Just let it all out user

just let it all out user
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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I have more anger than can be expressed in any amount of physical means within my lifetime

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I want to have consensual sex with a 12 year old girl

I want to scream like Luigi in that old shitty game

thats not what i meant but good on you for making it consenual user

I'm never going to be happy or stable
I'll never make anyone happy
I'll push everyone away
My brain is a dumpster fire of mental illness
The voices in my head are so loud and overpowering I don't even really know which one is me or if they're even mine
I'm a liar
I'm a scum liar coward
I can't have any quiet or peace from my noises
I'm a fucking mediocre writer who needs to put down the pen

I swear to fucking god this thing is going to kill me one day

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are you passionate about writing? even though you think you are mediocre?

Extremely. I write all day, even during lunch breaks at work. I'm sitting on a 120k manuscript right now, and like three other writing projects. They'r eall fucking terrible. I'm fucking terrible. I'm so painfully mediocre that it makes me want to destroy them all

You have a passion! keep at it! you will improve and if it makes you happy then you should give everything you have to it. life is too shit to not pursue something you love

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Hey, I need to tell you something. I thought about writing one day and maybe this could be useful information. Books are basically 3d representations of 4th dimensional objects. For a human, each action he does is permanent and each thing he does can be compared to a word on a page. They want something, struggle, experience tragedies, grow, etc. Fictional stories are basically reflections of human lives. For it to be good, you need to make it alive. People can tell when it's bad because usually bad writing is very inconsistent, illogical, and unpalatable. I don't remember where I was going. Hope this helped lmao

I honestly don't know mate, my mood is at a 5.5. I'm not particularly depressed or down, just very neutral. Only thing that could make happier is starting to put in more time on my music and I just arrived home and I'm tired as shit. I have to read and watch dumb shit for school for a degree that I don't give two shits about because it's my only realistic plan at the moment.

>unpalatable
*unrelatable

>I have more anger than can be expressed in any amount of physical means within my lifetime

This kind of feeling is one of the only things that really terrify me because I've been like that once. The "Just suck it up, you're a man" doesn't work.

When the anger builds up too much you end up at a point where you're able to produce a genuine smile, it's usually right before it all releases at once, I'm lucking to not be a murderer right now.

Now when walking outside i stare at everyone in the eyes. Not about to get killed by some fag with too much unfiltered rage in his veins

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I know I am improving. I read and write a lot every day. I have Bipolar disorder and my mood and mental stability are in constant fluctuation. I hate the whiplash. Nothing feels real or valid because it'll be over soon. And then I'll be elated and angry, and then back to this sorry fucking dead-dog state. Oh woe is me.

>Fictional stories are basically reflections of human lives. For it to be good, you need to make it alive. People can tell when it's bad because usually bad writing is very inconsistent, illogical, and unpalatable.
I'm aware of this. It's a lot harder than it sounds. I'm not moping because my writing is shit. I'm calling my shit writing shit because I'm moping. But thank you for your words

Just wanted to tell you that I love you and understand you. iktf well brother.

you on any meds for your bipolar disorder?

>Abilify (Antipsychotic)
>Seroquel (Antipsychotic)
>Lamictal (Mood stabalizer)
>Adderall (Stimulant)

I want off the ride lads.

holy fuck man, im only on 1 and even thats a hassle. how do you cope?

someday user, someday:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
heh heh

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>Jow Forums
>Therapy
>Meds
>Hobbies
>Friends
>Employment

AND IT ALL COMES CRUMBLING DOWN IN SEPTEMBER NO MATTER WHAT I FUCKING DO
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I DON'T WANT TO LIVE LIKE THIS

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You know what it's like, you're bipolar too right?

Dude, stop taking adderall. You don't need it. No one does

Nope. It helps keep me stable.

im(op) not no, you depressed, like everyone else

*im depressed

sorry that changes the meaning of the sentence completely

I'm so tired. I just want to rot into the earth and dissipate into the collective unconscious.