/hikikomori/
Are you a shut in?
Come chat.
A shut in is someone who rarely leaves the home or avoids leaving.
They may have social anxiety or mental disorders.
Simply being a NEET does not make you a shut in.
>will you make it
>what age do you think you should just give up
Birthday is soon, so six birthdays inside :)
haven't physically talked to anyone in at least five days. i think i can classified as a Hikkomori. AMA
Tiger parents taught me to wake up early, sit indoors, and read random shit for hours on end, without any human interaction. I hated it, because it went against all natural human instincts, but verbal and psychological abuse did the trick. Now, I can't unlearn this lifestyle, and my parents are too stupid to realize that this is exactly what they trained me to do; to them, I somehow magically went from "gifted-and-talented academic prodigy with a bright future" to "loser who sits inside his room and watches porn 24/7"
The worst part is thatI don't even watch porn; my libido is a rotting husk at this point. I just want to die. My future is gone. I want to die, but I can't because I'm some sort of pseudo-celebrity among my extended family and they don't deserve it.
greentext some of your worst moments, i'm curious as to what tiger parents are like
i can't be a shut in because i'll starve to death, i rarely eat food anyways because i'm too entertained watching youtube or playing vidya
By far the worst part is their narcissism; my parents refuse to apologize for any reason. The sort of people that teach obedience rather than self-discipline. My father would make me massage his back when I was younger, memories which I prefer to keep suppressed. The last time he ever made me do it was when started deliberately twisting the muscles in his back to get a pain response, Swedish style. My mother would bitch at me for not helping her in the kitchen, even when she never told me she was cleaning, and then, when I tried to help her, she'd jsut bitch about how I was doing things wrong until I stopped helping her, then she'd bitch at me for stopping. If I asked her why she did something or wanted something, she'd treat it as if I was implying she was wrong,rather than teach me. Very "don't think, just do." She'd try to manipulate me, and then lash out when I saw though it. Stuff like pretending to give me a choice, and then acting affronted when I called her bluff and chose other than what she wanted and expected, before forcing me to do it anyway. "If you don't get off the computer, you won't get any dinner." That sort of thing.
My father was the physically and verbally abusive one, and he prioritized his career over my well-being, whereas my mother likewise prioritized her marriage and her public image, which lead into her gaslighting me with regards to the severity of my father's abuse. I never spent two years in the same school, up until the last two years of high-school, if that gives you an idea. Yes, that's not hyperbole.
Which of course, leads into: Isolation. My parents kept me on a tight leash, and I never got much of a chance to visit friends. Likewise, they'd bring over their friends to network, and I'd be forced to help them clean the entire house, before being shoved off into my room to stay out of sight. It goes without saying that the guests got to eat better food than I did.
>They may have social anxiety or mental disorders.
No, enough with this psychology/psychiatry pseudoscience cancer
Mental illnesses are common because they have evolutionary origins and they are natural, we should stop labeling them as defects. the human brain is designed to always be slightly on edge and dissatisfied, never 100% content
"Social anxiety" is perfectly healthy. usually there's a good reason you want to avoid humans. If you've had many traumatic cringe experiences, it's a protective mechanism to prevent you from acting stupid again.
I've legitimately developed some sociopathic traits with regards to making friends. I can make friends with basically anyone, and easily stay on everyone's good side, and then, when it comes time to move on, I can forget about them without a second thought or an ounce of regret. I'm the type of person who could ghost an IRL friend after a year of getting to know them. It's something that developed out of necessity, as my family was always moving, my father chased fleeting career opportunities. Eventually, the pain of losing friends became too much, so I learned how to leave it behind.
Needless to say, I avoid making friends nowadays.
>they are natural, we should stop labeling them as defects
People are born with deformed limbs or spines. Those are perfectly natural, they're still defects. If you want to talk evolution, there is nothing worse than an inability to get a mate. That's literally how natural selection works. Don't complain about pseudoscience and then say something as retarded as that.
Can confirm, most "mental illnesses" are simply psychlogical adaptations to traumatizingly abnormal environments, adaptations which likewise appear as abnormal, to everyone who did not have to contend with said environments, and are therefore wrongly assumed to be harmful to the individual who displays them. A prime example of this would be stoicism in males, a reflexive fight-or-flight response to sharp, loud noises in soldiers, and a hyperawareness of the emotional states of others in victims of emotionally unstable abusers.
The guy you're responding to is talking about psychological adaptations to environmental stressors, not innate, genetic psychological mutations. He's talking about the mental equivalent of callouses, muscle growth, and fat deposits, not deformed skeletal systems or malignant tumours.
>I've legitimately developed some sociopathic traits
same here user, I feel less than human.
