Weekly Family Thread

Isn't this cat supposed to be a lazy asshole?

You know what they say, lazy people(cats) are the most efficient when completing a task because they want to return to their laziness

sat for like 5 hours in the living room with my dad playing breath of the wild and talking with him, i love my dad, and it was nice talking to him and seeing him smile

He is

I usually ask the lazy people to do meticulous tasks because they will figure out the easiest way to get it done.

Enjoy it, some people aren't lucky to have a good father.

"Efficiency is clever laziness."

I've always imagined Chris&Karen as Kyousuke and Rin.

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Be safe if the weather is going to get that bad!

How is everyone doing? I had a quiet weekend so far nothing wierd at all.

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Someone in the last thread asked me about my Alizee-looking aunt, and I couldn't answer before the inevitable thread's demise.
>How did this thing with your aunt happen, friend? Or is it something you just wish could happen?
Nothing happened, at least not really. You see she is in fact my mother's cousin, but we called her Aunty for as long as I can remember. While growing up, she was always around and the only feminine figure in the family since my mom acts nothing like a woman (nor a man to be honest), my sister is one year younger, and both my grandmothers were either far or absolutely castrating. I didn't see many other girls, or boys. Bullying, we're on Jow Forums. Of course it had repercussions. I went all lovey-dovey on my aunt a few times, as in hugs and treating her like we were going to marry, cute kid shit to be fair. Only when I turned eleven did she go to the capital. We didn't see much of each other anymore except maybe once or twice a year, but when we did I was really happy and I think she was too. I quickly realized, even if I knew it wasn't right, that during puberty a pretty woman IS a pretty woman. My aunt is a pretty woman. I'd even say she's gorgeous. I knew her well, she was rather far most of the time, I was full of hormones : it was a recipe for disaster. I bottled up what I thought was lust for a few years. I tried to go out with other girls but it just didn't work, because I always thought of my aunt when I was romantic. It came up one day, I was just thinking about her. I felt, or I knew, that it wasn't lust, but love I felt towards her. And I still bottled it up. Continued, comment too long.

I kept it buried, I tried to act different towards her. I wanted to be more distant at some point but it didn't last. I just wanted to be with my aunt and kiss her, hug her. And she was still in celibacy, that didn't help. It's come to a point that two years back when she visited me at uni, I almost spilled the beans. I'm awkward in social situations, and when I'm nervous I need to focus by doing something. You can imagine that with the woman I've loved for YEARS in arms reach, I was really nervous. I had a beer in my hand, and I kept sipping again and again. I don't handle alcohol well, especially when I drink like that. So I was tipsy, and I did hug her tight, I put my head on her lap, told her I loved her. Just that, without explaining too much. She didn't seem to mind, in fact she told me that she loved me too. But I didn't go further. I think I should have. We kept talking to each other, and I saw her once last year. Things were as usual, she wasn't cold or anything. A few months back we started talking a bit more on the phone, we even planned that I visit her at some point though we haven't decided on when. To answer the last part of your question user, I really wish it would happen. To be honest, I promised myself time and time again that when I see her again, I'd tell her properly, and I'd kiss my aunt on her delicious lips.

Do what your heart tells you is right user. You can't help who your heart decides to fall in love with

Well that is what I told myself. I don't have much to lose, but I don't know if that is her case. Incest is legal here as long as it is between to consenting adult parties. We could even marry, but it turns out that social stigma is still very much a thing and she has friends. I don't know how my family would react. If it did happen, we'd probably have to keep it a secret at first. But boy, I do wish it would happen.

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>Friday (I think?)
>Didn't close for once
>Go home, brother's obviously upset
>What did I do oh god
>"It's nothing"
>NO TELL ME
>"I spent $20 on a porn game and it didn't have all the content from the Japanese version"
I hope my judging stare and silence didn't make him feel too bad, fucker can do what he wants I don't know. Oppai Cafe, about a guy fucking his mom and sister because of course it is, I guess the english version cut out marriage and pregnancy shit hahahahahahah. Also cuts or not I found cumderwear that day so he liked it well enough.
Oh and sorry for leaving you guys with that depressing ass overreaction on Wednesday, I'm doing fine now.
Also 100 percenting Ocarina of Time was a mistake but I'm almost done blaaaaah.

