I want something genuine

Everything feels so fake and unreal.

I spent all my spare income on escapism and hookers. I did everything I could think of except getting pissed in my mouth by an asian in a schoolgirl outfit. Not sure if I want to do it. What if it tastes bad?

I go to hookers, have the time of my life and then I go home to my dark and empty room and lurk Jow Forums or watch random youtube videos and anime. All to numb my brain and distract me from the endless same hell I live in.

I feel nothing except horniness. I am horny all the time. I jack it 3-5 times a day. I jack off at least twice after visiting a hooker. I kiss and cuddle with them. I smile and laugh. I eat their ass and lick their armpits. In the moment it fulfills my hedonistic desires but after that? It's just waiting for my next paycheck if I blew all my spare income on hookers.

No friends, no gf, nothing. I have a niche hobby and have a decent instagram following but it does nothing but say +1 like. I get no rush from it and feel no pride. Not because others have 10x the following, but rather because it feels so detached from me. I only showed my hand, never my ugly face. Who wants to see it anyway. But it feels like it's not a real part of me.

My two favorite thai hookers went away. Two more never came back. All I can think about is sex and fucking more hookers. I see a cute girl irl and all I can think about is to fornicate with her. My mind is filled with degenerate thoughts.

All I wanted to have when I grew up was a gf, then wife and kids. Now I have a minimum wage job and porn. What is there to look forwards to? Another good looking hooker that let me spread her ass and sniff it? Done that dozens of times. It doesn't get old but I want more.

Just more. Something genuine.

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Everyone starts to feel like this. It it is really strange but It seems everyone is getting tired of everything. Amount of these threads just confirm it. 2 or 3 I saw yesterday. Maybe try religion, user? Some people say it works, cant confirm myself though

whats your hobby? i can't figure it out by the post

Scale models. I build and paint them and take pictures to share with others. Everyday vidya was too passive for me and I think I wanted to create something that lasts.

I don't know if you'll ever find something genuine when you're dealing with humanity. Society makes people inherently fake and untrustworthy. Even long-term relationships and marraiges are often fraught with mind games and deceit. And it's no wonder when society tends to inadvertently punish people who make the mistake of being open and honest.

It sounds cliched but the only possible hope of finding something genuine is to find it within yourself. The moment you need to rely on any one of the feckless, amoral, general population, is the moment you doom yourself to disappointment and resentment.

I was alone my whole life. I was not happy. I started to escortmaxx and it was nice at first. Now it's still nice but I burned a lot of money, learned how to avoid scammers, lost interest in "real" girls because sex is just a few messages away, but I know that I'm addicted.

It's the same instant gratification that video games and snacks give. I lack long term thinking and motivation. All I can think about is the next spread thai ass. Is this all that life has to offer?

I ofen think that we are surplus men that would've been killed druing a famine or war back in the old days.

>Is this all that life has to offer?
It's really sad but yeah. All anyone is doing is getting as much gratification as they can before the inevitable trip to the grave. If you're unable to find meaning within work, or through mastering a passion/hobby, then I'm afraid this world has nothing for you beyond obtaining base pleasure. And I don't say that with any kind of judgement, I'm in the same boat. Except in my case I don't bother with most base pleasures because I'm burnt out enough on life that even that doesn't matter to me anymore.

It's all on you to find a genuine connection to the world through mastering something, working toward/for something, spending time in nature, etc. If you're really lucky, you'll be able to find contentment through the simple pleasures in life, e.g. sitting next to a warm fire, enjoying a hot meal on a cold winter's night, sitting on a beach listening to the sound of the ocean, immersing yourself in a particularly good book/show/anime, and so on.

All the things you listed like books, anime, etc. are jsut escapism to me. I work to get food and money for distractions. I wish I was less self-aware. I'm not intelligent enough to change anything but not stupid enough to not think about anything.

What's the point in going on if there's no light at the end of the tunnel? I don't want to die, I just want a different life. I see happy couples, successful people and all I do is go to work, go home and masturbate and watch anime. Once a week I fuck a hooker to get intimacy. And I have my hobby that lets me create something.

I hear what you're saying and I'm afraid I don't have the answer, no one does. I'm a bit of an oldfag and I've realised that what you see with those happy couples, the fulfilling romance on TV and in anime, it's all a sham. The reality is that for the vast majority of people it's unachievable. That loving partner who genuinely wants the best for you and has your back through thick and thin isn't realistic in the slightest. Not saying there might be the odd rare exception, but it's just not realistic for most people.

>What's the point in going on if there's no light at the end of the tunnel? I don't want to die, I just want a different life.
I know this feel well and after spending many years thinking about it I still don't have any answers beyond what I've mentioned earlier. You and I are both unable to find fulfillment or contentment through the normal means, or at least are unable to be distracted by the lack of meaning through escapism. In my case I've given up on life and society completely. Apart from a few friends who aren't complete assholes (a rare trait) I'm largely disconnected from society. I've sold most of my possessions and will probably spend the rest of my life moving from place to place. This was only possible through prudent financial decisions enabled by my wagecuckery earlier in life.

I fully recognise there's no place for people like me in society and the best I can hope for is to simply rootlessly wander until I die. It was either that or spending most of my life wageslaving for no real benefit. I just couldn't justify the 9+ hours a day working full-time when there's no real reason to at the end of the day.

i feel you...im not horny 24/7 but i think of it alot.
Had a gf 3-4 months ago...She is a Virgin, all i ever wanted to "deflower?" her. She broke up with me. i was this close to have sex with her but yea..my life now isnt that nice..im just horny and trying to find a another decent looking virgin im desperate for that....but for you i think you should stop going there and doing something more helpful for your life. Working for minimum wage is just so meaningless and doesnt feel so good actually. Do something your always interested in, but nothing sexuall, it will destroy you