Ask a therapist anything

Short session tonight. Questions with short answers only. Questions whose answers would take too much time will be answered another time.

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How do I deal with people that are supposed to be my friends saying I have an advantage in life because I'm white? How do I make them suffer as well?

Why do I enjoy hurting myself?

I self-harm not as a coping mechanism and I'm careful with it (never cut too deep, make sure not to get infected.) Why is that bad? Should I stop? Don't care about the cosmetic aspect.

why are you payed money? i remember i just walked mental loops around my highschool therapist.

You can discuss the issue calmly without making it personal for them or yourself. Race won't save you from most of the worst things in life. That said, this isn't a pleasant topic to discuss with friends, especially if they already have their minds made up.

Possibly because it releases tension for you, possibly because you think you deserve punishment, possibly because it makes your less visible problems feel more real if you hurt yourself for them.

Do psychologically healthy people feel down sometimes too? How do you personally deal with moments of sadness if you have any?

>I self-harm not as a coping mechanism
Then why?

There's a chance they knew what you were doing but didn't point it out so you'd stick around.

Of course. I'm not a good example of a psychologically healthy person. As to how I deal with it, I try to help others.

How do I get funnier and more interesting? When ever I try to talk to a women IRL or online they dont seem to entertained. I try asking them about themselves making an observation or joke or one of my own related anecdotes, but it always feels like an interogation.
>Question
>One word answer
>I try use that as jumping off point to move along conversation
>maybe one word responce or she just ghosts
Why am I so boring?

Do not feed the attention-starved cunt.

How should I stop intrusive thoughts?

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I have constant OCD shifting from one obsession to another do I need to take meds or do just therapy or what please help its ruining my life im 20 y/o female

As a... well... hobby? There's just something satisfying about it.

How do I get over being used by someone? I feel so worthless. I'm that fucking ugly? All they wanted was my body? I don't know how to move on with my life. Maybe I'll get plastic surgery but still. It hurts right now. I need closure. I gave them everything I could've. I did so much for them only to be used and abused and dumped like a piece of garbage.

For the first 20 years of my life my narcissistic dad would always diminish or make fun of my achievements and my mom was always obsessive about neatness and controlling in that respect.

Either because of that or more I suffer from extreme executive dysfunction, and despite apathy making a lot of my social anxiety, general anxiety, etc. fade, I find myself almost incapable of translating thoughts into action.

Do you think there is any meaningful hope for me?

>How do I get funnier and more interesting? When ever I try to talk to a women IRL or online they dont seem to entertained. I try asking them about themselves making an observation or joke or one of my own related anecdotes, but it always feels like an interogation.
You're focusing too hard on them, I would say. If you're any nervous about it, it becomes obvious, and this puts pressure on them, and nobody likes that, even if they would like you otherwise. What puts people at ease is when nothing is at stake. Don't actually try to do anything more than having a good, casual time.

>54329130
>Question
>One word answer
>I try use that as jumping off point to move along conversation
>maybe one word responce or she just ghosts

If you ask something and get a one word answer, you completely stop.Think of it as a balancing act, or two people on a seesaw: if you move too close, too soon, the other person will never take off and the balance is over. You must give people time to breathe and to act.

Remember: you aren't supposed to do all the work or prove yourself to women. Trying this makes you sound like you have no self-esteem. This never attracts anyone (it attracts abusive types, though).

I'm sure you aren't boring, but you probably put people on the spot without even realising. Instead of casually talking with you, women realise you're trying to seduce them and this instantly kills everything EVEN if they would like you otherwise.

i doubt it. i expressed a normal thought as an extreme one and they advised me to seek further help if those thoughts became consistent. they were even suggesting psychiatry if those thoughts persisted.

Do you ever wonder why I focus on other people if what I was after was attention? If I wanted attention, I'd post pictures of my body and ask what user wanted to do to me. Quite the contrast with what I actually do.

Use counter thoughts that make you feel at peace. Imagine being somewhere you love. You can even try reciting prayers or mantras to fill your consciousness with that and block out other thoughts. Another way is to think intrusive thoughts don't matter and let it all go.

I'd definitely see an expert on OCD and do therapy with them. This is healable very seriously. I didn't specialise in that, so I won't say much. If you can seek therapy for it, specifically, do it. Otherwise you can find resources even on YouTube. It's a very specific problem, so its solutions are easier to find.

