You're not single, still, are you?

coom :3

What the fuck is wrong with you?

I know you are and you don’t lift
Sage

vocaroo.com/i/s1k5N2N3GV4o

I am not, but it's syllabus week and my balls are foaming with all these freshmen girls ready to be ruined. I'm thinking about breaking up with her.

Objectively wrong
Post your own 10 then faggot

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i suppose i am. it gets kinda complicated juggling multiple females at once, but i like that there's no expectations "of what a couple should be like".

I’m single

I pipe a girl from tinder every other day, tell her I love her after I cum on her stomach then leave her on read the next day.

Usually there’s a 20% ratio of girls that will actually never talk to you again after you do that

I like to keep 3 options for every Monday,Wednesday,Friday and Sunday

I update my notebooks with names of potential hoes and sloots I’ve already fucked, addresses, what type of sexual intercourse etc.

Of coarse I would never let them know that there’s an actual science that goes into it.

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none of your fucking business

never stop, friend

there is this girl, we talk sometimes.
last time we talked she really seemed interested in me i mean, she was the one who came with the idea of... how can i say it? going out together, but she didn't imply it was a date.
relatively same autism level as me (meme autism, not actual autism, as it seems common here), not a thot, so that's quite a discovery for me.
and the natty deer said yes to me 2 of the 3 times i rolled, so i feel confidence.

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This is the first instance of the COOM thing I've laughed at

>the natty deer said yes to me 2 of the 3 times i rolled, so i feel confidence
Kek

youd better damn well hope I am, I live in a small village where I'm related in some way to 90% of the girls here. I got laid when I flew in to the city back around Christmas time and didnt try at all in May.

damn, that's a 9/10.
would be a 10/10 if she knew about Bionicle lore

>leave her on read
what u mean

coom meme is literally the best thing I have ever seen in my 15 fucking years on Jow Forums

I am. I'd just love to meet someone but I'm a 30yo virgin and I'm torn between going to a prostitute, lying to my prospective girlfriend, or being open and risking ridicule.
It's not an easy life bros.

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Obviously

Found the boomer. It means you read the message and don't do anything after. It shows "read" on the message detail, indication the message has been seen and the person still has not responded.

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dude, just hire a hooker, tell her you're virgin and to teach you some stuff.
It's like being afraid of going to a doctor if you're sick.

Patrician tastes

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>get fit as fuck
>look better than I ever have before
>confidence high
>girls mirin' and go on dates
>find out I developed some kind of ED because of porn addiction and anxiety

a 10 is a subjective 9, ya nerd

Avoid texting them back for a couple days

When you’re ready to pump and dump again just say
>sorry needed some space
>that night just felt too good to be true, sorry I have trust issues
>I’m not quite sure what I want yet

Females eat these lines up, call me a psychopath but I’ve been doing this process for a good 4 years now.

Yeah I am. The few people that find out I suck with girls wtf at first. There's nothing wrong with me at first sight, besides putting up a decent normie act I look good, dress well and well I'm fit.
They just dont realize how fucked you are at 5'7

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ultra based

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I wasnt until yesterday

I wasnt

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fuck, i should have known. the whole tinder science thing fucking disgusts me, but hey, you seem fine with it. i'm a network engineer in my mid 20s but i'm definitely ok with being a technophobe boomer when it comes to shit you people do on smartphones.

I'm ugly, fat and have zero confidence.
Of course I have a gf haha
ha ha...

muh dick tho

OH NONONONON COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM

Fair enough. It's weird to some of us too and believe me, only a minority of the users actually succeed at it and have it down to a science. How are you a network engineer and technophobe? I'm early 20s and about to be a SWE hopefully by the end of this year

I'll never have a girlfriend no matter how much I lift. Girls treat me nice and smile to me, but I can barely speak in their presence unless they bring up something I'm interested in.

that's a lie and you know it.
There's a certain point where your body gets so great that the universe itself grants you a Gf, if not many of them.

I lost 60 lbs and I'm still fat. I can't believe I let myself go so badly. Need to lose another 3o to get to healthy bmi. I'm not even sure I could get a gf in my state.

