Everyone needs someone to vent to

What is bothering you recently? Tell me your story. I won't give advice, since it's probably pointless, but i'll listen to you because i am genuinely interested.
Also if you want you can post your discord and i'll add you to make it more personal.

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I got PSSD from 5 months of SSRI use 2 years ago. It took my pleasure and i now have permanent anhedonia, combined with the sexual dysfunction because of SSRI. Will probably kill myself over this in the upcoming months,

I have to "wait" for my purpose to come.

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I have no idea what PSSD, SSRI anhedonia, but don't kill yourself, dude. Imagine dying and never witnessing something wonderful that was supposed to happen. you never know.

It will happen eventually.

I've googled it. did you stop taking ssri without your doctor's knowledge?

No i did not. Fucker told me i could quit cold turkey.. Before all this i was a good looking, social, student. Since taking the ssri i am bedbound, cant do shit anymore. And it literally shrunk my dick into oblivion

Why'd you take it if you were fine before that?

Got kicked out of my first and only relationship more than 5 months ago. Still cant fucking cope. She was emotionally abusing me and it was just an online relationship, doesnt change that its probably the only chance at love ill ever get. I really really try my best to be the best person I can be. But it just seems fruitless. Ill never have good social standing. Im going into a career path and have the assets from my family to where im basically destined to be affluent to some degree, but it doesnt matter. Women dont want love. They dont want money or the stability that comes from it either. They want nothing but 10/10 flawless guys who can fuck their brains out and then leave them. I have no hope for the future. That one online relationship, it ended because she fucking cheated on me with some random dude that literally raped her. I spent all my fucking time and energy trying to make her world bright. I spent all of my extra money on her, buying her dinner, random things she needed, or just random gifts whenever to try to make her feel valued. I spent all of my time handling her schoolwork, basically taking two of her classes for her in addition to my full 15 credit hour courseload including hard as shit calc iii and physics ii courses. I was also there immediately whenever she needed someone to talk to, or just whenever she wanted to hang out. I fucking dedicated myself to her, and she just left me in the dirt and abandoned me forever for some disgusting piece of shit who actually assaulted her. I have no hope for living out a happy life, and im honestly to the point where I dont know if ill be able to justify living for more than a couple more years before blowing my fucking brains out. It feels as if every single fucking thing in the world is rigged against me, and im just tired of it. Im tired of being walked on by the people that are supposed to care about me. Fuck the world, and fuck me. I want to die.

I was plagued with overthinking things. Obsessiviness. took the pills and that totally got erased. Together with everything else.

i started drinking a few months ago, originally it was just with my one real life friend i've got. we'd buy releatively small bottles of liquor that were on sale and try them together so it was an experience, something to do. but since the first time i got drunk i started to sort of crave it. i say sort of because i don't think crave is the right word because i'm not going insane over it, but it keeps creeping into my mind. i started drinking on my own and now have regular thoughts about wanting to drink when i'm bored. i just enjoy the feeling of warmth, the way it makes time fly the way i just generally laugh and feel better wehn i'm getting drunk. but i know it's not good, i know i shouldn't be drnking on my own and i shouldn't be getting drunk regularly. but it seems like everynight i'm looking at the collection of bottles i've gathered and trying to convince myself to start drinking while also trying to convince myself not to. i've not had bad experiences yet but i know they're due.

People who make these comfy threads and reply to a lot of people are really the best of the best

I'm sort of confused right now. A ver important relationship for me fell apart. But I look back and there was no scenario where it didn't fall apart. She was my best friend since 2013, and my only close friend since 2015. It was all good until 2017, yeah when I fell in love with her and developed a super unhealthy obsession. I would get extremely jealous of her male friends and would try to manipulate her with guilt and pity. Somehow her boyfriend didnt make me feel anything, and that was a good thing.
2019, January, she breaks up with her boyfriend. This is the point I consider the point of no return. Now she would start hooking up with guys (she was kind of a slut, or at least wanted to be, it was hard for her to remain loyal), and that would destroy me. But something unexpected happen. She hooked up with me instead. Me, a 22yo khv at the moment. But it was a fwb relationship and she made it clear why she didnt want to be my gf.
Now one of these 2 things would happen:
I became bf material and we got together forever
or
She finds another guy and I go crazy.
The latter happened, of course, after only 3 months of fun. I had a crying fit in front of her when I found out. Then I blamed her on everything. She got really mad. Some conversations via chat later over the course of 2 months the conclusion is we wont talk to each other again. Everything is over.

