My mum won't let me use some shitty 5 KG dumbells we own because she thinks I'll get HERNIA on my BALLS!
I'M NOT MAKING THIS SHIT UP, THERE ARE RETARDS WHO THINK YOU CAN GET HERNIA IN YOUR BALLS BY LIFTING 5 KILOS, I LIFT MORE WHENEVER SHE ASKS ME FOR HELP WITH HER GOD DAMN GROCERIES!
She's gonna make me use ONE KILO DUMBELLS, THAT'S LESS THAN MY PINKY!
>buy your own dumbells
I can't, I live with her, that's the only reason I haven't done so
>steal them
I thought of it, I just need to find the key to the warehouse she keeps em.
My mum won't let me use some shitty 5 KG dumbells we own because she thinks I'll get HERNIA on my BALLS!
Jack Kelly
Jeremiah Perez
Lift the groceries
Jordan Brooks
Lmao get raped europoor neet
Aiden Thomas
You have to be 18 to post here
Logan Barnes
A mother's natural instinct is to baby her sons to try to protect them. You need your father for this. If you can't get your father's sponsorship, you need to go to the park and go hard on calisthenics until you can afford a gym because fat weak "mommies" will never understand.
Juan Perry
based mom looking out for her little good boy
Samuel Harris
Naked warrior -Pavel tsouille. (Not sure on the spelling of that last name)
It'll teach you how to get the most out of calisthenics. Also, part of becoming a man is knowing when to tell your parents to fuck off and make their retardation someone else's problem.
Almost ALL mothers will s"mother" you and stunt your growth in life under the impression that they are helping. You have to draw that line for her. She will not handle it well. And that's just too damn bad.
Charles Ward
Start lifting her heavy furniture/vases/whatever she owns and never put it back where it goes
Jeremiah Carter
Don't worry about the dumbbell, what's important here is that mummy's littke boy is being such a good boy! Mummy's boy isn't playing with the big bad weights, he's a good boy and he listens to mommy! Such a sweet little boy mmmmmwah!
Cameron Reed
Her shit is not even worth lifting, no heavy vases, no good trophies, I got nothin'.
Well, I don't care about crushing her little fantasy when she has stated that she hates muscles, facial hair and height, manly things basically. This might just be so my little twink twin will not feel overpowered compared to me, who puts effort, who exercises.
I can't ask my dad, he's unreliable, he probably believes it too.
I gotta infiltrate the warehouse and get them myself, where the fuck are the keys?!
Adam Ross
Ask your PCP next time mommy takes you to the doctor. He should be able to quell her fears.
Ryan Lewis
I think the keys might be somewhere in my dad's room (my mom sleeps in the livng room, you can see how lovely my family is), time to take what I fucking deserve!
Dominic Adams
Just go to a park, do push ups, pull ups, squats and other excercises. I swear, sometimes i think that you guys dont work out at all.
Owen Jones
fill gallon jugs with sand. lift sand
Camden Walker
Well, I do the saitama routine, 100 pull, push, sit ups and squats, along with cardio, yeah I'm trying to reach my peak, but the more options the better, ya know, sometimes you should mix things up, like weights on your legs for stronger pull ups or dumbells for minimal stamina loss but still some stimulation.
I just hate how unproductive my family is, I feel like I'm the only one in my household keeping the Spartan spirit alive.
John Scott
Holy shit you fucking hate your mom, OP, I understand, she sounds like the type of woman who doesn't vaccinate her kids and believes in "healing oils" or magic crystals. How's your dad?
Benjamin Davis
Buy a pair of rings
Michael Mitchell
Have sex
with your mother, to establish dominance in the family
Xavier Jenkins
My dad's incompotent to say the least, but atleast his face does not look fat, he's only got a gut, so he's not a total embarrasment.
Anyway, you're right, I'm vaccinated but when I brought the matter in a discussion she said something about "muh bare minimum", so I'm afraid she only gave me very basic vaccines and that I'm gonna fucking die from a cold.
Oh, and yes, healing oils, she thinks that shit works on wounds and acme, no crystals though thankfully.
Jackson Reed
Holy shit, just man up. Demand that she give you the bigger dumbbells now. Assert your fucking dominance, you pansy
Jaxon Peterson
The mere thought makes me wanna kill myself honestly, not just because she's my mum, but because she's a fucking cunt and I hate her, hate sex is the absolute worst.
Joshua Robinson
is she attractive ?
