I recently moved back in with my mom after renting a studio for 5 years (medical bills and other shit happened and I could barely afford it any longer). She said she wanted me to pay rent, which I was fine with. In my opinion it was a large amount to ask for considering I'm her only child but whatever, it's her house, I accepted it. I recently picked up a load of prescriptions and misc items for her which cost me about $100. I didn't ask her for the money at the time. I casually mentioned how I was going to pay my first rent installment tomorrow over dinner, minus the money she owed me. She immediately went absolutely apeshit and said I was being underhand, greedy etc and even denied the amount. I went and got the receipts and showed her she owed me $100 and she just got even more angry and said stuff like 'After all I've done for you', 'I clean and cook' etc. She insisted it was underhand and wrong for me to deduct it from rent but apparently wouldn't have minded if I'd told her how much the items were at the time. She knew how much they cost though and asked me to pick them up, saying she'd pay me back. Who is in the right here? I sort of get her logic but at the same time as far as I'm concerned I haven't done anything wrong. We never normally argue and I feel conflicted.
Who is in the wrong here?
sounds like she's technically in the wrong, but you have no leverage and should just go with it
yeah I mean I'm not going to escalate it but I feel quite angry and I wanted to know if that was justified or if I'm being autistic or spoiled. She even said she'd give me the money (although I doubt she ever will), and when I then said 'is it not easier if I just take it out of the rent rather than you getting out cash at some point?' she got angry and defensive again and insisted any sort of deduction was 'disgusting behaviour'
You are not in the wrong, but relationships generally change once you move out of the house. You are basically a stranger even though you are a family.
Take comfort in the fact that you are completely right, and your mother is underhanded, and an asshole from what you're describing. However, I'd recommend going along with whatever she wants you to do for a bit, considering you don't seem to have any other options for the time being. Just get out of there ASAP.
This is why you jokingly say
>you'll pay me back, right
Before you even leave the house, if the answer is no then you obviously don't pick it up and say you "forgot it" if questioned about it so they can pick it up themselves.
Don't think just because they're blood related that they'd for a second care about you. My dad has owed me $4.5k for a decade now, I'm never getting that back so be weary who you use your money for.
your mother is mad you moved back home, she thought she got rid of your ass for good now right back you are practically sucking at her saggy teat again.
she basically shoehorned me into taking an arts degree, raised me with no father figure and gave me my grandparent's inheritance when I was 15 which of course I wasted. Yes I have been stupid and I take responsibility for most of it but it is really her fault that I turned into the type of loser that moves back with his mom at 25. I had to teach myself how to tie a tie, use a knife and fork and other shit like that. She believes in crystal healing and thinks Greta Thunberg is what I should have been.
I said I had basically no money and I would move out if it was feasible but if I did I would literally have NOTHING left over each month and she said 'I'm often broke too' like that's comparable. She's a 57 year old boomer, if she's broke that's her fucking fault. When she was my age my grandparents gave her everything she ever wanted and she blew it to go 'find herself' with her middle class friends and rejected a university position from a top 10 university.
You are not a loser. You just had a controlling parent. Nobody gets to choose his/her parents. What you can do is accept that this is your parent and that you will have to bear with her for a while. Focus on the task at hand. What is your next priority now? Plan your steps.
>Greta Thunberg
user, your mom is a lost cause and a complete npc tool.
There is nothing you can do for her anymore.. I'd even suggest putting her down before the cancer tumor in her head grows and tries to expand onto others, giving a voice to a non existent problem and making a minority of loudmouths control the masses through fear and "guilt"
Get along with the bitch. Treat her nicely, smile, talk to her, never say no when she asks for something.
But get out asap and never again talk to her or just occasionally. Also steal the money she owes you, little by little so she doesn't notice.
Does anyone else feel like it's disgusting for parents to charge rent to their kids? It's your bloody kids. Don't suck them dry. Is this common in America?
You are in the wrong obviously
You should beg for forgiveness and promise to be a better son or just leave the house
I'm doing accounting exams as an external candidate and teaching myself off youtube but it will take several more years for me to get chartered and make the leap from poverty wages to being a middle-class professional. Knowing I have some kind of plan is the only thing that keeps me from depression desu
Pretty much resigned this except maybe stealing money but it's depressing because we always had a great relationship. Now I feel cheated and like she just wanted a kid to have as a kind of pet and now I'm an adult with different political views and I remind her of my dad she resents me
I feel it's okay if the kid is like, at least 18. My mom used to charge my older sister who was 22 at the time and still living with my mom. My sister would take showers like, 2 times a day and completely fuck our water bill.
I'm OK with paying her rent, I just think it's insane to act like money she owes me isn't allowed to be deducted from it and that said rent is some kind of immutable standalone sum that MUST BE PAID IN FULL no matter what
kek, is it not common elsewhere? If you are an adult living at home it's expected that you help with bills and mortgage. My dad got me off the streets, then found a job and started paying him rent. Why wouldn't you want to help your own family?
I think parents should hell their kids get ahead in life, not screw them. If your child is using the water/phone whatever too much, talk to them. Don't start jewing them with rent. Also, I believe that in healthy families, the kids should stick around longer. I've read about those insane rent prices in America. Just stick together.
I want children to help their parents! If you raised them lovingly they would help however they can automatically. Don't fuckin jew your kids man, that's all I'm saying.
After doing chores and running a few errands, what other way is there to contribute but financially? Plus living there yourself, you can see how a few hundred extra bucks a month can benefit the whole household, from food to leisure.
That's fair, it's just my sister doesn't really listen. She has a princess complex so it's just better to talk to her first then take action. My mom doesn't jew her all the time, since my sister is now currently working as a teacher.
Additionally for a lot of these NEETs, it helps instill a sense of adult responsibility, and furthers the understanding of the value of money.