I am going to impulse buy a fucking cactus...

I am going to impulse buy a fucking cactus. I know I don't have the space for one to roam around enough and be super comfy in but I want one so bad because they are cute as fuck. What kind of cage should I get? What kind of food do they prefer? Can I feed frozen or only live? How should I pet my cactus so that it does not feel threatened and understands I am a friend? Do cactuses prefer to listen to Mozart or Beethoven to feel more relaxed? Please respond

Attached: 91gAHOrdAfL._SR500,500_.jpg (500x500, 20K)

You aren't worthy of owning a cactus if you say "cactuses" like a fucking casual

thats not a cactus thats a succulent you tard

Just make sure the cage is big enough for it to stretch its needles and you should be fine. Make sure to take it out at least a few times a week so it doesn't get bored and if you want you can give it some live prey to kill. Draw the blinds when you take it out of the cage so it doesn't get confused and try to fly away.

when i started reading your post i was really excited that somebody made a thread about cacti/succulents

now i'm just disappointed

*crack*
What's up guys?
*sip*

Attached: downloadfile-2.jpg (618x410, 86K)

It'll quench ya. It's the quenchiest.

feeding frozen is actually better for them desu - they take awhile longer to digest it so they don't overindulge too much.

make sure to get one of those brushes for shedding season, and never pet against the grain of the needles

This is one of the best posts I've read. Screenshotting this.

Attached: 81jpPi-4SCL._SX425_.jpg (425x425, 38K)

Put this on /an/imals

based and sokkapilled

Attached: ois2eyr647r11.jpg (960x720, 55K)

Take it to the FUCKING VET!

please return to reddit dot com, thank you x

>Buy a cactus
>Keep watering it and draining it with a syringe
>sell it as organic cactus water for $5 a can

I love succulents can we have a succulent thread
I have one that looks a lot like pic related except its green and I forgot what its called but its super qt

Attached: 4FC98331-785E-4C94-86B4-D8E17B037E73.jpg (225x192, 16K)

I had a peace lily from like 2009 to 2016. First few weeks I had it all the flowers went, I read online it only had them because of chemicals & artificial light the plant nurseries give them. I wasn't bothered. That thing survived with me for 7 years, I was proud. Then one day I realised there were little insects crawling around in the soil and I tossed it. Don't know where they came from.

I also bought succulent houseplants a couple of years ago from the supermarket, pretty small ones, they were discounted to a very low price. They had little white insects on them from the get go (noticed them as soon as I got home with the plant they were so small I thought they were mould at first) and I tossed them. I have no luck with house plants.

its not an impulse buy if your thinking this much about it before buying it.

Good thing you are putting a lot of planning in your impulse buy. Very responsible, the best impulse decisions are thoroughly planned. I like that.

FYI cactuseses are allergic to crickets but they LOVE rolly pollies. I kept mine in on a strict diet and flowered eventhough it was male. They say a cactus has the intelligence of a 4 year old kid so make sure you keep it indoors and engage with it, don't just leave it in your backyard where the only time you see it is to provide water or food

I had two large-ish bonsai pots, one rectangular and one round. In one I planted several cacti, in another a variety of succulents. Added some rocks and a root for some variety.

I thought it was a pretty pleb idea but most people go "wow you're so creative".

The cactus one did fine, they even flower sometimes. The succulents fared slightly worse - some flourished, some died off.

I have no idea what I'm doing, I just like succulent plants.

My parents have put me in charge of landscaping their backyard. I want to put a brightly colored tree but might add a cactus here or there.

I can't spare much time to interact wirh my cactus so I simply gave it an android tablet and it seems pretty fine with it.
Just check their internet history every once in a while so you can be sure they aren't doing anything stupid.

i have a very large jade. it's pretty.

The San pedro its the best looking cactus user ;)

Tranny cactus?

Make sure you trim the quills to give it a mohawk. They love it

little insects crawling around is most likely from over watering. keep the plant in the sun and wait for the soil to dry out completely before watering. spray 70% isopropyl alcohol on those white cunts. do it daily until they fuck off completely. succulents are cool and are easy to keep alive. I have heaps.

That's fucking retarded, my friend. Why would you throw them in the garbage because of that? Were the insects spreading all over you house and biting you and shit? No? Then I guess you are a bit of an idiot, aren't you?

As the other user said, overwatering could lead to some insects in the dirt. Those tiny little insects eat mold and shit. Once the dirt dries, they all die. If you over water again, they will resurge, again, causing zero harm, in fact probably doing some good for the aeration of the soil and the health of your plant in the face of being over-watered. I know it's a bit of an overreaction, but I would like for you to kill yourself because I cannot stand stupidity and I especially cannot stand irrationality and impulsiveness

Attached: 120892_10big.jpg (682x1024, 154K)

I want make a plant as my bf
Im imaginary trap

>throwing a plant out because there are springtails in the soil from overwatering

please don't make this mistake fellow anons
those insects get rid of decomposing matter which increases from overwatering

>t. passing botanist