Same with running, if you ran a mile in 8 minutes last workout, you aim for 7:40 now. If you want to make progress, you cant always be doing the same numbers

This isn`t a plan yet it`s an explaination and attempt to figure out where OP stands.

not op, but...
you're grossly overestimating mental capacity of psycho-mom calling protein powder ROOOIDS.
while there is probaby no way you can reach such person as it's child (they respond to authority and/or emotion, not fact), one should be inclined to use short and simple to digest sentences
>basically, it's powdered milk mom

>No parents are this retarded
A lot of parents are controlling and never want their baby boy to leave the nest. Especially if it's a single mom (1/4 of American families).

t. son of a single mom who didn't listen to what I asked and threw a tantrum when I kicked her out of my house

I'm glad my mom is intelligent and reasonable.
inb4 >women >intelligent

Buy your own groceries. Don't eat theirs. Or move out, if they won't let you.
Basically this. Just get your ducks (and money) in a row first
If she gets mad at you for trying to improve yourself, that's her problem. Does she have a rational explanation? If no, just ignore it.
Ask for their medical credentials and point out your doctor says you're fine.

If they're still stubborn, get petty. Point out their bad habits and how it's a lot worse/more dangerous than what you're doing. Glass houses and stones, and whatnot.

For example my mom used to get mad at me for lifting, so every time she does I bring up her smoking habit, being overweight, constantly getting sick and it getting 10x worse because she never goes to the doctor, etc. It usually shuts her up.

Ok, I see. It might be difficult for me to do 12 reps in three minutes. Considering it took me about 30 seconds to do one push-up.
Could I make the last exercise lifting?

Moms are based though

Technically yes but then you should start with a lift always work from the highest intensity excercise to the easiest.

Attached: Push.jpg (660x660, 58K)

Wanting to keep an eye on what your kid is doing at all hours of the day sounds pretty normal for a psycho parent, speaking from experience.

how old are u out of curiosity?

25

well it looks like there's 2 options

1. (the best option) move out or move in with a friend or family member. while its not terrible that u live with your parents your well above the age of being able to move out. even if u were to get fit u would still be in ur parents house and they would still be telling u what to do.

2. workout in your bedroom with body weight exercises, ride the bike, and take walks.the problem with this route is that it will take longer due to a terrible diet and not doing the most efficient exercises. also you would still be living in ur parents home and they would probably inhibit your progress.

look user your problem goes way beyond Jow Forums. you're at an age where ur parents and u are having disagreements about the way u want to live and as long as you live there u have to either listen to them or sneak around them. even if u looked like Arnold u would still have the same problems they would just manifest in other areas. you can tell your mom and dad that you want/need to move out to be your own man and still love and respect them.