I want to clarify something. She has some manipulative traits as well. Similar things have happened to 2 other guys, it's like she draws a lot of guys close to her, close enough to be worshipped but not too close that she would get attached. Then she makes them jealous of the other guys on purpose. And none of these relationships are private. She tells private stuff to make guys jealous.
I'm not placing all the blame on her. I am a piece of shit. I'm trying ot say we both have our issues.

cont

I'm sure this will be fairly mild compared to everyone else.
>What is bothering you recently?
I'm having a hard time "playing nice" with my friend's now ex-wife. She's in the same small college program as me and at least until January I have to play nice. I hate that she keeps lying and pretending that she didn't cheat on him, that she thinks everyone is a complete retard. She got pregnant with the dude she left him for, and still denies that she was ever cheating (it was a one time accident, even though they're dating now, and she was still legally married when she conceived).

I hate that now she uses her pregnancy as an excuse for everything in class too. We've only been back for 3 weeks and she's already started boohooing in an attempt to get her workload lessened.

I know I shouldn't let it bother me, because at the end of the day it's none of my business, but I don't think I've ever met anyone as arrogant and entitled as her and it just brings my piss to a boil.

my problems arent the worst but my main concern has been my appearance. i feel so ugly i dont even want to leave my bed in the mornings. i used to have really pretty long hair, but i cut it all off on impulse in october of last year and its made me feel miserable. i hope youre doing well though op

also discord is Ches #6766 if you wanna talk but thats basically the jist

Now what? I feel like shit for losing her. But I can't even make up scenarios where something like this didn't happen. Like we were meant to fall apart since the beginning. Even if she didnt break up with her bf I was extremely jealous of friends of her and eventually that would blow up, even if it was later rather than sooner.
Like this was the only way event could unfold, But I still feel like shit nonetheless. I dropped out and I've been a neet for 5 months now. Parents are getting tired of this. I have no friends, the few friends I had were thanks to her and they all now hate me almost as much as her because she talked shit about me to them, even lies to make me look worse.

I loved her but I feel like I've been lied for all these years. Like I've been scammed, deceived. Her love was a lie. I dont know. I probably should have never met her back in 2012. I cheated my fate and ended up befriending her, and now im lost

i think its important to remember that no matter what youre still alive, and im not sure if thats even comforting at all but. even with going through something so painful youre still here and breathing. obviously this is easier said than done but you can get back on track and start to feel alive again just by working on some skills that youd like to develop. maybe take a course in something you really enjoy and work up from there..
even if youve lost your way you can always return to that path. i know you can do it

you'll get over it eventually, keep your heads up, buddy

i know alcohol can make existence a bit more bearable, but it's really a downward spiral. please don't overdo it, user

you'll get over her, i promise. just keep your head up, user. if you need someone to talk to you can vent to your fellow robots.

why do you feel like you need to play nice? also don't worry, everyone's individual problems are worth mentioning. you can't measure the weight problems carry for one person.

It'll grow back. I can at least tell you that nobody cares about your looks as much as you do yourself, so don't think too much about it.

