"Of course we're still going to Chick-Fil-A, Champ. I know how much you love their Sweet Tea and Chick-n-Strips, but we've got several stops to make along the way, and this place is one of them. Turn that frown upside down, Champ. By getting a job, you'll be able to do all those things you've always wanted to do -- and the best part is that you won't need to use your mother's credit card anymore. You'll practically be rolling in piles of dough! Besides, you've gotta start thinking about your future, Champ. One day, you're gonna leave the nest and have a family of your own. And there's no better way to get started than by getting a job. When I was your age, I rucked through the blizzard of '67 to get the down at the factory. Nearly lost my toes and fingers to frostbite that day, but the manager was so impressed when I barged through the door that he hired me right on the spot. It was tough sledding every now and then on the line, and 'Nam got in the way. But I worked my way up through the ranks then I raised you, bought the house, three cars, the boat, and our winter vacationer down in Lake Las Vegas. You've got all the opportunities in the world!"
"Now that all those kids are back in school, it should be easier for you to walk in and find work. Whaddya mean you're down in the dumps, Champ? Champ, back in my day, depression was just another way of saying that you needed a kick in the keyster to get you going. You've got nothing to be sad about, Champ. Especially when it comes to taking advantage of opportunities like working. Tell ya what: I'll drive you around town to look for a job, and we won't turn back until someone hires you on the spot. It's simply a matter of walking into the store to speak with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and refusing to let go until he tells you when you can start. Every journey begins with a single step, Champ!"
Boomers always forget that the global population was half of what it is now and that 90% of the control mechanisms, including all the ones that allowed a single generation to permanently change the environment in about 9000 days unchecked because you're right op, if that drill bit aint turnin' to the right then nothing gets done. Boomers and their retarded 3.0+ birth rate. I got one friend who had parents that had 10 kids and each one barely remembers each others names like its a village.
Joshua Perry
typed that too fast. 90% of the control mechanisms that regulate ALL business now, like EPA rules and Tax rules were made by boomers to control competition. Noone young can break into a competitive marketplace unless they are just truly that exceptional. JR simplot was allowed to go out into the woods and basically get raw materials from nature to sell in order to buy his first potato machine. Cant do that anymore because it would piss off a boomer who feels guilty for doing the very same thing.
Oliver Jones
"Don't beat yourself up, Champ: I didn't raise a quitter; I raised a Champ. You'll never reach the higher branch if you don't jump. During my senior year in high school, we were facing our cross-town rivals from Allentown Prep. They were the best team in the entire state, and they had this monster of a defensive end: Chet Anders. He was 6'5, 260 - or he was until I dove at his knees on a cut block and took him out. Sheer luck it took the paramedics a good 15 minutes to get him to stop screaming. I think he put a gun to his mouth after Notre Dame yanked his scholarship offer and he couldn't even get into Hacwanee Community College as a third-stringer. Can you believe that, Champ?"
"The point is that you've gotta crawl outta that shell of yours, show up ten minutes early, speak with the manager, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you'll be the best hire they'll ever make. Go on, Champ. If it worked for me, it'll work for you."
Disrespecting the managers time so much that you want to waste it without even making an application first? Geez no wonder we are NEETs
Carson Sanders
Bumping underrated thread originally
Xavier Baker
But dad! Chick-fil-a only hires people with 10+ years of retail experience and they'll laugh you out of the store if you don't have a resume with at least 15 good references and a letter of recommendation from a state senator and a tenured university professor.
>"The point is that you've gotta crawl outta that shell of yours, show up ten minutes early, speak with the manager, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you'll be the best hire they'll ever make. Go on, Champ. If it worked for me, it'll work for you." tfw my dad made me do this once at a restaurant we were eating at once
I think you're a really talented young man, champ. I've seen what you've been doing on the computer there. And I'm just blown away by how good you are. I got a job for you son, you're comin' with me, you're hired.
I got an opening for you at my firm. And how's this: starting salary, two hundred thousand dollars. Per annum.
Listen champ, I need ya. I need ya on my team. I've seen what you can do on the computer.
Thanks Dad, you're a great dad and a great president.
