Starting to lose my grip on reality. 7 year hikineet here. Think it might be time lads

Starting to lose my grip on reality. 7 year hikineet here. Think it might be time lads.

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5 years going on strong. It's amazing to me how content I am just watching dumb youtube videos all day.

What's a hikineet?

Hikikomori neet. Means you don't work/study, and you're a shut-in.

Oh sweet that's me too. 7 years and going strong.
Cant kill myself yet though cause my stepfather is dying and my mother needs someone.

do you know you guys piss me off sometimes? I have to wagecuck myself every day pretending to be likable and force myself to start conversations because that's what you do and you guys don't even give a fuck and probably feel even better than me most of the time

If you're so depressed why haven't you given up yet? What drives you?

I'm afraid giving up makes it worse. I feel without the nice materialistic things I can afford everything would be even more dull and bleak. Because that bit of social participation is enough to reduce my loneliness to a bearable level. Because killing myself would be equally pointless on a grand scheme of things than going through with it and I'm curious what feelings I might be still able to find in this world.
And then it all get so tiresome and I question if it's all worth it but I know I will still go on tomorrow and then I hate myself for it and I hate you for it

You have a lot of anger in your heart friend. I hope the future is bright for you and you get to experience those pleasant feelings you desire.

Thank you that was very kind of you, I immediately feel much better

I think youre pretty based user


t. NEET

You're welcome that's good to hear.
I envy people like you and I hope I can push myself one day to become a wagecuck like yourself. It'll certainly be better than sitting at home wondering where my life's gone each day.

don't care what pisses you off normalfag. you have a job and are apparently sociable enough to fit in so you're well adjusted. probably even have a circle of friends. so I'm not going to shit on you because wagecucking sucks but your situation likely isn't that bad.
and you're wrong that we don't give a fuck. the dread is constantly looming over our heads.

I ask myself where my life is going still every day. But because work makes you not think of these things, the time passes so much faster. You shut off and hope the weekend is there and on the weekend you stare blankly and exhausted at the wall wondering how it could be that already another week, another month, another year has passed. I force myself whenever I can to take some time to do something special, like a hike or so, and that really helps but it costs an unbelievable amount of effort to get me do it

most NEETs are just as miserable as wagecucks but just for different reasons

life is suffering.

the truly miserable are the NEETs who dont receive any income whatsoever and are forced to survive on scraps from their increasingly hostile families

why are you so bitter? And why do we need a competition in who suffers worse, is that how low you have sunken? Deep enough for your suffering being the only thing left that defines you?

yup. I read somewhere that prolonged isolation can cause brain damage. and I'm increasingly showing schizophrenic tendencies. It's genetic. not long before I completely snap.

sorry to hear, I wish you a painless snapping then

I've looked at the "agony" chart of pain level suicide methods. Shotgun to the dome is apparently the quickest. Don't think I could ever do that though.

I always wonder why not just OD on heroin

Me too! Just do drugs pretty fun. I spend a lot of time online but I like to read so it's actually kind of nice. I worry about eating my life but then sometimes I think not even rock stars could just skip this much of life...meaning living without interacting with people. If I had millions of dollars I wouldn't want to travel, I'd likely just try to replicate this time again. I'll have to get a job at some point, and then my new goal will be to save money so I can be a shut in again. It's been great

Have you tried /walking/? Just go outside and take a walk. It clears your head and restores your sanity. I like to walk off the beaten paths and at dawn/night so I don't come across other people.

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Learn how to play poker, become a poker master. You dont even have to talk to people

Haven't gone outside since... last year. haha

This is me. Try to look at it like me. People are cursed with interaction. So many wagecucks go to work just to fill the time. My online friend says he wouldn't ever leave the house if he didn't work, and would just be alone in the dark. But why is this bad? Fuck the normies. Tomorrow when you are all alone and everyone is at work, try and think of it as a blessing. That so many people would love to stay home. Learn stuff online, try and further your intelligence in some way. Normal people do not have time to learn anything. Even if it's just learning Japanese from massive manga reading binge. Look up all unfamiliar words. Try and do stuff like this every day and be happy that you will know slightly more than you did yesterday.

I used to be the same. Didn't leave my house for months. That's when I almost went full shizo, started having auditory hallucinations etc. Start with nightwalks

can you greentext your story of how you ended up like this? all long term hikkis i knew irl ended up dead

Sorry for my upbeat positivity I do understand how the stigma is hard. I've just been trying to shake it but I go to a close supermarket at night since I don't live with family.

How/from what?

fat people disease, suicide, or accidents

have parents of neets just totally given up on their kid?

when i lived at home and stayed in too long my parents would flip shit and make me do productive things outside

went to a psych ward at 17. got out and dropped out of hs. never left my room.

Well you're still younger than me so you have a chance :) should I go back to sleep and try meditating first or should I keep lurking and read manga? NEETS DECIDE

3 grams of shrooms should fix up ur shit.

thank me later

Come on OP hi kak give me the benefit of your wisedom no wrong answer

I didn't mean to alienate, I just got excited I obviously don't know any neets or shut ins I don't think, even online. But only like one person knows I am

Trying to OD is very risky, it's very likely that you won't quite get to the lethal dose and so you'll just end up with permanent brain damage or something.

how long do you think it would take people to force themselves in to your place because they are worried about you missing to find you unconscious on the floor? Unless you literally have a Mom checking on you regularly

im not 100% hikineet but if i had it my way id be in my room all day all the time. Except for nightwalks. im on my second year as a NEET. Im already mentally fucked so theres nothing to degenerate into.

Just started school again after years as a shutin. My brain still has not caught up

God I fucking hate this walking meme. What am I supposed to do there? A few minutes in and I'm bored out of my mind. It just makes things worse, at home I can watch something or read at least.

>he has the will to work
isn't that indicative of a fundamentally better mental state and will to live no matter how small?
or is it some guilt/fear complex making you commit to slavery?