Hey r9k. this is a thread (again) where you can write whatever. ill respond to you in some shape or form. all of you...

I don't have friends and I don't have anyone i trust so I need ways to get attention from mere acquaintances like classmates

1 time wen i was 12 i was in the bath with my chubby little cousin who was 8 and she tried to get me to have sex with her and i pretended to ignore her until she grabbed my balls and i let out a girl scream

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well, i am now
tried both and failed, we do nothing together, im not sure what i should be doing

should've let her, cuck

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that's a bit of a shocking kill list--but i guess what's important now is whether you feel remorse or regret for it? i would hesitate to call you a bad human if you did feel bad. we're all learning.
then i think the problem is less "i want sympathy and attention" and more "i want a friend". but... getting friends in real life is difficult. are there clubs at your school? as dorky as it sounds, a gaming club, dnd club, anime club, lit club, etc can be excellent places to gain acceptance and make friends. online, i think making a tumblr positioned towards your own unique interests and then following those with similar interests is a good way to make friends, too, albeit slowly. you can follow each other (if your content is good) and then hit them up in their dms--sometimes they won't be receptive, but other times they might be completely onboard. i met my third girlfriend this way.
i'm sorry to hear that. i have no idea what i would do in a situation like that either--probably the same?
i guess it's hard to work with such little details. would you mind explaining more the exact intricacies of you two's relationship towards each other?

Hey I'm that one user that asked if me playing fucked up was funny or not. I'm about to get fucked up and play dying light with a friend anyone wanna watch?

I wanted to buy some of those alcoholic cat prints but the cool ones are all sold out. :(

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well op thats the problem i wanna do it again and whenever i get the chance i try to hurt people so it looks like an accident or manipulate situations to see some pain or blood. Genuinely i dont know if its just me being a robot and having autism or if im disturbed somehow

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you have fun, user. be sure to post your favorite VOD later if the thread's still up
there are more of these?? thank you so much, saved.

How do I get my father to stop drinking a dozen or more bottles of shitty, cheap beer on a nightly basis? I'm concerned for his health.

Ever jerk off a dog?

if you feel the compulsion to want to hurt or maim, yeah, i would suggest you might be disturbed somehow. this isn't a point against you or anything, but it would be for your benefit to talk to a professional.

in the mean time, maybe try to blow off steam in video games that sort of allow for this kind of thing, like postal 2 or hitman. in fact, if you making things look like an accident, hitman is probably perfect for you.

just... dont take any tips from that game into real life, okay?

i dont think there's any be-all solution to this, but would you believe me if i told you i was also in your shoes? i came up to my dad one night and expressed my frustration at his drinking habit and explained how it hurt my mother, my sibling, and myself. he seemed to take it to heart and slowly eased his way off to just two beers a night, and i dont think he's relapsed into drunkenness since.

it's worth telling him how you feel.
no. have you?

no there are no clubs and i cannot take any initiative because of overwhelming anxiety, that is why im looking for a way to draw attention to myself. im not interesting to talk to either, i cant even keep a conversation going and i speak like a robot, i barely have any passion for anything. i'd like to become an hero but i dont wanna hurt anyone so im trapped now

sure, i saw her threads here and saw that shes full of problems and was pretty sad i tried helping her but it didnt make a difference, i just kind a have this overwhelming urge to help im not sure if i love her but i care about her a lot so just sperged out and told her i want to be with her irl, now i just get very sad when i see she doesnt care about me, i think she loves this psychopath dude, i never felt this strongly about something before so im not sure whats wrong with me either

>no. have you?
Yes. When I was 11 or 12

ive tried those before. its not real after spending three nights in one sitting just murdering people and it gets old. I dont wanna go to a therapist they'd just throw me in a cushion room were id be popping pills till I die. I dont know if I should just go with it and let it get worse as i hurt myself and others for pleasure or I should kill myself like I deserve

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i dont know what she thinks about me, but its probably not good and she doesnt trust me

How do I stop thinking about every single aspect of every single object, machine, mechanism, number, fluid, glass, I see?

What are you drinking? I'm about to down some more blue velvet.

Welp, this is finally it /b/
>family despises me
>spent literally all of my life on 4ch and 8ch
>no gf
>poor

Since you guys have been chill with me, I'll be chill with you. This board has always been my favorite.
Live streaming my suicide in roughly 15 minutes. c

Iive stream link + further explanation:
pastebin.com/Q0vtwk8p

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I'm very high I ate too many dates and pretzels and me and myr girlfriend are watching honey and clover and she's mad I'm taking too long too type this gang shit bang shit I do gangshit

you should smoke weed user

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In the span of time between you pulling the trigger and you dying -- in that small sliver of a moment -- you will experience the greatest feelings of regret you've ever felt.

