What happened the last time you completely lost control of yourself?

What happened the last time you completely lost control of yourself?

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I have crippling self control, sorry.

i drank 26 beers in 5 hours while watching the wall on repeat.

Must have been a fucking interesting wall.

It's faggy movie

One time my grandpa had a fever and dreamed about a Western movie. I should have asked the plot.

Something usually ends up broken. Last time it was my monitor because I got frustrated at myself and threw the mouse at it.
>Have BPD
>The impulses manifest in destructive angry outbursts
>Can feel the anger and frustrations building
>Eventually "snap" and end up doing something that is out of my control, like throwing the mouse at the screen
>It's an impulse and when it happens I can't stop it
>Afterwards feel like shit and it sends me in a really depressive episode
I'm trying to get on some pills that will at least help in some way. Ideally I'd like to just go through life not giving a fuck but I doubt that will happen any times soon.

I was blackout drunk and punched this known pedophile. This happened about a week ago

Fapped to loli hentai

stayed awake for 5 weeks unless i drank myself unconscious. hardly ate. spent time peeking out the blinds on my windows. ended up at a mental health crisis clinic.

I was on acid and had a panic attack. I lost my ability to speak and I kept trying to say help. I ended up just yelling at my friend "I'm crazy" over and over again until he punched me hard enough to knock me to the ground because he was tripping and freaking out too. I got straight back up and started yelling it over and over again. We were tripping at his cousin's place and that fucker called the cops on us. I blacked out before they arrived, but apparently the cousin forced us outside somehow in the middle of the night during a rain storm and we were just running around in circles when the police came. My friend kicked one of them in the nuts, ran, got tackled, and tazed 4 times. EMTs came and strapped us down and took us to a hospital and we didn't get charged with shit. We think it's because they almost killed my friend. He was in the hospital for like a month after that. They didn't even search us, because he found that he still had tabs of acid in his pants pocket while at the hospital. Fond memory now that it's over.

Attempted suicide just mixing a shitload of drugs. It wasnt intentional but i blacked out and ended up in mental instution. That was a fucking boring and hopefully i will be successful for once next time.

I cried for like 15-30 minutes

I know this feel all to well. Might be an un-diagnosed BPD person. Either that or you're just one of those self diagnosing faggots trying to be edgy and unique. Anyway, I died in a game recently and smashed my dads remote for his brand new TV. I just can't control it, its like a pulse that must be satisfied, the rage won't go until I destroy something. I had to lie and say I lost it and he had to go through the hassle of calling the company and ordering a new one directly from the factory. I think he knows I smashed it. Feelsbadman..

I sperged hard at dinner after everyone was shouting in my face during a retarded argument over Medieval history (something I am very passionate about, I was right btw). Practically REEEEEEE'd but screamed swears and racial slurs instead, surrounded by left-leaning family. It was bad.

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serious drug use usually ends up badly. been there, done that. especially when its hallucinagens combined with police.

Kek what was it abour ?

I am apparently a sperg because I refuse to be quiet when I know I'm right. I know your pain user.

I got pissed off at my brother because he wouldn't clean the dishes, and this turned into me yelling at my grandmother how I hated my family and that it was just full of fuck ups that never amounted to anything (all unrelated to brother). Happened on Christmas

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Last year I was wage slaving at burger king when my manager got on me for working slow yet again.

Apparently I had a mental break, started screaming and punched the manager square in the face. Then I tried to dunk my head in the fryer but was stopped and contained until police were called. Ended up in the phyc ward and faced assault charges. Don't even remember the indecent itself just going to work that day.

That's a bpd trait? Shit, I hope it's just a coincidence or because of my autism

Ran up a $300 bar tab and then sucked off a crackhead

Fug, continue?

I broke my brother's nose and collar bone.

i ended up fucking one of my best girl friends, who was in a couple and ruining a lot of friendships. good sex tho

sometimes it is worth it just to bite your tongue. sometimes you have to defend the truth. are you okay with them now?
was this a long time coming user? it sounds like it.
why? what happened user?

>what happened user?
He slept with my then girlfriend and showed up at my apartment demanding we talk about it. I tried to shut the door on him but he stuck his foot in the way so I just started swinging. Haven't spoken to him or my parents since that day. That was about 9 years ago now.

