Any other paranoid schizophrenics on Jow Forums?

OP here. I'm scared of violent schizos and psychopaths. Basically anyone that wants to hurt me

schizos are mostly harmless and you shouldn't place them in the same category as psychopaths u jerk

Nice try, schizo.

Attached: 1566944897626.png (1540x1118, 106K)

I am basically okay. I lead a simple life doing chores and playing classic wow. Having a weak chin is a far greater curse than schizophrenia.

Can I ever win over the eyes once and for all?

>Having a weak chin is a far greater curse than schizophrenia
I don't disagree, specially since having schizo makes me not care about relationships

>anyone that wants to hurt me
well what did you do anony?

idk but i feel incredibly guilty all the time and don't remember why. Maybe i was a serial killer in a past life

I dont know much more. The eye is a dick that observes people on the edge. It is drawn to people who are suffering because it wants to see you do something crazy for entertainment I suppose. Now I call it the evil eye but there are actually more than one person who are the evil eye.

Yes, by doing what I mentioned. They operate under the assumption that you aren't aware of them. The actual watchers are far away but they're still linked to those remotely controlled eyes.
Pursue and try to get to the spider at the end of the web, make known your desire to destroy them and they will be horrified, not showing up again.

I've been diagnosed with schizophrenia recently. Existing is kind of rough at the moment. My shrink says things will get better but I'm not sure I really believe him.

sometimes i think that my friends all secretly hate me. does that count?

Schizophrenia does not exist.

By pIaying video games

I didnt read the thread topic before posting and i thought it was a general question

Would you care to explain why you think that user?

Schizophrenia is one of the few non meme mental illnesses, my condolences.

Schizophrenia is created to keep undesirables outcast. Look at sluggish schizophrenia in the USSR, literally created for undesirables. The same is true for today's schizophrenia. Any intelligent individual diagnosed with schizophrenia is undesirable.

Constantly afraid of having my food poisoned because I still live with my family. Can't use the fridge, can't leave my food alone anywhere, ... I went too many days being hungry because of that.

its a lie, it never gets better. i just exist in isolation until its too much to handle one day

Attached: 154415535231.png (629x629, 1.05M)

That's basically what I'm assuming. With this diagnosis my best chances appear to be me becoming homeless or killing myself.

Basically, whenever I become paranoid, I just tell myself "it probably isn't a conspiracy".

I know you're all in on it. Don't play games with me you faggots.

As an actual schizoid lemme give you actual advice. Try meditation, let your mind wander. See for yourself how fragmented your thoughts are, from the sounds and yelling outside your head, to the anxiety and intrusive thoughts you make in your conscience. Just get a feel for your actual self, and realize you are alone.. And safe. From then on Be Yourself. :bee::-)

I'm not even Muslim but last time I saw a psychic they said I had a jinn possession and did a cleansing. I'd like to think it was phony bullshit but before they did the cleansing the guys dog was trying to attack me and was really aggressive and straight after they did a cleansing the dog was friendly and wanting me to pat it.

I sit on the computer 15hrs a day n sometimes do drugs with friends/ smoke alot of weed at home bur i dont rlly like drugs anymore just dissociate and sit on le pc and pray for terminal illness

>As an actual schizoid
If you were actually diagnosed, you'd know there's a difference between schizophrenic and schizoid
Fucking zoomers on this board self diagnosing

>someone rings my doorbell, once
>not going to open it because I'm not expecting anyone
>peek through the balcony window to see who rang the doorbell but no one leaves the building lobby or they already left
>too afraid to leave my apartment and I was supposed to go buy food
>hungry and there is nothing to eat but oatmeal and beer

how do I know if I'm schizo? how does it usually start?

Sure is people affirming their own delusions in here.

depends
when I don't have an episode I feel kinda okay
I haven't had an episode in 4 months so it's bound to start soon and they last about the same as me being normal
during an episode I get hallucinations, delusions, usually I just stay home and locked in my room

Attached: vugUrrLfjxE.jpg (552x549, 61K)

You're fucking stupid, if it isn't real, then explain what illness gives my brother delusions (that go away with antipsychotics) that he can hack into satellites with his brain? Fucking idiot.

If you're questioning whether or not you are or could be you're probably not. People with schizophrenia almost always refuse to accept they have schizophrenia.

How do you guys deal with living? Do you have any friends? How are family interactions? How do you work?

Its kinda okay I guess, I dont how it is to not be this way so its okay
I have friends, they help get home if I get delusional and/or have hallucinations
my family is mostly okay, my mom thinks I can be normal and makes me forcefully go out for walks
I dont work

Attached: gFMZjiIqEuQ.jpg (654x643, 67K)

Well yeah but if I am trying to deduce wether my ideas of me being the messiah are either delusions or reality then that only creates a bigger paradox for me

Schizo here.
Just spent a bunch of last night looking at my parental haplogroup from my 23&me and compared it to the Table of Nations from the Bible according to this paper:
aschmann.net/BibleChronology/Genesis10.pdf

Apparently I'm descended from Lud, son of Shem.