You don't want this user. Try again another day

i'm glad you dont want to hurt anyone with suicide. it's important to recognize that there are those who do care. i don't believe that youre not interesting to talk to, either--you seem like someone who is very aware and down to earth considering how real youre dealing with all of this, and that's appreciated. i feel really bad though that i feel unable to provide any good advice. i'm just not sure what to do in this situation. ): i hope it feels better to at least vent about it online.
... ah. is it a fond memory? or do you regret it?
i guess i understand where youre coming from, and that fear would definitely give me second thoughts, too. but if youre reasonable about your mental health, theyre not going to just toss you into a stereotypically padded room! instead of leading with "i want to kill and hurt others", you can say "i used to harm animals when i was younger and i feel the urge to do it again and im not sure what to do" followed by a reassuring "i have not acted on my desires". professionals want to help! i promise!
ahh, i see, she's a fembot? if you can tell that she genuinely cares about this "psychopath" person more than you and has rejected your advances, you may not be able to found a relationship with this girl. that sucks, and the hardest part is letting go, but this doesnt sound healthy for you to pursue otherwise.
how do you mean? that sounds really interesting.
i'm drinking a mixture of vodka and strawberry kiwi juice. kind of girly i guess, but it makes it very easy to go down. i dont think ive ever heard of a blue velvet, but it looks real tasty
you were posting this garbage yesterday too. quit tricking people into joining your /b/ discord server.

that sounds really comfy, user. i genuinely hope one day i can be in your shoes--very high, eating pretzels with a girlfriend while watching anime. livin the dream, man.
that was very poetic. thank you for this, and i hope they take that to heart.

>... ah. is it a fond memory? or do you regret it?
Well it's not the kind of thing that I would want anyone to know. The dog enjoyed it though. He came multiple times all over my hand, wrist and arm.

>genuinely cares about this "psychopath"
im not sure, im not sure what shes thinking at all, i dont want to give up but it will only get harder from here

Why doesn't she trust you? What went wrong? Maybe it's still salvageable

>Well it's not the kind of thing that I would want anyone to know.
yeah i... wouldnt tell anyone else about that, personally.
it's not about giving up, though, and i think it's important to understand that. it's more realizing that this person isnt worth any further effort invested if theyre not interested themselves in reciprocating. you don't deserve that. you deserve to have the love you pour into someone be returned with just as much vigor.

>how do you mean? that sounds really interesting
It's not. My thoughts are just useless garbage that you can't make a discussion about, and to be honest it's embarrassing. For example, thinking about a mechanism I see, like I don't know, on the bus or something, and imagining many different ways some action can result in some output. I don't fucking know it's retarded. I have to do it with everything I see. How you get from X to Y. Fuck it I don't know.

Just cut the long way. A lot of attention will be given to you at your retarded funeral.

can't use the toaster oven or microwave anymore, as they share a circuit with the fridge which overloads easily. this house is a shithole, as is this whole fucking area, yet Silicon Valley makes it expensive as all fuck. Trump needs to hurry up and regulate them into bankruptcy already, as that's the only way I'll be able to get a room in a house that's not in a Mordor tier slum or falling apart

i don't think it's embarrassing! but i can understand being frustrated with this. is it possible you might have OCD? or are on the spectrum somewhat? im not mocking you by suggesting these, but a professional may be able to give you an opinion if you're interested.
don't be rude.

she barely knows me and she has her problems too, i dont know how to change that
i dont know what i should do, i dont know if i can do that

Best advice you could get, tripman. I'm not really worth anyone's time. I have mental problems and I'm afraid of everything. We don't know each other, yet you want to drop everything and come here. Even hinted at wanting children. It's all distressing to me. Just find someone who can make you happy, because I can't. Also, fuck Kashii, that dumb normalfag.

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what on earth has my thread played host to? the two of you... don't seem to be a good fit, considering what im hearing. i'm sorry.

