Just made a bumble. Idk how to talk to girls so speak for me

>match only twice
>they never message me
K thanks

This is my first time making a profile. I just posted a few pics of me smiling awkwardly. I hate this.

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Holy frick you are so cute user, what are you doing on this board?

>"Professional ballet dancer and pilates instructor"
>"I'm a leeching whore looking to settle after a lifetime of Tyrone and his gang running trains on me".

Translated that for you user.

Laugh in her face and tell her to roast somewhere else. You need yourself a trad-virgin wife, not a used up slut.

Didn't you know nu/r9k/ is a subreddit?

They're extremely feminist user, be careful. I got banned for stating my standards and sticking to them.

"ay bb cmere and teach me some ppilates"

>Well, I have a real passion for property. I'm a hard worker who does well in fast-paced small teams and I'm really looking for a challenge in my next position.
jesus fucking christ what does she actually want you to say?

>Professional ballet dancer and pilates instructor
Just FYI in case you are too autistic to figure this out - you should strive to go balls deep in this woman. She will be flexible beyond your widest imagination and you'll remember it for years to come.

Also remember that women fuck first, then date. But they pretend it's the opposite.

In general women move way faster than you think. 3 weeks is no time at all for me yet a woman can have an entire relationship play out with Chad over those 3 weeks.

this, sounds like a bot OP

basically user should just get into her pants and tpose on her in bed

As generic as this is I'm going to use it. What the hell why not.

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What an opener. Dating apps kinda suck bros

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>how long have you been into ballet?
are you fucking retarded nigga?

Appreciate it. I'm ok. But I'm on here because I haven't touched a female in 10 years and I'm a total robot.

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Im retarded when it comes with chatting with women. Was this hard to figure out? I'm on r9k asking for advice on this subject

Sounds like something you'd say in an interview

You can go either, but be slick about it.
>Sunrise: stuff about a new day new start etc, some clever hook about the night after or something
>Sunset: the best things happen after dark

You would be a chad in my slav country with those looks. I hope you will find a nice girl on bumble, good luck. Do your best!

Dude, you can find girls with fucking strawberry cakes or simply a grey background as profile pics. With their whole biography consisting of "Hi!"
And they will STILL get likes/swipes.

I agree. This isn't going well I gave up on that convo.

I realized I don't really feel like conversation with these women. Some are cute though and I'm lonely and touch starved as fuck.

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Send them a dick pic to seal the deal

Yvjvyvy

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Should I post face or nah

They are all whores anyway user
fuck online dating desu

I have the same problem OP. I have no clue how actual conversations go so I always get stuck in the "interview questions" stage and then when I run out of those I just run out of things to say.

You're lucky user. I've used bumble and I've only gotten 2 matches and they never sent me a reply. I'd kill too see any of my inboxes on any sites like this.

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Yah man post it.
I've had bumble for 3 hours now... And I'm not even great looking. Just an average dude.
Maybe these are mostly bots. Don't take it harshly user. I don't think online dating is a good thing

A Chad, really? Thanks for the compliment. I'm not really trying hard to get a gf but I feel after 10 years of not touching a female it's really getting to me and I feel unwell...
Like I'm missing out on a lot of happiness

Thanks man. Honestly you seem like a decent human on a site full of assholes (me not excluded) I hope you find what you are looking for.

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You're doing well regardless of the linkedin like answer

Just imagine they are Jow Forums threads and answer the simple questions to see where it goes, no clue if bumble is good or not

Yeah, was sarcasm. Her opener was like a job interview, "why do you want to work for us?"

I've gotten 50 matches on tinder in the past 2 months since I made it so I'm not totally ugly or anything but I'm just so autistic and get nowhere with any of them, and it's not like they give me much to go off of in their bios or responses; I've had to carry every conversation which I just don't know how to do because, again, autism.

you could try doing what qz.com/1247382/online-dating-is-so-awful-that-people-are-paying-virtual-dating-assistants-to-impersonate-them/ does

What do you tell your barber, user? I've a similar hairline and your cut is looking nice.

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I think my problem extends beyond just making plans or getting numbers though. Yeah, I could use cheats to set up a date or get her number but those would still be hit by the same problem; I've always been an extremely inward person with never much to say.

Been thinking about trying something like this out because I'm feeling lonely. I'm kind of stuck on a particular girl I've been seeing though, even though I'm increasingly unsure if it's going to go anywhere.

On the plus side, I don't really give a shit about other women right now so I'd probably have more success than usual... fucking annoying that's how it seems to work. Thinking about it, almost every relationship I was ever in came about because I initially wasn't making any effort to be with them.

Yeah I hate my damn hairline. I just tell her to cut it at a 3 but try to hide my temples lol.
Sorry that wasn't much help. I actually don't care for my hair much but it gets me by....
Post your hair

You can afford to be more confident, mate. Hope you find someone.

