At what age did you realize you will never improve, and that you are a fundamentally broken person?
Up until age 23 or so, I thought I just had to find the right method, or the right outlook. Now I realize that I've had plenty of time, I've tried everything, and I've heard everything. My choices are simply to suffer this life in the same way I always have or to kill myself.
Depends what you want to improve in. Natural talent is always a factor (don't say it isn't because I've been bested by a fair share of young genuises despite practicing for hours daily), but the most important thing is finding something you enjoy. I found playing music and drawing to be easy, but I'm bad at programming. Though, every time I learn something new about computers I can't help but get excited, it's like my first actual hobby outside of videogames.
god canaan is so cute
and i consider myself perfect how i am
but i realized i would never function in society as a late teen and fully realized it at 20
Canaan was a pretty solid anime. Her rival was hot as hell.
Or you can follow Jesus
Or will Jesus hate me for being tricked by demons?
it was around my mid-20s. because, to improve, you have to have a certain baseline energy level. you have to have a restlessness, you have to prefer doing something to doing nothing, regardless of what the something is. This is why you'll occasionally see a post from some normie who's become a neet and is bored out of their mind. They have this trait, they get cabin fever. I don't, I realized around 25 that I'm an object that, when in motion, always tends to return to rest.
Not only does this make it incredibly difficult to improve anything since it's all a struggle, from the very first moment of getting out of your chair, but what I realized was that I don't even get any satisfaction from it. At every stage of life people were telling me that the next thing I was going to do would be new and different and exciting and I'd like it a lot better. "Oh, yeah, high school sucks, you'll like college a lot more" "Oh, no, it's really much better when you're out of college and have a job" "yeah, you're just in a rut, you'll feel better if you exercise regularly". Each time I tried one of those things - and evidently they work for normalfags - and each time I've thought "yeah, this is still awful, and for the same reason, because it involves effort, being active, being awake, having to do things by a deadline, etc." The accomplishments didn't really mean anything, it was just that the constant fucking ACTIVITY wore on me. I wanted to stop doing shit and sit down, constantly.
Don't worry, it was just a test (that you failed). Jesus loves you anyways!
I think my guardian angel gave up on me and ran away. I tried talking to her but it just doesn't feel like her anymore.
Fuck that stuck-up bitch! You're a child of GOD. Repent and talk to the Father yourself!
But I want my friend back.
fuck off cosmic bootlicker
I had suspected it for years, but I think I fully processed it at 18 or 19. At that point I had been rejected and discarded (not even talking romantically) because of my own faults countless times, no attempts to better myself or work on my shortcomings every worked. I gave up on everything I ever tried to start, had no talents, no interests, no passions, hate myself beyond my ability to articulate it. Since then I've only gotten worse. More clingy, continued to give up on even those things I managed to stick with for years with nothing to show for it, therapy is useless, and now I'm NEET and in debt from college.
I've improved a ton. I realized the issue when I was 15. I'm 34. Nearly 20 years have passed and I've developed incredible skills... some of which put me at the forefront of maybe the top 100 people in the world in a few niches.
I lack any motivation to derive profit from this however... and honestly if it was as simple as flipping a switch I'd rather just be dead. I've always known life was pointless, and I've given it a chance in nearly every possible way only to find confirmation that not only is it exactly what I expected: it's even worse.
That does not matter though which is one of the most important things I've always known. All our lives will come to an end at some point, at which point we'll be forced to ask "was it worth it?", and only the most deluded of us will be able to say anything other than "not really."
Would the world be exactly the same place it is today if I'd never existed? Not a chance... and possibly in more significant ways than I'm aware of.
Would the world have existed and been essentially indistinguishable nonetheless?
Yes.
Sadly I've never developed any real skill in carpentry that might enable me to craft fine furniture such as chairs.
I found a hobby I can really feel like I'm an expert at, and that I could always improve. I feel like I contribute, even in a small part, to its community.
It might not be the most "respectable" hobby, but it helps me cope with my other failures.
Wanna get good at fighting games, user?
23 is way too young to realize anything. you probably are just lazy. which is fine, you can afford to be lazy because you have a safe, easy life. but you will most likely regret it. the "kill meself XD XD" attention whoring is totally different from the pain you will actually experience if you're like a lot of older guys i know who took it easy.
when i got diagnosed with aspergers
>can type
>probably wasn't capable of typing in english when he was born
>clearly improved his ability to communicate with people
>never improve
realize THIS!
*teleports behind you*
*fucks your boipuccy*
nothin personnel, kid. you'll be a boomer soon who just wanted to fuck around all the time when you had all the tools.
so how did you get diagnosed?
i was thinking of getting it for neetbux
>i was thinking of getting it for neetbux
1 assburger w/cheese + fries + coke = $6.50
Not sure my dude, got diagnosed after 9 years of mental health issues and multiple hospital admissions. I didn't want it to be honest. No idea how to fake it. I am on neetbux now though and it was easy with my documented history.
Based Fighting game player.
I realized it to a certain degree. I know my looks, social skills and motivation to do most things won't ever improve but I've also realized I can improve certain things if I truly enjoy them, like my skill in videogames or model building. Not exactly life changing but they're enjoyable. Beating a game or finishing a model gives me a sense of happiness and accomplishment. I might have faulty pieces in my personality but I'll just work around them. It makes me happy.
same here. Why is this?
I have a good job that could potentially turn into a career, a gf, a social life.
Everyone around me is frustrated at me for not doing anything. I just browse Jow Forums and watch videos everyday, even at work. I do the bare minimum to sustain my current conditions and even then it takes a lot of effort and psyching myself up to go to the bank or make a phone call or anything. Even the spurts of productivity I've had in the past inevitably settled into a void of tedium.
This thread is full of pathetic losers. Just put in effort you cuck
No you Satancuck