I hope karma fucks you up one day. Degenerate.

He deserved it. Maybe even more pain one day as a reminder.

Had a kinda bad year last year. Every couple months I would have a breakdown of sorts of isolating and talking shit to myself or bouts of crying, feeling like I was losing a grip with reality. Fun times, can't wait for it to happen again

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I had an allergic reaction to some experimental anti-depressants that my doctor prescribed. Went into psychosis and hallucinated that I was jesus, ended up blacking out, and when I finally regained consciousness I was several miles from my house wearing a bath robe and walking into oncoming traffic on a freeway while the police were following me. Ended up getting taken to a hospital and put in a psych ward overnight until the docs were able to figure out what the fuck happened. They initially thought I had had a heat stroke or something. It was absolutely horrifying.

sounds like suicide fuel really

If I got the opportunity I'd be happy to. Smug piece of shit can't suffer enough. Thought about reconciling with my parents a few times though. Never reached out. Did see my mother but I ignored her.

I haven't, what's it like?

okay that seems like a good enough reason. if you arent comfortable then dont but it was a long time ago. maybe you could reach out to them? have they tried?
we're only human user. its okay to look for help some times. it is cliche but have you considered seeing a doctor about this? it seems better than suffering as you do.

I completely understand, what made you cut contact with your parents in the same time? Did they think it was no biggie or try to forget the whole thing like it didnt happen?

Every night when I nut into my girl

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phyc report was 'mental breakdown' but nothing more was done after I was released from the hold and went to jail. They recommended I follow up with a therapist after it was all over but I didn't ofc.

mom offered to get me a lawyer but I told her to save her money and went with the public defender. I pled guilty and spent 30 days in county jail and was on probation for another 60. Also had a restraining order filed against me by the manager.

On the bright side my mom now lets me neet without complaint now.

When I smoke weed, I [for the most part] lose control of my movements and hallucinate that I'm making noises, my breathing becomes uncontrollable and stuttery. It's like I'm on autopilot and every part of me knows I'm on autopilot but can't do anything but scream internally.
I also sort of 'lose consciousness'. When I give myself little 'goals' to calm myself down like "Go on the computer and open up dark souls", I'll move to do it, sit down at the chair, and just fucking stare at the screen, shaking and stuttering like a schizo and trying to figure out what the hell I was going to do.

I understand the ability for therapy to help people out of a shitty cycle, but it doesn't remove you from everyday life. Plus I don't want to be diagnosed with some faggy shit like depression. I don't want an excuse for how I act and feel, I want to be accountable. I want to be in control, or at least the illusion of control

It didnt end to bad then. These fucking managers are thinking % and trips to dubai to shit on eastern european prostitutes when rest is slaves for them. Ungrateful fucking fucks.

If I ever see him again it'd be too soon. They've all tried a few times. My parents, my brother, my ex girlfriend even. I don't see the point though. I'm doing alright now, living a decent life, what can they give me other than a reminder of painful memories? It sounds dramatic but I don't need them anymore.
They initially tried to play it down and after I fucked my brother up they came around to my apartment in the evening to try and rail against me, try to get me to apologise. My dad threatened to beat me up if I ever laid a hand on my brother again and I told him I'd do the same thing to him if he tried. My mother just cried and called me a bastard.

this is a long one but
>work as an engineer at a small aircraft company, only engineer even though i am fresh out of school
>there is an aircraft that has been in production since 1995 ( i was born in 95)
>vice pres comes to look at it and belittles everyone, including me
>tells me this is an easy solution and he can bring in his screwdriver and fix it in a day, but it shouldnt get to that point
>he asks the engineers to step aside to talk out of earshot of the mechanics
>he tells me to go stand with the mechanics, since im better suited to stand with them instead
>the lead mechanic had to pull me aside and take me for a walk, i didnt realize it but i had flushed red and was visibly shaking
>the mechanics were worried they would lose their only engineer, since they havent had one, historically they have lived in fear of making a mistake until i came along

i didnt even realize i was that angry. they guys were cool, they bought me lunch the next day and made sure i wasnt going to quit or anything

Every time I use the restroom

What a bunch of fucking idiots, good to read your having it decent anyway. Its their loss. Why did they even try to reach out in general? whats the fucking point when the damage has already been done. Fucking people..