I'll add you right away, but i'm kinda busy so please don't expect me to respond immediately

thank you user, thats really reassuring to hear. its a little hard to remember not everyone obsesses over appearances (not that i do for others, but when it comes to myself i nitpick a lot) but im sure everyone is really self critical at times... thank you again for making this thread. youre really nice for wanting to help other people by listening

I got an entire group of people that meant the world to me (with the sole exclusion of one person) to all completely refuse to speak to me, and collectively block me on all platforms out of hatred towards me all in about 2 hours. I still had to go to school (fuck off trannie mods and gatekeepers, 18 and senior in HS) but just didnt even have the energy to carry myself from class to class. I went to get up from my calc class and I just up fell over in the middle of class flat on the floor, just trying to get a tissue to blow my nose Earlier, I was late by 30 seconds and ran from my car and tripped going up the stairs and fucked up my hand.
I still have friends and my family situation is a lot better even though my parents divorced and are selling the house, both moving to seperate states and neither flat out dont want to take me in with them when they move, so I'm looking at my own housing.
I have no motivation to do anything, all I can think about when I'm home trying to do work is just crawling into bed and sleeping but I never can until I've stayed up way too late. I used to struggle a lot with self hatred and suicidal thoughts and cutting 2 years ago, but I started to really fix myself, but I feel like everything around me is being destroyed and I haven't quitely prayed that I just don't wake up and that I just stop existing or that I just wake up from my bad dream, or that I wake up in a different world, I havent quietly prayed for any of that in a long time.

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yeah, that's fine. I think being self critical is important to improve, however you should do everything in proper moderation.

>I got an entire group of people that meant the world to me to all completely refuse to speak to me
what did you do and why?

>why do you feel like you need to play nice?
Our program consists of 12 students total, 9 females and 3 males. I know if I didn't continue to be chummy, it would ultimately create drama. She and I frequently worked on group projects together (she and I hung out on the weekends with our spouses so it made sense to just power out group work) so if we suddenly hated each other I know my classmates will be quick to take sides.

yeah, that sucks. how much longer do you have to do that?

forgot to (you), sorry

I was attracted to this guy since we were young like kids, worked up some courage to flirt with him in college .he asked me out. He liked me too we had this comfortable,soulmate atmosphere. We got to know each other more turns out I couldn't reciprocate any form of intimacy didn't know how, if there was it was kinda cold, awkward, forced or fake. Decided to let him go because I thought he was too good for me. he didn't need shit I had, bought into his life either. he's better off now with a girl he truly deserves.

did you break up or did he?

On shot day, you can feel the hormones rushing through your bloodstream, making you softer, girlier, more feminine, more lovable. Its the wonderful feeling of loving yourself. Finally.

join the discworld
kUGP5q4
kUGP5q4
kUGP5q4


{inv}

thank you user
I am actually better now, have been for 2 weeks. I had been planning how to hang myself, got myself a rope, tested places i could hang from in my house, made research, etc. I was practicing whenever I could
I dont think I ever wanted to do it really. But the point isnt if I was going ot kms or not. The point is I dont even want to practice anymore, I dont think about that as often now. And that has to be an improvement.
>maybe take a course in something you really enjoy and work up from there
this is great advice and I should do this

My brother and my grandmother died last month, on the same day. I live alone with my Mother, however she is an abusive narcissistic alcoholic. We moved away from the rest of the family a few years ago, and I am the only one here to support her. I cannot put into words what it is like to be the only person there for your own Mother as she goes through the death of her first child, but I will say it is hard. I have suffered severe depression and anxiety for most of my life now, I cannot leave the house without suffering panic attacks that have nearly made me collapse. I have no formal education qualifications, and we have very little money. My self hygiene has as you can expect, taken a turn, and my general health is not good either. Each day is a blur of noise, and pain. I'm dreaming, I blink and it is the night, I blink again and it is morning. It has been twenty two years of hell, and I have no happy memories. I hope that by some divine decision, this weight has been placed on me because I can carry it. I hope that if there is sense in the world, I suffer so that others don't have to. Maybe there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but I don't see it.

This sounds bad, sorry to hear it user. but if you can handle it you will get stronger from it.

>how much longer do you have to do that?
January, then I'll be student teaching and because she dropped and failed a class last spring she's delayed a semester.

And realistically she'll probably be delayed a full year. She's having her baby in March right when the class she dropped starts. I feasibly can't see her coming to class after squirting out a newborn.