Is there a therapist or some sort of doctor that can teach me how to socialize properly or help me with social anxiety

>I'm not a good example of a psychologically healthy person
No shit. You're a beta harvester, same as any e-thot. Only you repeated post photos of an attractive woman since you, yourself, are not one.

Still, you're no different than any of these e-whores taking advantage of these lonely dudes looking for any female contact at all. You see them as nothing more than an attention farm for yourself and your opportunistic ME ME ME hangups.

Here's an idea - maybe do what every other woman does and slather a bunch of garbage on your face so you trick a dude into marrying you. At least then you're not doing something as pathetic as farming for attention from incels.

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Perhaps you're self-harming as a coping mechanism but would prefer not be aware of what the problem is.

>How do I get over being used by someone? I feel so worthless. I'm that fucking ugly? All they wanted was my body?
Focus on how this person most likely doesn't know you, so don't take it personally: it could have been anyone else. Don't get plastic surgery, there's most likely nothing wrong with you. I know this situation very well, and I know it's hard to feel worthwhile after something like this; just focus on how you can't think in a non-biased way for now, and give your thoughts a rest. You'll resume thinking about it when the dust has settled.

Focus on other things in the meantime, and if you can, other people.

>Do you think there is any meaningful hope for me?
There is. You know what the problem is, that is generally the biggest step in recovery. Can't say too much, but for now: remember that narcissists attack what makes them feel inferior.

What other disorders might cause someone to be low or non functioning besides autism? I don't think I'm autistic but I can't take care of myself because I can't socialize well enough to get a job or earn money like other people and I think there's something inherently wrong with me.

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I'm not a psych but what I figured out and what worked for me was fourfold:

The first is the principle of forgiving yourself, because being harsh on yourself is just another bit of self-sabotage/intrusive thought, it has to go.

Second is to focus just on noticing when you think intrusive thoughts, and even if at first you only manage it 1 time in 10, forcibly thinking something else, whatever it is. Even empty praising yourself you don't believe in, point is to derail the pattern of falling into those thoughts

Third is that my thoughts are there to help me succeed, if a thought is making me feel bad, then unless it is directly contributing to making a decision or progress, it's gotta go. This includes dwelling on something. The fewer thoughts making me feel bad, the more mental and emotional space I will have in the future.

Four, when I feel like I cannot do something, I evaluate it and make the decision. If I feel like yeah I can manage it, I do it. If I really feel like I cannot, no matter how important it is, I decide not to, forgive myself, and don't do it. This way the next time I think about doing it, there will be one less association between thinking about it and misery, and it will be a little easier.

Pls giff feedback about my armchair psychology

Yes, most therapists should be able to do that.

>What other disorders might cause someone to be low or non functioning besides autism?
Countless. Having ill-socialised parents who can't teach it is usually the culprit. If your parents have no real friends, it's unlikely you learned great social skills from them.

There probably is something wrong with you, but it need not be your fault. You didn't raise yourself, and the impact of that is enormous.

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>The first is the principle of forgiving yourself, because being harsh on yourself is just another bit of self-sabotage/intrusive thought, it has to go.
10/10

>Second is to focus just on noticing when you think intrusive thoughts, and even if at first you only manage it 1 time in 10, forcibly thinking something else, whatever it is. Even empty praising yourself you don't believe in, point is to derail the pattern of falling into those thoughts
10/10

>Third is that my thoughts are there to help me succeed, if a thought is making me feel bad, then unless it is directly contributing to making a decision or progress, it's gotta go. This includes dwelling on something. The fewer thoughts making me feel bad, the more mental and emotional space I will have in the future.
10/10

>Four, when I feel like I cannot do something, I evaluate it and make the decision. If I feel like yeah I can manage it, I do it. If I really feel like I cannot, no matter how important it is, I decide not to, forgive myself, and don't do it. This way the next time I think about doing it, there will be one less association between thinking about it and misery, and it will be a little easier.
10/10

This is all excellent. I have to go soon, but you should take over.

To be fair, I have understood it for years, it just... took me years to stop using my understanding of my issues in self-sabotage, and that kind of built a big twisted web of garbage.

