Tfw no dick

Never for me, it doesn't have enough force to go all the way to my face while laying down.

why is your cum to sticky? i cant imagine how it wont just wipe off with a shirt or something

well if you let it be for a while then it becomes sticky. right after i ejaculate it's totally liquid. and what's making it worse is that it especially sticks to my body hair. after i ejaculate it feels nice to just lay around a while and not rush to clean things.

>sticks to my body hair
i never knew i wanted this before now

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postnut is disgusting after a couple of seconds, youre too lazy to get up and wash yourself and too disgusted to just pull up your pants

It's nicer when you edge. You can feel this pressure building up behind your dick, like the hardness is trying to make its way out. Then you get this mental feeling when you're actually about to come before anything physical happens, like everything clears out of your head for a second. Then you feel this throbbing all through your dick and back into your pelvis as all the pressure is released, less like turning a valve and more like turning a dial, more 100% to 80% then 50% than a smooth let off, big jumps.
After all that is over, you're either smiling a bit because you feel good or are mad because you fucked the tissue up and came all over something you didn't want to, which is annoying but fine so long as you clean it before it gets dry.

I did once and I had been edging for around four hours.

why the hell would you want that legit question?

If that happens than you want to kys

having a hairy chest and belly, cumming on yourself and having it stick in the hair? why do you not want that? its like a sandwich of masculinity

This just sounds like a clitoral orgasm with jizz, but I'm like a prader II so maybe I'm just a mutant.

My bf says he accidentally came in his eye once. Big oof

Sounds pretty hot to be honest, user.

god i love reading threads like this and hearing details about guys cumming

eh i don't care about masculinity that much myself. i'm just me. and as i said i see nothing more than annoyance in cumming on yourself, especially on hair.

well thats because youre a slut

does eating your own cum ever happen?

i mean it can be hot when you're doing it but once you realize you need to clean up it's just straight up annoying. i just prefer to dodge that bad feeling i get when i know i have to do time wasting cleanup

all this talk about cum being annoying, why not jack off in condoms?

Reminder there's no women on r9k. All these replies are from larping gay men

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What happened to make your dick not work?

i would but it would cost money and i don't have balls to go buy them because i dunno it's just awkward for me

instantly after orgasm any amount of lust you had disappears so no
i sometimes cum in my mouth on accident especially if i start to feel the orgasm but stop and a bit of cum squirts out but thats it
>spending money to jack off

That's fair. I suppose I'm spoiled by not having to deal with cleanup. But if you're properly prepared, cum sounds like a hot addition to masturbation.

>start to feel the orgasm but stop and a bit of cum squirts out
what? can you cum without an orgasm or have an orgasm without cumming?

i mean i guess. if i could be sure that it won't fly on something that i have to cleanup later or on me then i would cum wherever, but that's just not the case.

dry orgasms are a thing. i dunno about cumming without orgasm tho, maybe porn stars do that but probably your ordinary guy i dunno

sometimes when i take tylenol i ejaculate but the orgasm comes a few seconds later
i dont know why

Mine has a tendency to shoot really far so I'm usually in danger of hitting my face, that's why I've always got a hand towel or similar nearby to cover up at the end.

Its like squishing a warm gogurt and youre tingly all over. the end

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its so weird to think that all guys cum every single time they masturbate

>hundreds of gallons of cum wasted every single day
what if we force everyone to cum in a cum bag, then filter out the cum particles so that its just water, and then ship the water to third world countries? we can solve a lot of problems like that.

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I've shot it on top of my head and over it many times as a teenager. It was kinda funny the first time but I've since started catching it with paper.

for guys who use a cum sock or cum shirt or cum rag, do you ever smell it? can you please describe the smell for me?

It's not as good as you think because it doesn't last very long and afterwards you have to clean it up while feeling at your lowest point.

feeling a rush of dopamine followed by a guilt, slight confusion and a crushing return to normality from what was previously a rather enjoyable experience. I'm not one, but I believe women have it better.

why dont you faggots just go to a cocklust thread

I tried a few times, but it's not very easy or comfortable. You have to cum while lying on your back and sticking your legs in the air and compressing your abdomen, and it's extremely easy to miss, and more likely that you'll miss than hit your face.

I prefer to cum in my hand and then smear it on my face.

>imagine needing to clean yourself after masturbating
>imagine not being able to jerk off in public without people noticing
>imagine not being able to cum multiple times in a row
being a guy sounds awful

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Are you regretting your open wound, tranny? Pls dilate.

fresh cum can smell like bleach or wheat.

being able to cum on or in things sounds really fun desu and isnt it an instinct for all guys? imagine being driven by millions of years of evolution to cum inside of a girl. it seems really hot

This.

First time a plumber unblocked my sink I thought he might have masturbated because I could smell cum on the paper towels he had left in the bin.

It was only later that I realised that cum smells like bleach. I'd never used bleach before or cleaned properly so I didn't know.

100% this, "fembots" are just trannies larping.

my cumrag unironically smells exactly like these animal crackers
my fresh cum smells like pancake batter
so i guess in general cum has a slightly sweet smell to it but i dont want to test if it also tastes sweet

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you should try your own cum. Its not that bad. I cant swallow it because i realize how disgusting it is after i orgasm.

im not going to eat my own cum you fucking faggot

it feels miserable
its only feels good from a prostate orgasm hands free

this desu. There's no better orgasm than a prostate hands free orgasm

wtf. and I thought I was weird for sucking myself and swallowing.