>are you on the spectrum somewhat?
I understand that your question doesn't have hostile intent. Whenever I try to describe "this", it makes me think I am autistic, but I only try to talk about it online, I don't talk about what I think about to other people. I am socially capable and don't display any other symptoms although thinking about literally everthing I see makes me seem detached. I don't know. I hate it. I just want to be involved in what is going on around me. And I would like to be able to share what I think about with other people but nobody cares about that stupid shit and it'd be boring. I think I am definitely not autistic, I was a normal kid. I don't know sorry if you don't get it I hate talking about it because it makes me feel autistic. I also hate calling it "it" because it's just me thinking about stupid shit. I don't fucking know. I'm bad at expressing myself.

>I'm not really worth anyone's time
i wish you didnt think that, this doesnt have anything to do with kashii even if you think it has, can you honestly tell how you feel about kierk? and i dont mean just being afraid of him, i thought being honest was the best way to go about things thats why i said everything that i did

yea i hate doing this, everytime i start talking about how i feel it goes down like this

again, i really dont think it's stupid! and youre expressing yourself just fine. i think you should try to start being a little nicer to yourself. it's okay if you dont want to talk about it irl, but it may help you cope if a professional can acutely assess whats going on and work with you on it--that is, if you feel it's a big issue, and i sort of get the feeling that you're sick of it. it's all up to you, but please do know that you are not any lesser for talking about this or thinking about it all. you're cool, man

It's not that I dislike myself for it. It's that when I'm with other people I can't find something I can talk about that will keep them engaged. I don't want to talk about what I think about anymore so I'll stop coming up with examples. But I'll go bowling or something with my brother's friends and they'll wonder why I don't talk about anything with them or space out. I am a boring person to be around because of it and consequently it makes me lonely because no one finds me interesting. I just want to be able to stop when I want to man.

>We don't know each other
i wish i could change that, how the fuck did kierk managed that

lmao, just get over it dude, even so, she doesn't love him anymore. But you fucked up already.

you're not one to tell me this supporting a fucking psychopath

I have my reasons, but i won't do it anymore since Aiste asked me to stop. Besides, you know this obsession of yours is not helping anyone, right?

just wanna reply to say that i feel the exact same way. i'm totally ware of all my weirdness but i just don't fucking know what to do about it.

don't know if this will apply to you at all, but i've noticed that this feels at its absolute worst whenever i decide to drink alone

i know its crazy and im over doing things, makes everyone feels bad but im not bottling shit up

I can only see a slow decline on your mental health in the future if things continue like this.
Well, way worse than it is already is.

You still there OP? I long for human connection but I'm too far gone. I feel extremely alienated and I'm very paranoid, every time I try reaching out I only feel worse after confirming the futility of pursuing it (maybe it's the same for everyone else? if I knew for a fact the answer to this I'd be relieved). How do I convince myself I don't need it? Sometimes I think very few people other than parents-offspring give a fuck about others, even between normies it all looks so fake, does this sound like cope or am I onto something?

yeah im still here, sorry. not sure what to say now that some... other thing is happening in this thread. anyway.

im not sure it would be wise to convince yourself you dont need it considering how much you probably do--i do, too, after all. companionship is the most important thing i look for in life. why what happens when you try to reach out, and why does it confirm your idea of it being futile?

im having a bad day and i need to vent, i dont think im crazy yet, now aiste hates me

typical, no response. OP is a lying sack of shit, go fuck yourself faggot

i apologize, i completely missed this. there has got to be a better solution to allowing yourself to use the toaster oven and microwave, right? no one should have to go without.

yeah, moving to an area that isn't an overpriced shithole because the evil rich cunts killing free speech online don't live there. either that or stealing a truck and a fuckton of fertilizer then driving it into Facebook HQ

i wish you luck in the assassination of zuckerberg, user

What happens is I notice at best it's only a few similarities that I share with others, superficial stuff that gets you a few long conversations and that's it, sometimes in an effort to connect I fool myself into changing how I am and it feels so fake. But you gotta give to receive no, how much is too much? I know this is the wrong approach so I try to get further and it only widens the distance. It's futile because it only confirms what an alien I've become. I don't know also even if I was "well-adjusted" something something hedgehogs, seems to be part of being human. To be honest I've grown to dislike interacting with others in spite of wanting that human warmth. Thus I must convince myself it's unnecessary.