I've been able to move forward a bit, until I developed gut issues(looks most likely to be Crohn's), and the months until managing to figure it out really utterly ruined my sanity again.

I've actually been to therapy(before that, some 2 years ago), but.. it just did not move forward. I have always known what to do, getting out of my house helped a little, but... I never could take any step that would help me. I always found it hard to let myself succeed, which at some point developed into finding it hard to try, and then just a lot of garbage.

Omg no, I get awful anxiety with any kinds of responsibility. Main reason why I stopped trying to help people online. I just post that summary now and then because I think it's the most generally useful set of things I can say.

;_; I'm sorry.

Someone told me I caused them lots of emotional labor. Only thing is I barely talk to this person and have only asked for advice 2 or 3 times. This is the only person to say this to me. I was pretty upset with how it was brought up now I'm in a situation where I don't want to talk to person for a while. Should I confront them over this or should I continue not speaking to them?

If someone antagonize someone or something, is it true that they're projecting or is the claim that "they're projecting" just a cope from an observer? Or is it a percentage of both?

>I developed gut issues(looks most likely to be Crohn's),
Cut out gluten and see if it improves.

>I always found it hard to let myself succeed, which at some point developed into finding it hard to try, and then just a lot of garbage.
Read about Impostor's Syndrome. You most likely have it as most people with certain parents.

>Omg no, I get awful anxiety with any kinds of responsibility.
I have no doubt you will be doing a better job than me tonight, as I am leaving very soon. You're great, everything you said was spot and I sincerely don't think my own answer would have been better than yours. In fact, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have been. Value yourself, user, you are gold.

>;_; I'm sorry.
Don't be sorry. I'm honored you're here and you can help people. Don't pressure yourself, just stick around and stay positive, and wonders will happen. If you don't know something, just say so and offer support in your listening. You don't have to if you don't want to, but this thread could work without me to some degree.

You guys should care for each other more.

But yeah, you are based, user.

>Someone told me I caused them lots of emotional labor.
I'd ask what they meant exactly and why, as this is fairly mysterious.

It can definitely be projection. You might be hated for being what someone else wishes they could be, or for being what they are. It's possible. Projection is very very real. It's hard to believe when you don't function that way, but it's real.

How hairy are you? Everything from forearms, armpits, down to nipples, toes, asshole, etc. Detailed description please.

Without putting too many details out, I told her that I like her friend. She told me I was being annoying and thought I'd be better than that. Insulted my feelings and told me they were based on nothing and said I have caused emotional labor. Part of it is her having guys tell her in the past that they like her and ruining friendships, but I still think she was really rude and unfair towards me. I was pretty upset about the whole thing and haven't spoken to her since.

> Value yourself, user, you are gold.
Meow. Well, that is a very nice thing to say, thank you.

I prefer to just offer some advice now and then randomly, though admittedly typically people not specifically looking out to get better are tough nuts.

I think the worst thing is how often people just kind of end up... idk, being unable to believe that things could change, and working hard to reinforce the notion. I've used to do it myself a lot too, and I guess I'm doing it right now too with how bad my mindstate is, so it's not like I don't understand it but it makes me sad.

I wish society was kinder to people and no one had to end up like this, and that I wasn't so screwed up myself, because I would like to help people, and I want to go back to programming and making games again but I barely keep myself glued together much of the time.

Thanks for listening.

Just here for my free (you)

Hi user.

You didn't insult anyone so you're already ahead of Jow Forums.

>I told her that I like her friend.
She most likely took this as an insult to herself, as though you didn't even think of her as a potential date, since you talk of other women you're interested in (whether that's what you meant or not). It may be mere jealousy here, and that may suggest she's sort of into you.

Being upset at her isn't going to solve things, if this is what is happening.

>I think the worst thing is how often people just kind of end up... idk, being unable to believe that things could change, and working hard to reinforce the notion. I've used to do it myself a lot too, and I guess I'm doing it right now too with how bad my mindstate is, so it's not like I don't understand it but it makes me sad.
Learned helplessness.

>Thanks for listening.
Thank you for being here.

Free (you).

This.

Anons, I must depart, sadly. I wish you all the best, and all my love.

Perhaps stick together and share amongst yourselves; if people care, it helps. We're in this together.

