Robot feels thread

thanks but i dream rarely enough as it is, i will take a read tho it seems pretty cool

and about the waifu tier women yeah reality isnt like the dream world you want it to be but you just have to make the most out of your shitty situation.

while good women are rare ill keep trying to get one, after my first long term relationship i discovered how much of an impact you can have on a person and how much you can change them, and yourself to make each other more suited to one another. initially things will be tough so you have to put effort in but after some time just chillin with the woman will become easy and satisfying.
im rambling on a bit here but the

tldr--while perfect women are rare, perfection can be created between two peope. --see men who date severely obese women and still love em.

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Yeah, I know it's technically 'bout making the most of it. At the same time, I don't even know if it's worthwhile. I mean, I've also had a relationship of sorts, for quite a while, and it was great. But now that I think about it, in spite of how good it was, I don't think I'd even want to relive that again. At the time, it was incredibly comfy, and it really was fun - quite similar to how you describe it. But, in spite of that, there's this really abstract feel that I can't begin to fathom a way of conceptualizing.

Sort of how the things that used to bring you joy don't really do so anymore. I guess I'll just focus on self-improving and on doing my own thing, since I've already had what I wanted to experience. Or, maybe I didn't and I just don't want to be let down in my expectations again, so I don't want to risk it.

But, I wish you luck my friend. May you find a gf that will bring you happiness in this life.

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thanks user, really giving the motivation here. i hope your self improvement goes well.

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No problem, friend, and thank you too. I really hope it does. We may not get what we might want from life, but we'll all end up where we needed to be.

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oh shit this is gonna be a long one

Lately i do feel kinda 'baselined', always the same, which is kinda a blessing considering that i not long ago i woke up every day with a different mood. Now i'm probably just more relaxed bc summer holidays and i'm pretty much sober except for caffeine.

I do have bursts of crippling loneliness that make me just want to have a girl next to me who i can hug and give light kisses and show affection. I don't want sex or anything (mostly bc i got utterly afraid of it after my last relationship when i was 14), just being able to show and receive affection. I don't think i'll be able to love tho or at least feel something with that intensity, all my feelings are oriented on some kind of baseline. I can smile or be happy or sad but it's all just dull and feels superficial. The only really deep feeling i have is this crippling feeling of emptiness and apathy.

My mother got operated on the back, causing her to stay home for the whole holidays, which i first was utterly afraid of bc she's kinda emotionally abusive and neglecting but it appeared to be not that bad bc she's more relaxed than normally, but not too long ago she showed some of her "old" behavior, so i guess it was only temporary bliss.
She also stressed me out quite a lot bc i only have a year of school left and already need to decide what i want to do but i obviously can't. I have no talents or anything i'm exceptionally skilled at, was told from early age that i'm "smart", resulting in me being a perfectionist who can't fucking learn anything new that will make me experience failures. (1/2)

I also didn't really think i make it this far, have been thinking about suicide for 2 years now, which may not seem much, but those were the longest years of my current life. Everyone around me appears to be grown up now and i'm still here, wanting to go back to being 13 when everything was easier, i didn't give a fuck and smoking weed was a huge and exciting event. I also didn't have that much pressure back then and although i (in retrospect realized) was kinda a background friend, i had people i hung out with, even if it was just during school time. I did play a lot of Minecraft with some of those people and i would even go as far as saying that those people were my friends. Maybe not the ideal friends, but better than now (social anxiety, 1 or 2 close friends but nobody to do exciting stuff with me like going to a festival which i always wanted to do but i'm afraid that they will connect with other people and leave me behind/alone and of course, it's too expensive for them).

So i kinda lack the social skills to approach people, form a relationship or even friendships + i'm not the most interesting person. My only interest that i feel like talking with people about is drugs. Maybe not even that bc the usual smalltalk bores me so much i intentionally create that awkward silence so that people either talk about interesting or important things with me or leave me alone. Even if i wanna talk to people sometimes, the conversations die pretty quickly (and yeah i watched a lot of those "how to keep a convo going" videos but i fail to apply this to rl).

Just the basic shit that's been going on for quite some time now and i honestly feel like i exaggerated quite a lot and in reality it's not THAT bad. (2/2, ok not as long as i thought)

I'm tired of having stuttering, this shit is so frustrating and uncomfortable

I used to be angry that I never had sex.

Now I get angry that I've never experienced love.
I see it everywhere, and yet I can't even dream about what it could feel like. I may never feel it.

I've tried, but I've only ever been rejected. No woman has ever come up to me and talked about wanting me.

wow user...i ... really relate to some of the points you mentioned, i too have a year of school left and my mother who is also kinda abusive always wants to know what i intend to do in my future.

truth be told i only have a vague idea and the one i do i dont want to fully admit to tell her.

i wan to become an artfag and have a career as either a self employed artist or someone who does game art/concept --ideally for riot games since i am a massive league fan(however i heard they are very hard to get into) my main saddness is i hate the judgment in the way that others will see my dreams as not a real career and my laziness and procrastination means i dont actually practice drawing anymore, which always haunts me. i want to be able ot fully dedicate myself to my career and do it at my own pace but in the confines of my mothers home and my school it is harder than it should be.

i want to go to uni but im not sure if thats even possible as im not exactly the smartest person

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I was in work while exhentai went down and didn't get to save my favourites, a few of which I couldn't find elsewhere, fuck being a wagie so much. At least I can say I learned my lesson, hoard as much porn as I can, like I already do with anime & manga...

