Ok, I've got a question for fembots. I'm a 20 yo guy with managable aspies. Right now, I want nothing more than to be in a loving relationship. I want a romantic/emotional relationship rather than a sexual one. Don't get me wrong, I'm not asexual, a sexual aspect to the relationship something I look for as well, but I'd far more want that emotional/romantic connection over a purely sexual one. How do I find girls like that? I've considered tinder and stuff, but again, I'm not looking for a purely sexual relationship. I am a virgin, but I really don't care about losing my virginity. I'd much rather just have a cute gf that I can cuddle with and go on dates with. Problem is, I have no idea how to do romantic conversation or initiation. I can talk to women just fine in a friendly or work setting. But I have no idea how to ''hit'' on women. How do you do it? I do want to show some initiative but I'm absolutely horrendous at picking up signals so I don't know if I'm doing ok or not. I'm not ''stacy's'' either (or really basic bitches, if that's how you want to call it). I just want someone that has a nice personality I can be honest with.
TLDR; need some tips on where and how to find a gf to have a loving emotional and romantic relationship with.
Don't hit on them. We need to start you out on the basics.
Start a conversation with them
Nathan Morales
>But I have no idea how to ''hit'' on women. Good. You shouldn't be doing that anyway.
Joseph Kelly
>asking for advice on r9k There's your first mistake lad
Blake Barnes
I tried that. That's how I'd want it to begin with.
For example, about a month ago I saw a post of a frustrated fembot that had trouble connecting with people. We got into a discord convo to talk about it, since I did want to genuinely be there for someone. I didn't talk about anything romantic or sexual, just personal stuff, like music and career prospects and all that, right? I told her if she needed anything, or anything to vent about, just to say it, because I really don't judge people for anything, and I really try to care. But the fact that I'm horrible at picking up signals is biting me every time. I'm self aware that I'm bad at it. That's why I see possible signals where perhaps there are none. The convo went silent after she went to sleep and after that, on some days I tried to just reignite the convo, just say hi and talk about stuff. But now, it's been almost 3 weeks, and she hasn't sent me anything. I'm not sad about it, but I just don't know what the problem is, or if there even is one. Is she ignoring me? Has she forgotten about me? Is she genuinely interested or is she just replying out of courtesy? I can't tell, and it's a major issue for me.
It happens with everyone to a degree but it really frustrates me.
Andrew Scott
The second you open your mouth, people instantly know you're a sperg. It's a rigged game. t. Sperg
Adrian Phillips
I'm asking here since girls that come here have a high chance of already having something in common with me, fe social akwardness or niche hobbies, idk. I don't really like ''exessively normal'' people.
Parker Peterson
Yes! well.
I've spotted your trouble immediately-- at least some of it, since I am fully aware that these sort of things are often more complicated than just *one* thing, such as being a sperg or an autist.
cont. in a minute, The woman next door needs a hand rolling her compost bin out
Ethan Kelly
Want to increase your chance of women liking you? Hit the gym. I know it will suck at first and hurt a ton, but if you spend an hour a day for half a year you will be more shredded than you have ever been in your life, plus healthier too.
Once you have achieved maximum muscle, just join groups where you can socialize and meet people. The best relationships start out as friendships and go from there. Just start doing things that are more social like a hiking group or something.
Jason Robinson
...sure, I could use some exercise, my bmi is 19 but I'm 0% muscle mass. My face is pretty alright as well. But that won't change the big problem that I'm missing some core fundamentals of social interaction. I want a relationship based on emotional connection and personality, not because a girl thought my abs looked nice. Again, it certainly wouldnt hurt to work out (except my wallet, for a month of gym membership with a personal trainer would cost me about 35-40 a month, oof), but that's not my main problem.
Andrew Bailey
CONT.
Firstly, you should make a strong distinction between the two main types of social interactions that you will have in your life. The sinister thing about modern technology is it offers a simulation of a real human connection, very useful for communicating and grouping up over long distances. But inadequate when it comes to the real goods. There is very little emotional investment, people are easily replaceable and interchangeable... That kind of thing is the very death of intimacy. Discords are a perfect example of that. The relationships are ultimately barren and shallow.
We need to get you outside, talking to people face to face. And before you object, this isn't something you force all that much, in terms of behavioral stuff. It happens little by little, one day at a time.
Evan Hall
Whenever you run errands, whenever you see your neighbours, getting gas, shopping for groceries, if you have a minute to lend a hand-- Whenever you run errands or do basic stuff, you're in the very task of relating to the people around you (women included) A real world conversation doesn't actually begin with words, believe it or not-- It begins with an act of recognition: A chance encounter, a shared purpose, and the embers of kinship glow. It's not just about eye contact, body language, or speech. It's about intent. Sounds like a sinister word right? A dirty one, given all that we intend in our lifetimes... But what if, just what if, our intent was simply a friendly interaction?
It's good to start small, and to understand that people are often struggling, or in pain. For some, this will make them grumpy, for others, it will make them appreciate a little relief. Others yet may be indifferent.
