Childhood Abuse

Dad kicked and hit me quite often as a kid, believed really heavily in corporal punishment (or at least used it as an excuse to let off his anger) at one point he actually broke my leg and fucked up my knee, it still hurts daily somehow - at 21 years old - and lately it's been getting worse. Other than that I don't think I've suffered any long term detriments from the abuse. I'm less trusting than the average person but I see that as a blessing and a curse.

We had a family pet, a dog that my dad really liked. When I was 13 I learned that dogs were allergic to chocolate and I basically force fed the thing chocolate muffins for dinner. A few days into doing this the dog started having seizures and shit. Dad took him to the vet, dropped thousands of dollars, eventually had to put the dog down because he had severe nerve damage. After this all went down my dad was just depressed all the time, the beatings got fewer and farther between and eventually stopped. He was a single parent and he hated his only child (me) so that dog was really all he had.

Looking back I feel bad for what I did to the dog, but at the time it seemed like a genius plan that actually worked out for me. The only mental turmoil I have from those years of my life is what I did to that poor fucking dog. I don't care about my dad or how he beat me, he deserved to lose the dog but I should have just took him to a shelter and act like he ran away or something. Idk, kids are fucking stupid and I was no different.

Yes. I may possibly have had the worst childhood out of anyone on Jow Forums.

>parents died
>mixed race
>cripple
>sexually abused
>physically abused
>emotionally abused
>product of divorce
>psychologically abused
>pit against cousins and siblings by abuser
>cousins and siblings abused me as a result
>watched one cousin be tortured
>forced to participate in torture of sibling
>roastie sister and chad cousin who teamed up on me; fucked each other
>roastie sister had a makeshift abortion
>bullied at school because mixed race, cripple, shy
>bullied by a teacher
>codependent relationship with abuser
>hated by only surviving family for "being on the abuser's side"
>abuser is currently dying and I'm taking care of them right now
>severe sexual dysfunction as a result of abuse
>finally meet mom's family
>they're all drunks and laugh at me and claim that I was the abuser's favourite and that I'm privileged because they like my sister more
But yeah I have a lot of sympathy for the guy who's mad his single mom never put him in sports or whatever so he never asked his oneitis out. I guess.

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Yes, what makes me most sad of all is that someone can ruin a person's entire life for a few minutes of pleasure. 70 years of pain for 5 minutes of enjoyment. I think that must be the most selfish thing one is capable of. These people deserve worse than death.

before you kill yourself you should take her out too.

I blocked most of childhood memories because of it.

Now I'm a useless, dependent and neurotic 28-yr-old piece of shit still living with parents in a developing country where getting a house is harder than US or Europe.

Even if things change, I just think I'll kill myself. I hate myself and others all the time. Only reason I don't do it right now is because I'm too ashamed of doing it in front of parents.

Raped as a child, beaten around, homeless most of my life and more but it's too much effort to write out a long post. I rewrote my emotional states (memories) with the usage of ketamine so I no longer suffer from these memories and am generally content, lonely I suppose due to no gf but besides that alright.

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My childhood wasn't as bad as yours, but why don't you just become dark and cynical. It's better that way.
>Mixed Race
>Mother gave birth to me when she was 39
>She was an alcoholic since she was 13
>Parents divorced when I was 4
>Spent time growing up with father and also mother
>Father was cool, but he was 63 when I was born
>Mother was always drunk, 100's of beer cans around house, little food in house so I lived off cereal
>One time cable man came over and he could barely walk through the house
>Day after day, year after year, goes by with my mom so drunk she can barely speak
>Now 22, mother still drunk in living room with beercans all around house and dishes everywhere, father is 85 with alzheimers

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Fuck, I wrote you a whole long message and the computer ate it. Anyway...

Let's not okay Victim Olympics. Your situation sounds genuinely awful and as someone who is taking care of their elderly aunt (the abuser in question) - a woman who has all her mental faculities and is genuinely quite charming - the prospect of caring for parents as decrepid as yours is quite horrific.

>cynical
I'm generally nice. The comment at the end of my post wasn't directed at anyone in this thread, but the general whiny maggots of Jow Forums.
>waaaaaah! My kind but inept mother divorced my emotionally vacant father who doesn't talk to me but clearly she's the reason I have a collection of piss jugs and cum boxes, I hate her!