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oh no don't let him near your parents

Just go for it then. What is the age difference?

Honestly if I paid for a porn game and it was cut I would be mad too.

The sole reason I didn't buy Fire Emblem fates.

If I fucking pay for something, I want my nade nade minigame INTACT, DO YOU HEAR ME? INTACT!

>play fates
>marry sakura because she is smol and cute and hot
>can't make children

This shit pissed me off to no end.

He's not gonna pursue our mom and he knows I'll bite his dick off if he does.
I guess. It's still funny to me though.

How would you like it if a resteraunt advertised this awesome burger that is awesome because of the sauce they put on it but when you go to buy the burger you don't get the sauce? Its the same concept. You paid for the whole burger but didn't get the part that was supposed to make it good.

>meanwhile, at main house dinner table:
Father: I think our offspring is fucking
Mother: He's not gonna pursue our daughter and he knows I'll bite his dick off if he does.

I'm twenty, she's forty-something. It doesn't bother me, but I'm afraid it might be her case.

Do you think he only bought the game for the pregnancy and marriage stuff? Oh god.
They know notHING SHUT UP

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>your brother is going for the oyakodon route

Well for her it would probably be seen as predatory behavior. But if it was secret then it may be workable at least for awhile. Plus the hidden aspect of it would make it more exciting. Do it user before the chance may pass forever. At least get some closure for yourself if anything.

>pregnancy
Highest tier patrician fetish. Your brother is a man of culture.

It means he has a desire to dump loads of white goo into his blood relative with the sole purpose of procreation. Honestly when I am reading a doujin and the guy cums and the girl replies that she is going to get pregnant it only makes me cum harder. I think its an instinctive reaction.

Did you ever hide something from your mother/parents?

Bad grades, a small puppy from the streets, secret boyfriends, your first kiss, etc?

TL;DR: They know.

>Friday night, it's movie night
>I decide the movie
>watch Maquia
>family of 7: dad, mom, me (22), brother 1 (20), brother, 2 (15), brother 3 (13), brother 4 (10)
>15 yo brother and 10 yo brothers both cry at the end
>my dad asks why both of their are crying and laughs
>tfw I was tearing up at the end too

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They'd at least subtly pressure him to move out.

>predatory behavior
Don't forget I'm a frenchman. We legalized sex with a minor (15 years old) and we have such a cunt as Marlene Schiappa in the government. There is no such thing as grooming anymore. On the closure part, it would help indeed.

What does that word mean I always just get egg noodles when I google it.
I don't need this right now I already feel shitty. brb finishing the Spirit Temple.
Fucking poems and two hour foreplay, how do you fuckers do it why are you so good ugh.

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Oyakodon is a dish made from mother and child (chicken and eggs).
The oyakodon route is going for both the mother and her daughter.

I imagine them as Taichi and Hikari or Ritsu and Uta.

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Then go for it you glorious baguette. Call her up and ask if she would like to have dinner with you. It's an innocent enough action, maybe during be a bit romantic, share some wine to loosen up a bit, give her some sweet words, and confess your desires to her. She may agree or she may not but at least you wont live with uncertainty. Maybe even ask that if she does reject you that just one night together and that the next day you two would be back to the way it was would help to give you closure. It's worth a shot man.

Its the mother and child egg dish. I'm saying he would take you the child and her the mother at the same time in a sexual way.

Don't worry about it. I'll lighten up on the teasing. Have you gotten your daily hugs and kisses yet?

>I think our offspring is fucking
I'm certain this came out during at least one of their conversations.

Oh. No.
He's hugged me a few times, trying not to kiss him on the mouth until I figure out if I feel bad because sick or just feel bad.
Noooooooo.

oya = parent
ko = child
oyakodon = fun for the whole family

youtube.com/watch?v=SAluC5k0Ip8

Aww aren't you considerate. How cute, you know you can be extremely adorable sometimes.

