What skills would you bring to this company?

>What skills would you bring to this company?

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Here are your nudes and home address

my dick

lurrr

Let me have a word with your supervisor

I'll bring the skills of an Employee

the skills of barely tolerating this job for 8 hours a day for minimum wage.
also, there's a chance i'll do something bad for your company if you do me too much stress.

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I just walked into a panel interview the other day. It makes me really wonder what makes people think their company more valuable than another.

Have you got a copy of my resume? Pretty sure your recruiter should have sent you one, Mr Thundercock.

Absolutely none. Please just give me a fucking job

I can grow potatoes in pots

I make up my own insults.

I give very firm handshakes

Stop giving meme answers, you dibbaloabs.

Because I know you cheat on your wife and do cocaine on weekends when you say you're at a meeting.

We done here?

That's my boy, go get em, champ

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i bring the poopie

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The sour ones. *brap*

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I can't believe I actually got hired though. I was asked the classic 'Where do you see yourself in 5 years' and I literally said
>If I was a child I'd answer 'astronaut' or something exciting. But I study electrical engineering so I'll probably sit at a desk and do some electrical engineering.
When I finished, I realized I was staring at the table and my voice had turned really quiet. Both interviewers (female) fell completely silent for a few seconds which I found very unsettling because I had nothing else to add.

That was about 6 months ago. Back then, every minute of my life was consumed with the nagging thought of "Existence is pain. I wish I was dead."
I don't know if the interviewers picked up on that, but any scenario I can think of, that answer alone should've invalidated me from getting the position.

Skills? I am giving you my time in exchange for money, nothing more and nothing less.

>what hobbies do you have
>where do you see yourself in 5 years
>why should we hire YOU in our super cool company

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>what hobbies do you have

I like to comfort people with a multitude of illnesses, such as autism, depression and retardation

>where do you see yourself in 5 years

Either working here or dead in a ditch

>why should we hire YOU in our super cool company

I have some really cool pokemon cards and I got 200+ pics of a green frog on my pc

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Is the hobbies question to be a hard question? To the 5 years question, just say in a financial better situation and further education. Why they should hire me (you)? the company is looking for a problem solver and that's me.

a 10 inch cock for your wife

l'm gay and black.

masturbating isnt a hobby. theres nothing else I regularly do

and the best DBFZ player in the world ? oh wait ...

I hate job interviews, don't you have my CV and degrees ? Why should I prove my talents at dicksucking your stupid company

It's easy to get a hobby other than masturbating. I am doing programming ,electrical engineering, biking, cooking. Just try stuff out and you'll find something. Technical hobbies are plus points for job interviews by the way, I think that was one major reason the company I work for approved me.

It's not about your talents it's about your personality and work ethic. They are trying to figure out who you are. That's why they sometimes ask shitty questions, to get your reaction and see if you become nervous or keep calm because that's a good way to find your strengths and weaknesses