Let’s make up lies to tell normies about how we stay fit

>mfw I actually eat half a jar of peanut butter to gain weight

>It's all just hard work and discipline

>I eat 5 cups of activated almonds

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I just do some push-ups and sit-ups after I wake up

You guys don't already do that? When asked about my muscles I always say I just do a few pushups and eat pizza, only to my close friends I tell the truth

>butt chugging protein powder gives it a higher rate of bio-availability so it'll get into your muscles easier

Cardio 5 days a week

Noone notices that I lift

Based.

Welcome to Jow Forums

Yes, you are doing it right

This is 4channel newfriend, maybe try

kek

We have a symbiotic relationship with trannies and fuck them and suck away their testosterone for gains so they have less of it and we get bigger and stronger so everyone is happy.

“hey user have you been lifting weights”

“haha no I just do some yoga and swimming everyone once in a while so I can build a natural physique, plus I heard weight lifting is super bad for your joints”

Based
Cringe

Trying hard to fit in i see

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The japanese are such szoyboys that their language subconsciously enrages you and increases your testosterone level. So watching anime every day and watching hentai before working out doubles your testosterone levels.

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Eat your cum to recuperate testosterone

>I just take 800mg of zinc everyday. Never lifted a weight in my life.

Yikes

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I dont exercise, i love buffets, my muscles are genetic.

I train muay thai and lift so when people ask me what I train I just say muay thai. They usually follow up with "but you go to the gym at the side?" Seems the average guy knows a little about fitnes

Very based 9/10
Obvious and excellent. 8/10
Still saying you make an effort 5/10
Extremely based and redpilled. Here you not only provide troll advice but completely deny your intentionality of following any plan to build a body. 10/10

>played ball in highschool

keked

Gym? Nah I just add a scoop of protein powder to my morning coffee

I'd do this if the sweetener in the powder wasn't unbearably sweet

it also has to be this specific brand that I happen to be selling :^)

I eat one plum a day, and do 10 body weight squats every and 5 pushups 3 times a day

Bumping. Don’t let this beautiful idea die.

"Just some push ups and pull ups every now and then" is literally all i tell.

I just do some pushups, drink a lot of water and walk to work every so often, it's just my genetics I think.

based

>I just jog and do push up bro.

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>I do power walking with dumbbells in my hands to train my legs and and arms simultaneously

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>"wow user you're pretty strong, how'd you get to that level?"
>i drink breastmilk from pregnant mothers to boost my test levels and i also drink my own cum haha lol strength training is a meme it doesnt work bro

>I go to crossfit gym

I say I do 70 push ups every morning and lead a generally active life.
How is that excuse? On one hand, it's an impressive amount of push ups for a normal person and also hints at actually having an eventful, healthy life. On the other hand, I still admit I make some effort. I also say I eat a lot of animals, that might trigger some people.

Unironically I've convinced my normie friends from uni that I'm le untrained chad and they believe me.

Supposedly I don't lift or do any exercise at all, but the only things I eat are macaroni and the occasional big mac and this somehow makes me build muscle and look athletic, and normies actually buy it. You'd be suprised at how ignorant most people are when it comes to fitness, as long as you mog them you can get away with telling them anything

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This webm can't not make me laugh

Listen up, summerfag...
99% of the people who ask what your "secret" is to being fit are just lazy magazine browsing cunts who are looking for that "low-effort high-reward" recipe that doesn't exist. As soon you tell them the truth, they'll immediately lose interest and zone out while you wastefully blabber on about your strict diet and training routine. Because deep down they all already know this but refuse to face the truth.

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I eat a full bowl of pepperoni pasta every day, right before working out. Pork is a superfood that activates all my muscles, therefore fueling them perfectly to create more muscle as I workout

He said to lie

Honestly? Once I started hating women, it just came naturally

Based and BroPilled

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I'm totally in for that flexing while shitting
>good hamstring stretch
>abs work out from the flexing, also correct your posture
>breathing technique to generate force
>train your butt hole (and don know how, you make up the science) which helps your gluteus maximus overall

doing a lot of abs will make you lose abdominal fat

My dinner consists of diet coke, peanut butter and pea sandwhiches with a bowl of horse-raddish & low fat mayo.

Every day without fail.

Based. I start back at uni pretty soon, how do I meme all the dyels in the uni gym into doing SS+GOMAD?

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Kek

>Well just crossfit once a week
>Just few weighted burpees every other day

1/2
The ancient Chinese were very aware of the benefits of practicing the mantra now known as "the mantra of strength".
Unlike meditation, which also uses mantras, the dubbed mantra of strength is one of the most effective ways of making your workout more effective.
If done correctly, it can reap surprisingly good results.
>What is it?
The "mantra of strength" is a way to channel your inner chakras (in scientific, materialistic terminology neural pathways) to work more optimally to produce muscle mass and improve the workout routine. Some studies suggest it increases the testosterone levels up by 40%, although some claim by only 25%.
This is a very neglected area many western people are still unaware of today.

