How the actual FUCK do i gain weight

how the actual FUCK do i gain weight

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GOMAD

EAT
MORE
FOOD
THIS IS NOT ROCKET SURGERY

wat do if lactose

eat more calorie dense food and more in general, you absolute fucking retarded faggot

Eat at a deficit while doing lots of cardio.

Eat more calories than you burn.
Eat enough macros so that you build muscles and not gain fat and have enough energy for exercises.
Get an estimate from literally any site that counts your daily calorie need and work from there - if you don't gain weight then you actually need to eat more. You should eat around ~500 calories more than you burn.

alright what kind of food motherfucker, i feel full all day after like one solid meal

CALORIE DENSE FOODS WITH HIGHER FAT CONTENT. EAT THROUGHOUT THE DAY

Google a calorie calculator, put in your stats. Look at how much daily calories to maintain your current weight. Eat 500 more calories than that every day. Steady weight gain.

What do you eat on a regular day?

>alright what kind of food motherfucker, i feel full all day after like one solid meal

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drink oil, drink mass gainer protein shakes, drink drink drink as many calories as it takes. probably won't be more than 5k.

eat more, el goblino

i don't understand how some "men" are full after like 2000 calories. eating like a sparrow, what the fuck. i could drink 2000 calories in orange juice every day and not be at all fuller as a result. why aren't you doing this? who told you to eat 4000 calories of chicken and broccoli?

Peanut butter, full fat yogurt, fatty ground beef, rice with lots of butter, etc

How did evolution let these fuckers survive?

fucking skellies are way worse than fatties

Unironicly make shakes with a bunch of food in it

No one asked you nigger monkey

Then you arent white and should kys

most men are fucking pussy faggots

But I'm studded after 2 toasts and some milk...

1.5lbs of 73% ground beef a day.

>73%

This bait will never die and I thank you so much for that fact

Maybe you shouldn’t have gotten a stomach sleeve as a skeleton

Is that Justin Bieber?

Check deficiencies for magnesium and copper.

This kid will never consistently go to the gym. This was a one time thing wether xqc realizes it or not.

Heres my recipe adding a little bit of lentils and rice every day

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that's some cute girl right there

>drinking gatorade at the gym
good fucking god

All of it. Force feed.

lactaid pills

Peanut butter is your friend

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Actual hardgainer here.

Eat more PROTEIN. Excess calories will be stored as fat. Protein gets your nitrogen balance where it needs to be

Kill animals, drink their blood!

you realize 1 cup of peanuts is 800 calories?
you realize 3 cups of milk is 500 calories?
you realize if you eat 3 meals a day, and drink a cup of milk and eat a cup of peanuts with every meal that is 2,900 calories, not including the meals?

tldr: you realize you’re fucking retarded?

you need to workout so you get hungrier and then its easier to eat alot

Literally just add more fat to your meals. Fat is the most dense shit you can get, calorically speaking. INGEST MORE OF IT.

How can you be this fucking dense?

If this is you then you're the skelly verson of me, like and my hair is the same color but longer. But I'm also a lanklet and the same face and everything.

1. Try to double your normal portion size for every 3 meals a day
2. Eat through the feeling of fullness
3. Track your calories using myfitnesspal on your phone
4. Set up the "goals" in the app to gain weight, make sure you never fall below your minimum calorie requirement

Imagine being so physically weak that eating is a strain for you. And then these people think they're going to get shredded.

What if they had aids?

And here we see the vegan bodybuilder in its natural state

Here's how I gained 22lbs in 3 months.

3-4 eggs hardboiled
25g walnuts 25g almonds (non salted)
1-2 slices whole wheat bread with butter (non salted)
tomato

chicken legs/pork chops/ground beef 0.5 lb/ground turkey 0.5 lb (alternate meats daily)
100g rice (dry weight)/entire box of mac & cheese

ribeye steak/salmon/ground beef/ground turkey/pork/chicken
100g rice/300g potato (sweet or russet, if russet mash it)
crimini/shitake/portobello mushroom or greens (spinach/asparagus)
any dessert

100g oats
1cup homo milk
proton powder
50g peanut butter (natural smooth)
150g cottage cheese
banana

~3200 calories

kombucha or greek yogurt for healthy digestion
water is the only other thing you'll be drinking. You will drink it throughout the day and during every meal. If you find yourself taking forever to eat/chew, water it down and swallow. Water down the peanut butter and cottage cheese in your mouth. Be efficient, food is your fuel, make sure dinner is delicious and something you look forward to every day.

It's a matter of routine. Buy a cheap rice cooker. Split the meals up throughout the day and force yourself to go buy and prep and clean for every meal. You have to be thinking about food all day no matter what otherwise you'll skip meals or simply not eat enough.

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You're gonna want to eat 7777 calories a day and eat 2_? of protein per kg bodyweight. good luck and keep away form yellowstone also drink more juice

>3,500 calories a day of keto
>not working out
>not gaining weight

what's happening?

The kind of food fat people eat. Pizza, doughnuts, icecream, diet pepsi.

Drink beer on weekends. They're the ultimate caloric nukes.

Whatever you eat in a day double it

I find this to be ineffective. I had to increase it little by little every day. Otherwise I'd just violently regurgitate it.

eat boiorger

I think you can narrow that one down chief

>This thread again

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Eating enough food is by far the most challenging part of lifting.