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Hello user! 2 (You)'s for 0 effort, best thread in the catalog I daresay

Somewhat related, I tried online dating again as you suggested. I have messaged roughly 100 different women and got 2 replies so far in same format as above. Standard internet advice has been be creative and funny and stuff, I'm trying but the amount of effort to result is disheartening. How do I demonstrate value without seeming desperate?
Also profile has 4 pics of me doing stuff with friends and aren't selfies. I'm clearly not hot but I'm not deformed or fat. Bio describes me pretty accurately. Grammer ok but I phone post so not great. not going after model tier girls or anything but not land-whales either. Are my standards to high. Am I a narcissistic entitled twat?

oops I got too excited misreplied

Have you ever dealt with someone who was facing a crisis that they clearly identified as being spiritual in nature? Like, if a Christian came to you, dealing with problems of faith or sin, would you point them to a pastor? If not, how have/would you proceed?

I'm not talking about actual schizos btw.

Ehhh. I dont think it's that. She already has a bf. I think she's trying to look out for her friend, but she says one thing and her friend says the opposite or just doesn't tell me she feels that way so I get a lot of mixed signals.

I have a stupid coping mechanism where I get sleepy when I have to do something I know is difficult so I say something like "I'll put in 5x effort when I wake up," and I never do. I think it's the expectation of the 'future' (when I wake up) that makes me hopeful for once, how exactly do I get rid of this?

Do you think its wrong for tranny posters to flood our board with their degenerate content? I feel like they're trying to brainwash with trap hentai. Please help

Online dating really blows... for women you get so much attention and so much of it crappy that you just end up being selective and wary even if you don't want to.

On the male side, you get the other part of it, personality or even looks won't cut it for getting conversations going, you pretty much have to play the whole hookup game and even then results are paltry... it certainly sucks and hard.

Everyone would benefit from more balanced gender ratio sites, but... the one that comes to my mind off the top of my head is filled with undergae people :F

Do it in the moment, and do small enough steps that you can actually manage. Over time you'll find things becoming slowly, slowly more manageable.

It might help a little to gameify your use of time too, like a Pomodoro app, where you do 15m of work, then either take a 5m break, finish the session, or do another 15m, with a bigger break inbetween, it tricks your mind into being just a little more eager to work on things.

While the cutehouse garbage is absolutely abominable, please don't think that that's what all trans people are like, most of them are good people, just really depressed and trying to get by.

For what it's worth you can't just be brainwashed into being trans, the worst they do is dragging in and blackmailing either kinky+a little insane or actually trans people into their shit.

I keep telling myself half-heartedly that I want to quit drinking, but as soon as somebody offers me alcohol or I'm in a social setting where alcohol is consumed (parties, clubs etc.) my desire to quit and my self-control vanish and I drink without considering how much, until I'm close to passing out. I near consistently regret it, but then repeat the same mistakes again the next time.
Would that be considered alcohol abuse?

Why is your kind so goddamn fucking useless? do you have no shame in taking money from people just to talk some bullshit for an hour a week?

Yes, if it's escaping your control that's what an addiction is.

Dropping alcohol isn't easy, and it might help you to ask your friends and acquaintances to discourage you from it whenever they can, perhaps even avoid settings where alcohol is involved.

Sorry, I am not familiar with addictions and can only offer limited advice.

There's a lot of reasons.. some therapists aren't as good as others, some don't understand your specific kind of issues as well(especially if they're less common or heavier stuff), and some things really cannot be resolved by simple therapy.

Remember that a therapist is there to support and suggest a course of action, ultimately you can't get there without your own efforts, and sometimes the first step of being able to take steps to actually get better is the hardest of them.

I considered asking them to not buy/offer/give me alcohol, but I'm scared of the judgement if I hinted at struggling with alcohol. Especially because if I do that very shortly after we went out drinking together.

God, I don't get it. There is literally nothing forcing me to drink and every time afterwards I'm convinced that I can just quit; starting today of course. I'm not somebody who feels forced to buy alcohol when they're grocery shopping or something either, it's just these social settings that fuck me up.

I just want to say I love Elizabeth Debicki

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Hey, if they're good friends, they should understand that, even if they don't they should respect it.

> There is literally nothing forcing me to drink and every time afterwards I'm convinced that I can just quit; starting today of course.
Habits, strong habits, and a cycle of strong emotions - strong emotion are what reinforces habits(including thoughts) the hardest.
I don't know if it works with addictions, but it helps to forgive yourself and not dwell, to lower that amount of association-generating emotions.