Still, I had no right to punch him and those small time mangers aren't making the big bucks to do that.

I was working slowly intentionally too, or I had been in the day or so prior as a shitty form of protest over having to work the day a video game I wanted to play came out.

The way they reached out over the years really shows how fucking shallow they are. They'd text around Christmas or specific birthdays or whatever trying to "reconcile," probably just wanted the whole family back together so they could pretend to be functional. I suppose we did talk once when my grandfather died, albeit over text. Came to an agreement to leave each other alone. Granddad was on my side the whole time anyway. Would've felt bad if I hadn't gone. Apparently he told my old man he's lucky I didn't kill my brother lmao.

I was about to end up in a nasty fight with the girl I dated + the guy she banged (not sure he knew about me tho)
In the end I only fucked her academic life for a year by cancelling a request for some papers she needed urgently to start uni

Smashing my smartphone to the ground after a hell day,my phone cracked into 100 piece

they sound really insensitive. were they always like this to you? its probably best you stay separate from them.

Today

>Wake up
>Go outside
>Light cigarette
>Take one drag
>Instantly shit my pants with no warning whatsoever, right where I'm standing

Nothing like this has ever happened before in my life.

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I recognise that mom&dad trying to look functional because they are so fucking stuck up their asses of what their neighbour is thinking of them instead of actually reflecting the situation was pretty fucking messed up from my view. My mom does it all the time even though i dont have any contact with my siblings. We have nothing in common and when something is wrong and i tell her out on it she ignores or says she doesnt care. Stupid bitch. Godspeed user, your doing good and wish you the best man

Oh yeah since we were kids. He was always the smug prick trying to provoke me and when I lashed out I'd get scolded for it. He could drop dead tomorrow and I'd toast to it. And yeah I plan on staying away.
Always trying to keep up appearances aren't they? I only really speak to my sister and my niece. They're all the family I need though. And yeah take care user, family can be a pain in the ass.

I kicked a hole in the side of the couch. Fabric covers it so nobody can see

Get checked for brain cancer

>had a breakdown of sorts after being kicked out of home after an argument with parents
>walk a mile or two to some nature trails
>attempted to jerk off in the woods near a nature trail to see if it would calm me down (I was a dumb, horny teenager)
>started, but every once in a while people would walk by and i would stop
>don't think anyone saw because there was some trees covering me but i was fucking paranoid
>never end up finishing

This happened five or six years ago but I'm still deeply ashamed of it to this very day and I cringe whenever I think about it. I know I'm fine but I always told myself that if someone saw me and decided to record me I would kill myself.

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Either the particular strein does not agree with you or you should just stay away from weed. As like alot of things, it is not for everyone.

I got involuntarily put in a mental hospital.

What'd you do? Can you remember?

Also, dem trips.

Holy crap that harrowing.
Can't you sue someone for this shit?

I became obsessed with filming time-lapse videos with my phone outside the apartment I had with my now ex. I would do it for 30 minutes at a time, and all it ended up being was just clouds.

I am so sorry that happened but I can't stop laughing.

hope you are feeling better user. been in a similar spot before.

I destroyed a planet in pure unfiltered rage, Kakarot.

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Made half the girls in town preggo
>womp womp

was in a bad mood and my father's girlfriend started yelling at me for no reason. I broke down crying and screaming stuff like "WHY DO YOU HATE ME" and "KILL ME PLEASE KILL ME" I handed her a knife and everything. In the process I snapped the door off her freezer and also threw a bunch of forks and knifes. some of them stuck in the wall. the kitchen was a mess by the time it was over. It was crazy because I never lost control like that before in my life. my body was moving on its own and in my head I was just facepalming

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I just stopped talking to and actively avoiding all the good friends I had for many years out of bizarre paranoia and stopped leaving the house at all, and started spending 8 hours a day on Jow Forums, not for any legitimate reason other than feeling too overwhelmed and tired with everything and am now too scared to recontact them but still want to play a facade that nothing has happened and everything is fine here when it might not be because I'm starting to see things in my peripheral vision and have started believing that certain orders of numbers might be God communicating with me that I am the messiah

situation ongoing

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