My parents never taught me how to use "hygiene" products

Use anti-antiperspirant to stop you from sweating as much. I typically put some on before doing something physical or before work, or it if's a hot day. It is usually fragranced too. Best applied to your underarms, there's not much point using it elsewhere and it's bad to use it on your junk or ass. It can stain dark clothes so put it on before getting dressed
Deodorant is just that, it masks stank or deodorises. Put it on after doing something physical or if you're otherwise concerned about how you are smelling. WARNING: if you don't want to smell like a teenage boy or a frat bro, apply sparingly
Aftershave is a high alcohol perfume used after shaving to disinfect your skin, reducing the chance or pore irritation. It smells good too. Cologne or perfume is like Aftershave, but usually just for smelling nice, it is typically a bit nicer and so not worth using just for shaving stuff. Put either on if you want to impress and try different ones out to find a sent you think suits you. I like something light and floral, some people like musky ones etc. Best applied to the inside of the wrists, then dabbed on the neck a little. Apply to skin not clothes.

So u dont use aftershave + cologne at once?
u say use deodorant after physical work but theres so much mention of sweaty ppl smelling of sweat+deodorant ???
and lots of info online that apply on clothes is better cause lasts longer???
>apply sparingly
thts the biggest problem idk what sparingly is and never will know cause obviously what i smell is different to what other ppl gonna smell

>put shampoo in hair
>wash out
You have a dick, this is all you need to know.

yea then >get hair loss 25 yrs old

I know that feeling. My entire family is bald and I doubt I'll have much left by 27. It's genetics though, nothing I can do about it so I don't care.

>So u dont use aftershave + cologne at once?
They are functionally the same thing other than price, usually. There's not any reason to use both unless you like how it smells.
>u say use deodorant after physical work but theres so much mention of sweaty ppl smelling of sweat+deodorant ???
No product makes you immune from sweating or smelling like it. But for those people you smell, they'd be more BO tier if they did not use deodorant.
>and lots of info online that apply on clothes is better cause lasts longer???
The exact opposite is true. Sprays will stain your clothes (even 'no white marks' ones) so it's best avoided. Aftershave/Cologne sticks to your skin far longer than clothes. I am not sure why though. Apply straight to skin.
>idk what sparingly is
For anti-antiperspirant it's just enough to have touched all your armpits.
For deodorant, short burst to the armpits. Like literally press it down and stop right away. If you want, a quick zig-zag over your body. Anything more will be noticeable.
For Cologne/aftershave, put a few drops/one or two squirts onto your wrists. Rub them together, then rub your wrists onto your neck. Done
if you have a zit/prone to shaving rash, splash a little onto the zit/your face after shaving

feels like I'm your mom

well it can ;look pretty badass if u are juiced or otherwise look like a mad max character

Do not use shampoo with sulphates. Put some only in the roots of your hair if possible, then rinse. Use a conditioner free of silicone. Leave it in as long as you want, comb through while the conditioner is in. Rinse then dry with a t-shirt, not a towel.
Only wash it once a week unless you really need to.
This is the most basic hair care tips, guy or girl

Retail fragrance salesman wagecuck here. I like hurting normalfaggot pockets by getting them to buy obscenely expensive fragrances that aren't even good.

For your ass, since you're a robot, I reccomend a cheap sport spray like polo sport or a clean/fresh spray like lacoste white. YSL's L'Homme is pretty good as well, though a bit pricier. The 3 I reccomend are around 60-70 dollar range. If you want a somewhat decent yet cheap fragrance, I reccomend smelling a few of the curves before buying.

As for how to use them? Spray on and around neck and clothing. If you want to, armpits as well.

i used conditioner then friend ask why the fuk my hair so wet so idk i dont know how to identify my hair type, dont know how to iidentify my skin type

>Only wash it once a week unless you really need to.
WHY?/? my hair looks like shit on third day tho. wats wrong with washing it every day without products? products once a week,other days just water

>I reccomend smelling a few of the curves before buying.
do u smell them just take them in hand and smell them or u allowed to literally spray it in air and smell it???

your friend is a moron, condition your hair dum-dum. If it looks greasy, check if the conditioner has silicone in and use a different one if so
your hair type/skin type doesn't matter at all. Just focus on sulphate free shampoo/silicone free conditioner

You only need to shampoo it daily if you are using silicone products, as others wash away with water. Sorry if that wasn't clear.
Shampooing more than you need to burns the outside of the hair and leads to split ends and frizz

>I reccomend smelling a few of the curves before buying.
do u smell them just take them in hand and smell them or u allowed to literally spray it in air and smell it??? cos if its allowed to be sprayed in store then what if i buy a bottle tht has been sprayed out a lot before by hundreds of customers... wtf,,,,,,

Usually the stores will have little papers that they will spray the fragrance on. Otherwise, asking for it to be sprayed on one part of your arm may be the best way to test out if it'll actually smell good on you, skin chemistry changes the fragrance once on skin, try on paper then ask for a little spray on your arm if you like when it was on paper. You want the fragrance to dry on your skin first before smelling though, because the initial fragrance of alcohol might overpower the actual fragrance.

