When are ya gonna give your mother and me grandchildren, Champ? Everyone has kids, Champ. Having kids gives you a sense of achievement and someone who'll take care of you when you get old. Why the glum face? Oh, I know: Girl trouble. Champ, that Lacey girl wasn't laughing at you; she was laughing with you. Girls like a confident guy with a winning smile. And introducing yourself is as simple as walking up to her, handing her a bouquet of flowers, giving her a firm handshake, and telling her that you're not letting go until she comes with you to the school dance.
Don't gimme any of this mularkey about your looks or height. Girls will practically be chasing a handsome fella like you when you crawl outta your shell, Champ.
What if I don't want kids because I'm not having a good time on this planet and don't want anyone else to follow in my footsteps?
Adrian Stewart
Don't gimme any of that nonsense. Everyone has kids, Champ. Having kids gives you a sense of achievement and makes you more responsible. They'll be your legacy even long after you're gone, and it ensures that someone will be around to take care of you when you're old. But you don't get there with milk and cookies, Champ. You've gotta be a go-getter like your friend Chud or Chaz or whatever his name was.
And it's as simple as finding a nice girl, handing her a bouquet of flowers, giving her a firm handshake, and telling her that you're not letting go until she comes with you to the school dance.
I would if I could dad, but the problem is I don't actually know where kids come from or how they're made, you never gave me "the talk".
So I could find a girl but that doesn't magically summon kids.
Caleb Ward
Champ, finding a nice girl to settle down with is as simple as walking up to her, handing her a bouquet of flowers, giving her a firm handshake, and telling her you're not letting go until she agrees to go with you on a date. You've just gotta crawl outta that thick shell o'yours, Champ!
"Champ, I know you may be in denial, but finding a nice girl is as easy as walking up to her, giving her a firm handshake, and telling her that you're not letting go until she comes with you to the school dance. I'll even bring your mother along. We could have a double date!"
"Who knows? She might be that special gal with whom you'll have kids someday. And having kids is important because it passes on the family genes, carries on the family legacy and name, and ensures that someone will be there to take care of you when you get old. Heh, when you have kids of your own, you'll be giving them this exact same pep-talk when they're down in the dumps."
Lacey is the love of my life. But I don't know if I can do it. You remember those dark times? You visited me then. in the looney bin?
They still huant me. they're right over the hill, I can see it dad. i can still see it. and i dont know how much longer i can bare it. not even for her dad, not even for you.
>ensures that someone will be there to take care of you when you get old
Keep living in your delusions, old man.
Brayden Nelson
"Champ, all that says to me is that you need a kick in the keyster to get you going. It's never too late to a find a nice girl to start a family with, Champ! Having kids is important because it gives you direction, a sense of achievement, and someone who'll take care of you when you get old. Introducing yourself to that special someone is as simple as walking up to her, giving her a firm handshake, and telling her that you're not letting go until she comes with you to the school dance. You'll be amazed how quickly you sweep her off her feet."
"Heh. WHEN you have kids of your own running around the house, you'll be giving them this exact same pep talk, Champ."
When you fall in the shower, I'm not going to help you up.
Charles Scott
Meeting girls, Champ? That's easy. You've gotta walk up to them, give 'em a firm handshake, and tell 'em you're not letting go until she accompanies you to American Bandstand. Worked for me back in '75. WHEN you have kids of your own, you'll be giving them this exact same pep talk.
But dad, girls can't approach a guy and give him a bouquet of flowers and a handshake to get a relationship.
Adrian Lopez
Champ, finding the girl of your dreams is as easy as walking up to her, handing her a bouquet of flowers, giving her a firm handshake, and telling her you're not letting go until she agrees to go out with you to dinner. No, those girls weren't laughing at you, Champ; they were laughing with you. A handsome go-getter like you will be sweeping 'em off their feet once you crawl outta that thick shell of yours.
"Excuses, schmuses, Champ. Back in my day, those were just another way of saying that you needed to man up and crawl outta that thick shell of yours. Come now, Champ. I'll take you to this nice generic-looking coffee shop. See, you've gotta take it slow and play it cool, Champ. Who knows? That special someone might be just around the corner. And when you see her, it's as easy as giving her a firm handshake and telling her you're not letting go until she accompanies you to dinner.