>Let's not victim olympics

>proceeds to posit how he has had it worse than everyone who uses this board

also why the fuck do you not just let your aunt die/kill them? Easy way out of your situation and it sounds like they deserve it.

>have it worse
That was me being objective. You know a lot of people whose parents died tragically and then spent the rest of their life being tormented in every way a person could be tormented by virtually every person around them because of a physical deformity? You forgot the part where I refused to let user's minimise his own problems because they were clearly legitimate and comparable to my own. If what I said made you mad, it was probably because you fit into the "whiny maggot" category.

>just let your aunt die
Seems like I was right. Maybe this will explain things:

She loves Nabokov (hilarious!) and reread Lolita recently (really, it's too funny). When I visited her she read aloud that part about Humbert on the hill. Wasn't sure what to say. I just said "thank you" in a quiet voice and we both stared at the wall until the nurse came.

> gets mad at a guy for saying he was abused worse than most people
> "y dont u kill yer abuser?"

Is this honestly how normies think abuse works?

I'm so sorry to hear that, user. Wish I could have taken your place instead

When I was about 8-13 my dad always shouted at me and hit me for no paricular reason, called me fat and grabbed be by my hair and slammed me against things, well now i am mute. he now sexually harrasses me now that im older. and yes im a girl with daddy issues now

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God, I hate normies.

Can you leave?

Are you referring to the "chorus of children at play" speech?

not sure if it is just molestation but a "frozen" voice where they sound a lot younger than they are
for women it is definitely different than the "baby voice" some of them do, its way weirder and higher
you may have seen people talking about it in regards to that woman that accused kavanaugh

I'm fascinated by this and never heard it before. You have citations?

its probably bullshit desu all i got it from is this guy who ran a sex hotline washingtontimes.com/news/2002/apr/30/20020430-042342-4180r/

Damn, I was 6 when the same thing happened, thought I was chad as hell but also very confused

Fuck off Chad go back to the club

Molested by cousin at age 8
Cadets saved my morals
Currently rationing my food as I cannot afford any for the next 2 weeks

>Can you leave?
where can i go? i don't have money to get my own place, no bf, no friends, my relatives are old and cant help with paying for me

I'll save you senpai

how long till you get a job? I'm a mute and I know a girl who is a mute.

I see people talking about how their moms did weird stuff the other day and posting tweets about it or complaining about their parents for retarded reasons, and I remember it's normal for people to have parents.

Yup.
And the effects are permanent.

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Since most of the abuse wasn't physical, teachers didn't really suspect anything.
I had one teacher call CPS in 6th grade but nothing ever came of that.

my penis looks dehydrated like the circumcised one yet im not, is this a disorder or something?

Shit, I want to hug you so bad. My dad and mom were just like that and it completely crushed my self confidence and ego. Also autistic so I take everything and every criticism very seriously. Hope youre in a better place bud.

Not him (i'm ), but I was in a similar situation. They walked past my dad and turned on me instead.

Our state government has always been corrupt like that.

I was abused by my sibling. It was hell.

Jesus. Assuming you aren't larping thats rough user.

I can take a wild guess where in the country you grew up at. And I wouldn't be surprised if I'm right. Because the place I came from is exactly the same.

I was abused by the US government. They injected me with chemicals that destroyed my mind.

WEW
>dad is a violent schizophrenic paedophile from a rough city
>my mum was also violent
>parents moved from Manchester to Taunton in 1981 because racist
>had my sister in '89 and me in '92
>used to beat me, lock me in cupboards and wash mouth out with soap when I was as young as 3
>had to watch and sometimes get caught inbetween parents physical fighting
>mum and dad divorced in '95
>mum took me and sister to Manchester women and childrens home
>met a guy called Frank
>he used to beat me and my sister, swung us by our ears until they bled
>dad set up a meeting and took us to Exeter
>sexually abused me, physically abused me, mentally abused me and verbally abused me
>used to go crazy a lot, heavy drinker. extremely violent
>dropped sister off at cop station in June of '97
>I'm with this crazy bastard until late '98
>go into care
>am withdrawn
>I molested kids when I was a kid (even living with my dad)
>my foster dad cheated on my foster mum so there were a lot of fights there
>foster dad has punched me on occasion
>I tried to fuck foster sister
>killed her hamsters and a dog
>pyromaniac
>thought about mass murder a lot
>thief
>vandal
>I attempted burglary once
>zoophillia
>foster dad rinsed my mum out of 30,000 quid last October and the resulting animosity between them made me fucking worried
>but they renewed their vows for 25th anniversary so whatever
>recently find out paedo dad died 3 years ago

