/britfeel/

>Crumpets in my toaster
>Bum parked on my sofa
>At one with nature
>Pissing off my neighbours

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Depends how long you can get for larping

first day of many not being neet for me, was alright. shadowing people till I get my laptop and login. Having a comfy smoke and a couple of gins now. what about you?

I do from back when I had my le epic deus vult phase. Bought it but never got round to figuring out how to put it on my wall. Now I'm disillusioned with Christianity and it would be kinda awkward to put it up

>269 calories
that can't be right can it?
breaded chicken and a sesame seed bun, there's no way
how the fuck are fat people so fat

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Christ look at the top right pic, Amir looks like Jimmy Neutron's paki dad

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Saw a girl I once had bum sex with on my dinner hour today. She had yoga pants on. Was nice. Seems to have a new job looking after spazzes though

Remember a couple of years ago when I was still a virgin and I thought my banjo string was too short

called up about an appointment, but bottled it and didn't go. Now, having regular sex and having no problems, fuck if I'm not relieved I didn't

this stopped being funny the 1000th time it was posted lad

fat people will eat both at once as an inter-meal snack

Say what's anal with a girl like? Asking since I'll probably never get to experience it

Also what kind of arse does she have? Big, round and bouncy? Or small and cute? This is important

bit lonely tbqh lads haha

>by mid 20s id say most have shagged in the region of 30-50
you lads have been spending too much time in woman hate/incel threads

Sounds good lad. You get on with your co workers? Only 4 people in my part of the office so its comfy. Just gonna drink a pint of Tesco summer fruits and browse this hell hole

Why do you have to be a Christian to fly the English flag?
Pin it up with a hammer and nails it's not hard
Put it in a window

it's legit piss easy to eat about 1000 calories a day
>sarnie at lunch
>pie for tea

boom food sorted, I'm slowly losing my flab from switching up my diet.

It probably has your yearly intake of fat and salt in it

>Seems to have a new job looking after spazzes though
did you meet her at work?

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It's gonna be embarrassing having to get small condoms if I ever have to, probably not

Me and the gf tried anal. Was such a fucking chore just to get it in, my nob was folding in weird ways and everything even after leaving the lube

can't imagine it would be at all enjoyable for either person to actually go at it in and out. At the end of the day it's literally unnatural

Because it's a cross?

Live in a rented flat so can't do that. Could put it on my window I guess

work in a team of 3 doing admin for the 2 team leaders mate, it's in healthcare so I have seen a couple grim bits but otherwise is proper comfy and the day flys by, nice little introduction to the wagie life. It may be a hell hole but it's our hell hole to browse lol.

Because you eat these as snacks, not for meals.

me too :(
what's your usual distraction?

Howling like a wolf. What a filthy paki.

>first ever offence
>going to prison

literally retarded

what does it feel Iike lad?

Do you know what wall filler is?
You are allowed to hang things in rented flats you big silly. Landlords don't usually mind if you put up shelves or that either
Just fill any holes after you take it down
Fly the flag, lad.

Same, boy I like keeps trying to keep up with his normie friends who are busy every night.

>racially aggravated
you underestimate our legal system, but he's still a larp

what does fat and salt have to do with being fat? the lad's talking about calories

No I don't. I'm educated in this, no one's going to prison for racially aggravated COMMON ASSAULT on a first offence. The legal system doesn't work like that. He will be given a fine and/or community service.

I've never even seen small condoms, my willy's average (6x4.5) so I just get the normal ones and they fit fine. How big is yours?

He asked how the hell are fat people so fat from eating that kinda food

my brother is serving 6 months for racially aggravated flag flying

I do have a union jack up in my (old) bedroom

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You're just a retard who has 0 life experience so eats up every nugget of knowledge from Jow Forums. You're not going to jail over first time assault.
Go ask them what you should say next, lid.

Watched a historical drama film called Alpha at my parents. Was a coming of age story about a stone age kid who befriends a wolf. Had a heartwarming ending which was nice.

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yes and I repeat, what does fat and salt have to do with being fat? he pointed out how few calories that burger had

People go to jail for racially aggravated tweets, a full on assault will definitely be prison

Hey Helper fren how did the move go?

aww sounds very cute lad
good to know that you had a nice time

Nice, but it should be accompanied by a St Johns cross. And they should be in your current residence, preferably somewhere they may be seen from outside

fat and salt make you fat
your body won't burn them off, your BMR drops instead and you get fat

Will buy one soon, it's difficult to have it seen from outside though

You have poor knowledge of how the legal system works.

feasters do that premium burger with the salsa sauce and crispy onions
not as nice as the rustlers gourmet but damn good for the price
as far as microwave burgers go at least, it's all just fast food in your own kitchen

>People go to jail for racially aggravated tweets
Show me the sentences lad, not Jow Forums threads.