Then there is the lifestyle dependency factor, perhaps you feel like you'll be out of the loop of fun if you don't drink, or your mind associates it as an essential part of having fun... alcohol-free parties could help, but... well, I'm not the partying type I don't even know if they have those.

I have ADHD.
Could you possibly suggest way in which I can curb my severe executive dysfunction? Please and thanks.

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Yeah, truth is alcohol just feels so fucking GOOD. I wish I could always be drunk. I don't actually want to quit, I just don't want the consequences drinking brings with it. In that regard I'm worried that forgiveness might be the wrong route, if anything I feel I should be harsher to myself, but I don't know how.
I have friends who don't drink at all, which makes me not drink either when I'm with them, but sober I'm just unlikable and weird.

I'm only attracted to girls who are 11-15 years old, older women seem too impure for me

Good on you lad. Desu.

Any methods to cope with DPDR or should I go on meds? It's minor but it fucking sucks man.

Why do I get so attached to people so easily but also assume they're all doing stuff behind my back to hurt me, even when they aren't?
I've been dealing with this by drinking a shit ton of booze and any help would be appreciated.

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How do I make sure my friend doesn't cry himself to sleep? Ive been telling him to talk to me but he wouldn't. Is there anything else I can do to help him alleviate his pain other than talking it out with him?

Being harsh on yourself doesn't really work when mental health is involved.

> but sober I'm just unlikable and weird.
I'm sure that's not true, and sounds like a possible major element of your issues - lack of self-esteem when sober. It might be helpful to know that alcohol only lowers your inhibitions, it does not change your values or character. If you're fun drunk, you have the capacity to be drunk sober.
Now you "just" need to figure out how to obtain that confidence, and how to be fun while sober.

And yeah, alcohol feels good, but I think if you phrase things the right way towards yourself, you'll find that being proud of not drinking can feel good too.

It's good that you are honest with yourself about the issue, and if you know that you need to quit, you've taken the first steps. The rest is, I'm afraid, up to you.

Not OP and not a psych, I'm struggling with executive dysfunction hard myself.
For ADHD, you can get meds from a psych, they can do a lot of good for your mental clarity.

For the executive dysfunction side of things, it helps to bring as many of the things you do into your conscious control a possible, try to avoid doing things on auto, and make decisions about whether you will do or not do something. When you do something, do it instead of waiting until you somehow get around to it on auto. Just work on this "my active decision" factor.

Do you think it's more of a fundamental issue, or does it come from the "older women seem too impure for me" viewpoint, or a combination of both?

I think that you are getting a bit too deep into resentment of women, they're really people a lot like you, and they're not any more impure than men are - and if it feels like everyone is impure, that's... going a bit too far.

> Any methods to cope with DPDR or should I go on meds? It's minor but it fucking sucks man.
I'm sorry, this is the very question I have the least of an answer to, 24/7 DPDR has been my reality for years now.
I think that it's something that improves when your environment, circumstances, etc. don't suck as hard.

> Why do I get so attached to people so easily but also assume they're all doing stuff behind my back to hurt me, even when they aren't?
First sounds like loneliness or the need for validation(lack of confidence especially in a social setting).
The second sounds like trust issues.

I've personally found some relief in like... genuinely heartfelt online friendships, usually with weirdos of my caliber, who will tell me anything and whom I can tell anything, but that's not easy to find, and you can easily go too far in baring yourself to people.

> How do I make sure my friend doesn't cry himself to sleep? Ive been telling him to talk to me but he wouldn't. Is there anything else I can do to help him alleviate his pain other than talking it out with him?
Hang out with him, show him and help him believe that he's appreciated. You could try opening up yourself, especially emotionally, that might make it easier for him to do the same. And maybe he needs a bit of a hug.

He also might not be talking to you because it's shameful to him, there's things that can be hard to admit to a friend, especially when you're afraid of judgment, but even when not.

And I'm sorry peoples, I'm not a real psych and with extremely poor mental health myself, I have to bow out of the thread if I want to have any hopes of enough stress dissipating before bedtime to be able to sleep.