You sound like a good person. I want to feel human. I have scars from a hard life and losses. I'm not really sure what I'm doing with life anymore

doesn't sound too bad then. just keep your head up. she will probably learn her lesson. and you seem to be doing fine soon.

>You sound like a good person
and you sound like a poet, my friend. i'm really not a good person however. there's always motives and you don't know mine.

Jow Forums was and still kind one of my main boards for years but now I'm old and just can't relate to teen drama anymore. Not to mention I became more old fashioned than my parents. I don't like smartphones I don't even have one but they do. I don't even want to know what Discord or those hip social apps/sites are.

Most of the insecure posts are beyond me because I already figured out there is nothing for me in life.

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yeah, sure I will

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how old are you, if i may ask? i see how it can be ostracizing, but unfortunately times change and Jow Forums is popular now. i don't like it either, but that's just how it is and there's nothing we can do about it. perhaps you will find interest in other boards. i like /a/nime elitism for example.

That's what I'm trying to do. I just feel for my friend, all he wanted was a future with this girl. They had a modest house in a nice community, he was eager to start a family, than bam she pulls this shit. Then to immediately get knocked up by the former-meth head felon she left him for just brings my piss to a boil.

I'm old as well, and sometime the shit I read on here goes over my head. I still haven't figured out this "coomer" thing I keep seeing spring up from time to time. Were you here when it was still 9000 pre-deletion? Or came right at the beginning of the rebirth of 9001?

>motives
I'm too basic for secrets. What do you want from me?

I live with my family and I have had a long distance girlfriend for the past 5 months that my parents don't know about. I knew her from online and we met (as friends) while she was studying here and we went on a few trips to places in Europe together. We officially got together the week before she left to go back to the US. I'm going to the US in ~2 months to visit her, but I told my family I'm just going there alone because I'm very scared of their judgement. They have made fun of people before in similar situations and they're very nosy and I generally feel like a relationship like this might warrant a lot of criticism. Do I keep lying to my family about this until I move out in a few months?

it makes me happy that youre doing better! even not thinking about it so much is one hell of an improvement. i know sometimes it seems like its the only way out, but you have to remember that there are people you havent even met yet that will enrich your life. even then, you dont necessarily need people to be happy. as long as you know you have a place in this world and a right to live and treat yourself to good things, you will be fine! you can do this user! i really really recommend gathering as many resources as you can regarding courses. it might seem like a waste when you first start, but i promise putting time into learning something new will kill at least a bit of your misery. best wishes user... i believe in you!

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not super in need of someone to vent to but talking might be nice, plus maybe fren but unlikely
anyone is free to add me
sere 0001

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Hey user, not the OP but someone with the same experience. Mine started when I was in elementary, I was kind of a thug and I had my other thug friends who viewed me as their leader. It was great, we have been so close our parents even became friends, I even spent regular times off at my best friends grandparents house, half a country away. Life really was good at that times, we did everything togerther and we did whatever we wanted, did graffiti, drugs, once we even found a rifle!! Can you imagine? In a country with super strict gun laws we found a RIFLE in the forrest, we just changed the spring and it worked!! Anyway, to get to the point. We turned 16, and a rival gang of thugs appeared, they were there all along, but we were the top dogs till now, and now they were looking to fuck us up. Games on bitch, me and my homies got you! .. except we didnt, it was at an abandoned railway and we got assbeatings of our lives! Looks like we gone soft, well I didnt really care much at this point. My homies on the other hand did. Instantly went from the coolest guy far and wide to the one nobody talked to, nobody. Even people outside of our ring got the info, and it was like that episode of black mirror, when they block you and you dont exist. I became the laughing stock of our neighbourhood, and it fucked me up mentally, I gained a ton of weight, became a shut-in .. and it didnt last days or months .. its lasted 4 fucking years. 4! But today, I am better than I have ever been, while out of my origo homies 2 are dead ( 1 related to the thug lifestyle, one not) 3 are in rehab, 2 more have retired kinda like me, except willingly and couple other I havent heard of in years. I probably am the best off right now, even though I got through those 4 terrible fucking years.