"Oh, isn't that your old friend Thad or Chud or Chazz from high school, the one who used to call you funny names on the way to school, pulling up in the parking lot in that Corvette? Boys will be boys, I guess. And that girl who's with him looks suspiciously like the one you kept talking about -- the one with the weird name. I think her name was 'way-foo' or 'Juannatitis' or something. Don't be rude, Champ. Go over there and say, 'hello.'"
Dad, shut it. I don't like women, I hate them. They're all thots now, can't you see that?
Camden Sanders
Champ, finding a nice girl is as easy as walking up to her, handing her a bouquet of flowers, giving her a firm handshake, and telling her you're not letting go until she goes with you out to dinner. It's all about being confident, Champ. You've gotta crawl outta that thick shell of yours.
It didn't work, dad. I asked three girls but they said they're already going to the dance with Thad, Chaz, and Chudley. The only girl left is Marissa Shelton, but she's a great big fat girl. What do I do?
Finding a nice girl is as simple as walking up to her, handing her a bouquet of flowers, giving her a firm handshake, and telling her that you'd like to take her out to dinner. It's that simple, Champ! Heh, girls will practically be chasing you once you crawl outta your shell.
I'd love to get some children of my own dad, but no one wants to touch me. I'd make a great hit man though, no one notices me ..
Jaxon Nelson
>tfw dad went from asking for grandkids and shit to telling me to go fuck sluts and throw them to the curb Divorce does crazy shit to people man. Like when a woman says or does literally anything his eyes start fucking glowing red.
Eli Garcia
You know very well that I would rather masturbate to cartoon depictions of anthropomorphic animals.
Thomas Flores
Don't beat yourself up, Champ. Everyone has kids, so will you. See, you've gotta take it slow and play it cool, Champ. Who knows? That special someone might be just around the corner. And when you see her, it's as easy as giving her a firm handshake and telling her you're not letting go until she accompanies you to dinner.
WHEN you have kids of your own, you'll be giving them this exact same pep talk.
"Never give up, Champ. Finding a girl and not being a degenerate weirdo is all about crawling outta that shell of yours, standing up straight, giving her a firm handshake, and asking her out to dinner. No, we've been over this before: those cartoon girls don't count, Champ. How hard could it be? Who knows? You'll someday find that lucky gal with whom you'll raise a family. And raising a family is important because it continues the family legacy and ensures that someone will be around to take care of you when you're old."
"Just be sure to wash your hands first before you extend your hand out for a handshake."
Jayden Flores
What if she doesnt have hands, dad?
Joseph Baker
Champ, you'll never find a nice girl unless you crawl outta that thick shell of yours. And it's as simple and easy as walking up to her, giving her a firm handshake, and telling her you're not letting go until she goes to the movies with you. Here's $.25 -- that ought to be enough to get you both in for a single show. I don't know why you're making this any harder than it's supposed to be, Champ.
I hope you're right dad as there are no girls working the night shift with me and I need my sleep which is all day to have the energy to work all night again.
Kevin Moore
Excuses are for quitters, Champ. And I didn't raise a quitter; I raised a Champ! I got my job down at the factory by rucking twelve miles through a blizzard just to get to the interview after my Mustang wouldn't start. It was the worst snowstorm in state history and when I got there, the manager was so impressed that he shook my hand and hired me right on the spot. And I nearly lost my hands to frostbite that day, so don't tell me about how bad you've got it.
Finding a nice girl won't give me the necessary skill to become the greatest sorcerer who ever lived, dad.
Angel Wright
Champ, back in my day, that was just another way of saying you need a kick in the keyster to get you going. Now finding a nice girl and being a productive member of society is as simple as going up to her, giving her a firm handshake, and telling her you're not letting go until she accepts your invitation to dinner. Can't be all that bad, Champ. A handsome fella like yourself ought to get any dame he wants.
I'm not dad, besides I saw that exact comment to user yesterday when he complained he had no job, which I'm not. How can I meet a girl at the graveyard shift, I never was quitting just limited by my sleep schedule.
Easton Sanders
The only firm handshake I'm gonna give is to the Duke of Hell in exchange for Invisibility.
1. I hate kids. 2. I never want to be married. 3. I've barely enjoyed my own life as a man in his late twenties. Why cut it short with those self-made prisons? 4. I don't want to pass down my genetics. Too many diseases and crap genes, especially with my premature balding at age 21.
Austin Hill
"Champ, don't be ridiculous: You're not balding. A little off the sides, and presto! You're ready for a night on the town!"
"Whaddya mean it'd look better if you shaved it, Champ? Champ, you'd look like a criminal and no one would wanna hire you. Besides, you're not balding. You just need to STYLE IT! The girls love it when you sweep your hair over to the side like that!"