Just remember to be kind to yourselves, and to others, anons. No one is a miserable or even crappy person without some reasons, and often they deserve understanding.

What does it feel like to experience strong emotions? I'm not trying to be an edgefag, I just literally cannot imagine what's it like to feel an emotion so strongly that I lose control over myself.

Say if somebody feels genuine anger and lashes out, be it physically or verbally, does it feel to them like they literally cannot act any other way? Or does the person in that moment make a subconscious decision to just let it out, regardless of the consequences?
Or if somebody is suicidal and considered to be in need of immediate attention, does that person literally feel like they cannot control their actions, as if somebody else was controlling them? Or is it also in part a conscious decision on their part where they could also simply not harm themselves if they wanted to?

I just want to feel something strongly so fucking badly. It's driving me up the fucking walls that there is never anything that overwhelms me, but at the same there seems to be nothing at all, like I'm utterly indifferent towards it. I don't even know if anything I feel is real or not. I just want to experience a strong emotion for once in my life.

Why am I like this?

Sorry this got so long.

sure shoot me with it, all my life ive been abused by my parents and now im a barely functioning member of society, what do?

>I just want to feel something strongly so fucking badly
Ironic. You have a strong feeling that makes you want to feel something strongly. Mission accomplished.

You should try taking some LSD
why do I randomly feel empty inside?

But that's the thing, it doesn't FEEL strong. I don't know how to describe it. It's like if I don't know if I feel the same way as healthy people do or not.

how do i get my mom to stop being borderline? it makes me hate all women

How do I find meaning or a path in my life?

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> sure shoot me with it, all my life ive been abused by my parents and now im a barely functioning member of society, what do?
Not OP or a psych, but it really depends on the kinds of abuse, and what mental scars they left on you.

One thing that would likely help you is finding people, ideally irl, but possibly online, that you could trust. People really need the reassurance of someone valuing them, and of support. Someone they can open up to and someone being able to open to them.

Idk. I'm very worn out and sleepy I shouldn't be replying anymore t.t

>why do I randomly feel empty inside?
Sounds like you are likely depressive, or like your life is missing something important to your fulfillment - commonly it can be good people, lack of sense of control, lack of a sense of direction/faith in the future.

>how do i get my mom to stop being borderline? it makes me hate all women
To be honest, you probably can't, people need self-reflection and desire to change to have a good shot at it, and the best you could do would be support her, and... yeah... there's good reasons why that's left to psychs.

Not only is it hard to do without insight into the human psyche, it also has a nasty habit of forming dependent relationships and otherwise crapping things up when you're a friend or a relative's psych/support.

So, I'm afraid that the best might be to suggest her to see a psych, and move out if you can :/

>How do I find meaning or a path in my life?
Beats me, but you boost your chances drastically by trying things out, especially if you try them out with peeps.

Sometimes I feel like needing a path in life could be said to be a bit of a "I'll let myself be happy if I find meaning", because to be fair, the true meaning is usually found in the mundae. In having a life that you can appreciate day to day, and once you have that you have a strong foundation for finding more in your life.

Okay I'm logging off, good night anons.

Truth is I just really want attention but I'm too much of a fucking pussy to do anything about it. I thought about slitting my wrists in some faux suicide attempt so that I could end up in a hospital where I'd be surrounded by doctors and nurses, and not have to work this shitty job, but the reality would probably be awful and it would be extremely dishonest.

Then I thought at least showing up in some hospital and telling them I was feeling suicidal, but that would be dishonest, because while I wish I was dead, I can control myself 100%. I'm too much of a fucking pussy to lie about shit like this and I don't want to fall out of line and be even more of a disappointment to my surroundings.

That's why I wish I could feel strong emotions, so that I could feel overwhelmed, attempt suicide and be showered with affection, but that's not the case and because of that I can only go off of the rational part in me. I'm like a pouting little child, but I don't care, I just want some fucking attention, jesus fucking christ, please give it to me

I think what you want isn't attention, it's someone investing effort into you and showing that they care, but... self-harm won't do that :(
As for emotions, they're something you need mental space for. They're not something you'll feel while you're stifling under a blanket of misery.
But they're not gone, they'll come back when things get better.

Sorry I'm too tired to halp. :-(

Maybe you're right. I guess in a way I do want that. I think this kind of investment is still a form of attention, but a more specific and less fleeting one. I hope my emotions come back eventually.