Sorry it written like shit, I am on my phone.

well, i'm sure she'll reap what she sowed.

i'm just interested in your stories. i don't do this out of pure altruism.

i don't feel like i'm the right person to give advice on this since my relationship to my parents was terrible and i've driven them out of my life pretty fast. you gotta think about if you rather want to hurt your parents or get criticised by them. so it boild down to potentially hurting yourself or them. i think you are more than able to make that decision.

i'll add you right away

I broke off it off user

I'm 36 years old. My hq is co for a while now. IMO it is one of the few boards that is timeless or at least the cartoons I like there. You can sperg with people about characters without bringing up real life. I like /v/ as well, more drama but bearable. Some fags in my area achieved rangeban on it so I can't post but it doesn't matter.

I'm on Jow Forums since 2005. I don't really remember when did I start using Jow Forums a lot. I don't remember much at all. I'm not smart, my memory was always trash, I forget specific things quickly, only remember things in general.

cant find a job because i flake after a month or two. i travel to visit my gf a lot and its always stressful coming back home because i just clamor to find a job to fund these escapades. i end up working like a dog at warehouses but even they dont want me because of my school schedule now. hopefully ill find something decent. i sold my runescape account again and a few other knickknacks so im still on track moneywise

I didn't get into the university I wanted so I'm repeating the year, which in the process created my own personal nightmare. To summarise, I'm without physically close friends, depressed and under pressure to get another offer I might not ever receive.

The feel is real anons

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Where I live the state fair is going on

why don't you move together with your gf?

i can't relate to that unfortunately, since i'm 23 and it's been 7 years for me. it's an honor though.

why are you under pressure?

>I'm on Jow Forums since 2005.
Hey I've been here since 2005 as well, I was underaged and a retard at the time so I actually believed if I posted the /b/ boogieman would get me so I lurked a lot before I started posting in 2006ish on /a/. It's been a wild ride.

>why are you under pressure?

- Because I have an inherent fear that I'll be left behind
- Because my Dad wants me out
- Because ABD makes me look like a retard, and it's within my intention to clear my name
- Because my Parents never taught me skills or the means to acquire them, so now I have to catch up

Honestly most of it is pressure I put on myself, but then again I hate wasted potential and the feeling that I let everyone down the first time

i can relate to that, but i feel like your parents wouldn't mind waiting another year if you succeed then.

Taking GABA, shatavari, L-arginine, pine bark extract, maca root, ginseng, vitamin B12, omega-3, iodine, and zinc help with getting throbbing hard erections. I haven't been on SSRIs but I couldn't get hard for months and taking these let me masturbate like I'm 14 again. I hope you can get your sexual function back, user!

my gf is in europe and i live in america.

just that i get along with girls really well but never was and never will be seen romantically
there's this old common theme of "uprooting mountains" for a woman, which i interpret as romantic companionship giving very strong willpower to a man, which is something i sorely lack
the actions i take that others might interpret as "strong-willed", of which i do quite a few in my line of work, in truth have no defined will behind them - they are essentially consciously exaggerated and sorta-controlled impulses that i grab onto and act out to see more functioning than i really am
the outwardly competent, positive and friendly persona i adopt and show to the outside world has behind it an emotional wreck of a man, crying himself to sleep several nights a month, lonely and miserable, and there's nobody i could ever show that weakness to and i'm not sure how long i can keep the charade up

36 y/o user here. I still remember how nervous was I making my first posts. To this day I never really post much. I had a few years to lurk actually because the entire site range banned my provider for years.
Fun fact: I visited /b/ maybe a dozen times through the years. I never understood what people like in it.

well, why don't you move together?
you could try finding a job that you can do over the internet. there are a lot of online courses that would prepare you for such a thing

that's the curse of being male. i also feel like opening up would be too dangerous. you can open up to me. i'm just a faceless entity, there's nothing i could do to harm you.