Julian Collins
thanks.... but that doesn't help me much. Like I said, I can talk to girls irl just fine, I talk to them just similarly to guys. It's just that, irl, I have the problem that whenever I see someone that's cute for example, I don't know if me sitting next to them, or talking to them randomly, or making gestures or whatever is appropriate. Also, I still have the huge problem with talking with no purpose
Andrew Wilson
again, I don't have severe social anxiety or anything. I can talk to strangers, women, neighbours... just fine. As long as I have a goal in mind. Talking for the sake of talking is so hard for me. The convo I mentioned with the fembot on discord was me basically asking her basic questions (how are things going, what are your plans for higher education, what music do you like, etc), and having a bit of a talk around that. But when the convo ends, I have no idea how to restart it, what to talk about, or when it's even appropriate to talk at all. I messaged her back an hour or 2 ago after 3 weeks of silence just askin ''hey, how are you?''. Did I do right? does she even want to talk to me at all? or am I just being timid and should persue a little harder? Perhaps she's just shy too. I litterally have no way to tell. That's what bothers me.
Justin Cruz
Oh! that.
Talking to people randomly is fine, in my opinion. Try to keep it shorter though. If you have a point, get to it. Make sure to give other people room to speak and you'll be fine as a sperg. Don't go off on tangents for too long.
I'm telling ya man, girls love someone who can express their ideas.
Sadly, the most important question is: Are you good looking?
Ryan Ramirez
Like I said, I'm... decent looking I'd say. I've got long hair and somehow unable to grow a beard, I guess it's just low testosterone, oof. They say it'll come by age 25. I sure hope so. Anyways, my face is a 6-7 at the very least, I'd say. But I can't be sure, there are people who claim elliot rodger is ugly as sin, while I think he's at least a 6. So, I can't be sure.
Body wise, I'm 5'8'', 62kg with virtually no muscle mass to speak of. I could work on that, like mentioned before, and thinking about it. But it doesn't solve my biggest problem.
Ian Nguyen
Put on some weight. It will solve more problems than you know, lol. Your biggest problem is your inexperience and 20-something delusions... those will pretty much evaporate on their own.
From what you've told me, the difficulty is low-- you're good looking, but skinny. You have no difficulty talking to women-- But sometimes falter when it comes to small talk. The problem is fucking simple to solve. You've just got naive notions about what is actually happening when you pursue a romantic relationship.
>Point #1: Make sure it isn't online. I feel like you glossed over that point. But it's pretty much the most important.
>Point #2: Sex is a big part of a romantic relationship: You're deluding yourself if you think otherwise. -- So when you talk to females you want a romantic relationship-- You better be intending to have sex with her.
You want a romantic/emotional rather than a sexual one? You need all three
why would somebody normal want to be in 2/3rds of a relationship?
David Scott
K, so whats your biggest problem here?
David Moore
You shouldn't ask women for advice on things like this. Also, you got things conpletely backwards. Play off the sexual energy when you meet someone you vibe well with. Preferably, sleep with her asap, then figure out whether there is an emotional connection between you.
Jaxon Hill
t. halfchad, just talk to them about the weather or something mundane until they let you know what things they like, and if you like it too let them know
Nathan Parker
yeah I get that, but I just want someone to cuddle with desu, you know? I'm not a particularly masculine man, I like cute shit, and I like to just do romantic shit I guess. If it leads to some pussy then that's a nice bonus, but I don't want meaningless sex. I can wank myself pretty well and I don't really feel like I want to go out of my way just for sex.
Josiah Wilson
You're still following your little narrative, not listening to what some of the anons have been telling you.
Know what I think? if you want to cuddle-- get a body pillow, they're much more reliable. You just come across like you're simply afraid to have sex, because you don't know how. The rest is mental gymnastics, But I don't expect you to listen, since you haven't listened to a word anyone has been telling you.
Instead you keep on ranting on about how the sex will 'be meaningless', disregarding the fact that those us who are actually experienced it.
Are saying that it's a stepping stone to the things you want, not the endgame-- So stop avoiding it. Your idealism in rooted in complete inexperience.
Liam Scott
oh no, I'm not afraid of sex, and to be honest, I think I'd be pretty ok at it, since I have some basic knowledge of foreplay, and I'm 6'' (although it does bend to the left, idk if that matters). It's not that I really don't want sex or anything, but rather it's not something I actively pursue. If it's done as a romantic act, or as a means to an end, then fine, but I'm just really not that much looking forward to it, especially since the first time will 99% certainly be with a condom. I'll probably be doing it more for her than for myself.
It's just, that innocent feeling of love I'm looking for I guess? I can see it in my parents relationship a bit, and I can also see it between my brother and his wife. They genuinely trust each other, confide in one another, etc. It's a good, loving, stable relationship. That's what I want. Not just a human sock to cum into, but a real partner.
Anthony Roberts
I would love to know answer to your problem as a fembot myself. Every male I matched with on Tinder was interested only in sex or mainly sexual relationship. I don't know where people find romantic partners, I think it's just luck.
Dylan Ramirez
You deflect everything. Can't help you, it's a waste of time.
You already know everything, and you're doing nothing wrong. No need to really listen to what anyone else is saying, unless its what you want to hear.
Blake Rogers
but, you are on tinder looking for them, then? I guess in that case, tinder would be a viable option. I've never used it before, so I don't know much more besides swiping and messaging and stuff. I'll consider it.
Eli Fisher
Yeah, the only other dating app in my country has weird algorithm (for example, it wouldn't show me males shorter than me but it had no age ranges). I would say you should at least give it a try. I think lots of women there are looking for relationship, not sex, so I am sure you would be able to find someone. Maybe consider other dating sites? If you live in America, maybe Bumble would be a better choice? Or perhaphs consider joining a club? I am joining next month to try my luck with people irl.
Brandon Perez
I live in europe (do I really need to add more bullshit to this comment for the spam filter, ffs)