They have tester bottles, you'll be buying the ones in box that have never been sprayed. Sometimes there will be no tester bottle for a particular fragrance, and you'll be out of luck.

fuck thats a lot of talking to humans gotta be drunk to be able to pull that off

the worst part is not even the talking to humans but them looking at u

buddy. listen. it doesn't matter how much your perfume costs. most people aren't spending $200, they probably aren't even spending $30. a lot of girls prefer natural smell over the smell of perfume. i personally just put on deodorant and occasionally some of the spray-on deodorant if i have any. if you shower regularly and use deodorant, you are already ahead of the average guy. smoking is going to hold you back. if you want to apply the perfume just spray it once or twice, better too little than too much.

the only thing holding you back is your own psyche. you think you need to engage in this shit and spend hundreds of dollars when really all you need is minimal effort and to get yourself into shape. quit using excuses like "if i dont do this or that i cant be successful." you dont need any of this shit, just get your act together.

Right OP, it's clear you're a bumbling retard, but I figure the best thing to do is start with the simple stuff
Deoderant and aftershave/cologne are two different things, serving two very different purposes, but both alter your scent.

Deoderant is used to deal with body odour. It's the main thing that'll be used after a shower (although it can be applied when you haven't freshly washed, but doing it after 1 day of showering isn't advised). It helps to combat sweat from physical activity as well as help to maintain a persipiration issue.

Now, if you're sitting at home, chilling on #chan, you'd probably notice you're sweating. Thats a natural case of homostatsis, your body is keeping itself cool. Throw that in with heat being generated from your surroundings such as electrical equipement, the sun, cramped quarters and what not, you'll notice you sweat despite doing nothing laborious.

What happens if you try to spray on deodrant after a couple days without showering? Well, since the spray works by essentially blocking the pores to stop sweating, you'll essentially be drying out already oily skin. You'll create a rather foul smelling area as the sweat from yesterday (which you generated in your sleep) is locked in. You're attempting to mask the stench, but that stench is pretty meneacing by now.

Deodrant is great, since it doesn't just stick to armipits. Produce a lot of sweat on your back? Spray it before getting dressed. Wear jumpers and not a fan of the forearm and underarm sweat? Liberally apply a bit of deoderant.

I, personally produce a fair chunk of sweat so I tend to stick to the drier range, which helps to combat the sweat. Sure, the scent from the deoderant doesn't emit when I sweat but it stops me sweatting (Lynx Africa Dry is my secret). Have a look at the ranges when you do your next online shop, try out different sprays.

Now cologone is a different ball game. It's not a case of grabbing whatever brand is recogonised or what sounds great, you'd have to do a bit of trying and testing before you find what really suits you.

The scents are typically divided between sex, with female (feminine) scents being typically 'lighter', in that they don't have an intruding musk that your face cringes in disgust, 'sweeter/fruity' in that your tones typically would make one think of sweets.

Male (masculine) scents are the polar opposite, rarely you'd find any anything 'sweet', but you'd find more 'clean'. Clean scents are the masculine version of 'fruity', with it being a very crisps, sharp smell that you'd get a strong whiff of, but nothing really else. Then we have the 'woody' which is probably what you'd expect from a masculine man, smells fairly strong, and is the opposite of a 'lighty' scent. You'd expect a woody scent to linger around if you've recently hugged someone on the other person.

The scents are then divided into two sections, day and night fragences. Day fragences are expected (and perform) most effective during the day. Typically either a light (if fem) or clean (if mas) scent that.

The baby blue jean, (perfumemaster.com/versace/baby-blue-jeans-mens-cologne) is a clear daytime scent. It doesn't hit your nose rawly, just catches a scent when brushed nearby.

Their night time version (perfumemaster.com/versace/blue-jeans-mens-cologne?zenid=v60517t1rfli3cclmi5k714q90) is the opposite, with a more focus on a woody scent. The smell lingers in the night and is easily recogonised by it's odour.

So if you're planning a night out, is there any real issue in swapping the scents other? Typically no, I've worn Paco 1 Million with no real issue in the day, as well as Hugo Boss Black with no issue. It isn't going to be a game changer, but I know that Hugo Boss Black would certainly get more people to expect a man after dark to attach the wood scent to the environment.

Here is what I'm currently dealing with

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thats gay and u should kys

>Smelling bad is a great idea
Spotted the wee man child
What's your current record? 4? 5? Or did you go a full week without showering q

3 weeks easily

Congratulations on your progress on becoming a goblin. I'm sure your appearance won't be an issue with the transition

i look pretty decent girls still look at me sometimes shy too if i took any care of myself i would be good

>smoked an entire pack of cigarettes and having suicidal thoughts over FUCKING PERFUME

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Oh wow your pic is funny

just got blue jeans and it smells fucking wonderful

here is the source of the pic
youtube.com/watch?v=J7ZUYEXkmtM

I assume this is bait, but if not, please know that

If you were my son I would take you on a camping vacation and leave you deep in the fucking woods.

Hey man can I have your contact info? Wanna talk thanks

I have around 30 perfumes and I have the one in your pic related as well, it's a good cheapie. But there are indeed much better ones out there. Try blue de chanel. Impossible to dislike.

Eatabigdick@gmail

My name is Hubert Humphrey

Please fuck of back to fragrantica and /fa/ fragrance generals

Thanks how big is your reporductive flesh tube? Mhm wanna gladly consume!

This faggot needs to take a shower and wipe his ass before he starts wasting money on fucking cologne

Between 1 and 5 inches depending on inflation :)

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