ITT: Normie Workout/Nutrition Advice That Hurt Your Brain

Post stuff you've heard people say that have never spent time in the gym or dieting.

>don't take those protein drinks, they convert to steroids in your stomach and make you lose hair
>Just gotta do atkins bro, a buddy of mine stopped eating carbs and lost 100lbs
>creatine is unnatural and basically steroids
>you can over train if you work out more than twice per week
>if you miss your anabolic window, your entire workout was uselsss
>you need to have an alkaline pH level or you will piss out all of your nutrition (this was said by a woman that was 300+ lbs)

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creatine does fuck all and is a gymcel cope to being afraid to roid, change my mind fagget

Closest thing I've got is my mom tells me to be careful when I tell her what I do in the gym and how much I lift.

It makes me sad whenever I hear anything like this. These people arent making this shit up. They heard it all on television news. The same people that they trust to tell them what's going on in the world and who they should vote for.

>what do you need those protiins for?

-my mum

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She's right. Lifting weight too heavy, too often, especually with muscle imbalances can lead to tendonitis which is a total cunt. Your mother is a wise woman. You should take creepshots

Bro how does this wheelchair bound cripple retard have a decent gf? What’s her end game? Will he inevitably die young from his crippling disease and she inherits all of his wealth?

I bet your mums northern like mine

kekd hard

My dad told me to stop all other lifts except the bench press, as that is obviously the safest.

>protein bad
>protein destroys your kidneys
>protein gives you cancer
>more educated version: muh mTOR

imagine if it's true tho

These three are very similar to OPs
>don't take those protein drinks they will destroy you liver and kidneys
from a wino mom
>creatine is unnatural and will mess up your kidneys and cause balding
old guy
>you can over train if you work out more than twice per week
All of these for sure

also
>working out makes you flabby later
>your aggressive because of that stuff you take (protein)
>Lifting heavy will deaden your nerves or some shit

I always see fatties and dyels at work trying to drink stupid kool aid like beverages, always talking about fitness but they never actually do anything, pretty annoying lads

why would i have to change your mind- its literally the most studied performance enhancing substance ever

just pull up pubmed and start reading you fucking retard

Lol I work with a 5’5” 250 lb dude who constantly drinks some kind of weird powder mix in water and eats fiber bars all day. He claimed he squats 500 lbs

Creatine does work. But the broader point of your post is correct, roids are orders of magnitude more effective.

Spending ass loads of money on supplements is really only worth it if you're actually competing in a sport that tests for roids.

>short indian manlet in my office comes in sipping BCAA's every day for a few weeks
>overhear him chatting up a group of office fatties saying , "yep, ever since I started taking this stuff I've gained 20lbs of muscle and burned tons of fat! It makes me attack the weights!"
>mfw he looks exactly the same as he did before and only does p90x workouts

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creatine is dirt cheap though. its probably the only supplement other than roids thats actually worth the cost.

no thanks i rather let your shit for brains faggot self wallow in despair as you never make it kek im lmaoing at your life

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Look the retarded guy is an Eagles fan, big fucking surprise there.

beyond based

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>vegetables and fruits are actually unhealthy for you (this dude I was talking to was like 400 lbs)
>I don’t want clogged arteries (a 350lb vegan that was mocking meat eaters)

today at my gym someone told me that keeping your breath while deadlifting or squatting could be fatal

Dates crippled he says how happy he is.
She gets attention and as seen as a saint since she says shes genuine.
>attention
>Inb4 cope blah blah blah
If not for attention why does she feel the need to post so much that she is with him and such??

They have a YouTube channel that’s where they got famous from. Do you think she’s fucking chads on the low?

>250 lb
>squats 500
So what, he mean he can do two air squats before giving up?

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100%.

you guys sound like a fucking subreddit simmulator honestly

Mmm i think maybe one guy on the side. Because she is smart enough to play this game. She can't risk it getting out she cheats cuz she would lose everything.

He tried to prove it to me by showing a video of him and his personal trainer. To his credit it was a 3 plate squat but when I told him that wasn’t 500 lbs he got really butthurt. Maybe his pt told him it was 500?

open relationships are pretty popular nowadays.

she probably requires the guy to sign an NDA or something.