>mum constantly went out drinking well into the night
>also has an issue with drugs
>got the belt/cord a few times though admittedly I was being a shithead for most of it
>constant arguing between her and dad
>pretty much considered me a glorified ornament
>got sexually fondled when I was in middle school and very beginning of high school
>nearly got the police called on me from bullying/assaulting someone
>forced to learn how to control such urges even though I am a seething ball of restrained rage
>mum decides pissing away all the little money we had on shitty trinkets, drugs, and god knows what else
>all the while I try to be a good big brother and toughen my siblings up
>get assaulted a few times, took every ounce of willpower I had to not murder someone because I dont feel like taking a trip through the mess that is the justice system/juvenile delinquency
>still broke a few noses though, which was nice
>mum gets drunk/high on more than a few holiday occasions, breaks dishes and the like
>mum cucks dad on numerous occasions, even taking me and my first brother to some random boomstick concert in the middle of the goddamn night leaving us alone for more than an hour to see one of the members (I was around 11-12 at the time)
>anytime I see any lovey dovey shit I get this sick feeling in my stomach and the only person I ever cared about died in 2012 from esophageal cancer
>also dad would sometimes hit the old dog we had
>find myself dissociating a good bit
>took that ACE test thing once and got a 9/10, nearly went to 10 but there was no one that went to prison or something
>etc. etc.
I would say I mellowed out a good bit compared to when I was a teenager. I still get pissed and annoyed, but now everything is mostly apathy and cold indifference. On an unrelated note I cannot wait until fall and winter gets here, pic sort of related. I have done shitty things and dont expect anyone to take be in my corner, never did.

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FUCK the US government.
Fuck muh Masons pedophile FAGGOTS creeping on young boys

my mom and dad used to beat me, i was raised as a christian boy in the jehova witness cult.
the beatings stopped as i hit puberty and got wide shoulders and be bigger than my parents.
since i moved out i can get along with then a little bit better, but then i stay a couple days things get always worse and into arguments.

My mom used to vent and beat me to get her frustrations and insecurities out. I had three sisters I didnt want that happening to, so I took it. I was deprived of everything. I never got a bed while all of my other siblings did. I didnt have toys or books. If she found them, she threw them away. I couldnt go trick or treating when they could. I had to sleep in the hallway or the garage. I was essentially her slave. Made me do all the chores in the house. My mom spent every single dime of child support on herself. My dad was in prison so he wasnt making much but he was paying what he could. The worst physical abuse she did to me was make me drink a whole cup of dish soap and then beat me in the face with a pan, breaking my top two teeth and one of the lower ones. She left a giant welt and took me into school that day. She threatened me all the way to the school door. She said to tell the teachers that me and my older sister got in a fight. She told me that if I reported her, they would return me home and she would beat me again. I started seriously contemplating poisoning my mom from the age of 8, and then started contemplating suicide at the age of 12. I started self harming, and luckily one of my classmates saw and reported it, because that day changed my life. The counselor asked me what was happening, and said he was obligated to call my mom for cases like that. I just broke down. I said shes going to beat me if you call her. He did still call her, but he also called CPS to come to my school the next day and evaluate me. I told them everything and was out of that house in under two weeks. I went to live with my dad who is an ex convict, and he means well, but hes also not been the best dad in the world. Definitely the lesser of the evils though. Now Im on my own and couldnt be happier.

(((The Masons))) are OLD FAGGOTS who STALK YOUNG BOYS

Everyone rich stalks young boys.

My dad was always easily angered, and I'd always walk around nervously if I knew that he was in a bad mood. He didn't beat me, he just shouted at me whenever he noticed something I hadn't done and would literally look for faults to point out. He called me lazy, an idiot, and a worthless drug addict (for being on my computer so much).