I haven't gotten laid in 4 months KILLL MMEEEEEE I ACTUALLY WANNA DIE LIFE ISNT WORTH LIVING WITHOUT GIRLS I FANTASIZED ABOUT STABBING MYSELF IN THE NECK TODAY ON THE BUS FOR ABOUT 10 MINUTES

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I'm sorry bro, life will go on

Based Emilia poster

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if you can improve your body, why can't you improve your mind? social gains are possible with enough effort and discipline

i haven't gotten in 30 FUCKING YEARS GOD FUCKING DAMMIT

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Hey tranny janny why is this thread still up

>get fit
>get cute af, more than most people, and more importantly, more than my past self
>get as well more confident, still got things to change but on the way
>get gf
>not really searched for it, just came like you would see a butterfly while walking on a park
>thought it meant that would lead to a serious relationship
>eventually break up
>then gf admit she would like for us to stay but mostly for sex
>realize the body I wanted for so long is useless without the mind coming with it

they stopped caring about the board because of the coom spam. they couldn't contain the shitposting so why bother taking care of the board at all

oc not leaving any gains on the table

just pay for it, nerd. clearing that cum backlog will do you a world of good.

I met my gf of 6 years on tinder.

i like computers and complex things so i picked network engineering. i'm a technophobe when it comes to the aspect of technology that is used to shape our perception of (and change our interaction with) the rest of society. it feels strangely dehumanising. also, because i spend so much time with technology, i want to keep whatever little human interaction i have as human as possible.

but yeah, godspeed. as they say, we're all gonna make it.

I know, and I realized it, but now I thought about it, if she left me, then I wasnt good enough, problem is that, I dont know how could I be

Makes sense. My friends became the same once they got to industry and were always around tech. I'm starting to become that way too and just enjoying the outdoors way more these days. Appreciate it, godspeed.

Damn then you are in an even smaller minority. Congrats though. Plans to lock it down soon?

That’s a shame because a few days ago they were actually doing their job

I lost her two months ago. Fit, played games and watched some anime. Somewhat bipolar and with suicidal tendencies though, as she had a rough life
She dumped me because of my failures and now she's dating someone physically more attractive than me (according to her). Still can't let her go

Post body

>I lost her

youtu.be/t3bUdQqf4xs?t=921

have some vipe

Let me preface this by saying that it’s my body, and I do what I want to with it. Only God may judge me. Fuck any haters!

I’m an escort, or a call girl if you must, and I’m ruthless with who I accept as clients. I only sleep with someone if they are on a similar level of intelligence, highly successful in business or if they are extremely good looking. That way I can be sure that I am not lowering myself in any way. If you aren’t at the top of your game why would I accept your money to fuck me?

I have a couple of tattoos, classy ones BTW, and they enhance every aspect of my body!!

I've cut out two or three different friend groups and a few family members (including my father) because of how negative, bitter and cynical they are. I don't want that shit in my life.

I don't drink alcohol and rarely go out drinking, spend very little money on clothes, I don't have a car and use public transport and I still live with my parents. This means I save a lot of money while being able to eat.

I go to counseling / therapy and have went for years and spend a lot of time on self care / introspection. This means I get to have a positive mindset and why other people act like idiots. I think everybody could benefit from therapy, it's the people who think they don't need therapy are the ones you need to worry about.

I don’t waste time on small talk, you know why you’re paying me, and I’m charging high by the hour, I’m talking more than $50 per hour here, so I don’t want people wasting my time.
I have a large debt from my younger days and I’m paying it off each month, though im still waiting for that prince to sweep me away and save me, not that I’m looking for a saviour, I’m perfect as I am.
A lot of people consider me to be a quiet and Mousey girl, and I conform to those restrictions since they suite me just fine.
A lot of people, mainly virgins, call me a roastie, but fuck them. Actually I’m not, so it’s even more painful for them.

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I drop my spaghetti due to childhood trauma.