But what is she really gaining as it is? If I stared going out with a crippled or mentally ill women would I profit from it?

depends how good your video editor is.

>Hey bro I bought this program, you should get on i got so much muslce in 6mo.
Those are beginner gains. Looks at program. This is some generic stuff.
>Look at this guy hes huge
Hes on roids
>he says hes natty
I then go into extensive proof how hes fake.
>your just mad he looks better then you.
Dam i was trying to help you but you have this guys cock so far up your ass its sturing up your brain.
Real convo i had with an aquaintence.

this is actually true if you have a shit tier cardiovascular system or high blood pressure

I didnt even know they had a YT before now. Shes doing it for money fame and attention. Probably not because society see men as more cynical and less genuine. If she were mentaly ill people would accuse u of manipulating her, shes to fragile to understand what is happening. If she were cripple she would have to be 100% mental capacity or else you would probably be fucked.

>>protein destroys your kidneys
this is true, in crazy high amounts

Fuckin kek

>don't deadlift you'll fuck up the L4/L5 disc

hahah fucking faggots got it wrong(of-fucking-course), i fucked up L5/S1 hahah fuck i hate normies so much haha

PAJEET WHY

>>vegetables and fruits are actually unhealthy for you (this dude I was talking to was like 400 lbs)
Ketards are the fucking worst

But I’ve got a pretty handsome face and a nice smile. People see me as very trust worthy. Not that I would date a crippled women or anything but I wonder if it would work.

Who are they?

>bodybuilders inject steroids into the body part they want to grow

Just laugh at my shit joke user.

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I hate jokes and I hate anime

>attempted robbery in the house of a gimp and a woman
Nothing they could do to defend themselves. They should get a dog

nice try ATF

As i said it would work if she has 100% mental capacity. At that point though she isnt cripple enough to get you the ammount of attention as this girl. Your gf would get more attention for dating a normal then u dating her.

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>wheelchair guy with girlfriend

My parents tell me not to take too many supplements while I am still young because I don't need them and they will probably cause more harm than good. When I was like 15 I was pretty skinny so I bought creatine behind my parents back thinking I'd get a lot bigger and they got super pissed off. Did little to nothing for me though since I was really inconsistent with lifting at the time and if I didn't force myself to chug a ton of water with it I'd get the shits bad.
Also I told a friend of mine about it at the time and he said something along the lines of "wtf isn't that steroids?"

>CARBS ARE POISON

>Are you taking any supplements?
>just vitamin d
>wow so you dont take any protein shakes?
>what yea of course i sometimes use whey powder to hit my protein
>so youre taking strons??

>CICO doesnt work

It works but is disgusting, therefore caffiene > creatine (No you can't take them both).

Too much protein can give you kidney stones though.

>be about a decade ago
>order creatine off of bodybuilding.com
>mom gets the package from the FedEx guy
>gives it to me with a weird look
>fast forward to a few months later
>still on creatine
>mom comes into my room one day
>says she needs to have a talk with me
>she's 100% serious and says "user, we need to talk about your roid rage. Ever since you got that package of steroids in the mail, you've changed and have been snapping at me and your father every day."
>literally never had an argument or disagreement with them for years
>mfw

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>if you argue with her/tell her she's wrong it's more 'proof'

B8 or actually retarded?

someone source me on this chick and why's she's wearing a sexy singlet? She's fucking smokin.

P90X > SS

Parents are morons and expect you to worship the earth they walk on, news at eleven.

very based, if it actually did something it would be banned

So what? I'm 6'8" and fit; my wife is 5'5" and has multiple disabilities. The heart goes where it shall.