Yeah, he also said
>enough with this psychology/psychiatry pseudoscience
as if to imply that there isn't any merit to psychology. Interestingly, what he posted is more in life with old school psychiatry, where everything had some root in a past experience and the subconscious and shit. Fact of the matter is, no, not everything is based on traumatic experiences, some people are just born that way for some reason or another. How "brave" or "cowardly" someone is does have an innate, genetic component. I put them in quotes, because depending on the context, brave becomes foolhardy, and cowardly becomes cautious. For example, in Europe and the Americas, foxes always had predators. Bears, wolves, big eagles, and of course, humans. Foxes were under selective pressure to be cautious, because otherwise they would make an easy meal for predators. Meanwhile, in the Falklands island, the Warrah was the largest predator. It had nothing to fear. Since warrahs that were brave had no more risk than cautious warrahs, there was no selective pressure to make them more innately cautious. When humans arrives, warrahs would reportedly walk right up to humans with curiosity. The name "warrah" means "foolish dog" for that very reason. And for that same reason, they went extinct, because it was very easy to hunt them. Similar behavior can be seen in animals that live in close proximity to humans. Coyotes, raccoons, and pigeons that live near humans typically have less predators and more to gain, so they become more placid. Now while selective pressure favor one outcome over others, those other outcomes still happen, which means that inherently cowardly humans are still born.
so yeah im a NEET with psychosis and no friends I rarely go out whenever i do it triggers my psychosis and ive forgotten how to operate
But ive singed up for a couch surfing website as a chance to get out and ive got some good responses of a cute girl and a decent guy in LA
Im sure im going to fuck it up and i have no idea if im gonna pull it off or even be a functioning being
>Fact of the matter is, no, not everything is based on traumatic experiences
Incorrect.
>some people are just born that way
Correct.
>for some reason or another.
The reason is "traumatic experiences which exerted evolutionary pressures on their ancestors".
>For example, in Europe and the Americas, foxes always had predators. Bears, wolves, big eagles, and of course, humans. Foxes were under selective pressure to be cautious, because otherwise they would make an easy meal for predators.
Correct.
>Meanwhile, in the Falklands island, the Warrah was the largest predator. It had nothing to fear. Since warrahs that were brave had no more risk than cautious warrahs, there was no selective pressure to make them more innately cautious. When humans arrives, warrahs would reportedly walk right up to humans with curiosity. The name "warrah" means "foolish dog" for that very reason. And for that same reason, they went extinct, because it was very easy to hunt them.
I reckon if you exposed a warrah to a traumatic experience involving a human, it would become afraid of humans. This psychological adaptation would be regarded as abnormal by the other warrahs, and as a result, it would be isolated, and fail to procreate.
Do you see the problem in your thinking? You're conflating psychological plasticity in individuals with evolutionary psychology of generations. When it comes to an individual any mental abberation that develops is almost always catalyzed by a experience that is far enough outside their everyday experience to force them to adapt. The more stress-inducing the experience, the more the brain prioritizes the adaptation. Even psychological illnesses with strict genetic components, such as Schizophrenia and Alzheimer's disease, vary in the way that they eventually manifest, depending on extant environmental factors, regardless of whether said factors are known. To claim otherwise is to deny causality.
>age 30
>never worked
>gave up on going out for random bullshit at about age 25 (like donating plasma, trying to find friends or on rare occasions werk)
>only leave for appointments to doctor and to shop
Fairly hikki. Welcome to NHK was stupid though.
>traumatic experiences which exerted evolutionary pressures on their ancestors
That's not how evolution works.You can't pass on PTSD. If grug is born brave, but then has half his hunting party devoured by a cave lions and gets PTSD, his sons DON"T get PTSD, they're likely to inherit his original foolhardyness, because that is a genetic component while the cave lion encounter is not. If Grug was born a coward, and ran the moment he heard the cave lion while his companions tried to fight it off, then he's likely to pass on his cowardliness to his sons, irrespective of the fact that the lion kinda validated him. Evolution does not care in the slightest what you do in your life, just that you pass your genes.
>I reckon if you exposed a warrah to a traumatic experience involving a human, it would become afraid of humans.
Yeah, but his children wouldn't inherit that fear.
> This psychological adaptation would be regarded as abnormal by the other warrahs, and as a result, it would be isolated, and fail to procreate.
No, not really, because warrahs don't care about honor or guts, so a cowardly warrah is still just as game as a brave warrah. That only works in humans, because we pick our partners on more criteria.