Since I'm on antipsychotics, I'm not quite as susceptible to believing everything on the internet, but it's fun to fantasize. I was looking at Bible verses about Lud and his descendants too. All confusing and I'm not sure how God feels about us. Outdated by now I bet.

do either of you take medication? is it possible to just not take medication and exist with schizophrenia in isolation?

>he gave his DNA to google

Attached: 1563319051378.jpg (231x218, 7K)

don't schizoids have coherent thoughts though? like the capacity to not only observe thoughts but also recognize them as fragmented seems beyond the capacity of an actual schizophrenic person

schizoid =/= schizophrenia you dr. google self-diagnosing fuck

why do you smoke weed if you have paranoid schizophrenia? that just sounds uncomfortable.

I'm unmedicated schizo. I've tried it before... It was hell. Might have well just gone under entirely. Like my brain just shut itself off. It's hell I don't want to experience

Attached: 5688j885gs5jm.jpg (500x888, 195K)

>the guys dog was trying to attack me and was really aggressive
>after they did a cleansing the dog was friendly and wanting me to pat it
How fucking stupid can you be? Do you really not realize that they train the dog to do that, so you believe their bullshit? Seriously, how can you be this fucking dumb?

Dated a schizo that didn't take meds. Honestly it wasn't easy as i'm paranoid myself (not schizo, just raised in a "you over the others, everyone will hurt you" environment).

She hates my guts now because after months of her abusing me and controlling me, i told her to fucking die and kicked her out. She's now living with her new gf miles and miles away, and keep posting poems about me (both saying she misses me and saying she fucking hates me)

What are the chances she'll move a finger to hurt me in the future?

When I was 18 i was admitted to the psyche ward because I was having severe paranoia and hallucinating and shit. My delusions caused me to do something illegal related to the paranoia so into the ward i went.
My doctor was very concerned for my mental state and suggested that it could be early onset schizophrenia. After a few days he talked with me and my mom and decided Not to diagnose me with schizophrenia, because of the "stigma" but instead schizotypal personality disorder. I dont know the difference between the two but I sometimes feel like a fullblown schizophrenic. Im having auditory hallucinations again and extremely paranoid and delusional. I really wish that he would have just given me the schizophrenia diagnosis but it wouldnt have made a difference because the treatment plan is the same as having schizotypal.
But still, i dont know the difference between the two diagnosis'.

as far as how i exist...very painfully. Im trapped in this mind and there is no escape, except for alcohol to forget about it. But soon i wont be able to drink, and im taking the medications but sometimes i think they are completely useless. Despite trying to believe they work.

>post in thread
>it dies

Every single time

Yeah, except I have schizoid tendencies and behavior. I didn't diagnose myself, I went to be tested by teams of doctors and a ton of psychiatrists. They told me I was this, even gave me a catscan to prove it to me with the label. You can eat my ass and go back to work, Mr.Wagie wagie. Your pagie is waving!!

i personally dont, and to answer your question you can but its very difficult. its better than being around family that hates you at least

Attached: 93276f94fa76ab69004569a00a59b884.png (700x800, 518K)

It depends how far you are gone(seeing hallicinations, hearing loud voices, psychotic delusions). at my worst delusions I saved myself by freestyling to make the things scaring me feel fake and in my convulsion of thoughts. It really helped me and has become one of my favorite ways to get over my made up theories when I'm paranoid. After a while of rapping my fresh lyrics came in familiar voices in my head. Like my old consciousness. I sometimes feel like I can escape this hell, but the damage has been done. I can only try to soothe the pain, by forcing myself to piece the fragments together.

same user. Putting together a series of audible words really takes the mind off of the constant and chaotic noise in the mind. I just generally think outloud, but sometimes a rhyme gets me thinking more clearly. Like you're getting all your internal thoughts out in the open to clear the space.
>glad im not the only one that does this lol

Diagnosed para schizo here. It's not that bad. My voices compliment me and I have an IQ of 121, last tested. So I got a good job and have had sex with someone I loved.

The psychotic episodes I've had are very cringy, shameful and embarrassing.

No, I don't take my meds because I simply don't need them.

Definitely don't stop, in the beginning i only rhymed outside of my head because of paranoia on how i would think/afraid to think for a dumb reasons/delusions like I'm not meant to do this. In the past I used to be really grandiose about how I thank before really slipping into insanity. There is some truth to it though, because when I started to be desperate and made my thoughts rhyme I started to even impress myself on how I can go rapping for 5+ minutes straight without being caught in my head with obsessive thinking/breaking my flow. I think schizophrenics are awesome people because of how creative they can be. I'm only really saying this too, because I like being creative instead of hopeless and you show me that there's a future instead of people complaining. Become the next rap god, user!