Luke Moore
I honestly hope you are either under 16 years old or trolling (or both). If not, you are beyond redemption.
I was playing with 5kg dumbells when I was 14 years old (can't really call it a training, I was just messing around with them) and my parents actually encouraged it, they just warned me not to push myself too hard.
Ryan Cook
Too much of a hassle, and not to mention I've tried before, infact if I tried it with anyone else they'd be pissin' and shittin' their pants, but she's a god damn airhead, she has no concept of dominance in words, so I'll just go get them myself, no announcement, she doesn't even deserve one, I'll just go get em and if she tries to take them away she'll have to get past me.
Alexander Richardson
why my mom isnt like that ? she just doesnt care what i do
Noah Rodriguez
Your family sounds really comfy, no retarded speeches about how "HIIT" is bad or recommending you JANE FUCKING FONDA DVDS, just regular "knock yourself out, just not too hard" types of recommendations, man I wish I had that.
To me? Absolutely not.
She was a singer though, I will not specify who, I'll get lynched, she sucks anyways, she doesn't deserve the attention of more than a thousand facebook twigs.
Thomas Watson
I wish my mum didn't care about what I did, she always told me all the other (more funny, charismatic, athletic) kids had parents who didn't care, who only fed them rice. Well to that I say bullshit, those kids had actually good parents, and not a shitbag whore who considers controlling my life choices a genuinely good thing.
Aaron Peterson
Underageb& holy fucking shit what the fuck
Evan Edwards
how old are you ? does she hugs you or something ? does she looks for your affection?
Jaxon Ortiz
Are you a pinoy
Jayden Kelly
Nope, 19, sad I know
A what?
Jeremiah Parker
So you are 17? Reported.
Jaxson Smith
>tfw my dad literally built me a shed to have a gym in and helped pay for a power rack and my mum proudly tells people
Lincoln Wood
Here's your (You), not very funny, user.
Lincoln Brown
Your parents are very good, user, good on em'.
Liam Mitchell
>I just need to find the key to the warehouse she keeps em.
>She locks her 10 lbs dumbbells in a warehouse
These are dumbbells, not the Ark of the Covenant.
Christopher Ross
>mfw other Anons with genuinely shitty parents who used the "other kids have it worst" method
user, trust me, just get away as soon as possible, it doesn't get better
Juan Lee
>expecting logical things from these stupid retards who think an adult shouldn't hold a fucking butterknife
Connor Lee
Is your mum a fatty? Come on we wanna laugh, user, give us some funny fatty stories!
Christian Walker
No, not a fatty, just a mediocre bitch who will always ask if you want more fucking food right after you eat. So, therefore, a glutton, or someone who tries to make everyone else one, my brother never refuses her little requests, he's a skelly though, suprisingly.
Adrian Scott
damn i want a dominant mommy so i turn on her good boy and do what she demands
Nicholas Morris
Just lift your mom instead user.
Even better, lift her against a wall and fuck her pussy raw to establish dominance.
Logan Sanchez
Eugh, no, probably smells like sardines, I'm not putting my dick in that shit.
Gavin Walker
This.
/thread
Ryder Parker
>actually doing the saitama routine
Are you retarded or underage? Both?
Leo Garcia
This actually happened to my uncle and he has to strap his shit up before doing any lifting
Adam James
You sound absolutely insufferable. Holy shit
Wyatt Stewart
NGMI
Asher Edwards
Tell your mum to get bent. What a pair of cunts.
Eli Wilson
1onlytony.blogspot.com
wolfandiron.com
legendarystrength.com
Use light dumbells, from 1-2kg.
“I consider 5-lb. dumb-bells quite sufficient for any one.”
The weights are a TOOL for MUSCLE CONTRACTION. This is a system based on MIND MUSCLE CONNECTION. Very different from weightlifting. The weights are not important. MUSCLE CONTROL is.
Luis Peterson
You could get hernia in your balls from walking around, tel her to push you in a stroller if she’s a good Mom.
Benjamin Lewis
This.
A gallon of water weighs eight pounds. A gallon of sand weighs twelve pounds. Better than nothing.
Wyatt Myers
Thanks guys, I already decided to go grab em' when I find the keys, but I'll try the sandbag method too when those get stale.
Daniel Thomas
>hermia on your BALLS BY LIFTING 5 KILOGRAMS
Is your mum retarded? One of your replies implies you're a Greek, but this is American level of dumbassery.