> When it comes to an individual any mental abberation that develops is almost always catalyzed by a experience that is far enough outside their everyday experience to force them to adapt
You seem to have that belief in the "blank slate" where people are born with no biases in their behaviors and then develop them purely based on their experiences. Life does not work that way. From early infancy you can see that some kids are just more fearless in general, while others are more reserved and cautious. Lots of kids are picked on, and still grow up just fine. Others get ruined by it completely. The difference is that the latter was inherently more sensitive, while the second is inherently more secure.
Reporting the doomer neet hiki fucked guy here
>That's not how evolution works.You can't pass on PTSD. If grug is born brave, but then has half his hunting party devoured by a cave lions and gets PTSD, his sons DON"T get PTSD, they're likely to inherit his original foolhardyness, because that is a genetic component while the cave lion encounter is not.
Wrong. Not all hereditary traits are genetic. If Grug learned to feat cave lions, then when he raises his sons, they will learn by imitating him, and he will discourage foolhardyness, possibly telling them about his hunting party's death. His PTSD will be passed on.
Likewise, if Grug is shouted at by his father when he is young, he will learn that behavior and shout at his own children, unless he gains another father figure later in life to imitate. The abusive tendencies are passed on. Memes are passed on over generations, cross-pollinate, and mutate with each generation, and are therefore exposed to the same evolutionary pressures as every other aspect of an organic system. This forms the foundation for culture. Please try to understand.
>Not all hereditary traits are genetic
Yes they are! That's what hereditary means in evolutionary contexts! Grug can discourage his son, but he will never ever EVER be able to instill in him that gut reaction to cave lions. It's a gut thing, not a logical thing. Instinct is different from learned behaviors. Hell, take any irrational fear. Take me for example:
When I was in middle school, I saw a kid climb a big ass pine tree on a dare. He made it about halfway up, when the bark stipped or something, and he came plummeting down. He got hurt pretty bad, and had to be taken to the hospital. Now months later, the guy saw me hanging out alone, and asked me if I wanted to hang out. i had no friends, so I said sure. We walked home together, because we lived in the same area. At one point, he said he knew a shortcut, and that it involved jumping over a fence into an alleyway. The fence was about 2 meters high, but we both climbed it easily. Once over the top, he easily jumped off. But I, I was frozen in fear. Heights terrify me. I sat on the top, and slowly eased myself down, so that it was even less than 2 meters from my feet to the ground, but it still scared me stiff. I have never ever had any big fall, but there I was, paralyzed by a simple jump that my friend did without a second thought. He, who had fallen and broken his wrist breaking his fall, had absolutely no fear. My fear was not the result of any traumatic experience, or anything logical, it was just the innate instinctive caution near heights that all animals have, but turned up to an unhealthy degree. That's what social anxiety is. Humans evolved to live in groups. But members of the group that caused too much trouble were cast out to fend for themselves, or denied a mate. So the ones that had a shame function had a better chance of staying in the tribe, and therefore survive to pass on their genes. Social Anxiety is likely that same shame function, but turned up to an unhealthy degree.
After all, a traumatic experience needs some sort of core backing to happen. The only reason encountering a cave lion is traumatic is because we inherently fear pain and death. Without that shame function, that tells us "don't piss them off or you'' be cast out and die!", nobody would have any fear of rejection. Apes also have a sort of consideration for each other, because they are also a group animal. Wolves also prostrate to each other, as a form of submission, after angering a fellow pack member, because they too, need the group to survive. Meanwhile, social but not group animals, and solitary animals don't have that same fear of rejection. Like, shrews aren't scared of approaching a lady shrew or getting rejected, and they don't cower at the mere sight of a fellow shrew.
going to start taking up internet classes so I can get my high school diploma.
>have to see psychologist for physical health issues
>screw up
>tell them I'm practically a shut in
>highly suggested I should be put in a psychiatry
>oh no
>family talk to them
>family hear this
>they keep saying it's a good idea and talking to the doctors and psychologists behind my back
>probably about that
what do
also if i go even for a day stay they'll see self harm and keep me as a danger to myself
>going to a psychologist for physical health issues
?
ikr
recommended by the doctor since I was missing class and work before I graduated
also the doctor always is slow to see so they have them as a person to request medicine adjustments without seeing the doctor
Not a shut in or neet but have a close childhood friend who is. I haven't seen him for a year and from what I've heard from his family he's gotten pretty bad mentally and doesn't want people to see him. It was his birthday recently and I want to reach out and say hi/happy birthday but I'm not sure if he'd like this. Sometimes I think he'd appreciate it if someone reached out just to know theres some that still care. Should I bother or just leave him be?
Are you an evolutionary psychologist?
I imagine the tendency to be susceptible to PTSD is inheritable though
fuck being this way fuck it
The only time I leave the house is to get money from the bank or to visit gran/grandad. No work, no socializing, nothing else.