Skelly guys have it shitty lol.
Skelly girls on the other hand, the ones who can't even finish one damn cheeseburger in one sitting without getting uncomfortably full, and just forget to eat until they finally shove a couple handfuls of sunflower seeds in, have it the best.
How I envy the skelly woman. I have a skelly friend (taller than me) who can barely fit in 1400 calories a day. Meanwhile, I obsess and strain to remain at 20% bmi. I do it, and it works, but damn, if I let myself I could easily eat 2400-3000 calories per day as a 5'5 female.

Here is my advice to you OP, speaking from the perspective of ottermode, previously Skelly. Everytime you go grocery shopping double it. Buying 300g of ground prok for your meal tonight? Make it 600. Never ever skip meals. If you do, make sure you consume those lost calories the following day so you don't fall off. Make sure that whenever you buy groceries you are also buying snacks. This can be banannas, fruit cups, big old bags of almonds that you can keep in your car, nutri grain bars. Doesnt matter, just make sure you aren't lazy and run out of food. I like to put a lot of effort into my meals and I have no free time between school, work and going to the gym so I replaced my protien shakes with Mammoth mass shakes, which I can also take if I haven't had enough calories any given day. You're going to need to spend a lot more money and time on food, so be prepared to make sacrifices, whether that is spending an hour less playing video games or skipping a couple nights of drinking per month.

Eat a bag of pistacios a day I promise you you will gain 50lbs in a year

Stop eating processed foods

>more fat

fat makes you feel full.

Eat snaks full of sugar, they'll make you feel hungrier.

this
Eat carbs, lots of it

>t. pic related

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PEANUT BUTTER SMOOTHIES

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Cook your meals. You won't "get big" by drinking a protein shake on top of your 1800 cal intake of mcburger and greasy ass pizza. Lean meats, cooked and raw vegetables along with complex carbs. 4+ meals a day for a couple months. Hell, it may as well always be bulking season for the skeleton

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>actual hardgainer
I'm akshully not like everyone else, my body doesn't follow thermodynamics and medical science!

stop making these fucking threads every fucking hour

sage, i fucking hope you die OP

are you saying that the advice I gave him to put on weight is right, or are you saying that it's wrong?

That’s not what he said. Having no appetite, poor lifelong dieting habits and a shitty metabolism makes it hard to gain muscle mass. It’s not any more permanent a condition than morbid obesity, but it’s a handicap that requires quite a bit of effort to overcome.

>''mommy im full i cant eat anymore!!!''
the absolute state of Jow Forums

Get yourself an architect gf.

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2 spoons PB, 120g oats, 1 scoop proton powder, 500ml (3,5% fat) milk. Toss it in a blender and drink it 3x/day. That's not a tasty feelgood shake, its a semi-liquid paste but it's physically drinkable. It's also a quickly prepared breakfast.
Besides, eat like a normal human being aka dont skip lunch + dinner (lunch 1000kcal + dinner at least 700).
I guarantee you, you WILL inevitably gain weight if you follow this advice.

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This is mostly good advice, as a recovering skeleton it's tempting to eat out. The calorie count is given to you and you can easily get a lot of food fast.
This is folly
The point of bulking is so that that you can grow your muscles and you need good nutrition to do this. It's also much more dependable if you can plan ahead a week or so. You need energy for the more rigorous lifting schedule you will be doing, and good home cooked meals provide this as well.
Only thing I would recommend you do differently is that unprocessed fatty meats are good and that a shake will still help bulk.

777777777777777777777

Cheeto UwU

im gonna set this as my wall paper. ill be back. god bless u user

Does such a being exist? A female architect to rival the master architect?

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I'm a vegetarian and I don't have a problem eating the 3400 calories/day that I'm trying to now. Come on man. You could drink two shakes a day to get you to over 2k alone.

I'm a skelly myself. used to weigh 140ish. started effing around at the gym and eating a bit more, and hovered around 145-150 for a long time. About 5 weeks ago I really started hammering down and began eating 3400 calories/day + working out more consistently, I have weighed in at 156lbs the last few times at scale and my lifts are increasing steadily.

You can't expect massive gains immediately, it'll be a slow process, but it will only begin once you put the work in. My goal is to hit 165lbs by the end of the year, it isn't a huge goal, but it's doable and I'll do it.

Whole wheat pasta, whole wheat bagels, peanut butter, milk, rice, beans, cereal, mass gainer, shakes, pizza, cheese. All easy to eat and full of calories and even protein.

Mashed Potatoes and Bread, you're welcome

would like to know myself

currently weigh 123lbs with a bmi of 17.5

XD SCHNOZE HAHA XD

An I the only one who looks at these people and think "I wish I was him, I could start lifting all over again"

Make those 2 grilled cheese, and fuck the milk, make some eggs and sausages.

Grass is always greener on the other side. Could always do a cut and drop your weights a bit

Behold lanklet, the holy Grail of dirty bulk.

Even Michael Phelps will gain weight with this shit.

2600 calories. Fuck. Yeah. bro.

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Exposed in one post, how did you know I'm starting to develop a pudgy belly from bulking kek. I don't care though, I'm hitting 1/2/3/4 this year by force.

I think I'm in love

Make milkshakes. Gallon of milk a day and a pint of icecream a day. If you can't do that, do half of both

Jesus fucking Christ, no wonder there’s so many fatasses in this country

But those macros are terrible even for a dirty bulking food

He wanted mass.
I provided mass.
Never said anything about health.
Baskin Robbins don't play that shit nigga.
Get the fuck outta here.

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Bump

I feel it too

7 eggs and 2? chickens for breakfast.

Twitch memes

Best of luck Jow Forumsizen

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>eating all that shit in one sitting
I almost feel sorry for vegans

Force feed yourself you anorexic sissy.