HOW THE FUCK DO YOU HIKIKOMORIS GET OUT OF JURY DUTY?

HOW THE FUCK DO YOU HIKIKOMORIS GET OUT OF JURY DUTY?
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Don't freak out, user. It isn't as big a deal as you're probably making it out to be in your mind.
I had to call several times and only had to go in once. It was boring but even for a robot like me it wasn't a huge deal. You will be fine.
They'll ask you questions to see if you have reasons to doubt your impartiality in that particular case. Fortunately I had a family member who worked in the same field as the defendant, and I guess the prosecutor thought that disqualified me. Don't lie, but if you have any legit reasons be sure to tell them. You might not be picked or might be dismissed early and not have to hear the case.

>claim to be aroused by anything remotely relevant
said I was aroused by car accidents, they just told me to go.

The most surefire way to get out of jury duty is to show up dressed as Adolf Hitler. No one's gonna want you on their jury like that.

pIead autism

Got a letter from my GP saying I was too depressed.
Nigger charged me 5 pounds admin fee tho

never answer the door

oh fuck this is good
i might try this

Why is jury duty such a bad thing? It sounds like a fun way to spend a day of you are neet

this desu
you can make faces and say silly things and make people curious if you are serious

they are forced to respect your opinion

anyone here acutally know what hikikomori is?
like pretty sure OP doesn't even want to leave his room

In the US, just ignore the summons.

Everyone ignores the summons and nothing ever happens to anyone who ignores it.

Two easy ways out
>claim you hate the race/sexuality of one of the involved parties
And as suggested
>claim you are aroused by something related to the case, preferably something wildly inappropriate or would otherwise serve to skew your judgement
Long story short, racism, sexism, and fetishes, make them up or admit to any real ones that are relevant
I'd avoid the racism one if you live somewhere where it's illegal to be racist. Maybe the sexism one in that case too.

Cosplay as doctor phil. Have someone shave your head and everything. All the other jurors will walk around talking about bald caps. If the cap doesn't fit, you must acquit.

It's so retardedly easy to be dismissed in the screening.

"Why would the police officer arrest someone who didn't committed a crime?"

Boom, done.

If op never leaves his house he could just ignore the summons. When you ignore it they usually put a warrant out for your arrest, which means if a cop finds you for any reason they'll arrest you there for contempt of court. And it's usually over something stupid like having a tail light out. But if you legitimately never go outside, then they'll never find you.

This issue with that though is that a bench warrant never expires. It'll follow you around until you either get arrested or die, so think carefully about how you want spend the rest of your life.

In the UK you get fined 1000 pounds so that isn't an option

Yeah, unless the police come to your door... I don't know how common that is but it happened to my aunt

That's what happens if you have multiple warrants out for your arrest. If it's just one they usually don't bother, but they still could if they really want to.

i just didnt go and nothing happened

Just say you can't stop yourself from subconciously discriminating against X race

Mine just came in the mail as well user

I have no fucking idea what I am going to do, but my Father told me that theres a good chance I dont have to go in cause something something the process they choose out of a big pool after assigning you a number
so if you call and ask them about it the night before they could tell you if you ACTUALLY have to come in or not

Tell them you can't participate because of personal biases.

I went in actually hoping I'd get picked. apparently I stood out because I was the only one there in a shirt and tie. I waited around for a whole day, they finally called the group I was in, but when I told them I was unemployed the lawyers chatted for a second and decided they didn't want me and the judge told me I was free to go. I was a bit disappointed desu.

(I got paid $37 for it, like six weeks later)

did you know you can't be held accountable for envelopes you don't open?

>somewhere where it's illegal to be racist
where the fuck is that

i've been sent a jury duty letter twice. both times i called the night before and the message said they no longer required me to come. that most likely will happen to you, jury trials are pretty rare

What's the worse that can happen?
>you can call the night before in case it cancels (usually)
>drive downtown, they'll still probably pay you $5 or whatever (at the very least) and comp the parking garage fee, you can go get yourself a snack in the area
>if you get picked, you can play god as you decide the fate of another person (statistically favored to be a basketball American, though you may get lucky and be in a high-profile case) that makes the choice whether they go to jail or no, AND you get free food (usually pizza or sandwiches)
There is literally no downside unless you work in a job that pays more.

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Wait, what? Sexually aroused or is this a legal term I don't know?

Tell them crime gives you a boner.

This guy has a point. But as someone who worked as a paralegal I can say that if you state to the judge that you are a firm supporter of jury nullification then they usually will let you go. If you say you are racist or plead autism they will not let you go. And DO NOT MISS THE SUMMONS THE COPS WILL ARREST YOU FOR THAT!!! Not immediately, but if you ever interact with a cop in the future they will check your ID and see you have a warrant for your arrest

just tell them you hate kikes, spics, and niggers

I would go on jury duty and make unreasonable choices like saying that an obvious rapist is innocent just to spite the roastie victim.