>How to
Needs to be practiced before and after (but not required) every workout.
Step one: Take three very deep breaths. This is required to make sure enough oxygen enters the brain.
Step two: Begin to hum. Humming is a great way of calming down and improving your focus. Make sure you are loud enough for it to take full effect.
Step three: Enter "child's pose". Continue to hum with your mouth closed and enter the child's pose position. With this your blood will enter your head improving circulation.
Step four: Begin your mantra. A common mistake many make here is that they say their mantra with their mouth open and quietly. You need to be loud but say your mantra with your mouth closed. The vibrations around your mouth will make you more alert and improve focus on your workout. The mantra can be anything you want, but make sure it pertains to strength. A popular one is "Give me strength". Try to imagine how strong you will be once you finish this workout. This will give you more motivation.
Step five: Be confident. Don't worry about interrupting people. Make sure to inform them of your practice, or even try to have a discussion about how beneffitial this practice is. The more people do this together, the better. There's nothing better than having a supportive, good company helping each other out.
Step six: Don't give up. At first it may seem as if this does not work at all. But fear not - like with meditation, this mantra will be more effective as time passes. The brain needs to rewire itself to make this mantra take it's full effect. Imagine your brain is a muscle that needs to strengthen. The same applies here.
Good luck!

Haram and kufrpilled

this is good bullshit that people would actually eat up

I've been hitting mad (yoga/Zumba/water aerobic) classes bro

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In reality lifting is fun and addicting

>I train full body 3 days a week

My favorite is still
>I walk my turtle a couple of times a week
-user

>haha yeah I just switched to a plant based diet, there’s more protein available since it isn’t processed secondhand by animals

>oh, i used to play [sport]

>lemon juice every night to fix my blood alkalinity

they zone out because what they want to hear is "i dont even try im just naturally fit" to make themselves feel better about their shitty diets, and unattractive bodies. they need to think you dont try at all because it excuses their crap attempts at finest like fad diets and those weird diet drinks that come in those glass vials

>i don't lift weights with my arms, I just masturbate a lot

If you really want to fuck with them say you do a vegan diet and crossfit

>You'd be suprised at how ignorant most people are when it comes to fitness, as long as you mog them you can get away with telling them anything
Do you like taking advantage of guiliable people and decieve them into an unhealthy like in their old age possibly making them die of a horrible disease?

exercise literally damages your body's ability to build muscle

>chocolate diet

>>I eat half a jar of peanut butter per day
I actually do eat a lot of peanut butter.

>not exclusively using the classic "wii fit and zumba class"

Not him but yes.

If they're too retarded to look into fitness routines and what is actually healthy for themselves they deserve everything they get. Just because Jenifer at works tells me being gluten free is sooo much better for me doesn't mean I'm going to take some nobodies word on it and immediately cut all bread from my life. People like you are the reason dumb asses win lawsuits on shit that should be common sense.

anons, all those you posted do work when you are ottermode, but im decently jacked and last time i tried the zumba one, i got laughed on by fellow normies, give something better

>I eat a quart of cottage cheese every day, walk everywhere, and pray three times a day. Oh, and I play with a Wii in my downtime.

>People like you are the reason dumb asses win lawsuits on shit that should be common sense
Are you a sociopath of something? Taking advantage of people's low IQ is the same as raping a paralytic and saying it's ok because the bitch should have known better

>give something better
Whole food plant based vegan diet and crossfit + jacking off 6 times a day with each arm (optional)
Trust me

I start eating bull penis for lunch and dinner, they have more protein than chicken and are proven to increase testosterone level

At work I eat 4-5 bars of various chocolate shit.
500-700 kcal depending on brand for snacks

I always tell them I‘m doing a „sugar bomb diet. Sugar carbs have extreme density and give you energy better than caffeine“

It’s hard hitting your macros when 1/4th of your daily intake mo-fr is shit, but it’s worth it making the fatties mad

Especially those who never eat anything „unhealthy“ at work trying to pityparty themselves „I always eat healthy but never lose weight“

Yeah fuck off James, we all know you hit starbucks on the way home

Farmers walks are actually a great exercise tho

That technically works, your body burns calories trying to cool itself down. It's not worth getting heat stroke over.

Where do you think you are

>he doesn't inject himself dish soap mixed with flour
>Has to have collagen tho
Not gonna make it

The secret the workout industry doesn't want you to know is the benefits of eating potato fruits. They're a secret superfood that is rarely made because potatoes can reproduce asexually, but only relatively recently are the benefits like their surprisingly high protein value are becoming known. They're not too hard to get a hold of, just breed two different strains of potato and you'll have a bunch of them growing on your potato plants. Then, you can either eat them raw or cook them with your new potato roots and enjoy a high-nutrient meal that can get you great gains in a day!

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devious. i like it.

Same bruhs. Sometimes I open a jar of peanut butter and I just can't stop. It's the only time I relate to fatlards who can't stop stuffing their faces.

Eating road kill

They make powdered peanut butter. You could probably eat more of it that way. Could be cheaper too.

Or you could just invest in weight-gain shakes. Like 1200 calories per scoop and they taste fucking delicious.

>I do 5x5 on compounds and then lighter hypertrophy work on isolation/accessory lifts

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Well if if you must really know... you gotta promise to listen all the way. Okay so they give cows growth hormone so they can produce meat quicker. So I go to mcdonalds 5x a day eating big macs because mcdonalds gives their cows a 10x higher growth hormone dose for super quick and cheap meat, so if you go 5x a day enough of the hormone will be left over and it is the same as steroids, you don't even have to work out. That's my secret dude I'm 100% cereal.