>Sorry I'm too tired to halp. :-(
Nah, don't worry, I got carried away a bit, because every once in a while I get a bit of an epiphany about stuff like this and I just had to write it down, because I'm never honest about it. It helped a bit and it also helped that you took the time to write that. I genuinely do appreciate it!

How do i find the motivation to do anything but stay on bed sleeping/fapping over more degenerate porn than yesterday/repeat? Besides the "just stop watching porn lol"
Like, for example, i have a big uni exam in two days and i spent the whole morning in bed, not even sleeping, just there doing nothing
I wanna be a normie again

I hope its not too late but he is mine. When do you know its time to seek professional help?

I sleep well and long but I feel miserable once I wake up, like unending dread and hopelessness. Once I'm up/showered the feelings mostly go away for the day unless something stressful arises. I've lost interest in things I used to like (though I don't know if that's just because I'm getting older) and I can't seem to relate or enjoy being around friends (though I don't know if its because I've settled, throughout my life I've never felt like I chose any of my friends, its just happened that way). I don't feel like I can show who I am or what I believe in to anyone.

Also thank you for doing this. I'm sure you are helping some of the people in this thread.

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i deal with constant anxiety and stress sometimes i lose sleep over it
I'l sit there laying down and randomly wake up to a sudden surge of memories of everything that stresses me out

Not OP, but it's time to get help as soon as you start questioning if it's time to get help. Sounds like you have textbook depression and anxiety disorder my friend, I've been there, still kinda am and it sucks. Be kind to yourself user. Seek help. You're worth it.

is me having to think about certain things when i enter certain rooms part of my ocd?

do i suffer from autogynaphilia for wanting to crossdress and get fucked like a woman?

Again, not OP, and should not be here anymore and in bed instead, but ugh...

> Maybe you're right. I guess in a way I do want that. I think this kind of investment is still a form of attention, but a more specific and less fleeting one. I hope my emotions come back eventually.
They will user, as long as you've got an idea of your issues are, the desire to improve, and the ability to be good to yourself in pursuing it, you've got the first steps down. It'll be a long road, and you should get support - professional or otherwise - but I believe in you.

> How do i find the motivation to do anything but stay on bed sleeping/fapping over more degenerate porn than yesterday/repeat? Besides the "just stop watching porn lol"
It's easier to find motivation to do things in a lifestyle that provides you with a baseline of satisfaction with yourself, but I'm not good enough at life to know how to get there
But yeah... cutting porn and instant gratification does help a bit. The human mind intrinsically seeks out short term rewards, taper these down and it'll slowly be a little more open to the long term ones. Also refer to this comment of mine: for some generic but useful advice.

> I hope its not too late but he is mine. When do you know its time to seek professional help?
If it's readily available, I think if you have cause for concern, that's a good enough time to seek help. Even reasonably healthy people can benefit greatly from some supported and assisted reflection on their feelings and mental state.

Do you need it from your description? Maybe you could get by without it, but it's worth a shot user. Losing interest in things and hanging out with peeps is serious enough to warrant it even if it's not causing you major misery.

I often start doing stuff but stop it again after 3-5 days, how do I stick to new habits?

why cant i stop thinking about things i don't like?

Why am I sexually submissive as a man when I have had a happy and abuse-free childhood? I am clinically depressed if that matters.

i am not shy but suffer from social anxiety, like having trouble finding what to say and some minor eye contact issues
how do i fix this or atleast become the "cute shy" like in the 2D chinese cartoons

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> i deal with constant anxiety and stress sometimes i lose sleep over it
Sorry I only have generic advice again, but check out .

As for stress specifically, aside from doing your best to focus on it less, stress is very closely related to your breathing rhythm, when one is bad, the other is usually bad too, and it sounds cliche, but breathing exercises really go a long way in helping manage it.

In particular, try to reserve 1-3h before bedtime during which you avoid anything stressful altogether, and even settings or activities during which you're often stressed. These last few hours of your day are what hurts your sleep the most.

A relaxing ritual, like having a long shower, or a quiet cup of tea/coffee/hot choco away from the PC might help too.

> is me having to think about certain things when i enter certain rooms part of my ocd?
Sounds like it, yeah.