140 6’1
>this is literally all girls care about

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OH OH NO IIIIIIMMMMMMM OHHHHHJ. IM COOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMIIIIINNNGGGGF UNGH FUCK OHHHHHHHJ

>I’m charging high by the hour, more than $50 per hour
i'm no expert in hoe rates, but isn't that cheap as fuck?

>turn life around after 4 years of being a NEET
>start lifting again, lose weight and become happiest I've ever been
>finally graduate from law school after a 3 year hiatus and nearly dropping out
>cat gets run over by a car the following day
>mom gets diagnosed with cancer shortly after
>girlfriend of 3 years dumps me

how do I cope

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>imagine forcing a meme this hard with 2 other people, and no one organically follows

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yeah ive got warned for coomposting 2 days ago. on the first two days jannies were nuking every thread with a thot pic in it and my reports actually got a couple of c*mbrains banned but now they dont care. maybe we should dial it back on the cooms?

>and the natty deer said yes to me 2 of the 3 times i rolled, so i feel confidence
What did he say the first time you rolled? Only the first one matters

this

COOM harder

Do girlfriend prostitutes count?

Damn mirin

matbe when you convert it to usd, but for me eggs cost about $27 for a dozen and that nearly breaks me for the week.

Do you even lift?

Going celibate for a year. Hoping it will cure me of my tendency to be an emotional tampon that gets tossed aside once I've fulfilled some girl's ego wishes

Is that enji?

yes

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>that nonexistent frame
>that 2" heightfrauding bc the doorframe gives it away
>that face
>slays 3 women a week
JFL at my life, meanwhile I'm legit gymcelled 6'5" filling out doorframes (6'7" on the internet) with 26" bideltoid and chico-tier face and can't even look thotties in the eye
FUCK MY AUTISM

Your girlfriend already knows it or suspects it. She likely won't care unless you simply are incapable of learning anything new and don't get better at sex.

>letting yourself get in that position with a woman in the first place
What were you expecting? I'm actually curious.

They don't call it INCEL for nothing.

Unironically go see a therapist about that trauma. Keep a daily journal to monitor your thoughts.

>how do I cope

Fuck if I know friend. That's really rough, I'm sorry. Keep lifting and maybe start running too. Whatever helps. Anything but drugs/drink.

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>falling for the jewpussy meme
Come to the realization that all women like that are stuck up, shallow, ugly, diseased whores who only look good with 3 1/2 lbs of makeup in photoshopped pictures taken at ideal angles with perfect lighting. I genuinely don't find either of them attractive as a potential partner. As a hypothetical fuck, sure, but they look extremely narcissistic and slutty. Look for sweet and cute girls who have some modesty. They're often every bit as pretty if you take the time to take a good look, but even more often overlooked because they don't dress like whores and cake on makeup every day. If you can't see this then you're going to have problems in every aspect of life, not just women. The irony is that being shallow will inevitably draw you to fake, ugly women. You have to learn to tell the difference between clothes and makeup vs actual beauty, but women are experts at tricking men into getting these things mixed up. Are you smarter than a woman?Realize girls like the one on the left do not exist without makeup, good lighting, photoshop and camera angles, you're getting butthurt over an illusion. The reality is that most women without makeup or any of the other tricks they use to get male attention just look like effeminate prepubescent boys, if you saw those same girls irl no makeup in natural lighting I have a feeling you'd be less than impressed.

UH UH
UOOOAAAHHH
I'M UGH OOOOOHHH COOM UNGH I'M UHHH IM GONNA NNNGGGG COOMING... UUAAAAAH IM COOOOOOOMMMIIIIIINNNNGGG

see

>Damn then you are in an even smaller minority. Congrats though. Plans to lock it down soon?

Yeah we live together, have two dogs. Shes been off the pill for two years, been tested, its me. Ive blasted and cruised for 5 years, so could be why she isnt pregnant.

She has a high paying job and we dress up in matching outfits with our dogs, and enter competitions. Shes not perfect, extremely needy. We moved in together after a year because she gets panic attacks without me

nobody cares incel

edited near the belly

Sorry to hear about your troubles. Do not cope with alcohol & drugs. Taking it out on your body is not the way.

No. Moving in with my gf next week. Feels good man.