Only way I can live anymore, only thing I can depend on and put faith in is to be stupidly in my own world where I can follow my irrational desires in healthy ways to promote growth. I can't rationalize my life with logic, just insanity, adaptive instinct and animal fear. Every night I am raving, pacing, jumping, dancing, kicking, punching, singing, screaming, laughing, all while worshiping ideals of ugliness, rot, absurdity and hatred because it makes me happy and it makes me feel better about all the chaos in my life. I follow my every whim into completion by funneling it through the tunnels of progress that make me happy like a child, like an animal. I love being stupid.

This is just thoughts and it's not a thing that is really recent but still:
Through my whole life I've never really felt "calling" or passion towards anything. Somewhat of a nihilistic mindset, but it's more about not knowing about meaning rather than the lack of it. I've just gone with the flow, not caring where it takes me. Now, this works in childhood no problemo, but as an adult it just takes you nowhere. You need motivation in life, you need reasons to study or work or whatever. Don't have those and you'll just achieve shit grades, not passing exams, not getting that job etc, life down the drain maybe. For me it meant droping out of university. And still, that doesn't really feel like much. I don't really care if I end up on the streets or die because of starvation.
Only thing I kinda care about is my family to some extend and I know if I were to die young, their lives would be ruined too so that sucks.
So, only thing I do is just existing. Not moving anywhere.

I'm 23 and still living with my mother and I ain't got no job (i'm in college)
Meanwhile my immature sister moved out to live with her boyfriend and she just got a job today
I feel really stupid

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I've been doing well at my current job and have been getting a good amount of phrase lately. Yet I absolutely hate my job and want to quit every day.

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moving into a european country with no marketable skills is very difficult. at some points i entertain the idea of moving in illegally and try to pass myself off as a refugee or something. there is a lot of manual labor in demand in her country so it wouldnt be impossible to become self sufficient. but if i get caught i will be banned from traveling so i would never see her again. that on top of dropping my progress in school and saying goodbye to the few family i have forever deters me for actually going through with the idea.

I lack the desire to form long lasting and deep relationships, i "make friends" with people (often autists) but its artificial and not deep. I don't really care though, its more about if its good or bad, and whether/when i should strive to fix it. Im a cyborg with no desire to be a robot faggot.

Dont worry. Depending on what you are going to college for, you are probably fine. No need to compare yourself to others immediately. Also you are making a smart financial choice to live at home. I blew my summers savings on two semesters of college dorm and wished id saved it and lived at home. Also you should take care of your parents/mom when theyre older if you feel like youre leeching off them.

How old are tou and what is your current job?

>i'm just a faceless entity, there's nothing i could do to harm you.
you know, i've thought a lot about these things and i'd probably cause more harm to myself by attempting to vent than anyone ever could from the outside
most of the activity in my life goes on inside my head, all of the transformation and development, all of the growth, and also the majority of problems that matter
opening up just seems like it would cause unnecessary distress to the other person if they care or annoyance if they don't, which i would feel mighty guilty and embarassed for in either case, and i can't imagine any tangible help or solution i might gain from opening up
there's probably a case to be made for emotional support, but who the fuck is gonna give me emotional support, knowing how fucked up i am
nobody cares about any of this, nor does anybody have a reason to care
i'm locked inside my mind, struggling with all of this shit, alone, and without any purpose to the struggle that i can discern or derive
on the bad days, i don't care about myself enough to even take care of the basic needs, much less trying to fix this emotional mess

I don't feel like I'm leeching off her because I do help around the house with cleaning and going for groceries.
I just feel... immature about not having a job. I know studying & working at the same time is tiresome but I can't help it

You are female i presume. May i suggest finding a man? If you cant get the men you like, you should better yourself.

>Fun fact: I visited /b/ maybe a dozen times through the years.
I think I've probably visited about the same inregards to /b/. I mostly stuck to /a/, /v/ and /co/ when it was created. I liked original Jow Forums cause it was basically the good parts of /b/ in one board before it became this.