> do i suffer from autogynaphilia for wanting to crossdress and get fucked like a woman?
You don't "suffer" from having a kink or fetish, and there's certainly not anything wrong with that. Perhaps re-examine your values and figure out how to find self-acceptance? Besides for all you know you might not even like it if you do try it.

On the other hand, it'd be a whole different topic if you wanted to *be* a woman, that's called being transgender and while there's nothing wrong with it, it does suck a good bit.

> I often start doing stuff but stop it again after 3-5 days, how do I stick to new habits?
You could start with a smaller volume that is easier to hold yourself to, having a day's end checklist, or reinforcing the behavior by rewarding yourself for it - perhaps leave fun for after you do it, or have your fav snack. Keeping a note or two around might help to remind you too.

>why cant i stop thinking about things i don't like?
Intrusive thoughts, there's too many likely causes to just guess.

> Why am I sexually submissive as a man when I have had a happy and abuse-free childhood? I am clinically depressed if that matters.
Being sexually submissive or dominant is completely unrelated to your upbringing, and even across genders it's only a statistical trend rather than any clear cut distinction

The notion that men are sexually dominant and women are submissive is not very far from pure fabrication, and there's vastly more submissive men out there than people realize, possibly even more than intrinsically sexually dominant men.

There's def nothing wrong with it, and I don't see why you shouldn't embrace it, submission can be absolutely based fun.


And I really need to go to sleep now Aahhhh :-(

How do you find your passion? I chose to do a trade(carpentry) as a career but I'm not sure if it's what I want to do for the rest of my life. Im also afraid that I chose the wrong thing because I dont have any real interests or passion.

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Thank you both from your advice. I guess deep down I already know I should go but I'm uncertain how it will help. Most of my conflict comes from the incompatibility with me and society (if you excuse how cringey that sounds). Just this morning I couldn't stop thinking of things that affect me but I have no control over: climate change, corruption, hate, the exploitation of good people for greedy needs, the futility of the common man actually changing the world that actively, nefariously abuses and exploits.

My self-doubt, my confidence and outlook can change with therapy, I'm sure, but training myself to be happy despite all of these injustices going on seems untrue to myself and to the people that are suffering. Therapy won't stop the world from eating itself but I feel that therapy would try to make me happy or content despite those things occurring and I don't think I could do that

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>How do you find your passion?
suck a niggers cock

i tried writing diary entries or a to do list but also stopped after a few days

>Short session tonight. Questions with short answers only. Questions whose answers would take too much time will be answered another time.

whats your favourite anime

>but training myself to be happy despite all of these injustices going on seems untrue to myself and to the people that are suffering.
If you don't take care of yourself you'll just be suffering an injustice as well. And you need to be well yourself to do good for others. Take care of yourself user.

what did you just completely ignore my genuine question last time you stupid fucking bitch? i hope you die in a fire.

>If you don't take care of yourself you'll just be suffering an injustice as well. And you need to be well yourself to do good for others. Take care of yourself user.
>Of course. I'm not a good example of a psychologically healthy person. As to how I deal with it, I try to help others.

I appreciate your time but I don't know how fulfilling it was. You take care as well, we're all on the same boat.

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Probably late but after I ended my relationship of 2 and a half years I don't feel like trying. I tried to have a serious relationship again and it left me pretty hurt. Also I don't really feel like having irrelevant relationships that exist only for sex or just "spending time"

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Does it make sense to put my mental and physical health on the line for a career that pays well but is unstable for one reason or another (maybe my temperament or because I'm unlikeable), or to pursue my passion to the best of my ability and hopefully work up to earning a decent amount of money while still living with my parents? I'm in my early 20s.

I go through periods where I start to think about how everything in life is in vein and my life means nothing in the long run, and I start to forget about what I have in the present that gives me satisfaction. It eventually returns, but late at night, staring up at the wall, I just start to think about it again. How everything I ever do, have done or will do will end in nothing. What do?

I have been developing this strong admiration for accelerationism. I just want to watch society collapse and go to shit.

What could be causing me to feel this disdain for society? Anger? Loneliness?

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How do I stop being such a huge fucking pervert? I get turned on by literally any older woman who gives me attention and have gotten into the habit of stealing the shoes of older attractive women to jerk off with. I haven't gotten caught yet but I'd like to stop the urges before I do