Fucking kidding, women can orgasm for like 5 minutes straight, male orgasm is a joke in comparison.

It feels disgusting and you're overcome with shame and self-loathing before the cum even starts coming out and covering your body in revolting sticky goo.

not gonna lie, sometimes i get really horny and want to come in my face. But its gross afterward.

You have to do it with a JOI where she guides you through it.

finally someone said it. and thy can do it as many times as they like without refractory periods

i mean guys still can have dry orgasms so that's close enough i guess since there is no refractory period with those

Yes, although I don't expect many guys to do this. I lick it off or get some on my finger and suck it off.

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>first time jacking off in a day
>cum is really thick and white like glue and doesnt squirt out at all
>second time its more clear and watery and squirts all over the place
why

Seriously have no idea what you people are talking about with "dry orgasms". The only time less cum shoots out during orgasm is if it already squirted out beforehand as precum or while edging. I don't think a normal man can have an orgasm without cumming, it's not something you can control

dry orgasm is i think mostly mental thing. might be easier to achieve without actually touching dick but instead nipple or prostate or some other erogenous zone. it's just a feeling of cumming without actually ejaculating

It's not as great as you'd think. A guy loses his libido after he cums. You're just like "fuck why did I have to make a mess".

thats why its so important to last longer when stimulating your dick.

This, it's fucking awful, I want to kill myself after each time I cum.

Women can just go on and on.

I can't imagine the pleasure I feel from cumming could match what a girl gets from getting penetrated by a big dick

Yes, but unless it's a wet wipe there's still residue.

>hey guiz look @ me so degenerate lol random
Isn't that a fat mutation?

It's nice but not all things actually feel good to cum in. Fleshlights are fun, sexdolls probably even more, cumming in a real girl must be the heavenliest shit ever but what do I know. I'm a lonely robot virgin.
Cum tastes mildly salty, user. The texture is weird, it's a little gloppy (YMMV, my cum is always pretty thick and slimey), and definitely a bit sticky, kinda like mucus. But from my experience the taste isn't offensive at all, it's just the texture. It's also kinda unpleasantly lukewarm but not "hot" like written erotica would have you believe.
I've cummed in my own mouth once or twice lying with my legs behind my head, basically the selfsucking position except I can't actually selfsuck. It wasn't that bad, my dick wasn't 100% hard so it didn't feel as good but the added kink factor was nice. No cleanup necessary, which is also nice compared to other forms of fap where cleanup can be a real downer.
I should probably add that I'm pretty comfortable with my body and sexual functions including my cum and precum.
This is true. Prostate handsfree orgasms or even just heavy prostate stimulation leading to normal orgasm is absolutely heavenly. Hard to achieve for me unfortunately, I don't get to practice often. No shame in liking anal, it's great and intimate.

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is it normal to trade bjs with a friend? asking for a friend.

is the friend a guy or a girl?

a guy pretending to be a girl

cumming in a girl is breddy fucking cash user. especially a girl you truly love.

Yep. And losing her sucks worse than just about anything.

I bet, user. Congratulations on having had the experience.
For me it's on the bucket list. If I don't manage within a few years I'll get the nicest escort I can find and use a thin premium condom to get the experience.

Are you ok desu

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yes
Origaniolo

wtf how dare you want a dick when all I want is a vagina. The female orgasm is 1000x better wtf

ungrateful bitch give me ur tits

i nut at least twice a day
lose weight

>refractory period of over 1 day
i hope you are old, if not stop watching porn so much

I did once just to see what all the hype was about with women saying it was nasty. Didn't taste bad, see why some women like it, especially with how the taste lingers, although the dryness in your throat isn't great. Don't do it anymore because after you've already came you don't have the capacity to feel sexual about anything. Nothing against doing it in the future, just no other reason to by myself and you have to find some way to capture it without getting it everywhere. Might be a turbovirgin but I ain't licking up a freshly moistened tissue.
You can. Called a ruined orgasm, can also happen if you're not hard when you come, which can happen from edging. Both aren't that fun, although you can half ruin one and it's kind of nice.

>tfw have dick
>tfw in the middle of some serious death anxiety so it won't get up, all I can do is stare at a wall in horror.
Help me. I spend every day waiting for death.

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Yeah im quite the shooter. It's kind of bitter

>pat your head
Shhh, user-kun. It'll be okay, I promise. It'll be okay.

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*cries into your shoulder*
I want to believe.

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The only difference between a roastie and a robot is that a roastie can get sex.

You'd be just like them if you had their body. It's all jealousy and you know it.

Then believe, little user. I believe in you, too. Everything is going to be okay. Let it all out for me, alright? Don't hold back. It's okay to cry.

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What in the fuck are you on about Desu?

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Days without crying = 0

Thank you user, I feel a little better, for now.

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Jesus I was not ready for that

whenever i feel bad about my inferior emotional brain i remember how good and plentiful the orgasms are
enjoy your refractory period smelly faggy boys