Self-harm urges come back after a day and half of not feeling like utter shit

>self-harm urges come back after a day and half of not feeling like utter shit
I'm sick of having to buy bandages all the time, but if I don't put them on I get blood all over my sheets. I get such a rush seeing myself bleed though.

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its so yummy to lick your blood isnt it
try not using bandages, pussy

But then my sheets get crusty with blood, since I cut in the evening... I can rarely be bothered to wash them, I can at least avoid turning them into a murder scene.

just use some piece of clothing to clean your wounds, like everyone else, stop being so dramatic.

bandages is bloat and unnecessary, keep it minimal to avoid the hassle of getting out of the house.

You make a good point about not having to leave the house as much if I stop buying bandages. I'll consider this.

What else do you do in your life besides being mentally handicapped?

I'm in college. I waste time online. That's pretty much it.

isn't it a little bit edgy to self-harm and attend college? How do you reconcile that?

What do you mean by that? I don't think the two have much to do with each other.

Well, people don't notice?

No. I wear long sleeves and don't talk to people. I spend most of my time in my dorm anyways.

What do you enjoy to waste time on?

Watching youtube or anime, reading, browsing Jow Forums, talking on discord, listening to music

thats pretty much me except the discord and the anime. I am equally worthless. Do you think about suicide often?

Yes. I've never attempted it though and don't have any plans to, I just fantasize about it. Do you?

I feel there is nothing for me to do here. I only feel emptiness. I feel I am close.

show pictures of the cuts

A few from last week.

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How do they look now?

They've faded pretty well

Nice. If cutting is a way to cope for you, then do it, but try not to go any deeper or else it will leave nasty scars.

Has anyone caught you cutting before? Origgg

Nope, never. I always make sure to hide it well. The only person in real life who knows I do it is my therapist (unless some stranger has seen them by accident or something). I kept it a total secret for years.

I have some scars. I've been going deeper lately, but keep the deep ones on my thighs where they're less obvious.