I distract myself with everything I can, instruments, listening to music, drawing, animating, programing, robotics, learning languages, Jow Forums, facebook, literally anything I can get my hands on for cheap I will do.
music + one of the above works best, though its hard to play music while listening to it too, same with languages.
Also my pills help but I dont feel like they help enough, then again, I have normalized a lot this past week since starting them up again.

You know its sad but I am a very self sabotaging person. Its not intentional but it happens all the time. I recently came to the conclusion that because I am mentally ill, all my decisions ive ever made are affected by that illness. So ive come to accept that anything i do is related to some kind of delusional thinking, so even if i Wanted to be a rap god it would be too much to aspire to, and I know that striving to be the best at something is, because of how mentally ill i am, delusional in fact.

how fucked up is that? No amount of therapy or pills can break that rationale. Im stuck.

I've been diagnosed with BPD but imo my symptoms don't really fit. I feel paranoia but I don't try to manipulate people. I don't have most of the symptoms of schizophrenia though, aside from delusions.

I do experience minor auditory distortions but that's probably because of my tinnitus, not anything else.

I'm feeling very lost right now because it's impossible for me to make friends or keep friends. I hate everyone I meet. Every interaction I have with people seems negative. I believe everyone hates me, everyone is stupid, everyone is targeting me. I know that logically this is probably not the case but I'm so beaten down with how cruel everyone seems, and I easily snap at others over the dumbest shit. I need help bros. :(

Sociopathic perhaps ?

I care about other people. I want them to like me. And I don't want to hurt anyone; I feel deep regret after my angry outbursts and wonder why I acted that way.

To me that sounds like your resolve. Music comes from any art form, im the end we are only cavemen people making sounds for others to enjoy. I bring my delusions anything keeping me out from shouting my "soul"/heart. You could definitely make a wide variety of songs just on the fact alone you have intrusive thoughts, mixed answers in your psyche. Become expressive, maybe you'll let out some trauma fucking you up? I only say that because I have shit ton of abuse and trauma, that are only resurfacing now because im desperately trying to save my consciousness with my memories intact. Rapping definitely make you spit all your nonsense in the open. Think of it as a therapy first, before making songs for the masses about how you can outrap their mother and father.

>Not sure if you believe him

Slippery slope not believing people skitzo user. Believe me. One second you're doubting doctors, next you think theres people knocking on your Windows.

Another good thing I need to get my ass doing is writing on a journal about your thoughts, freestyle bars. Just go the whole mile. Imo it is really fun and worth exploring.

It happens automatically, we dont have to 'deal' with anything. It's on autopilot!

Attached: Screenshot_20190829-115044_Drive.jpg (1560x720, 577K)

>Being afraid of a woman

If she's legit crazy than your chances are higher than any other broad. Learn how to punch.

Oh yeah, I do make up songs and sing them to myself. it IS very therapeutic. I really am a creative person, and if I did have something to aspire to it would be music, but unless i find myself a musician to make my music come to life, its just a worthless endeavor.

dont know man, maybe you should get another evaluation. I feel the same way too.

That's true, but after becoming diagnosed and being really depressed that it's all over. I became more inlove with music, when before it would speak to me in voices. Now it is my muse, i love hearing sounds and rapping back to make melodies. Idk, you are right in the way where I would want a musician to become well known/spread good music. Imo i want my vision of my song and sounds, maybe i should produce.. Idk though I'm just a crazy guy who is leveling up my rap skill like the sims.

My mother has schizophrenia, I'm just on that spectrum, thank God I don't have full blown paranoid schizophrenia. Though I do show some negative symptoms (affective and communicative deficits, alogia, etc.)

It's basically all the negative symptoms that make me a robot. (Thanks mom.)

There's a lot of misconceptions about schizophrenia in the mainstream understanding of it, my mother is fairly normal (if somewhat dull and asocial) if she isn't having a psychotic episode.

Only during psychotic episodes does she start hallucinating voices and experiencing paranoid delusions like the neighbours are listening, people are after her etc.
She had to be hospitalized in a closed psychiatric institution twice in my lifetime.

I hope I dont ever develop full blown paranoid schizophrenia though I am not behaving like I'm avoiding it cause I engage in quite extensive poly-drug usage

Any experience with negative symptoms? How do you manage to do stuff with the anhedonia and avolition?

Attached: 1566572014720.png (424x725, 123K)

do you ever dream of songs and then make songs out of them when you wake up? Thats my favorite thing. Doesnt happen all the time, but i just love sound, it makes for a good dream too.

No, that sounds really nice. I'm still paranoid when I get up, because I try to get in sound away from general shizo thinking. I'll try that tomorrow, just roll in my sleep with my 100th dream with my oneitis.