Move out faggot

Having partaken in both myself I would have to say straight shota is better than p90x

except there's no real convincing evidence

He said this was a decade ago

Are you the same user ?

damm imagine how much is this girl cashing out on these vids and support... and most prolly fucking ton of dicks behind his retarded back

>breakfast is the most important meal of the day you cant skip it!
>i dont care if you are on a "cut" you have to eat!
>i dont need scientific evidence to support what i said this isnt a debate, you just gotta eat
highschool was hard bros

>Sugar turns your muscles into fat

Yeah plus I bet this vegetable gets a fat disability check

Imagine how easy it would be to kill this guy and then she's all yours. A girl like that I'm sure there are plenty of people willing to do some dirty things to get to her. I bet she didn't think of that when she decided to virtue signal her way to fame. He's not exactly a huge deterrent for someone willing to take what they want by force. Literally all I'd need to do is walk into their house, literally any time of day or night, push this dude out of his wheelchair and stomp on his mangled skull and she's literally all mine for as long as I want. What's he going to do, roll at me? I'll just step to the side and then I'm in the perfect position to put a fist through his temple, I might even use my foot just to make a point. Not that I would, but someone might.

Anything with elastics. It's a fucking meme, stop doing it unless you're an advanced lifter and know what you're doing. For most people it's nothing more than a gimmick that is somehow advertised to normies as an easy way to get """tight"""

>you need to stop eating if you want to get strong, all the fat turns to muscle if you starve yourself and work out
I was anorexic and trying to get my weight up. Bitch, I'm already starving.

>cooking ground beef
>mom comes downstairs
>looks at me with a horrified expression
>"user!!! THAT'S TOO MUCH PROTEIN"
>meanwhile she constantly eats sweets, and gets like 20g of protein a day

Its a fetish. I used to have it. Id seek out disabled girls, it makes you feel virtuous and powerful at the same time. One ex had MS, another had motor neuron disease.

They become very dependant and it feels amazing, especially since im at my physical peak. I liked going to the supermarket and making a visual show of how saintly i was.

You misunderstood, he meant he can pop a squat and take a 500 pound dump, indubitably thanks to all the fiber

>Squirmy and Grubs

What the fuck. Which is which?

Well, at least for squats... if you're using these old school style squat racks you could conceivably pass out and crush your head. You could also conceivably get hit by a stray bullet of a driveby shooting sleeping in your bed at night, so whatever.

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See I feel like I'd be into this but all the baggage that comes with dating a cripple would be a bit too much to be worth it.

Are you Satan himself?

>feel virtuous and powerful at the same time

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You can't ban something that's naturally found in food. It's not a ped.

>running is bad for your knees
But I hear that on Jow Forums as well
>never spent time in the gym
So it all checks out

How much difference do you feel it makes? I've been on it for about 3 weeks now and I haven't seen significant effects

Holy fuck this.
>Lose over 100lbs just by watching calories
>Coworker asks how I did it
>"I just counted my calories every day"
>"No user I read an article that says calories don't matter and it's more important to eat organic, hollistic foods."

A friend asked me this.
>Do you think if I just do 40 pushups and drink a protein shake every day, I can get swole?
>No
>Oh yeah? Watch me dude, you don't know my body

Why did he even ask

Classic anime mindest.

Looking for validation, most likely

>running is bad for your knees
It is if you're fat

>counting cals is an eating disorder

Everything except losing weight is bad for you when you're fat.

>but Jow Forums
Jow Forums is plagued with crabs in recent years. Don't listen to this board without a second thought. Ask yourself how many people you know that wrecked their knees by running and how exactly they did it. I know exactly one person that snapped himself, by overtraining like an absolute idiot at about 40 years old. He ran 3 marathons in a year at full pace while also doing several 10k races and he fucked up is ankles. He is still able to run every week, just not hard anymore.
On the other hand I know several people with fucked up shoulders from lifting (like idiots), with fucked up backs from not working out at all and actually wrecked knees from soccer or handball.

Anti CiCo and anti running propaganda is an absolute cancer.

So, are you saying that if i kill a girl’s boyfriend i get the girl automatically? Kick fucking ass, i wish i knew this sooner

>you can't make gains if you're not eating carbs/only eating meat
But I am making gains. I gained 5kgs since I started on this diet.
>but you can't, it doesn't work
Alright, then how do you explain it?
>I don't know, but it doesn't work

Discussion I had with a coworker couple of years ago. I have Crohn's and started eating only meat after the bone marrow transplant didn't work. My gains improved (probably from not getting sick and vomiting every couple of weeks), but the dude's broscience says that's impossible, so obviously reality is wrong.