You're not a fucking robot. You're as normalfag as normalfag gets.

>in 10 years
yeah you aren't a robot

And you've got a reply already? I went like three months before I got even one.

Thank you. I hope I do too. I just want someone to do shit with. I'm so bored.

This girl say hello with a heart in the eyes emojjis..
Idk what to even say but she's cute.

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Is that the Appalachian Trail?

Get the fuck off of my board, you piece of trash

women be like personality matters to me but always opening up with how much you make lol!

>I just want someone to do shit with. I'm so bored.
I know the feeling. I thought I'd found someone briefly, completely stumbled in to it. We went hiking and stuff, it was nice. Seem to have fucked it up though. Problem is it's made me desperately lonely.

Tell her that she is cute user

Make a reference to the Before trilogy, mention that Sunset is the better movie but Sunrise would be perfect to watch on your first date

OP here. Add me on discord I'm pretty lonely. Toan 9596

There's nothing wrong with that you fucking retard, obviously she isn't looking for just back and forth flirting as designated by her initial message.

At this point I'm mainly getting hey what's up openers and I'm really not sure what to even do with them but these girls thst message me are pretty cute.

I didn't even try with this response ha

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Jesus. This women is 27 which is my exact age and she looks at least 35...

Id still fuck her tho. Anons help me get laid. She says hi there what's up.

Meant to post this screenshot

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If you'd know anything about ballet you'd know that the question is fucking retarded

You don't have to try very hard, what you're doing so far is good, bring up shit in their bio and ask them questions and get to know them.
It doesn't matter if it's a genuine question and gives them something to talk about dipshit. It opens up topics like what age she decided she wanted to do ballet and what inspired her to do so. God damn I didn't think everyone on this site was as retarded as you but I'm starting to learn otherwise.

You're pretty cool user. I like how you think like a normal person with conversations.
Also how the hell do I respond to this. Is she being a bitch? I'm internet autistic if you get my meaning....

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No she's just commenting on how young you look, it's actually more of a compliment especially in the context she's using it. I'd respond with something like "Well looks like we're perfect for each other then" or something along those lines, try to be witty but not full of yourself you know? I hope it works out for you man you really don't look bad at all everyone just needs a little help now and again.

>You gonna let this baby face suck on those tits mami?

Tell her you are into black chicks

OP looks a bit like the Elon musk

>that's because I am a baby and it's time for me to feed, mommy

>It doesn't matter if it's a genuine question and gives them something to talk about dipshit
I won't argue with you just saying there would have been a billion better ways to go into that direction. Anyway have a nice evening user.

girls love breastfeeding

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wew lad I'm 28 and that woman definitely looks old

I'm debating on picking one of these. She has a child so I'm not going to talk to her seriously anyways.
Which do I go with.

Right? She probably will look horrible around 40.

Don't say anything outlandish and retarded, especially on bumble. On bumble the conversations are generally more tame as people are moreso looking for relationships

oh she has a child? then ask if she needs another baby for the other tit

Dont go with the mommy shit if you want to fuck her

> (You)

Okay but I don't think I have a response to someone telling me I have a baby face.
Is that supposed to be a compliment.

How attractive are you, OP? Probably not an original question.

Jesus dude, you are really autistic. Of course it is in this context

Im 5 outta 10 imo. Posted 2 pics already in thread.
I do wanna fuck. Wouldn't have a relationship past that since she is a single mom.

it's a compliment, refer to
I'd go with that "looks like we're perfect for each other then" comment, it's your best shot somewhat flirty but not completely retarded

OK I typed basically that to her.
I would definitely sleep with a pretty black girl... But I doubt she is on here for hookups.

Tinder's better for hookups but bumble works too I guess, get what you can get most thots are dtf on the first date if it's good enough anyway.

Also thought I would share this women with you guys. I know I'm an awful person for showing people I find unattraftive to you guys...

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Dude, don't get with the black girl, okay? It's a bad idea.

Why and also she never even responded. Oh well.

Why the fuck do they do this? Do they just lose interest after like 5 minutes?

Post your dog op!

> (You)
>Why the fuck do they do this? Do they just lose interest after like 5 minutes?
Actually she finally did respond and said she would be down to cuddle. Oh shit.

JOIN THIS DISCORD OR YOUR WIFES SON DIES IN HIS SLEEP

discord.
gg/3PcW7h

25/

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I'd hang out with you my nigga

Glad to hear it! I should really make guy friends before I start dating...
Well I can't believe my thread has lasted all day and I even posted myself which usually gets me banned quickly.
Im going to bed.
Thank you everyone for your advice and input.
R9k can be a pretty genuine place sometimes.

>I should really make guy friends before I start dating...
Not necessarily, I havent had any friends in a decade and I could still managed to have a couple girlfriends.