>have programming job
>on a small but vital team that does most of the company's backend work
>other teams have problems with deadlines and stuff
>some people dont stay focused at work + tight deadlines = CEO wanting people to stay late
>always get all my work done
>stay a little later to make sure what I was looking at gets finished
>manager from another team is messing around with me, pokes a stab at how I'm slow at programming
>can't tell if hes being serious, see another manager laughing at us in the background
>paranoia sets in
>already an outlier in the dev group because of my past drinking antics, nothing bad but they've seen me wasted.
>also struggle with panic half the time talking to coworkers because I think they are judging me mid conversation.
>my manager says I'm doing a good job
God damnit I know he was just messing with me because I dont fuck around at work, even if I program a little slow (debatable), it's always good working code and I dont have an issue with deadlines.
Now this company ceo is going to flip some shit this week about logging time or something because other people are slacking. I feel like I'm getting lumped in with them.
Cant tell if people outside my team and higher up people know how much work I do or if I'm being paranoid.
Fucking bullshit. I'm making three points to them if they come at me in anyway.
1) most of my work in reactive, break in work not planned for.
2) scoping sometimes is completely inaccurate and sometimes something that seems straightforward is actually more tedious and complex than originally thought.
3) When multiple teams keep asking me for small things, it adds up. It makes me take longer on whatever I'm working on and goes back to the first point.