Ya its fine dude fuck it as long as you have a good path that you stick to. Nothing wrong with developing later especially for men. The neets are right in that theres no need to wageslave if you dont have to. Fuck what society thinks.

>You are female i presume.
nope, wrong on that one, i am male

well, depending on your college degree you'll find something. i'm sure. your sister just got lucky, but you'll get through it by hard work! keep your head up man.

you're literally me. my job is great, but i hate it nonetheless.

try doing online courses. engaging with stuff yourself gives a good impression on employers

i have the same problem. i have a lot of friends, but none that really care about me. we live in a lonely world, brother.

do what you think is right. my discord offer still stands.

>The neets are right in that theres no need to wageslave if you dont have to. Fuck what society thinks.
this. thanks user

28
Bartender
oreganario

high school zoomer here, its my first full week of school and ive already missed the first 3 days because of anxiety and just straight up dreading it. going in tmmrw and im scared as fuck, I have one friend at this school.
>inb4 underage b&
fuck off

that anxiety is temporary. you'll make it through, don't worry too much about it. we've all been there.

a connection with anyone is rare enough but once you put a specific gender on it the odds are even lower. the acceptance that dying alone is an inevitability rather than a curse is a hard pill to swallow for anyone. stop trying to fit in to these social conventions if your livelihood doesnt depend on it. once you do that you walk around with sense of sincerity within yourself that will have that possible connection gravitate towards you.

Do you have any aspirations of getting a better job (both personally and financially) or what? I'd be depressed as fuck if I were you, no offense intended.

Do it for madden

the plan is to get my degree and build my skillset high enough to the point where i could get sponsored by a company. i already took it upon myself to teach myself shit like C and catch up on the latest advancements in the field im studying. right now im just aching for some work to get some cash by christmas time

the kids in your school probably feel the same way. just go and enjoy it. once high school is over youre thrown into the real world and thats x10 more anxiety inducing

>Do you have any aspirations of getting a better job (both personally and financially) or what?
I want to, but I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life. I've been thinking about giving trade school a shot.
>I'd be depressed as fuck if I were you, no offense intended.
I am, and no offense taken.

this summer i went to live with my internet boyfriend who ive known for years and hes completely boring and i dont know if i want to stay with him
he can barely hold a conversation/talk about anything besides work and basically just plays vidya all day. he ignores me and does not make me feel valued, i feel like im wasting my time. im back for my final year of college now but this relationship feels like its not worth even possible senior year hookups
my boyfriend started "changing" for me but i still feel like id be a fool to wait it out. it seems like even after he starts doing less mindless things he will not be any more interesting. to top it off, he doesnt really treat me like a romantic partner, instead more like a friend. he does not initiate conversation/relational growth either
should i forgive him for wasting my time this summer?

how do you know someone for years and not know what youre getting yourself into.

is this a LARP?
because it sure as hell reads like one.

Have you tried talking to him about vidya? Females.

i have no idea how you feel, but the way you talk about him repulses me. you apparently don't enjoy his company so drop him. why are you even asking that question. you talk about your so called "boyfriend" like he is just a nuisance to you, so just end it.

I wish it was buddy
I was telling myself this too. I had a bad understanding of what he did when he wasn't in discord. Love is blind. I guess I'm not too deep in the hole time wise so I could break it off but I would feel bad, he really loves me just doesnt know how to make me jappy

I play vidya too but it's a pretty shallow topic to talk about. Fine sometimes but if that's the only thing you discuss convo will run dry and it's not too interesting anyways

>it's a pretty shallow topic to talk about
does he not play anything competitively? certain genres get quite in-depth even without that, but competitive games at a high enough level are not shallow at all

isn't bartending a job for late at night anyway? so you could attend school during the day. do bartenders make good money?

have you actually talked to your boyfriend about it? i think if you feel like wasting your time with him there is no question to be asked if you should break up with him or not.

>but it's a pretty shallow topic to talk about
that depends on the game. what games do you play? i play WoW with my gf and we talk a lot about it.

