I only see you as a friend user, but my friend Bertha (or any other generic fat girl name) is really into you.
I only see you as a friend user, but my friend Bertha (or any other generic fat girl name) is really into you
Owen Murphy
Dominic Garcia
Pump and Dump Bertha because usually there's a friend of your's involved as well in this. So take one for the team
Carter Ramirez
>tfw even bertha doesnt want me
Dominic Jenkins
Robots, it's not hard.
Find a cute thicc grill who wants you.
It's what I did.
Liam Jones
>go with Bertha
>Stacy gets jealous
>Stacy becomes Bertha while you transform Bertha into Stacy
>Rinse and repeat
Jason Reyes
in my 18yrs of living that hasn't worked out at all either
Gabriel White
>Sneed or chuck, I guess that I got cucked, huh?
>So you're her fat friend friend, ya think I'm gonna fuck ya? (Nah!)
>I'll just fap to 2D babes, avoid the issue,
>And keep bustin nuts to waifu queens in piles of tissue!
Jordan Wood
Ew
'Thicc' is unhealthy.
I will not except defeat
Connor Reed
is that the "hit or miss" girl?
Jonathan Kelly
Why would you destroy a based statement with a shitty meme user.
Aiden Green
Yeah, miss uh... whatever her name is...
James Baker
youre right, im sorry ill just be a reddit fag now... ive caused nothing but pain...
Aaron Nelson
I onIy see Bertha as a friend.
Colton Gonzalez
they're both ugly as shit and I would never put myself in their ugly presence
Grayson Kelly
t. sending them multiple messages on discord
Carson Stewart
>Let's go back in time to when I was in college, a few years ago
>Meet a 8/10 qt at the apartment I'm in
>Drink with her sometimes
>She tells me multiple times about what a great guy I am
>One night I ask her if she'd like to go out for a drink this Friday
>Obviously asking her out, she agrees
>Wait for her at the place
>She shows up with her friend, Brenda
>Brenda is easily a 2/10
>Brenda waddles up to me and smiles really big with her gross fucking plaque teeth
>The smile I had when I saw 8/10 kind of dissipates into a smirk when I see Brenda
>She looks like she gets her clothes at Goodwill
>Her hair is so flat and thin that it looks like she's balding
>She's so oblivious and frumpy, it's like looking at a female Quasimodo
>We all go and sit at the bar
>Go to sit next to qt and she had Brenda sit next to me
>Sweet lord don't do this to me
>8/10 is conversing with me the whole time
>Every now and then Brenda interrupts, and we try to let her speak, and she goes on about nothing for like a minute and awkwardly stops talking
>At one point I get tired of it and start talking with some other group
>8/10 starts talking with the bartender
>Fucking Brenda tries to hold my hand when I'm playing pool and I accidentally hit her with the pool cue
>She just sort of stands in the corner staring at me
>She tries the hand holding thing again later and I jerk my hand away from her because she came up behind me and scared me
>At the end of the night when we're alone I told 8/10 off for trying to push fucking Brenda onto me
>She gets all flustered, tries to recover by getting onto me for being mean to her
>I tell her she knew damn well I'm interested in her, not Brenda, and if she didn't like me that she shouldn't have come out at all
>Brenda is right there now and I'm just drunkenly going off about how much of a subhuman she is
>Walk off, never talk to them again
It hurts.
Caleb Wright
based and basedpilled
baka
Isaac Nguyen
Good one user you handled it like a man. Poor Brenda was probably lied to by her friend.
Xavier Allen
That was like two years ago now, I think? Haven't done anything like that since. Haven't talked to a woman that I would date who wasn't obliged to speak with me ever since. Still, I knew I did the right thing.
I refuse to be passed on to some creature as a pity gift. I may be sad and alone, but I'm not desperate and I have pride. Brenda does make a return, though, it's not like she just gave up on the promised sacrifice.
Easton Richardson
As a male firmly in the bottom 80% I make sure to get with the Brenda's because I have nothing to lose.
William Lewis
>I will not except defeat
>except
Michael Collins
Good one, no forgiveness to 8/10 like so many betas would give.
Aaron Nguyen
>Flop cock on table
>"See this? You're not getting this until you drop 80 pounds at least."
>Force Bertha to go the gym all summer and obsessively control what she's allowed to eat.
