Who else /outcast\
I'm in college and slowly realizing how alone I have always been in life
I relate to no one on a normal human level
My sense of humor and taste are so fucked and twisted to the point nobody wants to be around me
I don't even feel like a fucking human being
This is me, 19yo in college and everything.
I don't fit into a single category of people but am rather a blend - that is, I get along enough with the frat kids and the nerds and the emos. I don't have any genuine friends and am invisible to girls. Sometimes I feel like I wasn't made for this world altogether
Pic rel is the closest an image came to describing the person I am
Jesus. Besides a couple things, that is way too accurate. it's concerning
I wish I had friends like you, man. Nothing in society really makes sense to me anymore. Being alone, whether it's traveling or being out in nature, satisfies me much more than being thrown into yet another setting in which I feel completely out of place.
I'm exhausted and only want to feel like I have a purpose
I have been in College for 3 years and I never spoke to anyone but my roommates. All I would ever say to my roommates was "is it alright if I turn off the light?" Normally i'd just sleep in the dorm basement. I have never had a girlfriend and never had a friend irl.
Ha, thing is I don't have any friends. That love was something I kissed goodbye long ago
Yeah I know that feel. Its a very upsetting thing to not really fit in anywhere. The emotional weight of being truly alone is horrifying. For the last couple of years I have had these visions of myself rotting away in my room for eternity, just losing my mind because this is not how a person is designed to live. It takes a huge toll on you. The vast majority of people cannot survive being this alone.
That is me to a T except for the
>no friends anymore
because I never had them to begin with and i'm agnostic.
If you two are into music at all, this album is all I've been listening to lately. I hope it suits you well, Lester Bangs said it finds ground with those who are living their worst periods
youtube.com
I never was able to connect to anyone in my 28 years of living. I always thought but was because I was weird, but the reality is I am completely apathetic to every facet of life. If I can't even find one thing I like or cherish in this world, how could I even connect with someone? It sucks. I can't even relate to robots anymore, because I realized I don't even want sex or a gf anymore. But that might be more mental fatigue and insecurities.
Thanks, it's great. I have some playlists on youtube. One is for a comfy image/music archive I moderate youtube.com
Then also check out the band
>Hard Christ
If you like garage rock. It's a Jow Forums group that is very similar to negative xp
I sent the playlist wrong, here youtube.com
Also for the archive/server b6qeR5
I hate feeling like i'm shilling but it's actually good. No vc, no drama, and not much conversation. It's just robots dumping comfy stuff
I'm replying too much but another great (but outdated playlist to check out is the comfy beta archive
same but I don't feel bad about it, that way I don't have to spend time socializing or attending parties, hmu, I look like someone that you'd expect browsing r9k
I'm in my 4th year of a PhD, and the other people in my department who study what I'm studying made a research group without me and wrote a book chapter together. My only friends in the department are some really sweet old ladies, which is fine by me. I just don't expect any help from most of my peers.
Fuck that, group work is for literal cattle. Smart people dont need others, they vision the end product from the start and by that vision knows every right step to take to reach it. Working with normies in college was the most frustrating task I ever dealt with. 85 percent of the work was not work, but talking about how we would approach the work. Endless, perpetuative, pedantic bullshit, just like most modern jobs today, where people hold meetings over what meeting they should hold next. Being somewhat intelligent and whatever the fuck is "wrong" with people like us is a curse because modern life is always reduces into "TEaMplaY xDD" continously obstructing those who see clearly by the density of normies newthink. FUCK. Old ladies are based too.
Our research writing class that we teach as TAs is centered around group work. Students hated it; never doing that shit again.
I somehow come to realize that maybe there really is just a category of people i happen to have been born into instead of being just a random mishmash of little fuckups.
This is way to accurate
>make new friends after moving during highschool
>friends with some stoners, and some nerds
>be emoish kid
>move from smallish town to big city for uni
>drift apart from all my friends eventually
>know about 2 people in my city, don't really talk to them, see one occasionally
>absolute loner at uni, don't talk to anyone but one girl
>have really weird taste in music and how i dress etc
>think im doomed to be alone
>meet weird girl in march that has similar interests
>been together since
we're all gonna make it bros
I don't know, man, all the light in my life is gone. I'm happy for you and wish you the best nonetheless.
Kind of. It is a conscious choice on my part though since I don't want to have friends or loved ones that can cut into my alone time. I cherish the many hours that I spent by myself. I probably developed this trait as some kind of coping mechanism that prevents me from actually feeling lonely but hey, it works.
Most Jow Forums users would have been monks, priest or work in some sort of spiritual institution in past ages, this is excluding all the redditors and normies who like to lurk and post their stupid shit.
I feel so horrible for you dude. I`m sitting here feeling genuinely sad over this. I know asking to improve yourself might actually be impossible. Changing your own behaviour is very difficult. The best thing you can do is change your outlook and your environment. By that I mean you need to accept that sometimes in life your going to have periods of loneliness and deep sadness. But things will get better! I promise as much, just learn to accept that people want to know you and accept you. It`s just all about being around people. I was abused as a kid. It led me to be deeply socially anxious and isolated. I hung around those like me long enough and learned to be confident in my own way. I practised my confidence with them and eventually I got super lucky; I got attention from a girl. It made me feel accepted for who I am and learn that women are just like me in many ways. If I can recover socially, so can you! I`m rooting for you.
I feel like I would have merely isolated myself in some craft. Sometimes I wonder just where I could be if I blocked everything out and did my own thing
>I feel like I would have merely isolated myself in some craft
that's essentially what monasteries were for