Not really. We play overwatch together sometimes but he has probably 1/2 the amount of hours as I do. I understand the depth competitive games can go into believe me, but this is not really a good gateway into getting to seriously knowing someone not is it such a grand topic that it would be a good base for a whole relationship. Again, not bad conversation inherently but not the only thing I wanna talk about

what do you expect? your description is extremely vague.

Idk I guess I just wish he had a life for him to tell me about
You guys are right

the general idea of competitiveness can branch out into a lot of topics as well
though overwatch is a hobo barrel fire of a game, so it's not a good vehicle for conversation in any case lmao

the most practical option is to just be direct with the guy, tell him he's doing the relationship thing wrong and if he doesn't change course you'll leave

It really depends on the person. My gf follows a lot of makeup videos and i asked her why she watched them. I as a hot blooded american male had no interest in makeup but was enthralled about how she liked the technique and skill set that a GOOD makeup artist has. she trusted some of the opinions of certain makeup artists and pointed out subtle critics that some of them would that would have initially flew by my head and gave me an insight on women in general.

I have talked to him multiple times but I wont really be able to tell whether or not he has improved until I can live with him for an extended period of time again. My dilemma is that I dont know if its worth waiting. I know you guys cant give me solid advice without knowing everything, just came to vent. Thanks

I'm just tired of trying with girls. I never saw myself as boring or anythiing, heck, most dates I've been to usually end up great, as in she never seems to be bored or annoyed. It's just that I don't get called back, ususally they ignore me afterwards should I try to go for a second date. It begins to get so tiresome, a constant flow of rejection over and over, it's very soul crushing and exhausting. My friends told me to take a break from dating but I can't handle being alone anymore. There's tons of thing I want to do with a partner but I'm getting scared that she will never show up.

I have never been rejected but I know I will so why even bother. Anything and everything I do will end up effecting someone negatively and all my peers think i'm so happy and so fucking funny but I just want to die. The attention I get is the only thing that keeps me going and even then the high doesn't last forever. I've tried inhalants and alcoholic beverages and they were good but not as good as being loved. It's true what they say, love is a drug and i'm so fucking addicted. And now that i'm cut out from it I just feel lost... If I try to get help they will end up putting be in a fucking hospital so I guess ill just wait until I kill myself one day (And my bitchy sister is going to get her brains kicked in when that day comes.) Not to mention the shit going on with my sexuality, I don't even know anymore.

I don't know if I should start hurting myself psychically every time I make a mistake or have gay thoughts.

How did you get these girls to go on the dates with you, real life or an app? If a girl is bored or annoyed she will probably do a good job hiding it as not to be rude. What do you try to talk to girls about on a date? Women like men with good insights and an interesting social life they can partake in. Smoothness/humor is a cherry on top.
There is a woman out there for you user, you just have to be able to convince her that being with you won't be a total snoozefest.

No one is "supposed" to care about you my guy.
Youre in your own, but calm down so is everyone else in the world.
Nobody deserves love, you can work your ass off to get it and it might never come. Thats how everything worth having is, all you can do is come to understand people and things like this better so you dont get surprised like you seem to be.

Andoras#4324 if you are still around, OP
Was gonna post here back when the thread was new but it slipped my mind

I want a boyfriend but I dont feel I am good enough. Men hit on me and I dont think I am ugly. But I know there are millions of way prettier girls out there than me so it makes me wonder why I even try. I guess I am kind of shallow myself and want a handsome bf. But any guy who is even moderately attractive always has dozens of girls sending him nudes on snapchat and thirsting after him in his dms. Girls are even thirstier than guys these days. I am a very loving and caring person who has a lot to offer in a relationship. But most guys just want to pump and dump and I am not interested in sex without commitment.

I dated a legit Chad for a while and he called me his girlfriend. But he was talking to tons of other girls at the same time and my jealousy got the better of me. He called me beautiful and it did boost my self esteem. But it also hurt my self esteem because I was constantly comparing myself to other girls he found attractive.

I want romantic love but it just seems like everyone is so fake these days and prone to cheating because its so easy. It really depresses me.