Thank you for your advice. It's genuinely great, and a bit close to what I wanted to do. She lives in Paris though, and it's not as romantic as you might think these days. I'll get her a present too, it's been a moment. Well now I suppose I can pinpoint an exact date with her next time we're on the phone.

Take her to Orleans or Compiegne or maybe even book a few nights in Dieppe.

Its a good idea to not get him sick. Mine got sick and still went to work while having a fever. Seems I ended up getting him sick after all.

You've been a bad imouto and need to be punished.

Well, she doesn't have a whole lot of free time. When she does have a holiday, she prefers to go to our home region. It'll have to be Paris. It's not that she doesn't want to go out or anything. She just doesn't get a lot of free time (and commute in Paris is hellish).

What happened?
What and how did you made him sick?
H-how?

I know. I feel bad about it.

I don't know. Maybe I coughed on him or it just spread because he kept being close to me to treat me. He is really stubborn though and won't let me spoil him.

I wish I had a cute imouto to spoil me.

I'm the guy who's older sister has been showering in front of me through a glass wall.

To keep this short, her husband left yesterday, she went back to showering as normal this morning, and soon after that I found her masturbating in her room. She was rubbing herself doggy style, she paused and looked back over her shoulder at me, then continued as if I wasn't there. I apologized and left, I'm sure someone will give me shit for that. When I saw her afterwards she didn't say anything about it and was treating me completely normally, over lunch I apologized again for intruding and all she did was flatly apologize back to me, saying she had gone too far to stop and talk to me.

I'm getting the impression she's less of an exhibitionist and actually just doesn't care if I see her, or at least that's what she wants me to think. I'm at more of a loss than ever as to what I'm supposed to do or think right now.

Maybe talk to her about it and see if there is any reasoning behind what she is doing.

I agree with this. Being honest with yourself is the only way you will be able to move forward.

I don't know, I just feel my heart swell up and I start going off saying extremely cheesy stuff to her and I'm lucky she likes that kind of stuff because I think I am being romantic but from the outside it probably looks corny as hell.

Well hopefully he gets well soon.

You need to see what she thinks. She might be just doing it because she is comfortable or she wants more from you.

Well an attempt was made. She repeated to me that she just enjoys the sun coming through the glass wall, and as for the masturbation she seemed almost annoyed at the question and said it was my fault for barging in on her. But she also said it's no big deal and she doesn't really care. Her exact response when I firmly asked why she doesn't care when I see her naked or masturbating was "It's not like you're a stranger" and a shrug.
I'm thinking she's just comfortable, but I can't help but be suspicious.

Funny you mention Taichi and Hikari...
youtu.be/cXw_5mcHLDg

I see. If she was annoyed at you asking about one thing but okay with the other that's wierd.

It's something intuitive everyone knew.

That episode was the best one from the original digimon, that's for sure. Thg whole feeling is different there.

To be fair, I kinda said it as if she made me see her masturbating, I think that annoyed her. It's not entirely untrue though, the door wasn't even closed all the way.

She seems freaky. Ask her if she would like you to help her masturbate.

im 27 and still live with my parents. im an only child. even though i live with them i dont interact that much with them. we dont do anything as a family either.

to be honest i dont know how or why my parents are still together. my father is an asshole who me and my mom both hate. he spent a lot of my childhood threatening us with divorce and spent a few years living in our guest bedroom yet my mother always got upset when he would threaten us. he's a short tempered, narcissistic asshole who regularly would insult me and my mother (and still does) and has never had a friend my entire life. and worst part is i basically turned into him

bonus is how many times in my life ive heard how it explains everything about me when i tell people im an only child, like that being an only child explains why im so weird and autistic. that plus my terrible upbringing, i dont feel like i had a chance

Does she only do that when her husband isnt home? That would indeed make me suspicious

It's never too late to change user. You don't have to be him, you can be you.

I kinda know this feel, and yeah, it can be rough. I got over it thanks to my grandma, who lived luckily nearby. Have you got any other family that you can visit or talk to?