>worried about autistic discord gf for the last two days
>she normally calls twice a day
>silence for the last two days
>begin to feel really lonely and scared
>she calls today
>she was on vacation this whole time
>says she was thinking about me
>tell her how much i missed her and how much i love hearing her talk
>she said when she gets home we need to have some fun
this might sound pathetic but its such a relief to talk to her again

Today I narrated myself as I made a ham and cheese sandwich. The three pieces of ham and the one piece of cheese were squished into rape by two pieces of bread. I was the only person that could eat away the rape.

as you say, conversation is definitely giving to recieve, and i dont know if you would be right to call yourself fake--we naturally adapt to new people while not losing the composition of who we are. you'll know this when you meet people that are so divorced from who you are that you change little, because you know yourself how little of a chance the two of you have long term. don't be so hard on yourself! you're just being a good conversationalist.
(: this made me really happy to read, user. be sure to give her a big hug next time you can, okay?

>tfw no money
>tfw no dealer
>tfw you endure hell sober
>tfw you unironically envy Jow Forums junkies

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I almost witnessed the rape of the girl i love by some drunk russian i beat the shit out of. If it werent for his friends i would've thrown him off of the rooftop we were on. After sharing my feelings for the girl and idk if she meant that she loved me, she said she doesnt remmember alot because fuck alcohol. It was a hard day yesterday

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i love doing that when no one else is home! but uh... we have... different ideas of what exactly is happening to our food, i think.
i know the feeling too well. most nights have been spent drunk, personally. anything to escape.
holy shit, it sounds like you went through a great deal of, well, something. a lot of respect for anyone who can stop a rapist, though.

shes 2000 miles away so i cant hug her
each time she called i could hear the squishing sounds from her pussy as we talked and im looking forward to that again

>i could hear the squishing sounds from her pussy as we talked
well that's... that's great, user. here's to more of you two's very happy relationship.

Ah fuck it I'm here and drinking myself.

The arc of circling bodies is determined by the length of their tether. Moons, coins, men.

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i'm not really sure what that means, but i appreciate the words anyway. enjoy your drinks, user.

>i know the feeling too well. most nights have been spent drunk, personally. anything to escape.
desu I experience some schadenfreude when I see them all pumped up followed by rivers of tears and regret lel. Just don't rub it in my face. Like fuck your fake happiness nigga that's cheating, learn it's an illusion. Hope that won't happen to me, I'd be very selective when using them.

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yeah im... not quite sure i entirely follow, but i get the gist of what youre saying. it feels overly negative to say this, but it definitely feels like some happiness is more fake than others. im not sure.

i'm too attracted to blood. but you can always seek consensual experiences with that, and search safe ways of bloodplaying

i still love my ex even though i've started dating someone new. i don't think there is any way to salvage the old relationship.
what do i do here?

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i guess the most important question to ask yourself is... is it fair to date someone new while unable to reconcile your own feelings for someone old? this answer is completely up to you, but seeing as youve come to this thread and asked for help--i would say it isnt.

there's nothing wrong with moving on, especially if you're sure that there isnt a way to salvage what's been left in the past. but this new girl absolutely doesnt deserve to bear the brunt of being a rebound. it's not fair, you know?

in the end, you'll have to do what you think is best. there is the chance that your feelings for your ex will slip away and youll begin a new love with this new girl--but there is also the chance that these feelings wont die, and you'll put this girl through more stress than you're worth. it's all up to you.

it was a while ago now that my ex and i ended things. i'm worried that my current girlfriend /is/ a rebound, or at least the product of brief infatuation. as time goes on, i feel nothing emotional for her and only find joy in the sex and the physical touchy, affectionate stuff.
i think i've already put my new gf through enough stress because i talk too much about my ex and i can feel her getting less and less tolerable to my comments. i worry my feelings are here to stay.

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i'm glad you're self aware enough to realize you might be hurting your current gf. like i said before, none of this is very fair to her. it would be in your best interest to stop bringing her up, and just focus on her. if you really dont feel any emotional connection but enjoy the physical anyway, then whatever, it's short term and you're not going to marry her.

but dont string this girl along, alright?

I always want someone to talk to but when presented with that I don't know what to talk about. Is that literally all that's on my mind?

i'll do my best not to, user.

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you can always talk about shared interests. that's usually a good place to start, anyway. when youre presented with a conversation, is it not with someone who you share common ground with?

I don't get presented with conversations IRL. I imagine the same thing would happen IRL, but in my reply I was referencing being presented with this thread, where I can say anything and get a response and can't think of anything to say despite someone to talk to being the only thing I want.

ah! i apologize for misunderstanding your intentions. unfortunately, it's getting very late so i'll be going to bed soon--but! i'll probably make another thread like this sometime. so just think about what you want to say until then

Okay bye. IRL asking people questions about themselves is reliable. I would be better in your position making the thread. But I would probably only be able to give bland replies. Fuck me.