If you live in a flat above two stories you can get outdoor ones with wall fixings to hang below your window.
They are a bit pricey, though.
Worth it in my book.

>he thinks dietary fat makes you fat
oh no oh no oh no

salt can cause water retention which would lead to weight gain, but it won't make you store extra fat unless you eat more kilojoules than you burn

The English flag will probably be illegal soon so might as well not bother

when you eat lots of carbs and fat, your body slows metabolic processes down so you burn less calories than you would if you ate the same amount of calories but as protein

No it won't, don't be silly.
More people should fly the St Georges cross to avoid silly notions like this

I don't move until this weekend fren.

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England doesn't really exist any more. It has less meaning than a county.
The country is the United Kingdom.

Kitten on the right is Bobbin

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Just watched this. The comedy in the first half was good and the drama was ok in places but it seemed to meander at the end and there wasnt any actual horror

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England exists
It has as much meaning as you afford it
You should afford it a lot of meaning if you were raised here

>muh metabolism
It's literally just calories in vs calories out

>Start my new job doing something i actually love
>Co-workers invite me out for the first time in years
>They seem to actually like me
>Finally have some money to spend on myself
>Things should be good
>Still feel so alone
>Still feel like i want to die
>Still constantly nervous

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Why do benefit leeches get free accommodation? They should be let to starve on the streets, let's see how quickly they'd find work then

Does it exist? It's not a country. It's a historical boundary that hasn't been enforced since the Act of Union in 1707.

your metabolism isn't a constant, it's always changing
when you're exercising, when you're asleep, when you're stressed out, when you're actively digesting and absorbing food, it's constantly shifting to give you the best performance and the most efficiency
but all of these changes are at best fractions of percentages, not so much that suddenly 1 calorie becomes 2, not even anywhere close

Picture by and of me Shipanon and Bobbin on 10 July 2003 in Banbury, Oxfordshire, England

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It's a country
The best country

little brother dug out my old weed pipe from 6/7 years ago.. having a nice little sesh on it now lads.

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That poor cat never knew what was coming.
My heart bleeds for Bobbin, to have her life snuffed out by that vile monster.
Look at how he holds her, his devilish intent clear in his eyes.

t. seeth seether

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it's a 5 incher

I was sure I had a pic of me as a kid on here but cant find it

>first ever offence
>common assault
>the maximum i can be sentenced is 6 months.
s u s p e n d e d
should have just been a caution tbqh

Careful Shippy, you'll start posting your address soon.

That's just slightly below average then, a normal condom would fit you fine I think

I don't mind HHL, but benefit monkeys do make me seethe ngl. They don't deserve everything you have, lazy cunts

is shippy one of the lads who killed the wee ginger kid

>the oldest known evidence of beer, dating to approximately 13,000 BP, was found at the Raqefet Cave in the Mount Carmel near Haifa in Israel, in which it was used by the semi-nomadic Natufians for ritual feasting.

13 thousand years ago cavelids were getting pissed in this cave waheyy

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>Shippy thinks he can bait me into posting photos of me when I was a child

Nice try you nonce.

>alcohol was invented by proto jews

based Natufians

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shippy must be feeling validated right now

I get so sad looking at pictures of me when I was a kid, I was so cute and happy. No chance of me posting any

absolutely not angry just dissapointed, cheeky bastids lads, not angry just dissapointed.
if something's not said i'll be not angry just dissapointeder
that's all i have to say on the matter

>"I luv mooslims"
get over yourselves, lefty wefty loser wosers

have you used condoms? you big normie!

my uncle racially abused some "asians" and got a 1000bong fine

I wonder what the first ever drunk human did?

probably raped

No, it's just common sense. No one goes to prison for first time common assault, whether it's racially aggravated or not.

That is a guy obsessed with serial killers

Pic related is Jon Venables murderer

L-lads

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Shippy you say? Why yes, he is a paedophilic little freak that fucks underage black sex slaves.

spraying aftershave in my mouth so my breath smells nice

about to do DMT lads
wish me luck

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