You just finished taking the biggest, sloppiest shit of your life

you just finished taking the biggest, sloppiest shit of your life.
you look beside you, and see this.
you look around the room, but there are no more rolls to be seen.
what would you do?

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wait until it dries up

what do you actually do in this position? call a friend? use the brown roll? dig in the trash? towel?

i would never end up in this situation because i'm not retarded and always check if there's toilet paper

>not bringing tissues and/or baby wipes with you

take a shower originally

If I was at a public toilet, probably use my underwear and go no-pantsu until I get home.

never thought of this one thanks

Shower or find a paper towel

But your hand is gonna stink like shet and risk spreading more shet particles around your pants
id likely do it too if i was desperate enough

I've been constipated all day and my body just did the ol' "IT'S NOW SOFT ENOUGH TO SHIT AND FEELS LIKE FIRE" routine out of nowhere so I'm posting this from the shitter but you know what? I just got back from the grocery store and I bought a 16 pack of dope triple-ply Velour toilet paper, the kind with the fluffy kittens on it, I'm all fucking set.

Wipe with my hand and wash it in the sink, repeat a few times and wash my hands with soap thoroughly. Seriously do you even life bro?

I had to do this once and didn't want to clog the school toilet so I just dumped my undies into the trash. It was late at night at band practice so no one would see it until the morning, so I would never be connected. Harrowing, nonetheless. Didn't stink, no one noticed since I was thorough and washed my hands.

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step into the shower and wash the shit off

Use the socks that you are wearing and throw them in the trash afterwards. They are cheap anyway. Also please refer to

Yea, these guys know there emercency shit wipe. Underwear, socks, shirt under sweater if necessary, rip out your pockets. Any piece of non-essential fabric. Not a big deal. Just make sure you put it in the trash, don't take it with you.

This happened at my old job, I went out of the stall and took some paper towels out of the hand towel dispenser.

What? Fabric is more solid than paper so arguably cleaner. Also wash your hands anyway you filthy nigger

Shred the roll into strips, use that to wipe ass.

Hop in the shower

Waddle with my pants about my ankles to my stash of take out napkins