My mom's bipolar, so she's always had her own problems, but she never projected any of it onto me. She always were extremely kind to me, maybe too kind. It was always like a game of good cop/bad cop with them, unintentionally. But later on in my childhood (8-9), my mom started drinking too much and eventually became an alcoholic. My dad and her managed to hide it from me and my sister for a few years, but one day she was alone with us and got really drunk. It was extremely traumatising to me because previously she had been the only parent I had been relying on for nearly everything, so seeing her let go of herself in such a manner definently made me paranoid. Everything nice goes away in the end, aye?

My mom started sobering up after a while, but alas it was of no use. The alcohol had already taken a toll on her and she started developing dementia, she had to quit work. She started going around at home doing nothing but watch television and basically dropped all of her other hobbies, and I always felt forced to hang out with her in an attempt to make her feel a bit less depressed. Either way, after that instance my dad didn't care much about trying to hide it anymore. He still, up to this day, blames me for a lot of her issues. When I can't do something and ask him for help, he always tells me to ask my mother instead - I explain to him how I can't because she isn't able to do that and he shouts at me asking why nobody in the family can be responsible except for him.

I'm looking forward to moving out, but I don't want to leave my mom alone with him.

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>I forgot it for my teenage years but started to remember it again 1 year ago.
This happened to me. Forgot and never really cared for a long time, but it came back 2 years ago and killed me ever since. But it was worse for me because it was my male cousin but same age.

This is me . I just read the last bit of your post, and I'm planning suicide too. Sometime next year, which is when I'm supposed to be graduating education and applying for a job in the Air Force - if my life was fine. But I will never.

No wonder a lot of you hate women, your moms were shit lol
So glad I had a mommy that loved me

i suppose. dad was a drunk and mom was psychotic. i don't remember my dad every beating me, but apparently i told child services that he did at some point. was put in multiple foster homes with asshole parents and other foster kids who'd sexually bully me. eventually i was put in a nice foster home and kinda forgot all the bad stuff, but i guess i never really got over those first few years because now i'm a neet and spend all my days inside on my computer.

i now also enjoy being insulted and humiliated because at least that's better than being ignored and neglected

>worse for me because it was a male cousin
imagine being this much of a faggot trying to one up the OP by saying "it was boy instead of girl!". You deserved it nigger, unless he assfucked you or something.

Well, my father was an abusive piece of shit. I'm 30 now and I can still remember shit from when I was like 5 or 6 where he'd get drunk and beat the shit out of me. It'd all in the past now, and I'm doing alright. The Army helped me get past a lot of my issues caused by the abuse. I used to not be able to look people in the eye and I would do everything possible to avoid violent interactions. I refuse to see my father nowadays even though he's pushing 60.

There was also the psychological/verbal shit you'd expect from a drunk lunatic. That shit sticks with you, especially when your dad is screaming 'retard' in your face when you got a 'c' in middle school. But he's dug his own grave, that old fuck can die alone and miserable.

He did some time in prison for statutory rape and I hate him a lot more for what he did to that girl than for any amount of physical violence I suffered from him. A real piece of shit human being, and unfortunately my father.

my dad told me when I was older than he used to beat me a lot when I was a kid when I was alone with him. he told me this when I was about 18 and was laughing as he said it. "you could take a lot of pain hahahahah"

personally I don't give a shit cos I don't remember any of it. although I do have a sadistic personality disorder these days and I wonder if it was because of him that caused this. I like inflicting pain on people a lot. if I have a child I won't beat them though.

Thanks user, I appreciate that.

Canada? Now I'm curious where you meant. I lived in rural Ontario.

raped a lot as a child. Not sure how many probably more than 20 people have decided to rape me. I have probable been raped hundreds of times.

I feel like I am a lost cause at this point. There is nothing left for me in this world.

dad was angry drunk at least once or twice a week he'd lose his cool spanking me and it would just turn into beating me all over. Babysitter (female surprisingly) used to take me into the back room and have me do sexual things with her, but honestly it wasn't even traumatizing, just kinda boring because I wanted to watch cartoons.

Come one, man I was being honest. You can't deny it was worst because it was gay. I feel just as bad as I do for the other user.

probably yes go check it out or suffer the consequences

well user you are a sick fuck but for understandable reason still... a sick fuck

dementia kills the person you loved before the body so don't feel bad about her because she's dead, only her body lingers on for a bit, a hollow husk so to speak