Jeremiah Butler
1. I don't eat fast food. 2. My dad actually said these jobs were beneath me in highschool and that I should focus on my career/learning foreign language 3. I grew up in a rural area without many job opportunities 4. My parents were fairly wealthy so I could get just about everything and so were their's (Not white btw, and my parents came here in their college years from a foreign country) 5. I actually have a great job now because of all of this.
This type of post is useless to me.
Justin Ortiz
Getting a job is as easy as going up to the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him that you're not letting go until he tells you when you can start. You've got no excuses!
When I was your age, we were facing our cross-town rivals over at Allentown Prep. They were the best team in the entire state, and they had this monster of a defensive end: A huge fella by the name of Chet Anders. He was 6'5 and 260 pounds -- or he was until I dove at his knees on a cut block and took him out. Sheer luck it took the paramedics 15 minutes to get him to stop screaming. And that was with the scouts from Alabama and Notre Dame in attendance. Last I heard, he leapt off a bridge after he couldn't even hack it in Hacwamanee Community College as a third-stringer.
The point is that you've gotta grab life by the horns. And the best way to do that is to walk into the store like you own the place, look the manager in the eye, give him a firm handshake, and tell him that you're not letting go until he tells you when you can start. You've just gotta be confident, Champ. It's that simple.
"Champ, the older you get, the more enjoyment you'll find in the little things in life -- like a nice cuppa on a chilly morning. A venti coffee and a double shot espresso for me, but decaf for you, Champ; I can't afford to have you nervous and antsy during the interview. I need you focused. FOCUSED on speaking with the manager about the job, giving him a firm handshake, and not letting go until he tells you when you can start. Besides, you don't want caffeine, Champ. It's bad for the heart. I read it on the Internet."
"Say, Champ: Why not try it out here and see if it works? The manager will appreciate that you spoke with him directly. Shows confidence and interest in the job, Champ. You'll practically have to fend off the ladies once you get your first paycheck!"
"Oh, isn't that your old friend Thad or Chud or Chazz from high school, the one who used to call you funny names on the way to school, pulling up in the parking lot in that Corvette? Boys will be boys, I guess. And that girl who's with him looks suspiciously like the one you kept talking about -- the one with the weird name. I think her name was 'way-foo' or 'Juannatitis or something. Don't be rude, Champ. Go over there and invite 'em over for dinner. I'm sure they'll be happy to see you after all these years."
>walk in, look the manager in the eye, give him a firm handshake "Yeah you need to apply online like everyone else."
Nicholas Wood
"You can't get a firm handshake out of an online application, Champ. The best way to get the manager's attention is to walk in there, give him a firm handshake, put your resume in his hand, and tell him that you're not leaving until he tells you when you can start. He'd be hard pressed not to hire you after a show of confidence like that!"
when you actually read the entire copypasta its scary how accurate this shit is
Carson Ramirez
"Champ, it's time you RESUMED your job hunt. Now, cool that hot head of yours and don't you worry. We're gonna get you a job -- and we won't turn back until someone hires you on the spot. It's as simple as showing up ten minutes prior, speaking with the manager, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him you'll be the best hire they'll ever make.
"Can't get any easier than that, Champ -- and you've got it pretty easy. When I was your age, I rucked through a snowstorm just to get to my interview down at the factory. It was the worst snowstorm in state history, and I didn't think I had the gumption to do it. Hell, I nearly froze to death on the march. But when I barged through the door, the manager was so impressed that he shook my hand and hired me right on the spot. If it worked for me then, it'll work for you now. Give it a try, Champ. You'll be glad you did."
But dad, they're all telling me I need to apply online right before they slam their door in my face! I've even tried going for the firm handshake like you've said but they manage dodge every single time!
Jose Ward
"It's all in the optics, Champ. I figure you could use a makeover to make yourself presentable. Just a little bit off the sides, and presto! You're ready for a night on the town. Whaddya mean 'you're balding, Champ?' You're not balding. You just need to STYLE it. It's all about being confident and putting your name out there. No, Champ. You don't wanna shave it. You'll look like a hoodlum, and no one would wanna hire you. Besides: Girls love it when you sweep your hair over the side like that. It's the bee's knees, Champ!"
"'Reeeee'? Champ, I know you're really excited about the job hunt and all - heard you psyching yourself up all last night - but can you save your battle cry for when we get home?"