Sounds like a leap, I don't know if I want that, let alone her.
She's only showered with the curtains open once with her husband home, and even then she closed the curtains earlier than usual. I guess that's the main reason I'm a little suspicious of her.

it really is too late man. come on im 27. i went through HS, college, 5 years post college now being the same guy. no social life, no experiences, just annoyed with people now, always angry.

the only grandma i knew was my dad's mother who i would see once a year for a few days at thanksgiving. also the rest of my small extended family, same thing. hell, i literally attended college with a female cousin of mine who was i think a few years older, literally went to the same college as me, and never saw or talked to her once. she died of a drug overdose. and the only other cousin of mine besides her close to my age i never spoke to either

really just a horrific state of affairs. i hate to sit here and blame my father for stuff but i think he's the core of me ending up like this

Hey chris might you share some more of your poetry? I prefer karens handiwork but your poetry also give me a heartboner.

It doesn't seem healthy for you to stay the way you are. I don't really know your situation at all, but have you considered moving to someplace else?

moved away for 4 years for college, nothing improved because of how broken i am socially and with my brain but i definitely did like not having to interact with my parents. i recognize still living with your parents at 27 is beyond pathetic but when you have a life as horrible as i have this is where the cards have fallen

>older brother got a new bodywash
>he smells incredible
>so warm but so stimulating
>won't let me cuddle with him
What a jerk. Doesn't he love his sister?

I asked my older sister why she stops showering with the curtain open when her husband's home, the explanation was he'll sneak in there and have some fun most of the time. Wasn't prepared for this information.

People and born alone, live alone and die alone.

Relationships like chris' are hacks, don't mind them, don't be consumed by fear and rage. Just be yourself. Take your time to find yourself and possibly move away from home, that'll help you finding it.

Therefore, the answer for your problem is moving there and having some fun. She'll stop showering with the curtains open once you do it.

That sounds like a good way to lose my new home.

That sound like a good way to help your sister stop your sister from flashing you

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Well I guess we all found something new about your sister today.

>Me, gross and unshowered, wearing pajama pants and the same tank top I wore yesterday, getting angry at OoT and about to break my 3DS
>Brother: You're beautiful today, just wanted you to know that
I hate this fucker so much.
I also hate how I had three heart pieces left on the OoT checklist but in-game I was missing four and I spent an hour backtracking only to figure out I never talked to the fucking Skulltulla guy who gives you a heart piece kill me.
Grrrr stop being so good.
Uhhhhh okay your sister is weird. I dunno bud she trusts you a hell of a lot obviously but there's probably more going on idk.

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But he loves you and wants you to know that even if you are unbathed and covered in grime in his eyes you are still the beautiful woman he fell in love with.

He loves you so much when you are mass, now imagine if you would put some effort in not being a mess. He would never leave you. Just a reminder.

It wasnt poetry as much as it was me putting on a horrible french accent while kissing up her arm and down her chest while saying that she was like moonlight, a light in the dark and soft on the eyes. God what the hell is wrong with me.

Its horribly cliche but I can't help it.

Does he at least give you hugs or headpats?

I wish i knew what it was like to have siblings. I grew up as an only child and the handful of times I've revealed that information to people, generally the response is something along the lines of how "now my behavior/personality makes sense" to them.

I dont have any family. I had an opportunity to meet my parents but decided against it.

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I guess it comes down to whether or not you are fine with never knowing them until the day you die.

Thhey didnt want me for the first 25 years of my life. Why should I want anything to do with them?

All i'm saying is that it is a decision you want to be 100 percent sure in. When you are about to pass on having any regrets is going to suck. But hey, if you really are sure then don't let anyone convince you.

BlaaAAAAaaah. It sucks when I know he's lying though.
What are you even saying you ass.
Post some of it you ass.

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I dont like people so I wont regret not meeting a few more of them. If I could afford to move away into the wilderness and live alone I would.

Why would he be lying? Has he ever claimed otherwise?

I just meant he's lying today. I look nice sometimes, today is not one of those times.
I don't mean to give you the wrong idea, I love that he would say that, it's just blah.

Maybe hes into this type of shit

I didn't write it out. I just pulled it out in the heat of the moment.

But I don't think he is lying. He thinks you are beautiful and he sees you that way. Most people in love view the one they love in a higher light than normal.