>Be a normal kid
>Get to mid-school
>For no reason I get bullied for 3 years
>End up having to repeat a year
>Get to highschool
>The class had like 10 people so I didn't get picked/bullied
>Goes to college
>Everyone thinks i'm a spaz and makes fun of me and my constant shaking
>Leave college
>Years pass by, I end up just wanting to hide from reality while playing mmos and having a shit job which can barely make me survive
>Anime event the other day
>I go in
>I feel old(32) not because of how I look, as I look way younger, but because all those "kids" are having so much fun with friends and girlfriends. I never had anything like that and while cunts during my life helped to that, the responsibility was also mine. I wasted most of my 20's doing nothing but playing games and watching anime. And now? Now I can never go back. I'll never have fun with a group, I won't have girl friends, I won't make one fall for me because I'm a faggot that can only get sex by using money
Don't end up like me guys. Enjoy what you enjoy but don't run from reality. Face the cunt. Afraid of being embarrassed? What's the big deal, people will make fun of you regardless, but at least you can say you tried and might even succeed. Me? I was a coward, am a coward, and now I feel old when I see all these people that only look slightly younger being all happy with their groups of friends.
Don't let it end like it did to me
Thanks for this user, godspeed.
Don't be too unhappy user, here you have people that care about you.
Life is not a race, but a marathon. It's okay to be going a bit slower than everyone else.
You will overcome this eventually user. I believe in you :)
I will try my best user, and the same goes to you, I believe in you, never give up.
Godspeed
This picture changed my life
There is a light that never goes out. Hang in there!
You are a wise man user,you deserve the best,too bad this life is not fair at all.
That user was a weakling.
I'm smarter then that user, I can do it.
*cries*
Good to be saying "dont' run", user. But you know, sometimes you don't have a fucking choice. Or even worse, if anime and vidya were the correct choice, cause the other ones were even worse.
Im 20 turning 21 this year and im an overweight virgin neet, im trying to get a job or do volunteer work but i dont have any qualifications since i dropped out of school due to major bullying, I just dunno what to do with my life and even though im 20 i feel like im going through a midlife crisis and i feel like my life is already stagnant, im not suicidal or anything and everybody around me thinks im happy and cherry with the way things are. and i know i have the power to change myself, but its like im addicted to doing nothing, i start something do it for about a week then slowly fall back into old habbits. i dont normally go on about my problems, but since im always talking my 2 online friends down from doing something stupid and i dont know who else to talk to i thought i might aswell release a bit of what im feeling here.
its hard to face the truth
the thing is, i feel like i realise this (the message), i don't really because i am not old enough yet, but i understand that if i continue on the path i am currently on then i will (probably) end up in a position that i will understand.
im in uni right now
i have two exams to go, of four total. both in the next four days. i decided to get drunk tonight, but not as drunk as normal. over all of the days in 2019, i have drank less than the average day. my average drinking in any given day is approximately 8 units, of which 6.5 ish are on my own
im 19 and a half. i say the half because in 6 months i will be twenty. TWENTY. to me that feels like the definition of old. or at least it did when i started browsing Jow Forums. "i'd have my life together by then" i told myself. but the thing is i do have my life together-ish. i am vaguely smart, im in uni for fucks sake so i have something. i always just do enough to keep the best outcome within reach. the first two years of my degree dont matter as long as i just get the required marks, so i dont try because i know i can get them. this leads to me thinking, "oh, i may as well drink because there's no point doing anything productive." its a slow descent to alcoholism. i daresay i am not there yet but fucking hell i am on my way.
also its the perceived isolation that does you in at first. the feeling that you are alone and there is nobody out there who cares, you keep that prejudice against humanity and then you toy with it and fall in line with the actions that keep the prejudice there, until its no longer just a belief to you, its a fact. and then you think some more. and then you break, you drink to forget that nobody cares, you drink to forget the 'fact' that you had fed yourself through deceit of your senses, the deceit you pulled so you wouldn't have to take responsibility for your own actions.
comes a point when it doesnt matter why you drink, there need not be a starting gun that triggers your overwhelming desire to chug the nerest can or bottle, you just do. Because you have taught yourself that the only consistent way to deal with pain is to drink it away. and this leaks into your life. friends out without you? drink it away. crush didnt look at you the same way? drink it away. had a bad day? drink it away. just done an exam? drink it away. feel nothing? drink it away. negative thoughts building up over the course of months about your negligent behaviour towards your own physical and mental health that has lead you to this very moment of only thinking to drink it away? drink it away.
nothing compares. human contact doesn't compare. you have found your out. the path to """happiness""".
and its not like other bad drugs, at least at uni. drinking alcohol is basically required if you want to have an ordinary social life. admitting your problem has no affect on the ordinary student, as they will agree with you that "yeah haha i could go for a pint right now" but they havent gone through what you have (or at least they might but i seriously doubt it).
i see myself in a couple decades, dying of some cancer i never knew existed, having alienated my family to the point they dont even care, on my deathbed, just staring into ceiling above me, thinking "i dont care". i dont care i've fucked my life. i dont care i have nobody here for me. because i would never have had the power to change the way i am, the people and decisions that have molded me, right onto the path im on now. and i realise this now, and have realised this for a while now, and it hasn't changed a goddamn thing.
my favourite song for a while was Wake Up by Two Door Cinema Club, patly because i always thought that someday i would wake up from my own prison of doubt and hatred (cringy yeah but its me) but now i just dont think it will ever happen. i want to, dont get me wrong, but i just dont see it happening.
i dont know what else to write. see ya later i guess
I know everything you said but there is no way to change it. My subhuman status prevents me from living the normalfag life. I "chose" this life because it is the only option available. Faulting myself as a person for things outside my control would be very stupid.
most people in their 20s are fucking up, you're allowed to be a fuck up in your 20s.
30 is when it gets serious. So don't worry too much.
I've wanted a girlfriend for the longest time but you just can't fucking do it nowadays without risking everything.
Unironically see so much of myself in this post.
Here's to me making this post in 2033 Jow Forums
Hopefully none of us make it to that point. I can't imagine how fucking bad things will be by that year.
Automation will have taken over most jobs at that point, so us zoomer anons who will be boomers by then will probably be poor as fuck or homeless if it hasn't been banned. Then there's the issue of climate change, most anons who live on the coast will have to had been reloacted at some point since we're gonna lose about 50 miles of it. Probably a lot of other shit things will happen that'll make our lives even worse but hey, we're young so it won't affect us for a decade so doesn't matter now.
damn you just described this image from Kaiji
Stop
Eating
You
Fat
Fuck
Being overweight is such a non issue compared to actual robot problems.
Im gonna apologize immediately for being so rude but if i would drop you on a remote empty island with only bread and water you would lose that weight in weeks. THATS how easy your solution is.
>lving ur laif
No existence is worth my time if there is the need to be forced to prostrate themselves to the people who came before you and had the chance to own everything with little to no effort.
We are surrounded by things that want to force us to consume and consume until they day we die. We can't be allowed to be alive if we don't contribute to this death machine they call the civilized world. We aren't allowed to be if we have a viewpoint that isn't allowed by the higher ups.
If you question the narrative you get alienated and demonized.
If you decide to not consume en masse like the others, you get alienated.
If you think about the consequences before you act, you're weird and should get alienated.
Live as a normie or die if you dare to be human.
This is living the life. Obey and never question.
I'd rather stagnate and die than sell out my humanity.
Damn, you told my life, like I was bullied for three years in HS too and dropped uni couple of times. I am hopeless,23 now and quitting my shitty job, but I don't play Vidya and rarely watch anime.