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desu i think i should skip uni and just get a stable job at a hotel or bank or something office related to live on. then once i move out and are stable i can further my actual craft.

i dont do drugs like you but i do love my booze hehelets hope life aint too hard on us pal

as in while speaking? yah i could see that being an issue. i hope you dont let rage consume you over it since that would only make it worse.

i had sex once when i was 15 , i cannot say i remember much or if it felt good, i wasnt the best equipped person but it was more for "Her benefit" than mine. she left me one year later and now its been some years so ive let her go.

still feels wierd to call myself not a virgin as im awkward with sexual advances and never feel like i know what im doing. couple that with the fact that im paranoid about my preformance and i will break down over that fact that i couldnt make a women orgasm using myself. and about your rejections, it just happens youll get rejected by alot of people but look for the more obscure ones since they could hold potential gold. ive had two friends confess they liked me but they thought i had "friendzoned" them. so it can happen. good luck user and i hope you find the right one

i dont get hoarding porn as i never feel attached to it but shouldnt it still be on the net? i mean its the net right nothing only exists on only a single site right.????

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>at doctors for anxiety, depression and sleep disorder
>"do you have any friends?"
>no
>"what about your gf?"
>dont have one
>"ever had one?"
>no
>"why not? Ever been in love?"
>had crushes in middle school
>"and what did you do about it?"
>embarrased myself the first few times then gave up
Thank god i wasn't asked how i spilled my spaghetti.
Having to sit there and admit how much of a loser i am stings. Saying it out loud to someone right infront of me, with a face and near constant eye contact with me was rough.
Atleast she was pretty stoked about me having a job i dont hate, is young and indirectly said i'm pretty normal looking. Guess way worse patients pass trough the office.

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we all have our troubles user, dont worry your never a TOTAL MESS just remember that there are good times ahead

Tfw no internet discord g.f or even gf (male) why is it so hard bros why must i have shitty genetics

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Yeah, feel hope for the first time in years.
Excited about my next session but i cant say i'm looking forward to talking about i'm incapable of talking to girls outside a proffessional setting. Digging up the thoughts that stop me from dating face to face with someone who will actually listen and accept thats a fact of life for me. Treating that with exposure is going to be hard.
But atleast i dodged the draft.

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>tfw want to quit alcohol but can't

bipolar disorder. currently awaiting diagnosis of personality disorder or several. acute manic episodes and depression.

why does every slut online think she's bipolar? they can trade places with me anyday. eating super noodles again and thinking about killing myself with the fork

sorry anons missed the mental health thread as i was busy spooning chicken noodles into my gob.

can't apologize enough for this transgression

I ruined a story I've had since my childhood by having the main character die then be resurrected in my imagination. And I can't retcon it or redo it or anything. Ever since that it's felt different and I basically stopped imagined the story altogether because I no longer could take it seriously. It was kino and the last thing I had left from my childhood. There are so many conflicting desires itd take forever to explain it all. But it was something that gave my life meaning despite me being a pathetic neet / wagecuck and now it is irreversibly ruined and there really isn't much else anymore.

Start a new job on Monday, trying to save up to eventually become a dentist. Just hope I am not too retarded when it comes to the school part.

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>tfw no tiny modernized cabin to live in, just outside a small town, bumping thru now and then to buy snacks and soda, beer and toiletries now and again, saying hi and how-do's to pleasant, simple folk who know your face and expect you every so often, but never try to get into a long conversation
>tfw no qt over-30 cashier who's as antisocial as you are and just gives you a smile and a nod, rings you up and sends you on your way as the first tiny raindrop hits your shoulder as you reach your cozy little hut's door, step inside and unbag your week's rain-drizzled groceries just as it starts to fall in earnest
>tfw no gentle beats to put on low volume as you settle in, turn down the lights and turn on the tv and some vidya, laptop at the ready for a cozy night in with your robros on Jow Forums, cracking open the first arizona for the evening and loading up your save, bliss

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its fine dw bro

feels bad man

thats really hard. big respec if you make it user

FUCK YOU I WANT THIS TOO AWWW DAMN BRO WHY MUST I LIVE LIKE THIS

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I hate myself so much. Being around people makes me feel fucking awful. I went to an AA meeting and I couldn't stop thinking about how much of a disgusting piece of shit I am who doesn't belong there. I don't belong anywhere. I'm pretty sure they dislike me too, everyone always ends up disliking me anyway.

I keep thinking about my ex who I wronged badly. I keep having dreams where we speak openly about how I mistreated her, sometimes she is being angry and sometimes she is being forgiving. In other dreams I am around her but I say nothing and only talk to her friends. I had a pretty intense dream last night where she was completely forgiving of me and thanked me for having the balls to apologise and own up. I'm feeling pretty bad today because of that dream. Sometimes I can forget about my guilt and living feels okay, but that dream I had today brought up all of that shit again and I feel like ending my life. I'll probably never commit suicide though.

I just wish things were simple, I hate the way I feel all the time

them dreams sound like oneitis to me bro...oof

I DON'T WANT TO BE CIRCUMCISED
youtube.com/watch?v=IXm4ZmCQQas

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why are you ?

????????????plox explain

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Eh not really. She will always be special to me but at the same time I have no desire to get back together with her. I like her but I know we are not compatible. I'm a fucking mess anyway, a relationship is the last thing on my mind.

In my dream, I think she just represents feelings of guilt in general

thats some silent hill shit muh nigga

its just simple dream analysis friend. its hard to do but sometimes you can learn some important things about yourself

>actually ended up lucid once after a really weird and vivid dream
>ended up shooting into the air and having a cringy anime battle with two giants who i vaporized with beams from my hands
>crash landed at this weird carnival and started beginning to fuck this latina qt
>dog woke me up as we were undressing
i really want to achieve this again, i've never been able to actually use sense of touch/feeling in a dream but it was fucking amazing. getting there almost took my life over though, i don't know if i can again.