I am a woman 25v. Over 10 years of diagnosis was depression, now diag. major depression. In addition, anxiety disorder. I have not received any correspondence school, I started high school and vocational school two lines. I have a good certificate and I am not stupid, I follow social issues, I read a lot and would like to be useful. I always start with the school's enthusiasm and maybe I can do it for quite some time, but at some point I always collapse and my studies are interrupted. Now, last fall I started a school which I thought was a dream-forte, however, collapsed totally after the turn of the year and I have been on sick leave since then.
I have no friends, friends fell out after high school when others graduated from there and went elsewhere to study and do a career. I have a "male friend" with whom I sometimes see, but he doesn't want to commit. In relation to my hangover, because it is my only social contact and I even get intimacy from time to time. My parents and siblings live in another community and I always see them. I know that my father is ashamed of me even though it may not look like, my mother is pretty understanding but I know she will be disappointed too. I've always dreamed of his own family, and it's been kind of the last thing which has kept me together; that sometimes i get married and i can be a mom, i have my own family. But who would want children with me? Why would anyone take my wife or mother as a mother? I'd probably be a bad mother of hell.
I have the feeling that I have tried enough. I've tried more than ten different types of medicine, meditating, exercised, have exposed myself to oppress those situations, struggled with all my strength I did not marginalized and forced myself to his last forces eg. School. When have you tried enough? Because you can give up? What reasons could I have to stay alive?
>i have mental illnesses lol give me attention silly boys no you dont, fuck off faggot
Chase King
What do you want to hear from us? I know you're feeling like you have no other options but there is always a solution. You just have to find it. Instead of medication try different types of diet, try a fecal transplant, try alternative and upcoming methods to treat depression. It's not over yet.
Also just curious, where are you from?
Adrian Sanders
To add to this, there's also research going on for ketamine treatments that are supposed to relieve symptoms of major depressive disorder.
Josiah Ortiz
Seems more a case of needing to accept yourself desu. As long as you are willing stay dedicated and not let your depressing have bearing on the kids I do not see schooling relevant for being a good mother.
And yeah your english is .. interesting. Work on that and read more in that language. I expect guys can be as much of a headache as females, but a relationship with your hangover seem excessive.
Kevin Nguyen
I tried suicide several times in my teens, OP. And sometimes the situation is so bleak I didn't really have an answer but I do now. And it is flat and simply that I don't want to play that lottery. I have no fucking idea what happens when you die, and for all I know it may be the most horrible thing out there. And yes I know being alive is sometimes awful too. You go to bed crying and you wake up cursing that you did. But even that is preferable to me than just gambling with eternity. Life has its little pleasures even at its grimmest, savour it.
>But who would want children with me? Why would anyone take my wife or mother as a mother? I'd probably be a bad mother of hell. I know a guy whose mother has depression and she did an alright job.
Dylan Collins
then fucking kill yourself already and stop trying to get sympathy whore. We aren't gonna worship you just cause you're a sad wamen.
Adam Diaz
idk if genuine or ewhore but just get some orbitters nigger
Kayden Martin
Do you think OP is cute enough personality-wise to get orbiters?
Landon Cruz
doesnt matter fren, as long as its a real she and not some trannynigger
Parker Adams
absolutely not if they are pulling this shit to get love.
Xavier Ward
Just get your shit together already, jesus christ.
You literally just keep trying until it works. I have known NEET with crippling anxiety due to abuse that have slowly crawled their way out of it. It's just something you have to do.
Isaiah Long
I recommend getting a blood test and scanning for inflammations. Depression is sometimes a response to inflammation, and if it advanced in you as you claim it did, check your health bar for any irregularities. See if your depression is environmental or is it truly because of chemical imbalance in your brain. If it's environmental then start lingering on your problems, think about them often. It works very much like a math problem, it's difficult, annoying, feels like you will never find a solution and yet you're bound to find a solution if you start working on it, it is inevitable.
Think about how you view the world, what will be in the future, what can you do and what you want to do. And most importantly what you want to get rid of. Do these things preferably outside in a park with a nice view, nice air, or while traveling in a vehicle and you're not the one driving, riding a bike. This is not meditation, this is an efficient method to find the root of the problem. Perhaps something you hate but will not admit it yourself. Perhaps too high expectations. Perhaps wanting to stay idealistic in a rotting world.
And for what reason to stay alive for? You struggled for 25 years, you got this far and you still have a lot of opportunities in life. If you wanted to commit suicide you should've done it before 16. Giving up at this point is outrageous.
Asher Edwards
I have a crush on her, so maybe?
Robert Gray
She sounds Finnish.
t. user from Finland
Camden Miller
>you will never fuck the depression out of OP and give her a trial by fire at becoming a mom
David Morris
Finnish people are cute. "Bad mother of hell" is a cute phrase.
Jaxon Thomas
Maybe school and career aren't for you like for the most women. Dont take it too serious you're failing at that stuff. Try going for something that makes fun for you, maybe you'll find a good guy who wants to make a family for you. Career is a false god and only a necessity for achiving the real goals
Blake Martin
You're already on the right track with animeposting towards an e-bf and/or orbiters.
Sebastian Long
Hundreds of people would pay to fly you out and impregnate you
Jordan Wood
>I have a "male friend" with whom I sometimes see >and I even get intimacy from time to time Look at this roastie.
Camden Bennett
Fuck you bitch. You just want orbiters like every dumb e-whore here. Slit your wrists and bleed to death
Liam Morales
I'm pretty much your male doppelgangar from your description of illness and familiar dissapointment. Sorry to hear it. It's bleak and there's never any light to guide you, you fumble in the abyss and try not to fall any further down the hole. And yet every time it happens. I wish I could give you a hug or something, but you're probably in europe or somewhere so far away I couldn't imagine getting there. Still, if you're being genuine, the hug offer stands.
Juan Gomez
>you probably need to force yourself to seek outside interaction with other shy/timid people >you need to be more determined in the things you set out to accomplish >depression drugs are a lie to yourself they make you feel shittier when you don't have them to boost your mood, instead force yourself to critique/address/deal with your issues. your pushing off your responsibility to yourself
I'm a 23 year old dude in a similar boat never had many friends in HS no college friends flunked out of college never diagnosed for heavy depression of 6 years father thinks I'm a failure mother is supportive, but i know shes heartbroken about me
My whole life feels like a failure up to this point, but one ting i found is you cannot give up EVER. If you keep dipping in and out of interest, during schooling that's just the "college slump" & you have to grind through it. Everyone faces it but you have to have determination to push through it.
With Depression... You have to make goals/priorities and never let yourself not reach your set goals or priorities. set large goals with smaller checkpoints, or vice versa
I payed back my college loans in 1 1/2 years after flunking out of college I critically analyzed my life during that time, while working a job i knew i would hate to motivate me more later when i returned I made it my goal to be more social and forced myself to change
stop feeling sorry for yourself, say I want to be ___, i'm going to do anything to reach ___ or do ___ , I won't go back to doing ___ or being ___ anymore nothing is easy, everything is work, nothing is a cake walk, if you think being a mom will solve that problem your wrong, it may give purpose but it will not solve any problems >tl;dr the only way to cure depression and the sense of being a utter failure is to combat it with every fiber of your being, everyday, you must instigate your own change and stick to your change, otherwise you'll keep falling back into the hole you climbed out of
