>be introvert and spend 90% of free time at home
>be this big party of wedding
>i meet a lot of people from my extended family
>they fucking know A LOT of stuff about me, stuff i consider private
>realise that i have to hide any issue or personal info from my own fucking family
>basically "truman show" but in real life.
>get mad as fuck.
>>user what is wrong? why are you mad?
now i just isolated myself from everybody waiting for this fucking event to end.
what do you mean by private
what did they know about you
this is the reason i don't see extended family
im a hermit but my mom lives with me and i know she's telling everybody that i sit at my computer smoking weed and dont shower for weeks
I was once like that, too, but I don't think that's a healthy mindset. Ask yourself why you are so afraid of other people knowing you? Why do you feel vulnerable? People talk about people since the beginning of the language and they most mean no harm.
This is why I dislike my family. I was always paranoid but finding out my parents constantly talk about me behind my back and to other relatives and stuff is unbearable
There is always stuff thats none of other people's business. If you trust someone enough to disclose some of that private stuff to e.g. your mother, thats one thing, but if she decides to tell everyone in the family, including people you only see like once a year or even just once a decade, its another thing. Thats just abuse of trust. Those people could as well be strangers for all you have to do with them. And nobody really wants to tell random strangers something personal or private.
You could say that we always do that on the internet but those are mostly not people we interact with in real life. Also, we consider the 'audience' trustworthy enough to either handle the information well or to ignore it and move on. Either thing is mostly not possible in real life. I mean, things do get awkward when you're meeting up with people and decide to share some really private information about yourself, like you have clinical depression or something.
I've read something on a tumblr post which was like "Telling your personal problems to people on the internet is great. It's like you're screaming in the void and the void screams back". Sums it up pretty well
Yeah i feel you user. That's one of the reasons why i am super private and reserved when it comes to my personal issues. It's mostly none of people's business and i'd get judged a lot if i'd be open about it.
It's alright to have some private things and secrets. The other thing is to be ashamed of who you are. I doubt she told them anything she wouldn't want others to hear about her. And concerning stuff like depression it's understandable for her wanting to share it with others because as your mother she is probably worried about you. Worry creates stress and one method to cope with stress is by talking to others.
But if it's troubling you that much you should sit down with her and talk about it. Retreating further away from other people will not only not solve anything but also make those issues you have way bigger and ironically more noticeable.
Do as you see fit but do.
>Ask yourself why you are so afraid of other people knowing you?
If people know me they won't leave me alone.
What private things? If you spend 90% of your time inside, there cant be much to know.
You're definitely not wrong, talking to others definitely would relieve some stress and maybe help you with a mental illness.
But if the people you want to tell are already kinda disrespecting towards you, you don'T really want to tell them anything (for me it's my mother). I'm pretty open about my issues in public when i'm around people my age, simply because i feel like they're more likely to understand and actually pay attention to it than people 35+.
Also, sharing things like mental issues with family is a kinda weird thing because you can't just nope out of their life if they treat you badly. You gotta bear with them being asses, inconsiderate and disrespectful towards your illness. Not that i made any experience like that myself, simply because i keep everything private.
Idk maybe we're just afraid of getting hurt? I mean as soon as people know about you, you give them information they can potentionally hurt you with. Or we're generally afraid of closure or rather abandonment, neglegt or, again, being hurt. Idk man, it's not like they won't leave me alone like OP said, but the thought of opening up to my family, especially to my mother is scary. It comes with a lot of undealt problems and trauma and confrontation. Maybe some of us aren't ready for that yet?
Given enough time small regrets will always grow too big to handle. If you are not ready, then you are not ready and that's ok. Just don't think you can keep swimming against the current and not exhaust yourself one day. Good luck, user.
fuck off avatarfag
faggot
Thank you user for listening to my ramble, i hope you have a great day!
Personal health issues, the fact that i struggle with human comunication, the fact that i don't have any friends, the fact that i isolate myself, thr fact that i'm good at nothing.
i pretend none of these are an issue and lie my way out of situations by pretending that i'm good at stuff.
now i can't even meet a family member without expecting them to mock me.
which in turn makes me lose all hope in getting rid of the isolated fucking life.
If they already share shit like this then i'm not willing to share any issues be it physical or mental even if i need help. i rather die than lose my privacy, the remaining of it anyways.
All people have bad habits, mistakes and vulnerabilities, these tend to show at home and we do our best to hide outside becaase we can.
Now if i talk with a family member they will use this private information to degrade, laugh, mock and i can't say anything against it becuase they are all facts and they have solid sources.
all i can do is isolate myself further to prevent their bullshit which isnt helping me.
>she is worried about your isolation
>she makes it impossible for people to not mock you
>isolates me further and now from my own family
>me forced to keep everything locked up in my head
Fuck you for doing this, mom.
>but its true! its your fault for being this is way!
That's a good method to be seen as even weirder and become more outcasted than before.
The old saying in regards to the police, that "anything you say can and will be used against you", applies to every aspect of life, no exceptions.
this guy gets it very well, thank you for understanding can't wait to be independant and cut these fucks from my life.
>but its true! its your fault for being this is way!
these are the worst kind of people.
>Personal health issues, the fact that i struggle with human comunication, the fact that i don't have any friends, the fact that i isolate myself, the fact that i'm good at nothing.
same user, same
>me forced to keep everything locked up in my head
maybe see a therapist? i know this is THE basic answer to all mental health problems, but they wouldnt exist if they wouldnt help. Can't do any harm to try it out, right? There are also lots of online therapy sites, many having volunteers. if neither is for you, i'm always up for a talk, add me on discord if you want to (@Apotrox #6490). Often i may not have the energy to handle other's problems, but i will always try to put in some effort or at least clarify that i'm not in the correct state of mind to be handling anything.
Yeah that's what i meant before (, )
I think the key element here is how other people handle the information. Are they understanding or total jerks about it.
same, i'm always thinking about moving out and cutting ties with my mother.
but also, i kinda want to try to be more loving and considerate towards her, just to see if she returns it. I've always lacked a healthy mother-child relationship, so i just want to try building one.
Use it as a fuel to improve.
you family is low-key laughing at you
this can backfire heavily imo. Do you want to improve just because OTHERS laugh about you and mock you? Changing oneself because of others is just absurdly wrong. I mean, you wouldn't change your style just because your class or co-workers mock you for it, would you? You'd rather quit that job/ change school, just to change your enviroment. It's not the flowers fault for not blooming in the wrong enviroment.
i saw this comment and instantly started crying as i realised how fucked i am, crying helps.
Yes. I suppose your feel is worth a bump.