My dad had said all of this till I was 27. Around then my cousin announced his 4th kid by 3rd baby mama. He was a high school drop out who had trouble scrapping together 2 pennys and never had a job for longer than a week. I had gotten my masters earlier that year, had a job, my own place and things and some money in the bank. I think it broke him that I was successful on paper but hadn't had a girlfriend in years while the failure of the family couldn't keep women off him.
Dylan Parker
I love Champposting. It makes me feel like what my dad was supposed to make me feel but instead he's just never been a normal person.
Joseph Campbell
Nobody said this to me ever. I never had a father figure.
Daniel Turner
>Society 101 Eradicate the responsible ones and make the irresponsible successful.
Thomas Diaz
>(((Society))) I wonder who could possibly be pushing this agenda.
When are you gonna find a nice girl to settle down with, Champ? Having kids gives you accomplishment, makes you responsible, starts your legacy and continues the family's, and ensures that someone will be around to take care of you when you grow old. But you've gotta take it one step at a time, Champ. It's all about finding a nice girl to settle down with, and that's as easy as walking up to one, giving her a firm handshake, and refusing to let go until she agrees to go out with you to dinner.
Heh, WHEN you have kids of your own, you'll be giving them this same exact pep talk!
Hey thanks dad. I took your advice and now. I got a gf. It really was just as easy as walking up firm handshakimg a bouquet of flowers and leaving at dinner.
Josiah White
((They)) are behind everything user, make the whites weak so ((they)) can finish us off. Make sure no white males are successful and feed them guilt for something they didn't do until they become cucks. Those that get past the guilt needs to be fed drugs and made into trash Make all white females feel guilt so they pollute the gene pool with inferior dna and if they don't feel guilt, feed them drugs and make them trash ((They)) are showing their hand and we need to fight back!
Hudson Rogers
Fuck off, I was born fucked up it's not my fault. Besides, women are whores.
Eli Anderson
TO GET GIRLFRIEND, YOU MUST GIVE FIRM HANDSHAKE GIVE FIRM HANDSHAKE BUT FIRST YOU MUST HAVE GOOD JOB, YOU MUST HAVE GOOD JOB, GET A GOOD JOB
Original content? Say it ain't so. Oregano Continent
Dylan Cruz
"When life closes one door, it opens another, Champ. Why so glum, Champ? You've gotta understand that a man's priorities change as time goes on. And now that I'm done raising you and making sure everything at home's okay, my Sweetie will get my undivided attention from here on out. What's the matter, Champ? A hard-working go-getter like yourself ought to have no trouble finding a place of your own and taking care of yourself. It's all about getting outta that shell of yours, speaking with the manager about the job, giving him a firm handshake, and telling him that you'll be the best hire they'll ever make. I may be around less and less, but you're still the Champ, Champ."
Girls like guys who are complete fucks. Dont let anyone else tell you differently.
Still can't bring myself to be like that though
Thomas Gomez
>be me 28 loser living with mom >dad is dead >that rhymes lol >yesterday moms friend came over >overhear them talking >"my younger sons girlfriend is pregnant! I am gonna be a grandma now for the second time!"(they are same my age) >"now it is time for your son to give you grandkids! Isn't he planning to do it with his girlfriend?" >nervous haha by my mom >"hahaha, I don't think so. I kinda accepted I will never have grandkids"
Xavier Lewis
>the only reason im a KV is because im too nice!
sure it is. whatever stops you from bringing dad's gun to school
imagive how delusional you have to be to believe in pic related
Elijah Williams
>WHEN you have kids of your own My dad does this exact shit and it upsets me so much. I'm 25 and I'm still a virgin, how can you be so sure that I will have kids?
My life is a fucking meme.
Brandon James
Champ, WHEN you have kids of your own, you'll sit back and laugh at how right your old man turned out to be. But before you get there, you've gotta meet the right girl first. And doing that is as simple and easy as looking her in the eye, giving her a firm handshake, and handing her a bouquet of flowers. Can't get any simpler than that, Champ.
"Champ, blaming others is the quitter's way out. And I didn't raise a quitter; I raised a Champ! Now, finding a nice girl is as easy as walking up to her, handing her a bouquet of flowers, giving her a firm handshake, and telling her you're not letting go until she goes with you out to dinner. It's all about being confident, Champ. You've just gotta crawl outta that thick shell of yours"