>Research fashion and order clothes for her at her goal size while she's passed out from exhaustion
>Back to school in September
>Stacey's been getting invited to parties all summer and has no idea what Bertha was doing
>Doesn't even recognize Bertha at first
>Enjoy the look of mixed look of jealousy and fear that she no longer has an ugly friend to make her look good
>I am the creator and destroyer of Stacie's
>Don't you dare ever consider friend zoning one such as I again.
Sebastian Green
No, you don't. You don't deserve Brenda. I don't think mass murderers or pedophiles deserve Brenda, there is no crime heinous enough to deserve Brenda.
>a couple days later I'm awake at like 2AM
>leave my studying to go get myself some hot fuckin pockets
>our kitchen was right next to the front door of the apartment
>as my hot pockets brew in the microwave, I see someone darkening the light in front of our apartment door
>just sort of look at the door
>*sniff*
>what.
>*sniff, sniff, sniff*
>quietly make my way to the peephole
>it's fucking Brenda
>she's in front of my door with her gross fucking Goodwill clothes, with a big, ominous stain on the front
>I swear I can smell her sour BO smell through the door
>open the door suddenly
>she jumps back and slams her head into the wall
>"Brenda? What the fuck?"
>she starts to run away and trips
>just start walking towards her, quickly but still walking
>"What the fuck, are you smelling my fucking apartment? How do you know where I live?"
>as she's crawling away, I can hear her lightly sobbing and... and huffing as she tries to move as quickly as her little piggy legs will take her
>continue to follow her up the stairs like this, at a short distance, but still right up on her
>she's in complete flight mode, possibly the first time she's ever run in her life
>trips as she enters the door out of the stairwell to the ninth floor
>I can clearly see a dark spot on her sweatpants where she pissed herself a bit
>continue to advance as she stumbles/crawls towards a door
>she reaches the door
>it's locked
>cross my arms and lean on the wall, glare at her
>she fumbles with her key, looks up at me, tries to work the key into the door, looks at me again
>"BRENDA!"
>she drops the key and looks at me, breathing heavily
>tell her that I don't ever want to see her on the same floor as my apartment ever again
>she clumsily bobs her big head up and down in compliance
That was the last time I ever saw Brenda.
Easton Evans
You should have made her take a shower and then given her a pity fuck. That would be your good deed for the year.
Camden Parker
I ain't doin that.
Kevin Hernandez
It's always about "u shou fuck" with you betas, isn't it?
Nicholas Martinez
Why do birgins always seem to think that fucking anything you can get your dick into is an acceptable way to go about life?
Christian Cruz
Because they want to live sexual fantasies through others' greentexts, feeling frustrated when the plot doesn't give them it.
Lincoln Miller
This 8/10 didn't try to set you up with Brenda for no reason. Maybe you're not the most self-aware fellow but she clearly assessed you as being in the same league as a 2/10 door smelling autistic girl.
Nathaniel Watson
Yeah that's, that isn't true. I'm not some permavirgin, I got with girls in college at around 8 and 7/10. No, she thought I was, like, a "friend," and that she could try to get her pity hag with me.
Daniel Myers
i will never date an fat girl.
Luke Allen
>Find a cute thicc grill who wants you.
great idea
Samuel White
>this
>"women can't be robots"
Bentley Kelly
The ol' fat friend bait-and-switch.
Hate that shit.
Angel Hall
>look to the right, by the door
>I think there's a ghost in this picture
>women can't be robots
People who say that unironically should be sterilized.
When I called her out on it I swear to God I got that Jew reaction that Goebbels talked about. Also, here's the beast we're talking about here, boys. Imagine this thing, except just a bit shorter, dirtier, and fatter.
Owen Morris
Lol, best come back
Samuel Parker
>I think there's a ghost in this picture
yo holy shit
Wyatt Powell
Uh...yeah...oops...
Joseph Ortiz
>that body
Should have played captain marvel.
Tyler Garcia
>settling down with someone worse looking than yourself
top beta, might as well stay alone instead
Ryan Lopez
YOOOOOOOOOOO what is that?
Jose Brooks
well that looks like hell-
jesus christ you fuckin scared me
Robert Baker
>uhm sure, she looks cute
>fuck the shit out of her
>dump the next day
I still win in the end
Henry Russell
genuinely made me laugh
>saw the movie
>wouldn't make that much of a difference to Brie Larson's flat ass
Jackson Morris
youngfags OUT
Literally go outside you stupid smartphone addicted social network-spooked duckling
Samuel Torres
Peter Dinklage's ghost.
Kayden Taylor
>in my 18yrs of living
Brandon Peterson
You are an absolute chad fucking bas-
>It hurts.
beta